When Daisy Preciado wasn’t receiving the support she needed, she decided to take action into her own hands.
“Why not me?” Although at first it may sound awful, it’s something I frequently think to myself.
Growing up being the youngest amongst my siblings, I felt like I had the upper hand. I watched as my older sister dealt with the absence of my parents’ support. I saw its effects on her and thought that because I knew how they behaved, I’d be fine without it. No amount of years witnessing this on my siblings could have prepared me for the desperate feelings of want. I continuously want and seek approval and reassurance although I know it won’t be achieved.
Having things that feel like an accomplishment such as programs that I am doing, advanced classes, or extracurriculars are never usually noticed. Once, while going to dance practice before a performance, my dad complained about me going, asking me why I was going, that I was just wasting gas. Those small phrases and questions hurt as it leaves me feeling confused. Being told that I am “wasting” gas before doing something big like performing for an audience, felt like a slap in the face especially since they didnt go. It feels like me doing this is an inconvenience. Along with this, simple acts like asking for permission to go somewhere has always felt like a chore. Sometimes making me want to stay home instead of going. Seeing as my friends and peers are allowed to enjoy their youth and have that support makes me of course happy but also leaves me wondering “why not me?”.
The desperate feelings of wanting some sort of approval and support persist, but I know I am in control of who and what I become. The lack of support affected me and affected my parents growing up, likely leading them to continue on their parents’ actions and footsteps. It is up to me to change that. To grow although being slightly hindered. To do things for myself rather than for the unattainable praise of someone else.