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"disqusTitle": "'Poldark' Season 4 Finale Recap: Kiss Off",
"title": "'Poldark' Season 4 Finale Recap: Kiss Off",
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"content": "\u003cp>In\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105809/poldark-season-4-episode-7-recap-london-calling\"> the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Ross murdered Demelza's wannabe date rapist by shooting him in the groin. My calves are still aching from all the dancing I did on his grave.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107376\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/elaine-seinfeld-dance-graves.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"458\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Will the \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> writers hand over the Drake and Morwenna wedding we deserve so I can keep my leg muscles toned? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tarot Card Agatha is celebrating her birthda.... wait, what the hell is going on?! She's supposed to be dead! Francis (a.k.a. Backstabber Cousin) is there too, despite being murdered by a puddle a while ago. You remember:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107469\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drowning-puddle-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"214\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Is this purgatory?! Alas, no, it's just a flashback to 1780. All the boys have longer hair and Elizabeth has yet to betray Ross by boo-ing up with his cousin while he's trying to survive a war.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Agatha tells everyone she's going to outlive them all (a prophecy I'd gladly get behind). For a seer, she really sucks at predicting the future. Blame the port, I guess.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107540\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/agatha-wine-port-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"250\" height=\"188\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A bewigged, fashionably late Ross arrives and makes an announcement:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Hey, ladies and germs! I just enlisted to check out that little scuffle over in America. I think it'll be pretty chill. Six months tops! Definitely not an eight-year-long bloodbath! And there's probably no chance that I'll have to watch all my friends die, get a huge scar on the side of my face and get unceremoniously dumped by my girlfriend while I'm away!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speak of the devil, Elizabeth waltzes in and drools all over Ross. Francis looks on like a weirdo:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107470\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-francis-gif-agatha.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"269\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's like he's an extra-terrestrial trying out this smiling thing for the first time. Awkward face muscles aside, can we take a moment to appreciate how into hand kisses Agatha is in the background? Such a legend! The show hasn't been the same without her and her cute, prolonged farts.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty/status/916919639166246912\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Agatha pulls a card while staring at Elizabeth. \"She'll break a few hearts and bear beautiful children.\" True on the first count. Might want to check again on the second. No offense, but I would not call Duke of Puking in Random Corners Geoffrey Charles beautiful. And the jury's still out on Malfoy's gestating spawn.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107569\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ugly-baby.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"230\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Verity, perpetually the accidental sh*t-stirrer, asks, \"But who will be their father?\" Francis shares a look with Malfoy and ventures a guess: \"Well, not us, at any rate. It's always been Ross. It will always be Ross.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Wrong again! The answer we were looking for is: She will have a kid with each of you in the messiest Jerry Springer way possible.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107570\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/jerry-springer-pregnant-fight.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"397\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Boom! We're back in 1799! Thanks to drunk ass Geoffrey Charles blurting out how obvious it is that Valentine is Ross' kid, Elizabeth needs to re-convince Malfoy that the only reason Valentine was born suspiciously early is because premature babies are her thing. Under a pseudonym, she seeks the help of a shady doctor, who gives her a Premie Potion. A spoonful will make that baby pop right on out. Sounds totally safe! Good luck with that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, little-eared Horace (and Blondie) convince Ross to return to Cornwall with them so that he can apologize to Demelza for all the victim-blaming and groin-shooting he got up to last episode.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107477 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"269\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the carriage ride, a worried Horace (and Blondie) look on as Ross relives the duel drama in a daydream.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107476\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-blondie.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"269\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But this time, instead of Sir Scam-A-Lot, he shoots Prison Bestie! Give it a rest, Ross! The poor horny poet is long dead! So he had sand-dune sex with your wife! It happens! Get over it in the same way you expected Demelza to get over your own infidelity (not to mention, your love child)!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107541\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/end-of-rant-mic-drop.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"280\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Cornwall, Drake visits the cave he and Morwenna used to make out in and makes a wish.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Are you there, God? It's me, \u003cdel>Margaret\u003c/del> Drake, Sam's brother... you know, the guy who's so obsessed with you that you had to get a restraining order against him. Yeah, him! Anyway, could you cure Morwenna's PTSD so we can know something other than misery? Also, while I'm asking for things, could you inspire these haters to stop trying to murder me and burn down my barns? Thanks in advance! TTYL!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>All of a sudden, a whimper echoes around the make-out cave. It's Morwenna! And she's running away from Drake because that's her thing now (it's important to cultivate a personal brand).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Drake eventually catches up with her on a cliff's edge, the second most popular place to have really emotional and dramatic conversations (#1 is obviously beside crashing waves).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Drake:\u003c/strong> \"Morwenna! I made a wish! The same wish.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107542\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/kristin-wiig-face.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"269\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Morwenna:\u003c/strong> \"It will never be granted! I told you why!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107543\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/kristin-wiig-ooo.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"269\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Drake:\u003c/strong> \"And yet, do ye not think there not be more to life than carnal love? Just being together? Seeing together? All that's good and pure and rare and beautiful in the world? The glow of corn and the smell of spring? Summer rain? Autumn wind? Watching you wake, watching you sleep? Oh, my love, what is life if ye live it alone? Marry me. Be my wife. In name only. I'll never ask ye for more. Do ye not love me?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107544\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/kristin-wiig-face-reaction.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"269\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Morwenna:\u003c/strong> \"Of course I love you. This has never been just about love.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Drake:\u003c/strong> \"But it has. And can only ever be. Will ye walk with me?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107547 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/kristin-wiig-laughing.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"269\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And then she does!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107546\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/giphy-5.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"269\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Drake and Morwenna find Demelza and tell her they plan to wed!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-10620\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2014/01/kristen-wiig-crying.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"166\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Merch line is back on! It's finally happening!!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106868\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/drake-tea-set-poldark.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"620\" height=\"526\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/drake-tea-set-poldark.jpg 620w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/drake-tea-set-poldark-160x136.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/drake-tea-set-poldark-240x204.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/drake-tea-set-poldark-375x318.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/drake-tea-set-poldark-520x441.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 620px) 100vw, 620px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106899\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/sheets.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"375\" height=\"452\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/sheets.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/sheets-160x193.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/sheets-240x289.jpg 240w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 375px) 100vw, 375px\"> \u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106886\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swimsuit.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"742\" height=\"678\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swimsuit.png 742w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swimsuit-160x146.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swimsuit-240x219.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swimsuit-375x343.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swimsuit-520x475.png 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 742px) 100vw, 742px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106900\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1020x1020.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"640\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1020x1020.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-160x160.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-800x800.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-768x768.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1180x1180.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-960x960.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-240x240.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-375x375.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-520x520.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-50x50.jpg 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-150x150.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the opposite end of the happiness spectrum, Malfoy, Elizabeth and Valentine are sharing a miserable carriage ride back to Cornwall. Valentine asks for a horse (so relatable). Malfoy glares at Valentine (now Ross Jr. in his eyes) and gives him the silent treatment. A totally normal thing for an adult man to do. Babies and grown-ups alike drop dead like flies pretty much every episode. Why isn't it ever Malfoy's turn??\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107548\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/i-hate-waiting.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The following day, Elizabeth hears of Morwenna's attempt at finally being happy and rushes over to make her feel bad about it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Elizabeth:\u003c/strong> \"But your child! How could you bring yourself to leave him?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Morwenna:\u003c/strong> \"He was taken from me, as much was taken from me.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elizabeth remembers, \u003cem>Ohhhh yeah, I totally forgot about selling my own cousin into an abusive marriage against her will and about how she was raped a bunch and then almost committed to an insane asylum!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If only there was a tutorial out there that could help bad people stay on top of their evil deeds.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107532\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-for-dummies-1020x1275.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"800\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-for-dummies-1020x1275.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-for-dummies-160x200.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-for-dummies-800x1000.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-for-dummies-768x960.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-for-dummies-960x1200.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-for-dummies-240x300.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-for-dummies-375x469.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-for-dummies-520x650.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-for-dummies.jpg 1103w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Since involving herself in Morwenna's last marriage turned out so great, Elizabeth tries to convince Morwenna to get married at Malfoy's house. It makes perfect sense for Drake to get hitched in the home of the man who's been continuously trying to have him killed for the past several years.