For John R. McCoy, running started off as just a hobby, but now it’s developed into a form of meditation.
In the last six months, I’ve found my way back into a running habit. It used to be just a hobby, an exercise I powered through in response to a stressful day. But returning to running has helped me to notice how the power of my thoughts impact how I experience the world.
At the start of my run, when my body is cold despite warm-up stretches, and the repetitive motion of lifting my legs and planting my feet can feel out of sync, I anticipate misery for however long the run will last. This feeling shows up in my stomach as an ache, as if someone threw rocks into a dryer. My heart beats faster, and with each step I think, “Can I really go on like this?”
Panic sets in, and I think to myself, “Who are you kidding, this is not going to end well; you might consider stopping before you fail.”
When these thoughts and feelings show up, I distract myself by identifying all the yellow objects around me – street signs, car blinkers, and the yellow pigment in a tree’s lime-green leaves.
While the feeling of anticipation eventually goes away, it can and frequently returns. It returns when I’m in the final stretch and questioning if I can make it to the finish line.
During these moments, I try to bring myself back to the present. What’s around me that I can enjoy? Eventually, my mind forgets about the anticipation and doubt, and I return to the familiar rhythm and pace I find rejuvenating.