Elizabeth Rynecki’s son has a disorder that is as misunderstood as it is common. She hopes to change that.
My 18-year-old son, Owen, has ADHD. Diagnosed at 10, he struggles with executive function skills and emotional regulation. It’s incredibly difficult for him to organize his time, prioritize responsibilities, or keep his emotions in check. When he gets angry, his reactions flash across his face, his shoulders tense up, his hands clench into fists. He struggles to find cathartic ways to release his frustration about the ever-expanding to-do-list that comes with growing up. He has no interest in mindful meditation, doesn’t find much solace in therapy, and is apathetic about exercising.
During particularly traumatic episodes, he prefers to hide from the world in his cave like room, below a pile of heavily weighted blankets, surrounded by a teetering pile of stuffed animals, headphones blocking out the world, reading a book on his phone.
It’s easy to feel impatient with a kid like Owen, to hope that he’s just in a funk and to suggest he simply work harder to redirect himself. If it were that easy, I would have solved the puzzle long ago.
I’ve been working on being more vocal about Owen’s largely invisible disabilities and on dissuading folks of the misconception that ADHD is simply about hyperactivity and stimming behaviors like playing with a fidgeting toy. I’ve taken much of my inspiration from neuro-diverse Instagram users who share their experiences to help others like Owen (and moms like me) to understand that hypersensitivity, inattention, and dysregulation are real challenges.