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Morwenna gives Elizabeth an are-you-fing-kidding-me look and doesn't say anything for a while. I'm guessing Morwenna is taking the time to weigh the pros and cons of grabbing a candlestick and thwacking her no-good cousin over the head with it. Instead, Morwenna swallows all of Elizabeth's BS and gets manipulated into walking her all the way home. I preferred the death-by-Lumiere option, but that's just me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When they get there, Elizabeth pressures Morwenna to come inside. Is Liz going to trap Morwenna in a bunker for a decade, after which Morwenna will be rescued, move to New York City and star in a silly Netflix series about reacclimating to a brave new world?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107550\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/unbreakable-morwenna-kimmy-1020x766.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"481\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/unbreakable-morwenna-kimmy-1020x766.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/unbreakable-morwenna-kimmy-160x120.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/unbreakable-morwenna-kimmy-800x601.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/unbreakable-morwenna-kimmy-768x577.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/unbreakable-morwenna-kimmy-1200x902.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/unbreakable-morwenna-kimmy-1180x887.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/unbreakable-morwenna-kimmy-960x721.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/unbreakable-morwenna-kimmy-240x180.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/unbreakable-morwenna-kimmy-375x282.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/unbreakable-morwenna-kimmy-520x391.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/unbreakable-morwenna-kimmy.jpg 1737w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I would watch.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Against her better judgment, Morwenna stays for dinner, only to have Malfoy come home in a terrible mood. Since Geoffrey Charles already burst into the room and blurted out pot-stirring info last episode, this time it's Valentine's turn. \u003cem>Fake papa, did you know Morwenna is getting married?!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy asks a maid to take \"that child\" away and doesn't waste any time calling Morwenna a trollop and throwing her out of the house. Elizabeth is too busy acting surprised to stop any of it. Drop the act, sister! It's tired! Your husband is evil! And you are complicit! Accept it!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107551\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/annoying.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"230\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>By this point, word has gotten around that Elizabeth cousin-napped Morwenna, so Ross gallops off to rescue her. She's gone by the time he arrives, but that doesn't stop Malfoy from calling Ross inside because he lives for the drama and shouting about what a \"dim-witted trull\" Morwenna is. Again, Elizabeth acts surprised by how evil Malfoy is. She's giving me a headache!!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107553\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/new-york-pollard-headache-migraine-rub-head.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"240\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Then Malfoy threatens to shoot Ross on the spot if he comes over ever again. Is Lil Malfoy that small? The insecurity! Geez!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The last time these two were together, Malfoy used Ross' face as a coin slot, and now this? Ross has HAD IT.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107554\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/iva-had-it-officially-ross-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"280\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross lays it all out: \u003cem>Dude, you live in my family home, you stole my mine, you tried forcing me into bankruptcy, you encouraged a scammer to try date raping my wife and you married the ex I will never get over. And all because I put a frog in your pants two decades ago?! What more do you want?? Why isn't all this enough?!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy responds by throwing yet another Veruca Salt-sized temper tantrum. Maid, can you take this child away too? Thank you next.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107555\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/malfoy-george-poldark-bad-egg.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"334\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because this show never tires of torturing Morwenna, Malfoy's Slytherin cronies are chasing her through the woods with rabid dogs. Enough! Let this girl be happy!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106648\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/leave-morwenna-britney-alone-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"240\" height=\"162\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Just as the Slytherin cronies have Morwenna pinned against a tree, Drake appears, wielding a huge stick that says, NOT TODAY, SATAN! For some reason, the Slytherin cronies back down. I would have preferred some skull-cracking, but this works too.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the manor, Malfoy and Elizabeth fight over Valentine some more. Malfoy says he knows Valentine's not really his son because of what Agatha told him after he canceled her 100th birthday party just to be a prick.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107556\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/agatha.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Such an iconic moment! Almost as iconic as...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107557\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/agatha-gun-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"255\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elizabeth continues to deny it all. And the Oscar for Best Actress in a Hell of Her Own Making goes to...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elizabeth stomps off to her bedroom, where she takes the Premie Potion. Moments later, Malfoy finds her passed out on the ground. We don't get to see her faint this time, but it's safe to assume it was bobble-head-ish.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107128\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/elizabeth-faints-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Horace is posing for a Playpup centerfold.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107533\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-centerfold-1020x600.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"376\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-centerfold-1020x600.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-centerfold-160x94.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-centerfold-800x471.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-centerfold-768x452.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-centerfold-1200x706.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-centerfold-1920x1130.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-centerfold-1180x695.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-centerfold-960x565.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-centerfold-240x141.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-centerfold-375x221.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-centerfold-520x306.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Hair, body, face; triple threat! Those curves! Those gams! So bodacious!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Doc is summoned to Elizabeth's bedside, where she is being as obvious as possible: \u003cem>Wow! It's just like last time! Another premie! What a coincidink! I don't cheat; I just have an inhospitable womb! See? Valentine is your baby (if you squint a lot and ignore all the other obvious signs)!\u003c/em> Malfoy buys it cause he's an idiot.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elizabeth gives birth to a baby girl and names her Urusla because being a Disney villain runs in this family. Malfoy vows to be a better human being and stop treating Valentine like trash. Also, he announces that he found a shady way to force the Prime Minister to recommend him for a knighthood. How nice.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107558\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/eyeroll-drink-nicole-richie.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"540\" height=\"283\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross and Demelza are back on speaking / sexy terms, but not all is forgiven just yet. Spitting strawberries into each other's mouths is still off the menu.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107534\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-nipple-censored-1020x553.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"347\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-nipple-censored-1020x553.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-nipple-censored-160x87.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-nipple-censored-800x434.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-nipple-censored-768x417.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-nipple-censored-1200x651.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-nipple-censored-1920x1041.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-nipple-censored-1180x640.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-nipple-censored-960x521.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-nipple-censored-240x130.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-nipple-censored-375x203.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-nipple-censored-520x282.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because he just can't help himself, Ross brings up Prison Bestie AGAIN (for those keeping track at home, the season total is now at 943). Get a grip, Ross! The poetry wasn't that good! And sand dune sex isn't all it's cracked out to be. Two words: gritty undercarriages.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107559\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/sandy-dog.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"270\" height=\"348\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next morning, Elizabeth wakes up with intense cramps. She asks Malfoy, \"Why is it so dark? I'm afraid of the dark!\" Thumper's mom \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fYngTUZeUQ\">has advised me\u003c/a> not to comment on this.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107571\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/genie_zipper.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Having heard that Elizabeth is ill, Ross rushes over and is promptly denied at the door on Malfoy's order. Ross breaks in anyway and implores Malfoy to quit being such a little sh*t. That's when Malfoy very flippantly announces: \u003cem>Oh, by the way, Elizabeth is totally dead.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107560\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/shocked-owl.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"220\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross hurries to her bedroom and finds that it's true. He kisses her one final time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107377\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/thats-sad-huh-.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"200\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anyone who is a dedicated reader of these recaps knows I do not care for Elizabeth. Just cause she's dead now doesn't erase all the terrible stuff she's done. Not gonna get any real tears from me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107572\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/fake-cry-again.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"336\" height=\"250\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, fine, I'll admit that Valentine grabbing hold of Malfoy's hand while looking at his dead mother did put me in my feeling just a wee bit, but it's time to snap out of it 'cause we are being graced with the last Horace scene of the season!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107562 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ebony-antm-fake-crying.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"220\" height=\"164\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I know there are more serious issues at hand right now, but can someone please let Horace down? (Watch the bottom left corner.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107538 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-cant-get-down.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"265\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Jumping off of furniture is beneath someone of his social standing!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107537 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-looking.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"265\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At a cliff's edge, Ross tells Demelza that Elizabeth is dead. She acts concerned, but we all know what's she's really thinking:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107044\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/oh-and-demelza-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Moral of the story: if you and your hot husband cheat on each other, both of your affair partners will end up dead in no time. Adultery kills!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's time for the season's final fireplace couple's therapy session. Ross brings up Prison Bestie yet again (updated count: 944) and Demelza does her best to put his jealousy to bed: \"Prison Bestie did touch my heart \u003cdel>and a few other things\u003c/del>, but only you have ever owned it.\" Aw, that's nice. \u003cem>Prudie, fetch the strawberries! We've got some sexy baby bird feeding to do! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because I would revolt without it, the writers FINALLY LET DRAKE AND MORWENNA GET MARRIED!!!!!!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-7660\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/08/tumblr_inline_mrual4lQ0P1qz4rgp.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"195\" height=\"130\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107563\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/excited-kid.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"322\" height=\"242\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107564 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/celebrate.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"360\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And not a moment too soon! I can finally exhale now.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While everyone celebrates mere feet away, Malfoy stares at Elizabeth's grave while plotting another season worth of evil shenanigans. But I'm not going to worry about any of that now. I've got better things to do, mainly putting on my official Morwennake one-piece bathing suit and then giving myself a manicure using the official Drakenna nail clipper, while sipping tea out of the official Morwennake tea set, before going to bed wrapped in the official Drakenna comforter.