Pooja Srivatsa: Misophonia

Sometimes, putting a name to a mysterious affliction can bring relief. Pooja Srivatsa tells us her story.

For most people, sitting down for a meal with family or sipping coffee in a cafe are everyday pleasures. A classmate clicking their pen during class or a bunch of chatterboxes in a movie theater may be minor irritations, forgotten after the moment has passed.

However, for some people, one smack of the lips during a meal or one slurp of a drink can set off alarm bells in their body and mind, and trigger hot white rage. Their body trembles, anger and hatred momentarily blind them—even if the target is their most loved one.

I am one of those people.

I first noticed my extreme sensitivity to certain sounds around age 13. I couldn’t stand the sounds of chewing, chomping, slurping, feet shuffling, pen clicking, among others. Each time I heard such a sound, I quietly bristled with anger and disgust. These feelings made me question my sanity. As if the trials and tribulations of turning a teenager weren’t bad enough, I had this strange affliction to deal with. My parents couldn’t understand and were distressed.

Life went on and I struggled, till a year ago, my husband sent me an article that talked about people having extreme reactions to certain sounds, and it had a name! Misophonia.

I was stunned. I could not believe what I thought was my secret and personal shame was in fact a disease. It took a huge weight off my shoulders because I now knew that I wasn’t weird. My parents finally understood what was happening. I realized they had carried a sense of guilt and wondered what it was they did or said to make me behave that way.

I speak about my condition openly. My family and close friends show empathy and try to be more mindful around me.

So, how am I doing today? I rely on preparation and techniques to manage my triggers. Going to a movie? I take my noise canceling earbuds along. Going out to dinner? I take my ear plugs with me. I take deep breaths. I am like a soldier, ready with strategy and ammunition to protect myself against the enemy within myself.

I look forward, with renewed hope, to living as normal a life as possible and enjoying all sounds this world has to offer!

With a Perspective, I’m Pooja Srivatsa.

Pooja Srivatsa is a former IT professional in the Silicon Valley and newly turned stay-at-home mom.