When you have a sensory disorder, everyday life can become a nightmare. Addie Barr brings us this Perspective.
For most people, going to restaurants is a way to celebrate when something fun happens. For me though, going to a restaurant, or just eating in general, is torture. I have to think about a lot before I go. I have to think about what foods I can eat without triggering myself and who is a loud chewer just so I can somewhat enjoy dinner.
I’ve had to do this for as long as I can remember. I used to think I was crazy; I never knew anybody else that had to deal with this. Then in sixth grade I found out that it wasn’t just me, I had a disorder called misophonia. Misophonia translates to “hatred of sound,” but it’s not just sounds that can trigger people. It can be things that we see, or smell, or feel. It’s really a sensory disorder. Even though barely anybody knows about misophonia, it is shockingly common.
Last month during a flight home from a school trip, my worst fear came true. My airpods died and my charger wasn’t working. I was surrounded by my biggest triggers. I started to panic. All I could think of was how I needed to get off this plane. Now if this were to happen to me in class, or at home, or anywhere else , I would have gotten up and moved away from the noise or gone for a walk, but because I was on a plane, I couldn’t do any of those things. The only thing my brain could focus on was the noise. And since it was the only thing I could think of, the noise just got louder and louder. It was like being stuck in an endless loop of torture.
Because I’ve had misophonia for so long, I have learned a lot about it. Like what I can do to help when I’m triggered, and how I can try to explain this condition to my friends and family. I’ll likely never be rid of this, and it still sadly controls my everyday life, but it has gotten better. I am going to keep trying different potential solutions for myself and to help educate others—the more people who know, the more we can all be aware of the seemingly mundane things we do that can so heavily impact others around us.