The Internet has been ablaze with rumors that Downton Abbey will end after its next season. Don't freak out just yet though! No one seems to be able to provide hard evidence to support the theory. But maybe ending Downton wouldn't be such a terrible idea, considering that the show's quality is not what it once was when Sybil was alive and well, showing off her harem pants.
This season has had its moments — Edith's accidental act of arson, Mary's sex positive ways, everything Maggie Smith has done or said — but, as a whole, it has felt like a trudge. If this truly is the end, here are some humble suggestions on what should happen to the characters we have grown to love (and the ones we just put up with):
You might think this show is all about Mary, but you're wrong. The true star is Edith, patron saint of all misunderstood middle children. I see Edith moving to Germany during the lead up to World War II and infiltrating the Nazi party so that she may exact revenge on whoever killed Michael a.k.a. that dude who knocked her up, didn't marry her, and promptly vanished. Edith decides to prove everyone wrong and change the course of history by assassinating Hitler. She inevitably screws it up because she's Edith and is put into a witness protection program under the pseudonym Jan Brady.
Speaking of tragic figures, poor Thomas has been pigeon-holed as the evil, miserable gay trope for the past five seasons. I see Thomas taking his spoon and drugs and moving to the big city, where he meets Virginia Woolf, while walking around Bloomsbury. She helps him get clean and begs to set him up on a blind date! "It's not just because you're both gay!" she promises. He relents and his blind date is no other than E.M. Forster, famed writer and fellow wistful closet case. Thomas' emo-ness cancels out Forster's emo-ness and they live happily ever after.
For once in her life, Mary doesn't get what she wants. She dies from shock.