Mitchel Adler has this appeal to the wishers out there.
It was August 2, 1974 when I learned to hide my wishes. Staring at a chocolate cake with five birthday candles on it, I heard my mom say, "Make a wish." With thoughts of a puppy filling my head, my mouth opened to share the news. However, I was struck silent by the screeching sound of my mother's voice yelling, "Don't share it! If you share your wish, it won't come true."
I was shocked and confused. My parents were the ones I needed on board to get a puppy. How would they know I wanted one if I didn't share it with them? But, being a good boy, I did as I was told and I kept that wish to myself. No puppy arrived.
This was the first time I learned that simple, yet pervasive idea that we are not supposed to share our wishes. Instead, we are to keep them a secret. This same message emerged time and again, over shooting stars, seeing 11:11 on the clock, or finding a four-leaf clover. "Don't share your wishes or they won't come true."
Fortunately I have evolved into a more critical consumer of conventional wisdom. As a clinical psychologist, I know the importance of communication and expressing our needs. In fact, much of the distress I see in my clients comes from fears of sharing desires, needs and, yes, wishes.