Katie Reilly: Let's Talk About Perimenopause

Katie Reilly navigates conversations on perimenopause and why more education is needed. 

I recently had lunch with a friend who shared that she’s been anxious lately and was having trouble falling asleep, but she couldn’t figure out why.

“Do you think it could be perimenopause?” I asked her. She silently nodded, looking relieved, and said she’d speak to her doctor.

At least once a week, I’m having conversations like this with other women in my life. My female friends, who are mostly in their early to mid-forties, are sharing that they’re anxious, depressed, losing their hair and are experiencing heavy periods, bad cramping, and shoulder pain.

Menopause is defined by twelve months without a menstrual period. Perimenopause is the phase leading up to that, which can last between a couple months to several years.

The women I’ve spoken to say that their doctors haven’t talked to them about the symptoms to watch out for or the potential treatments available. Not one has said that their mother spoke to them about what to expect or that they learned about this phase from an educator in school.

This doesn’t feel like an unfamiliar situation. When my period arrived for the first time, during childbirth or the placement of an IUD, I often didn’t feel as supported or educated as I’d hoped. Now at 42, I feel like I’m navigating this challenging time in life with minimal education and information and with, what often feels like, limited medical support. There is no reason for women to suffer in silence.

There is more conversation now about perimenopause than there ever has been, but it’s not enough. I hope that my daughters’ generation will normalize discussing this and that when they’re my age, there will be more solutions available to help women through this inevitable stage in life. For now, I’ll continue to educate myself, support other women in my life and advocate for increased awareness and resources. Perhaps that is the best that we can do for now.

With a Perspective, I’m Katie Reilly.

Katie C. Reilly is a freelance writer based in Oakland whose  work covers women’s health and parenting. Her work has appeared in the Washington Post, The New York Times Magazine, and Elle, among other publications.