Keith Humphreys: A Day at the Barbershop

Keith Humphreys shares what happened when he took his son to a barbershop for the first time.

When I took my 5-year-old son to a Redwood City barbershop for the first time, I brought him into a masculine subculture he didn’t understand.

There was the requisite group of old, bald guys who hang out in barbershops and were watching a football game along with the barbers and the guys who actually needed a haircut. Raucous shouts of “Throw it!”, “Get him!”, “They were offsides!” punctuated running side conversations about where to get a decent transmission repair, what’s the matter with sports these days and why all politicians are cheats and liars.

Having grown up in West Virginia, it was the sort of place in which I’d always got my hair cut, and a male domain in which I felt comfortable. My gentle, shy son however, raised in a middle-class Silicon Valley bubble, clearly did not.

Not having brought one of his treasured books to read, he simply sat down quietly and watched. He relaxed a bit as he noticed that although the men were loud, they were also kind. They ribbed each other with underlying affection and proudly shared stories about how their grandson’s soccer team had won its conference or that their daughter-in-law had gotten a promotion.

When the time came, my son took his spot in the chair and I turned to watch the game. Moments later, a yell rang out “Are you kidding ref?!” The men stopped talking. The barbers stopped snipping.

It was my son, arms raised as if in righteous anger. He could not possibly have known what a ref was, much less accused one of having missed a call. But clearly, he had listened carefully.

The old guy next to me said to his friend, “That’s a smart kid.” The barber put a hand on his shoulder and said, “You know your football, kid,” and went back to cutting.

My boy’s face beamed as he was unexpectedly welcomed into the company of men. With a Perspective, I’m Keith Humphreys.

Keith Humphreys is a Professor of Psychiatry at Stanford University.