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Elizabeth.\u003c/strong> I could pretend that I care that she's dead, but y'all would know I was faking. I have two parting messages for Elizabeth. The first: TTYN. And the last:\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=heLL1ExEzQA\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: Prison Bestie\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">. \u003c/span>\u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Even in death, he and his horny poetry continued to define this season. As Beyonce says, \"You know you that b*tch when you cause all this conversation.\"\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Drake and Morwenna. \u003c/strong>Neither of them died, despite everyone's best efforts! Huzzah! And the future of my Drakenna / Morwennake merch line looks bright! Refrigerators, toilet plungers, neck tattoos. Sky's the limit!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: Agatha. \u003c/strong>She was in the episode for approximately 42 seconds, but 42 seconds of Agatha is greater than 42 minutes of most of these other characters. A true legend. I hope there's a lot of port in heaven.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: \u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>Horace. \u003c/strong>Scene-stealer. Heart-breaker. The only character worthy of a knighthood.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That’s all, folks! It’s been a pleasure watching along with you this season. Until next year (or until \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/victoria\">my \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> start back up again in January, if you're into that sort of thing)!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105809/poldark-season-4-episode-7-recap-london-calling\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 7 Recap: London Calling\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105807/poldark-season-4-episode-6-recap-mo-money-mo-problems\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 6 Recap: Mo Money Mo Problems\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105805/poldark-season-4-episode-5-recap-no-tears-left-to-cry\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 5 Recap: No Tears Left To Cry\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105803/poldark-season-4-episode-4-recap-cry-me-a-river\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 4 Recap: Cry Me A River\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105795/poldark-season-4-episode-3-recap-homeward-bound\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 3 Recap: Homeward Bound\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105791/poldark-season-4-episode-2-recap-ready-to-run\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 2 Recap: Ready to Run\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105789/poldark-season-4-premiere-recap-you-keep-me-hangin-on\">'Poldark' Season 4 Premiere Recap: You Keep Me Hangin' On\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/96601/poldark-season-3-finale-recap-look-what-you-made-me-do\">'Poldark' Season 3 Finale Recap: Look What You Made Me Do\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/13/poldark-season-3-episode-7-recap-i-wanna-sex-you-up/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: I Wanna Sex You Up\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/05/poldark-season-3-episode-6-recap-you-give-love-a-bad-name/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: You Give Love A Bad Name\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/29/poldark-season-3-episode-5-recap-the-one-that-got-away/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: The One That Got Away\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: Break Free\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin’ Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>In\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105809/poldark-season-4-episode-7-recap-london-calling\"> the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Ross murdered Demelza's wannabe date rapist by shooting him in the groin. My calves are still aching from all the dancing I did on his grave.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107376\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/elaine-seinfeld-dance-graves.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"458\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Will the \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> writers hand over the Drake and Morwenna wedding we deserve so I can keep my leg muscles toned? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tarot Card Agatha is celebrating her birthda.... wait, what the hell is going on?! She's supposed to be dead! Francis (a.k.a. Backstabber Cousin) is there too, despite being murdered by a puddle a while ago. You remember:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107469\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drowning-puddle-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"214\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Is this purgatory?! Alas, no, it's just a flashback to 1780. All the boys have longer hair and Elizabeth has yet to betray Ross by boo-ing up with his cousin while he's trying to survive a war.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Agatha tells everyone she's going to outlive them all (a prophecy I'd gladly get behind). For a seer, she really sucks at predicting the future. Blame the port, I guess.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107540\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/agatha-wine-port-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"250\" height=\"188\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A bewigged, fashionably late Ross arrives and makes an announcement:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Hey, ladies and germs! I just enlisted to check out that little scuffle over in America. I think it'll be pretty chill. Six months tops! Definitely not an eight-year-long bloodbath! And there's probably no chance that I'll have to watch all my friends die, get a huge scar on the side of my face and get unceremoniously dumped by my girlfriend while I'm away!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speak of the devil, Elizabeth waltzes in and drools all over Ross. Francis looks on like a weirdo:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107470\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-francis-gif-agatha.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"269\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's like he's an extra-terrestrial trying out this smiling thing for the first time. Awkward face muscles aside, can we take a moment to appreciate how into hand kisses Agatha is in the background? Such a legend! The show hasn't been the same without her and her cute, prolonged farts.\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\n\u003cp>Agatha pulls a card while staring at Elizabeth. \"She'll break a few hearts and bear beautiful children.\" True on the first count. Might want to check again on the second. No offense, but I would not call Duke of Puking in Random Corners Geoffrey Charles beautiful. And the jury's still out on Malfoy's gestating spawn.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107569\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ugly-baby.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"230\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Verity, perpetually the accidental sh*t-stirrer, asks, \"But who will be their father?\" Francis shares a look with Malfoy and ventures a guess: \"Well, not us, at any rate. It's always been Ross. It will always be Ross.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Wrong again! The answer we were looking for is: She will have a kid with each of you in the messiest Jerry Springer way possible.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107570\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/jerry-springer-pregnant-fight.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"397\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Boom! We're back in 1799! Thanks to drunk ass Geoffrey Charles blurting out how obvious it is that Valentine is Ross' kid, Elizabeth needs to re-convince Malfoy that the only reason Valentine was born suspiciously early is because premature babies are her thing. Under a pseudonym, she seeks the help of a shady doctor, who gives her a Premie Potion. A spoonful will make that baby pop right on out. Sounds totally safe! Good luck with that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, little-eared Horace (and Blondie) convince Ross to return to Cornwall with them so that he can apologize to Demelza for all the victim-blaming and groin-shooting he got up to last episode.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107477 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"269\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the carriage ride, a worried Horace (and Blondie) look on as Ross relives the duel drama in a daydream.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107476\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-blondie.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"269\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But this time, instead of Sir Scam-A-Lot, he shoots Prison Bestie! Give it a rest, Ross! The poor horny poet is long dead! So he had sand-dune sex with your wife! It happens! Get over it in the same way you expected Demelza to get over your own infidelity (not to mention, your love child)!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107541\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/end-of-rant-mic-drop.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"280\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In Cornwall, Drake visits the cave he and Morwenna used to make out in and makes a wish.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Are you there, God? It's me, \u003cdel>Margaret\u003c/del> Drake, Sam's brother... you know, the guy who's so obsessed with you that you had to get a restraining order against him. Yeah, him! Anyway, could you cure Morwenna's PTSD so we can know something other than misery? Also, while I'm asking for things, could you inspire these haters to stop trying to murder me and burn down my barns? Thanks in advance! TTYL!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>All of a sudden, a whimper echoes around the make-out cave. It's Morwenna! And she's running away from Drake because that's her thing now (it's important to cultivate a personal brand).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Drake eventually catches up with her on a cliff's edge, the second most popular place to have really emotional and dramatic conversations (#1 is obviously beside crashing waves).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Drake:\u003c/strong> \"Morwenna! I made a wish! The same wish.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107542\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/kristin-wiig-face.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"269\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Morwenna:\u003c/strong> \"It will never be granted! I told you why!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107543\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/kristin-wiig-ooo.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"269\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Drake:\u003c/strong> \"And yet, do ye not think there not be more to life than carnal love? Just being together? Seeing together? All that's good and pure and rare and beautiful in the world? The glow of corn and the smell of spring? Summer rain? Autumn wind? Watching you wake, watching you sleep? Oh, my love, what is life if ye live it alone? Marry me. Be my wife. In name only. I'll never ask ye for more. Do ye not love me?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107544\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/kristin-wiig-face-reaction.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"269\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Morwenna:\u003c/strong> \"Of course I love you. This has never been just about love.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Drake:\u003c/strong> \"But it has. And can only ever be. Will ye walk with me?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107547 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/kristin-wiig-laughing.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"269\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And then she does!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107546\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/giphy-5.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"269\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Drake and Morwenna find Demelza and tell her they plan to wed!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-10620\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2014/01/kristen-wiig-crying.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"166\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Merch line is back on! It's finally happening!!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106868\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/drake-tea-set-poldark.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"620\" height=\"526\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/drake-tea-set-poldark.jpg 620w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/drake-tea-set-poldark-160x136.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/drake-tea-set-poldark-240x204.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/drake-tea-set-poldark-375x318.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/drake-tea-set-poldark-520x441.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 620px) 100vw, 620px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106899\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/sheets.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"375\" height=\"452\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/sheets.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/sheets-160x193.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/sheets-240x289.jpg 240w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 375px) 100vw, 375px\"> \u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106886\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swimsuit.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"742\" height=\"678\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swimsuit.png 742w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swimsuit-160x146.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swimsuit-240x219.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swimsuit-375x343.