Can Smoked Watermelon Taste Like Ham?

Can a watermelon really taste like ham? That’s what host Brontez Purnell and his chef pal Deontre Martin are determined to find out as they embark on a 3-day vegan odyssey of seasoning, brining, and smoking a watermelon in order to make a plant-based smoked watermelon ham.

Will our devoutly omnivore host be convinced? Will you?

Side dishes include a Thai-inspired watermelon carpaccio served with coconut rice with peas and plenty of laughs along the way.

Directed by Brontez Purnell.

Smoked Watermelon Ham Recipe

For brined watermelon:

• 1 medium seedless watermelon (10 to 12 pounds)
• ¾ cup kosher salt
• ¼ cup dried oregano leaves
• 2 tablespoons cracked black peppercorns
• 4 juniper berries, lightly crushed with the side of a cleaver or knife to release the flavor
• 3 whole cloves
• 2 fresh or dried bay leaves
• 3 tablespoons coconut sugar
• 1 tablespoon coriander seed
• 1 tablespoon chili powder
• 1 tablespoon smoked paprika
• 2 teaspoons garlic powder
• 2 teaspoons onion powder
• ½ teaspoon ground cloves
• 3 thyme sprigs

In a large container or oversized pot with lid, add skinless watermelon and all of the seasonings. Add enough water to cover. Cover container and let sit to brine for three days.

To dry/dehydrate:

• 1 cup of food grade oak wood ash

Place brined watermelon on a baking sheet with a rack to allow for 360 degree air flow. Rub oak wood ash evenly around watermelon surface. Place in a 200 degree oven with the door slightly ajar for 1.5 hours.

To smoke:

• 1 cup hickory chips (soaked in water for up to 2 hours)

For marinade:

• ½ medium onion coarsely chopped
• 4 medium scallions green onions chopped
• 2-3 Tablespoons Fresh Thyme
• 1½ tablespoons fresh ginger chopped
• 8 Garlic cloves chopped
• 1 Tablespoon cinnamon powder
• 1 Tablespoon Allspice coarsely ground
• 1 tablespoon coarsely white pepper
• ½ Tablespoon freshly grated nutmeg
• 2 tablespoons dark brown sugar
• 2 Tablespoons Honey
• 2 Tablespoons Maggi Sauce or Soy sauce
• 1 Tablespoon veggie bouillon powder

Place soaked chips onto a large sheet of heavy duty aluminum foil. Fold the chips inside the foil to create a water-tight packet. Pierce the packet several times to allow the smoke to vent. Place this packet under the grill grates on your gas grill so it comes in direct contact with the heating element. Turn the grill on high and close the lid until you start to see smoke.

Remove watermelon from the low oven and wipe the ash from the surface. Score the surface in a 1-inch crosshatch pattern. Turn grill to low. Place watermelon on grill grate directly above the aluminum packet and close the lid. Allow it to smoke for 1.5 to 2 hours, occasionally basting with the marinade.

To crisp surface:

• ½ cup neutral oil (canola, vegetable, or grapeseed are great choices)
• ¼ cup coconut sugar

Place oven on broil. Remove from the grill and using dry the surface thoroughly using paper towels. Lubricate the surface with enough oil to cover completely and then sprinkle with coconut sugar. Place in broiler and watch carefully to see the surface of the watermelon begin to char.

About Cooking with Brontez: KQED Food's new series Cooking With Brontez brings viewers into the home kitchen as we truly know it: lively, chaotic, and full of good humor. Every Monday beginning November 2021, visit the KQED Food channel on YouTube for hilarious and charming home-cooking tutorials hosted by celebrated Oakland author and performer Brontez Purnell. Join Brontez as he drops in on a host of local chefs and friends to share a spicy culinary adventure in this public media cooking show for a new era.