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swimsuit-520x475.png 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 742px) 100vw, 742px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106900\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1020x1020.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"640\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1020x1020.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-160x160.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-800x800.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-768x768.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1180x1180.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-960x960.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-240x240.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-375x375.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-520x520.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-50x50.jpg 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-150x150.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the opposite end of the happiness spectrum, Malfoy, Elizabeth and Valentine are sharing a miserable carriage ride back to Cornwall. Valentine asks for a horse (so relatable). Malfoy glares at Valentine (now Ross Jr. in his eyes) and gives him the silent treatment. A totally normal thing for an adult man to do. Babies and grown-ups alike drop dead like flies pretty much every episode. Why isn't it ever Malfoy's turn??\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107548\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/i-hate-waiting.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The following day, Elizabeth hears of Morwenna's attempt at finally being happy and rushes over to make her feel bad about it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Elizabeth:\u003c/strong> \"But your child! How could you bring yourself to leave him?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Morwenna:\u003c/strong> \"He was taken from me, as much was taken from me.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elizabeth remembers, \u003cem>Ohhhh yeah, I totally forgot about selling my own cousin into an abusive marriage against her will and about how she was raped a bunch and then almost committed to an insane asylum!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If only there was a tutorial out there that could help bad people stay on top of their evil deeds.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107532\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-for-dummies-1020x1275.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"800\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-for-dummies-1020x1275.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-for-dummies-160x200.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-for-dummies-800x1000.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-for-dummies-768x960.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-for-dummies-960x1200.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-for-dummies-240x300.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-for-dummies-375x469.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-for-dummies-520x650.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-for-dummies.jpg 1103w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Since involving herself in Morwenna's last marriage turned out so great, Elizabeth tries to convince Morwenna to get married at Malfoy's house. It makes perfect sense for Drake to get hitched in the home of the man who's been continuously trying to have him killed for the past several years.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Morwenna gives Elizabeth an are-you-fing-kidding-me look and doesn't say anything for a while. I'm guessing Morwenna is taking the time to weigh the pros and cons of grabbing a candlestick and thwacking her no-good cousin over the head with it. Instead, Morwenna swallows all of Elizabeth's BS and gets manipulated into walking her all the way home. I preferred the death-by-Lumiere option, but that's just me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When they get there, Elizabeth pressures Morwenna to come inside. Is Liz going to trap Morwenna in a bunker for a decade, after which Morwenna will be rescued, move to New York City and star in a silly Netflix series about reacclimating to a brave new world?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107550\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/unbreakable-morwenna-kimmy-1020x766.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"481\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/unbreakable-morwenna-kimmy-1020x766.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/unbreakable-morwenna-kimmy-160x120.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/unbreakable-morwenna-kimmy-800x601.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/unbreakable-morwenna-kimmy-768x577.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/unbreakable-morwenna-kimmy-1200x902.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/unbreakable-morwenna-kimmy-1180x887.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/unbreakable-morwenna-kimmy-960x721.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/unbreakable-morwenna-kimmy-240x180.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/unbreakable-morwenna-kimmy-375x282.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/unbreakable-morwenna-kimmy-520x391.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/unbreakable-morwenna-kimmy.jpg 1737w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I would watch.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Against her better judgment, Morwenna stays for dinner, only to have Malfoy come home in a terrible mood. Since Geoffrey Charles already burst into the room and blurted out pot-stirring info last episode, this time it's Valentine's turn. \u003cem>Fake papa, did you know Morwenna is getting married?!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy asks a maid to take \"that child\" away and doesn't waste any time calling Morwenna a trollop and throwing her out of the house. Elizabeth is too busy acting surprised to stop any of it. Drop the act, sister! It's tired! Your husband is evil! And you are complicit! Accept it!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107551\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/annoying.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"230\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>By this point, word has gotten around that Elizabeth cousin-napped Morwenna, so Ross gallops off to rescue her. She's gone by the time he arrives, but that doesn't stop Malfoy from calling Ross inside because he lives for the drama and shouting about what a \"dim-witted trull\" Morwenna is. Again, Elizabeth acts surprised by how evil Malfoy is. She's giving me a headache!!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107553\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/new-york-pollard-headache-migraine-rub-head.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"240\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Then Malfoy threatens to shoot Ross on the spot if he comes over ever again. Is Lil Malfoy that small? The insecurity! Geez!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The last time these two were together, Malfoy used Ross' face as a coin slot, and now this? Ross has HAD IT.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107554\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/iva-had-it-officially-ross-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"280\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross lays it all out: \u003cem>Dude, you live in my family home, you stole my mine, you tried forcing me into bankruptcy, you encouraged a scammer to try date raping my wife and you married the ex I will never get over. And all because I put a frog in your pants two decades ago?! What more do you want?? Why isn't all this enough?!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy responds by throwing yet another Veruca Salt-sized temper tantrum. Maid, can you take this child away too? Thank you next.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107555\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/malfoy-george-poldark-bad-egg.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"334\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because this show never tires of torturing Morwenna, Malfoy's Slytherin cronies are chasing her through the woods with rabid dogs. Enough! Let this girl be happy!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106648\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/leave-morwenna-britney-alone-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"240\" height=\"162\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Just as the Slytherin cronies have Morwenna pinned against a tree, Drake appears, wielding a huge stick that says, NOT TODAY, SATAN! For some reason, the Slytherin cronies back down. I would have preferred some skull-cracking, but this works too.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the manor, Malfoy and Elizabeth fight over Valentine some more. Malfoy says he knows Valentine's not really his son because of what Agatha told him after he canceled her 100th birthday party just to be a prick.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107556\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/agatha.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Such an iconic moment! Almost as iconic as...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107557\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/agatha-gun-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"255\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elizabeth continues to deny it all. And the Oscar for Best Actress in a Hell of Her Own Making goes to...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elizabeth stomps off to her bedroom, where she takes the Premie Potion. Moments later, Malfoy finds her passed out on the ground. We don't get to see her faint this time, but it's safe to assume it was bobble-head-ish.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107128\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/elizabeth-faints-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Horace is posing for a Playpup centerfold.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107533\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-centerfold-1020x600.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"376\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-centerfold-1020x600.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-centerfold-160x94.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-centerfold-800x471.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-centerfold-768x452.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-centerfold-1200x706.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-centerfold-1920x1130.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-centerfold-1180x695.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-centerfold-960x565.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-centerfold-240x141.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-centerfold-375x221.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-centerfold-520x306.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Hair, body, face; triple threat! Those curves! Those gams! So bodacious!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Doc is summoned to Elizabeth's bedside, where she is being as obvious as possible: \u003cem>Wow! It's just like last time! Another premie! What a coincidink! I don't cheat; I just have an inhospitable womb! See? Valentine is your baby (if you squint a lot and ignore all the other obvious signs)!\u003c/em> Malfoy buys it cause he's an idiot.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elizabeth gives birth to a baby girl and names her Urusla because being a Disney villain runs in this family. Malfoy vows to be a better human being and stop treating Valentine like trash. Also, he announces that he found a shady way to force the Prime Minister to recommend him for a knighthood. How nice.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107558\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/eyeroll-drink-nicole-richie.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"540\" height=\"283\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross and Demelza are back on speaking / sexy terms, but not all is forgiven just yet. Spitting strawberries into each other's mouths is still off the menu.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107534\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-nipple-censored-1020x553.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"347\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-nipple-censored-1020x553.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-nipple-censored-160x87.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-nipple-censored-800x434.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-nipple-censored-768x417.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-nipple-censored-1200x651.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-nipple-censored-1920x1041.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-nipple-censored-1180x640.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-nipple-censored-960x521.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-nipple-censored-240x130.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-nipple-censored-375x203.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-nipple-censored-520x282.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because he just can't help himself, Ross brings up Prison Bestie AGAIN (for those keeping track at home, the season total is now at 943). Get a grip, Ross! The poetry wasn't that good! And sand dune sex isn't all it's cracked out to be. Two words: gritty undercarriages.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107559\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/sandy-dog.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"270\" height=\"348\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next morning, Elizabeth wakes up with intense cramps. She asks Malfoy, \"Why is it so dark? I'm afraid of the dark!\" Thumper's mom \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fYngTUZeUQ\">has advised me\u003c/a> not to comment on this.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107571\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/genie_zipper.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Having heard that Elizabeth is ill, Ross rushes over and is promptly denied at the door on Malfoy's order. Ross breaks in anyway and implores Malfoy to quit being such a little sh*t. That's when Malfoy very flippantly announces: \u003cem>Oh, by the way, Elizabeth is totally dead.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107560\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/shocked-owl.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"220\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross hurries to her bedroom and finds that it's true. He kisses her one final time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107377\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/thats-sad-huh-.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"200\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anyone who is a dedicated reader of these recaps knows I do not care for Elizabeth. Just cause she's dead now doesn't erase all the terrible stuff she's done. Not gonna get any real tears from me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107572\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/fake-cry-again.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"336\" height=\"250\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, fine, I'll admit that Valentine grabbing hold of Malfoy's hand while looking at his dead mother did put me in my feeling just a wee bit, but it's time to snap out of it 'cause we are being graced with the last Horace scene of the season!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107562 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ebony-antm-fake-crying.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"220\" height=\"164\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I know there are more serious issues at hand right now, but can someone please let Horace down? (Watch the bottom left corner.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107538 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-cant-get-down.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"265\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Jumping off of furniture is beneath someone of his social standing!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107537 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-looking.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"265\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At a cliff's edge, Ross tells Demelza that Elizabeth is dead. She acts concerned, but we all know what's she's really thinking:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107044\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/oh-and-demelza-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Moral of the story: if you and your hot husband cheat on each other, both of your affair partners will end up dead in no time. Adultery kills!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's time for the season's final fireplace couple's therapy session. Ross brings up Prison Bestie yet again (updated count: 944) and Demelza does her best to put his jealousy to bed: \"Prison Bestie did touch my heart \u003cdel>and a few other things\u003c/del>, but only you have ever owned it.\" Aw, that's nice. \u003cem>Prudie, fetch the strawberries! We've got some sexy baby bird feeding to do! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because I would revolt without it, the writers FINALLY LET DRAKE AND MORWENNA GET MARRIED!!!!!!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-7660\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2013/08/tumblr_inline_mrual4lQ0P1qz4rgp.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"195\" height=\"130\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107563\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/excited-kid.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"322\" height=\"242\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107564 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/celebrate.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"360\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And not a moment too soon! I can finally exhale now.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While everyone celebrates mere feet away, Malfoy stares at Elizabeth's grave while plotting another season worth of evil shenanigans. But I'm not going to worry about any of that now. I've got better things to do, mainly putting on my official Morwennake one-piece bathing suit and then giving myself a manicure using the official Drakenna nail clipper, while sipping tea out of the official Morwennake tea set, before going to bed wrapped in the official Drakenna comforter.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Elizabeth.\u003c/strong> I could pretend that I care that she's dead, but y'all would know I was faking. I have two parting messages for Elizabeth. The first: TTYN. And the last:\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/heLL1ExEzQA'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/heLL1ExEzQA'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: Prison Bestie\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">. \u003c/span>\u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Even in death, he and his horny poetry continued to define this season. As Beyonce says, \"You know you that b*tch when you cause all this conversation.\"\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Drake and Morwenna. \u003c/strong>Neither of them died, despite everyone's best efforts! Huzzah! And the future of my Drakenna / Morwennake merch line looks bright! Refrigerators, toilet plungers, neck tattoos. Sky's the limit!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: Agatha. \u003c/strong>She was in the episode for approximately 42 seconds, but 42 seconds of Agatha is greater than 42 minutes of most of these other characters. A true legend. I hope there's a lot of port in heaven.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: \u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>Horace. \u003c/strong>Scene-stealer. Heart-breaker. The only character worthy of a knighthood.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That’s all, folks! It’s been a pleasure watching along with you this season. Until next year (or until \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/victoria\">my \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> start back up again in January, if you're into that sort of thing)!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105809/poldark-season-4-episode-7-recap-london-calling\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 7 Recap: London Calling\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105807/poldark-season-4-episode-6-recap-mo-money-mo-problems\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 6 Recap: Mo Money Mo Problems\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105805/poldark-season-4-episode-5-recap-no-tears-left-to-cry\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 5 Recap: No Tears Left To Cry\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105803/poldark-season-4-episode-4-recap-cry-me-a-river\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 4 Recap: Cry Me A River\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105795/poldark-season-4-episode-3-recap-homeward-bound\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 3 Recap: Homeward Bound\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105791/poldark-season-4-episode-2-recap-ready-to-run\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 2 Recap: Ready to Run\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105789/poldark-season-4-premiere-recap-you-keep-me-hangin-on\">'Poldark' Season 4 Premiere Recap: You Keep Me Hangin' On\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/96601/poldark-season-3-finale-recap-look-what-you-made-me-do\">'Poldark' Season 3 Finale Recap: Look What You Made Me Do\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/13/poldark-season-3-episode-7-recap-i-wanna-sex-you-up/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: I Wanna Sex You Up\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/05/poldark-season-3-episode-6-recap-you-give-love-a-bad-name/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: You Give Love A Bad Name\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/29/poldark-season-3-episode-5-recap-the-one-that-got-away/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: The One That Got Away\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: Break Free\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 7 Recap: London Calling",
"title": "'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 7 Recap: London Calling",
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"content": "\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105807/poldark-season-4-episode-6-recap-mo-money-mo-problems\">the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Elizabeth and Morwenna both realized they were carrying demonic embryos. Will they pose for an \u003cem>OMG-we're-both-preggers-at-the-same-time\u003c/em> photoshoot like Khloe Kardashian and Kylie Jenner?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107331\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/khloe-kylie-pregnant-morwenna-elizabeth.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"516\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/khloe-kylie-pregnant-morwenna-elizabeth.jpg 615w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/khloe-kylie-pregnant-morwenna-elizabeth-160x206.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/khloe-kylie-pregnant-morwenna-elizabeth-240x309.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/khloe-kylie-pregnant-morwenna-elizabeth-375x484.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/khloe-kylie-pregnant-morwenna-elizabeth-520x671.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We pick up right where we left off: with Ross and Demelza mid-coitus on the floor of their London sex den. They take turns spitting strawberries into each other's mouths.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107332\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/strawberry-spit.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Is there anything that could ruin the sexual healing mood?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yes, there is, and it's this line from Demelza:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Do you wish the children were here?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107348\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/shrink-sign-language.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"268\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross is like, \u003cem>Um, not so much! My twig and berries are literally out right now. The fact that we leave the kids at home all the time and ignore them when we're actually around is enough fodder for their future therapy sessions, let's not add witnessing their parents boink to the list.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza continues to, um, deflate the situation, with this line: \"Well, at this rate, we'll be soon adding to their number.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>No more pregnancies!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This isn't PBS' \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/victoria\">Victoria\u003c/a>\u003c/em>!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Just have filthy floorboard sex and let that be enough!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Swim slower, Ross' sperm!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Be more standoffish, Demelza's ovaries!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107349\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/NO-MORE-KIDS.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"269\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Malfoy shows off the new mansion he bought with blood money and announces he will host a masked ball so that Geoffrey Charles and all the other rich Londoners have another opportunity to puke all over the place.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elizabeth tries to slow his roll a little bit: \"My dear, recollect how many times your invitations have not found the favor they deserve.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Translation: You are a social pariah and absolutely no one wants to willingly party with you.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy agrees that everyone hates his guts, but adds he plans to make it a charity event so everyone shows up out of pity.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The entire time this conversation is happening, poor little Valentine is in the corner silently playing on a huge rocking horse. #OnlyChildProblems\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Compare and contrast:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107333\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/rocking-horse.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107335\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/seesaw-valentine-lonely-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"367\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At a daytime rave, Demelza is delighted by all the razzmatazz London has to offer. Somehow, she doesn't notice the best and cutest guest at the party:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107336\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/monkey-cute-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I want to know this monkey's name and what she's munching on and what her favorite color is! (If I had to guess I'd say Curious Georgina, watermelon Bubblicious gum and aquamarine.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Moments later, Horace the Pug catches me checking out a cute \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> animal that isn't him. My bad! Behold the one and only king of my heart:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107337\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-cutie-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Such a heartthrob! What monkey?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Ross and Demelza's sex den, Demelza says she's tuckered out from all the sight-seeing and is going to take a nap. Ross seductively asks, \"What if I have other plans for you?\" They proceed to have sex for the 392nd time this week. I hope they tip the hotel maid a pretty penny (pence?) for having to scrub down every surface after they check out. Also, as I said before, PLEASE NO MORE BABIES. JUST SAY NO!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in Cornwall, Drake takes a look at the new barn he's moving into. This one is somehow sadder than the last. Sam offers to help him renovate it. I smell an HGTV spinoff!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107350\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/property-brothers.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"616\" height=\"347\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/property-brothers.jpg 616w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/property-brothers-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/property-brothers-240x135.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/property-brothers-375x211.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/property-brothers-520x293.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 616px) 100vw, 616px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over on Toe Jam Lane, Gross Goblin Mama stands a mere three paces away from Morwenna as she tells a doctor about her plan to lock Morwenna up in a loony bin the second she gives birth to the Anti-Christ. Have you ever seen a face express the feeling of \u003ca href=\"http://onlineslangdictionary.com/meaning-definition-of/fml\">FML\u003c/a> this strongly?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107339\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/fml-morwenna-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Gross Goblin Mama goes on to tell Morwenna that she better have a boy because \"girls are of use to no one.\" Where's Feminist Ross when you need him?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107370\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-poldark-feminist.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"278\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We immediately get our answer. He's at the masked ball! Sir Scam-A-Lot is also in attendance. And he has the hots for Demelza.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sir Scam-A-Lot:\u003c/strong> \"The hair is a touch provincial, but the rest is good.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Malfoy:\u003c/strong> \"Doubtless, she's been dressed in London.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sir Scam-A-Lot:\u003c/strong> \"Then she must be undressed in London.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, don't you worry. She has. Countless times. All over that hotel room.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy eggs Sir Scam-A-Lot on in his attempt to seduce Demelza. His pickup line could use some work:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107340\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-cannibal.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>His next pickup strategy—loudly licking his fingers, making way too much eye contact and showing off coat buttons that contain the hair of men he's murdered in duels—isn't much better.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Then, he looks at Ross and his friend who's a girl and says, \"Delicious body.\" Demelza assumes he's talking about Ross because... well, you've seen the shirtless scything and swimming gifs. Sir Scam-A-Lot clarifies he's objectifying his friend, \"though I venture Poldark's has much to recommend it.\" Damn right it does!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This attempted mating ritual gets more awkward (and more lizardy) by the second:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107342\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/creepy-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Eventually, Sir Scam-A-Lot just comes out and says it. \u003cem>Hey, girl, when can we be alone? I'm interested in date-raping you. \u003c/em>Thankfully, Ross, Blondie and \u003cem>Doc \u003c/em>show up to diffuse the situation. But that doesn't stop Sir Scam-A-Lot and Malfoy from betting on whether he can have sex with Demelza by the end of the week.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ugh, if this episode ends in sexual violence, I am grabbing a pitchfork and marching right up to Masterpiece Theater Headquarters!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>*looks up where that actually is, discovers it's all the way in Virginia*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, fine, I'll email them a pitchfork selfie.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Malfoy is annoyed that he can't bulldoze a poor neighborhood without consequences. Elizabeth offers up a sneakier way to displace all the poor people. Her one-way ticket to hell just got upgraded to first-class.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106667 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/going-to-hell-gif-1.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"460\" height=\"304\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, and in case you were wondering, Valentine is \u003cem>still\u003c/em> rocking on that horse silently in the background.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107383\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/valentine-alone.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"376\" height=\"200\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At yet another party, Sir Scam-A-Lot continues to harass Demelza. His one-liners are somehow getting grosser: \"You have an agile tongue, which I shall know what to do with, in due course.\" Ross has knocked dudes out for way less, so what's the hold up here?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107384\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/what-are-you-waiting-for-i-know-what.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"211\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that night, Ross and Demelza are not having sex for once. Instead, they're arguing over Demelza not doing enough to spurn Sir Scam-A-Lot. What's next, Ross? Her dress was too short? She was asking for it? Don't make me rescind my Feminist Ross animated gif!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Blood Money Mansion, Malfoy brags about blackmailing someone for their vote in Parliament. Elizabeth proudly tells Valentine how clever his fake dad is, but Val is too busy playing solitaire (no, really, that's not a joke) to respond.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Demelza confides in Doc and Blondie about Ross' jealousy. The gang is too distracted by dumb drama to recognize Curious Georgina's cuteness. Literally everyone else is rubber-necking to gaze at the adorable legend.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107360\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ee.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"532\" height=\"435\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ee.png 532w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ee-160x131.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ee-240x196.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ee-375x307.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ee-520x425.png 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 532px) 100vw, 532px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Demelza returns to her hotel room, Sir Scam-A-Lot is creepily waiting. He goes from zero to date rapist in no time at all, blocking the exit and saying gross things like, \"Tell me. Do you cry out when a man takes you?\" Demelza, grab a candlestick! It's the murder weapon du \u003cdel>jour\u003c/del> Season 4 after all!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107361\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-lumiere-1020x548.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"344\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-lumiere-1020x548.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-lumiere-160x86.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-lumiere-800x430.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-lumiere-768x413.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-lumiere-1200x645.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-lumiere-1920x1032.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-lumiere-1180x634.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-lumiere-960x516.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-lumiere-240x129.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-lumiere-375x202.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-lumiere-520x280.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza has a better idea. Apparently, that white knob rings the innkeeper!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107362\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/saved-by-the-bell-logo.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"378\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On his way out, Sir Scam-A-Lot keeps flapping his gums.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sir Scam-A-Lot:\u003c/strong> \"May I wait on you some other time?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Probably won't ever be in the mood to be raped, so no.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sir Scam-A-Lot:\u003c/strong> \"I see. It's not me you're afraid of but your husband! Does he beat you?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"Frequently.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Well played, Demelza!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107364\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/middle-finger-smile-2.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"499\" height=\"230\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Ross returns home, he's more concerned with what Demelza did to encourage Sir Scam-A-Lot than what Sir Scam-A-Lot attempted to do. Consider the Feminist Ross gif rescinded! WTF. Read a book, dude!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107369\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-poldark-not-feminist.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"278\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Knowing that he needs to start getting back in my good graces, the next day in Parliament, Ross physically accosts Sir Scam-A-Lot for sitting on his gloves and generally being a prick!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107371\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/hit-punch-yas.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"360\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a different note, can we all pitch in to buy this dude a decent lace-front wig? He clearly needs our help.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107372\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/Screen-Shot-2018-11-10-at-2.04.29-PM-1020x1100.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"690\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/Screen-Shot-2018-11-10-at-2.04.29-PM-1020x1100.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/Screen-Shot-2018-11-10-at-2.04.29-PM-160x173.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/Screen-Shot-2018-11-10-at-2.04.29-PM-800x863.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/Screen-Shot-2018-11-10-at-2.04.29-PM-768x829.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/Screen-Shot-2018-11-10-at-2.04.29-PM-960x1036.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/Screen-Shot-2018-11-10-at-2.04.29-PM-240x259.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/Screen-Shot-2018-11-10-at-2.04.29-PM-375x405.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/Screen-Shot-2018-11-10-at-2.04.29-PM-520x561.png 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/Screen-Shot-2018-11-10-at-2.04.29-PM.png 1066w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of hair, Sir Scam-A-Lot wants to murder Ross and make a button out of his curls, so he invites him to a duel. Despite not being a very good shot, Ross agrees because last week's episode was kind of a snooze. They take their paces, fire and both take a hit! Sir Scam-A-Lot nips Ross in the arm. Ross gets him right in the groin. (Nice one, Ross! A few inches over would have been even better!)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross rushes over to help, but Sir Scam-A-Lot isn't very gracious about the whole thing: \"I wish I shot your head off. Damn and blast you to all eternity.\" Then, he passes out. Perhaps forever?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My eulogy for him:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107044\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/oh-and-demelza-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the hotel, Doc pokes into Ross' open wound, which almost causes Demelza to pull a Geoffrey Charles all over the floor:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107373\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/demelza-vomit-puke-.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"266\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There's a knock at the door!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Duels are illegal so it might be the police!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, it's just a letter...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>...saying that Sir Scam-A-Lot croaked!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107376\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/elaine-seinfeld-dance-graves.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"458\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in Cornwall, Morwenna has a miscarriage. I feel very ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ over this turn of events, as does Morwenna.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Gross Goblin Mama:\u003c/strong> \"The doctor believes you have suffered greatly since your miscarriage.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Morwenna:\u003c/strong> \"He's mistaken. I believe it was for the best.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107385\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/no-lies-detected.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"200\" height=\"100\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Drake is working in his new barn when Morwenna shows up!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107386\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/excited-arrested-development.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"275\" height=\"155\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She explains why she keeps shunning him: she can't bear to be touched or kissed or anything else 'cause it'll trigger her PTSD and make her think of being raped by Gross Goblin for years. Then she runs off.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107387\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/sad-frown-baby.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"224\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, over at Blood Money Mansion, while Valentine silently plays with an abacus (LOL), Malfoy tries to think of a way to expose the duel and hopefully get Ross hanged or something. He runs and snitches to the Attorney General, but the AG's response is basically, \u003cem>Get a life, loser.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-35963\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200.gif 200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-32x32.gif 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-50x50.gif 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-64x64.gif 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-96x96.gif 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-128x128.gif 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-150x150.gif 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 200px) 100vw, 200px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The following day, while Valentine again rocks on the horse by himself, Geoffrey Charles serves his function as a mere plot device by bursting in out of nowhere and blurting out how much Valentine looks like Ross. Elizabeth and Malfoy both make this face:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107378\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/shocked-monkey-puppet.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"218\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Blondie and Doc have an entire Horace-centric conversation about their relationship:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Blondie:\u003c/strong> \"Poor Horace wonders why he must be abandoned.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Doc:\u003c/strong> \"Poor Horace knows that I've already stayed longer than intended.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Blondie:\u003c/strong> \"Horace wonders why Doc can't find it in his heart to love London as he does.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Doc:\u003c/strong> \"Horace knows that he and I are different breeds. Perhaps Horace will return to Cornwall sooner than he thought.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Blondie:\u003c/strong> \"Perhaps he will.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107379\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-cutie-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>From now on, Horace is my preferred pronoun. Horace wonders why all episodes can't be about Horace. Horace can't believe there's only one episode left in the season. Horace wonders if you all will come back and read \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/victoria\">\u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> even though there are no cute pugs in that show. Horace is going to get on with the rest of the recap now.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the party grounds, Curious Georgina is nowhere to be found, but the other usual suspects are in attendance. Malfoy stomps past Ross, which reminds Ross that, for some reason, he has to pay Sir Scam-A-Lot's \u003cem>I-bet-I-can-rape-Demelza\u003c/em> wager to Malfoy. Things quickly get out of hand:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107380\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/throw-money-face-fight-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I didn't think anything could top the fight when Malfoy almost gouged Ross' eyes out or the fight when Ross almost roasted Malfoy's entire head in a roaring fireplace, but using someone's face as a coin slot comes pretty close!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elizabeth says, \"I cannot imagine...!\" Girl, quit lying. You know exactly the kind of person you're married to. Heck, you help him enact evil pretty much every episode! And you know exactly why he's pissed, so let's skip the act.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107388\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/shh-youre-getting-on-my-nerves-britney.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next morning, Ross wakes to find a letter from Demelza. It goes a little something like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Oh, hey.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>I'm going home. Feeding each other strawberries like mama birds was fun, but all the sexual harassment, victim-blaming and groin mutilation has gotten to be too much for me. This is where I would write 'I want a divorce' if that was a thing women could ask for in the 18th-century, but instead, I'll say 'See ya when I see ya.'\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Sir Scam-A-Lot. \u003c/strong>You tried it. Enjoy eternal damnation!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: The Dude With The Terrible Wig. \u003c/strong>I feel like he has nothing in his life, so the least I can do is throw a worthless award his way.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Valentine. \u003c/strong>No one introverts harder. And no one is more likely to snap one day and kill his entire family.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: Horace. \u003c/strong>For not getting too mad over my Curious Georgina wandering eye. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: \u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Morwenna and Drake. \u003c/span>\u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">PTSD is all that stands in the way of their love (and my \u003c/span>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Drakenna / Morwennake merch line). That can be cleared up in the season finale and not take years of intense therapy, right? I'm gonna go with yes. After all they've endured, they deserve to spit strawberries into each other's mouths!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105807/poldark-season-4-episode-6-recap-mo-money-mo-problems\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 6 Recap: Mo Money Mo Problems\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105805/poldark-season-4-episode-5-recap-no-tears-left-to-cry\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 5 Recap: No Tears Left To Cry\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105803/poldark-season-4-episode-4-recap-cry-me-a-river\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 4 Recap: Cry Me A River\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105795/poldark-season-4-episode-3-recap-homeward-bound\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 3 Recap: Homeward Bound\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105791/poldark-season-4-episode-2-recap-ready-to-run\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 2 Recap: Ready to Run\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105789/poldark-season-4-premiere-recap-you-keep-me-hangin-on\">'Poldark' Season 4 Premiere Recap: You Keep Me Hangin' On\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/96601/poldark-season-3-finale-recap-look-what-you-made-me-do\">'Poldark' Season 3 Finale Recap: Look What You Made Me Do\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/13/poldark-season-3-episode-7-recap-i-wanna-sex-you-up/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: I Wanna Sex You Up\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/05/poldark-season-3-episode-6-recap-you-give-love-a-bad-name/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: You Give Love A Bad Name\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/29/poldark-season-3-episode-5-recap-the-one-that-got-away/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: The One That Got Away\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: Break Free\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin’ Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "This week, Demelza experiences a #MeToo moment, blood is spilled and a random cute monkey shows up!",
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"title": "'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 7 Recap: London Calling | KQED",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105807/poldark-season-4-episode-6-recap-mo-money-mo-problems\">the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Elizabeth and Morwenna both realized they were carrying demonic embryos. Will they pose for an \u003cem>OMG-we're-both-preggers-at-the-same-time\u003c/em> photoshoot like Khloe Kardashian and Kylie Jenner?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107331\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/khloe-kylie-pregnant-morwenna-elizabeth.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"516\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/khloe-kylie-pregnant-morwenna-elizabeth.jpg 615w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/khloe-kylie-pregnant-morwenna-elizabeth-160x206.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/khloe-kylie-pregnant-morwenna-elizabeth-240x309.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/khloe-kylie-pregnant-morwenna-elizabeth-375x484.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/khloe-kylie-pregnant-morwenna-elizabeth-520x671.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We pick up right where we left off: with Ross and Demelza mid-coitus on the floor of their London sex den. They take turns spitting strawberries into each other's mouths.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107332\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/strawberry-spit.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Is there anything that could ruin the sexual healing mood?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yes, there is, and it's this line from Demelza:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Do you wish the children were here?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107348\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/shrink-sign-language.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"268\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross is like, \u003cem>Um, not so much! My twig and berries are literally out right now. The fact that we leave the kids at home all the time and ignore them when we're actually around is enough fodder for their future therapy sessions, let's not add witnessing their parents boink to the list.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza continues to, um, deflate the situation, with this line: \"Well, at this rate, we'll be soon adding to their number.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>No more pregnancies!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This isn't PBS' \u003cem>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/victoria\">Victoria\u003c/a>\u003c/em>!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Just have filthy floorboard sex and let that be enough!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Swim slower, Ross' sperm!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Be more standoffish, Demelza's ovaries!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107349\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/NO-MORE-KIDS.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"269\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Malfoy shows off the new mansion he bought with blood money and announces he will host a masked ball so that Geoffrey Charles and all the other rich Londoners have another opportunity to puke all over the place.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elizabeth tries to slow his roll a little bit: \"My dear, recollect how many times your invitations have not found the favor they deserve.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Translation: You are a social pariah and absolutely no one wants to willingly party with you.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy agrees that everyone hates his guts, but adds he plans to make it a charity event so everyone shows up out of pity.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The entire time this conversation is happening, poor little Valentine is in the corner silently playing on a huge rocking horse. #OnlyChildProblems\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Compare and contrast:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107333\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/rocking-horse.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107335\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/seesaw-valentine-lonely-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"367\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At a daytime rave, Demelza is delighted by all the razzmatazz London has to offer. Somehow, she doesn't notice the best and cutest guest at the party:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107336\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/monkey-cute-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I want to know this monkey's name and what she's munching on and what her favorite color is! (If I had to guess I'd say Curious Georgina, watermelon Bubblicious gum and aquamarine.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Moments later, Horace the Pug catches me checking out a cute \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> animal that isn't him. My bad! Behold the one and only king of my heart:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107337\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-cutie-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Such a heartthrob! What monkey?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Ross and Demelza's sex den, Demelza says she's tuckered out from all the sight-seeing and is going to take a nap. Ross seductively asks, \"What if I have other plans for you?\" They proceed to have sex for the 392nd time this week. I hope they tip the hotel maid a pretty penny (pence?) for having to scrub down every surface after they check out. Also, as I said before, PLEASE NO MORE BABIES. JUST SAY NO!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in Cornwall, Drake takes a look at the new barn he's moving into. This one is somehow sadder than the last. Sam offers to help him renovate it. I smell an HGTV spinoff!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107350\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/property-brothers.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"616\" height=\"347\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/property-brothers.jpg 616w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/property-brothers-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/property-brothers-240x135.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/property-brothers-375x211.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/property-brothers-520x293.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 616px) 100vw, 616px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over on Toe Jam Lane, Gross Goblin Mama stands a mere three paces away from Morwenna as she tells a doctor about her plan to lock Morwenna up in a loony bin the second she gives birth to the Anti-Christ. Have you ever seen a face express the feeling of \u003ca href=\"http://onlineslangdictionary.com/meaning-definition-of/fml\">FML\u003c/a> this strongly?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107339\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/fml-morwenna-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Gross Goblin Mama goes on to tell Morwenna that she better have a boy because \"girls are of use to no one.\" Where's Feminist Ross when you need him?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107370\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-poldark-feminist.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"278\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We immediately get our answer. He's at the masked ball! Sir Scam-A-Lot is also in attendance. And he has the hots for Demelza.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sir Scam-A-Lot:\u003c/strong> \"The hair is a touch provincial, but the rest is good.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Malfoy:\u003c/strong> \"Doubtless, she's been dressed in London.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sir Scam-A-Lot:\u003c/strong> \"Then she must be undressed in London.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, don't you worry. She has. Countless times. All over that hotel room.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy eggs Sir Scam-A-Lot on in his attempt to seduce Demelza. His pickup line could use some work:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107340\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-cannibal.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>His next pickup strategy—loudly licking his fingers, making way too much eye contact and showing off coat buttons that contain the hair of men he's murdered in duels—isn't much better.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Then, he looks at Ross and his friend who's a girl and says, \"Delicious body.\" Demelza assumes he's talking about Ross because... well, you've seen the shirtless scything and swimming gifs. Sir Scam-A-Lot clarifies he's objectifying his friend, \"though I venture Poldark's has much to recommend it.\" Damn right it does!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This attempted mating ritual gets more awkward (and more lizardy) by the second:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107342\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/creepy-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Eventually, Sir Scam-A-Lot just comes out and says it. \u003cem>Hey, girl, when can we be alone? I'm interested in date-raping you. \u003c/em>Thankfully, Ross, Blondie and \u003cem>Doc \u003c/em>show up to diffuse the situation. But that doesn't stop Sir Scam-A-Lot and Malfoy from betting on whether he can have sex with Demelza by the end of the week.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ugh, if this episode ends in sexual violence, I am grabbing a pitchfork and marching right up to Masterpiece Theater Headquarters!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>*looks up where that actually is, discovers it's all the way in Virginia*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, fine, I'll email them a pitchfork selfie.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Malfoy is annoyed that he can't bulldoze a poor neighborhood without consequences. Elizabeth offers up a sneakier way to displace all the poor people. Her one-way ticket to hell just got upgraded to first-class.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106667 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/going-to-hell-gif-1.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"460\" height=\"304\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, and in case you were wondering, Valentine is \u003cem>still\u003c/em> rocking on that horse silently in the background.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107383\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/valentine-alone.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"376\" height=\"200\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At yet another party, Sir Scam-A-Lot continues to harass Demelza. His one-liners are somehow getting grosser: \"You have an agile tongue, which I shall know what to do with, in due course.\" Ross has knocked dudes out for way less, so what's the hold up here?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107384\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/what-are-you-waiting-for-i-know-what.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"211\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that night, Ross and Demelza are not having sex for once. Instead, they're arguing over Demelza not doing enough to spurn Sir Scam-A-Lot. What's next, Ross? Her dress was too short? She was asking for it? Don't make me rescind my Feminist Ross animated gif!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Blood Money Mansion, Malfoy brags about blackmailing someone for their vote in Parliament. Elizabeth proudly tells Valentine how clever his fake dad is, but Val is too busy playing solitaire (no, really, that's not a joke) to respond.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Demelza confides in Doc and Blondie about Ross' jealousy. The gang is too distracted by dumb drama to recognize Curious Georgina's cuteness. Literally everyone else is rubber-necking to gaze at the adorable legend.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107360\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ee.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"532\" height=\"435\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ee.png 532w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ee-160x131.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ee-240x196.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ee-375x307.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ee-520x425.png 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 532px) 100vw, 532px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Demelza returns to her hotel room, Sir Scam-A-Lot is creepily waiting. He goes from zero to date rapist in no time at all, blocking the exit and saying gross things like, \"Tell me. Do you cry out when a man takes you?\" Demelza, grab a candlestick! It's the murder weapon du \u003cdel>jour\u003c/del> Season 4 after all!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107361\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-lumiere-1020x548.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"344\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-lumiere-1020x548.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-lumiere-160x86.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-lumiere-800x430.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-lumiere-768x413.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-lumiere-1200x645.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-lumiere-1920x1032.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-lumiere-1180x634.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-lumiere-960x516.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-lumiere-240x129.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-lumiere-375x202.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/poldark-lumiere-520x280.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza has a better idea. Apparently, that white knob rings the innkeeper!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107362\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/saved-by-the-bell-logo.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"378\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On his way out, Sir Scam-A-Lot keeps flapping his gums.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sir Scam-A-Lot:\u003c/strong> \"May I wait on you some other time?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Probably won't ever be in the mood to be raped, so no.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sir Scam-A-Lot:\u003c/strong> \"I see. It's not me you're afraid of but your husband! Does he beat you?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"Frequently.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Well played, Demelza!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107364\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/middle-finger-smile-2.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"499\" height=\"230\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Ross returns home, he's more concerned with what Demelza did to encourage Sir Scam-A-Lot than what Sir Scam-A-Lot attempted to do. Consider the Feminist Ross gif rescinded! WTF. Read a book, dude!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107369\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/ross-poldark-not-feminist.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"278\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Knowing that he needs to start getting back in my good graces, the next day in Parliament, Ross physically accosts Sir Scam-A-Lot for sitting on his gloves and generally being a prick!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107371\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/hit-punch-yas.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"360\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a different note, can we all pitch in to buy this dude a decent lace-front wig? He clearly needs our help.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107372\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/Screen-Shot-2018-11-10-at-2.04.29-PM-1020x1100.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"690\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/Screen-Shot-2018-11-10-at-2.04.29-PM-1020x1100.png 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/Screen-Shot-2018-11-10-at-2.04.29-PM-160x173.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/Screen-Shot-2018-11-10-at-2.04.29-PM-800x863.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/Screen-Shot-2018-11-10-at-2.04.29-PM-768x829.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/Screen-Shot-2018-11-10-at-2.04.29-PM-960x1036.png 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/Screen-Shot-2018-11-10-at-2.04.29-PM-240x259.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/Screen-Shot-2018-11-10-at-2.04.29-PM-375x405.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/Screen-Shot-2018-11-10-at-2.04.29-PM-520x561.png 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/Screen-Shot-2018-11-10-at-2.04.29-PM.png 1066w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of hair, Sir Scam-A-Lot wants to murder Ross and make a button out of his curls, so he invites him to a duel. Despite not being a very good shot, Ross agrees because last week's episode was kind of a snooze. They take their paces, fire and both take a hit! Sir Scam-A-Lot nips Ross in the arm. Ross gets him right in the groin. (Nice one, Ross! A few inches over would have been even better!)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross rushes over to help, but Sir Scam-A-Lot isn't very gracious about the whole thing: \"I wish I shot your head off. Damn and blast you to all eternity.\" Then, he passes out. Perhaps forever?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My eulogy for him:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107044\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/oh-and-demelza-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at the hotel, Doc pokes into Ross' open wound, which almost causes Demelza to pull a Geoffrey Charles all over the floor:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107373\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/demelza-vomit-puke-.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"266\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>There's a knock at the door!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Duels are illegal so it might be the police!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, it's just a letter...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>...saying that Sir Scam-A-Lot croaked!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107376\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/elaine-seinfeld-dance-graves.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"458\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in Cornwall, Morwenna has a miscarriage. I feel very ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ over this turn of events, as does Morwenna.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Gross Goblin Mama:\u003c/strong> \"The doctor believes you have suffered greatly since your miscarriage.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Morwenna:\u003c/strong> \"He's mistaken. I believe it was for the best.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107385\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/no-lies-detected.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"200\" height=\"100\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Drake is working in his new barn when Morwenna shows up!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107386\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/excited-arrested-development.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"275\" height=\"155\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She explains why she keeps shunning him: she can't bear to be touched or kissed or anything else 'cause it'll trigger her PTSD and make her think of being raped by Gross Goblin for years. Then she runs off.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107387\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/sad-frown-baby.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"224\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, over at Blood Money Mansion, while Valentine silently plays with an abacus (LOL), Malfoy tries to think of a way to expose the duel and hopefully get Ross hanged or something. He runs and snitches to the Attorney General, but the AG's response is basically, \u003cem>Get a life, loser.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-35963\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200.gif 200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-32x32.gif 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-50x50.gif 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-64x64.gif 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-96x96.gif 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-128x128.gif 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-150x150.gif 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 200px) 100vw, 200px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The following day, while Valentine again rocks on the horse by himself, Geoffrey Charles serves his function as a mere plot device by bursting in out of nowhere and blurting out how much Valentine looks like Ross. Elizabeth and Malfoy both make this face:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107378\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/shocked-monkey-puppet.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"218\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Blondie and Doc have an entire Horace-centric conversation about their relationship:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Blondie:\u003c/strong> \"Poor Horace wonders why he must be abandoned.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Doc:\u003c/strong> \"Poor Horace knows that I've already stayed longer than intended.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Blondie:\u003c/strong> \"Horace wonders why Doc can't find it in his heart to love London as he does.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Doc:\u003c/strong> \"Horace knows that he and I are different breeds. Perhaps Horace will return to Cornwall sooner than he thought.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Blondie:\u003c/strong> \"Perhaps he will.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107379\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/horace-cutie-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>From now on, Horace is my preferred pronoun. Horace wonders why all episodes can't be about Horace. Horace can't believe there's only one episode left in the season. Horace wonders if you all will come back and read \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/tag/victoria\">\u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> even though there are no cute pugs in that show. Horace is going to get on with the rest of the recap now.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the party grounds, Curious Georgina is nowhere to be found, but the other usual suspects are in attendance. Malfoy stomps past Ross, which reminds Ross that, for some reason, he has to pay Sir Scam-A-Lot's \u003cem>I-bet-I-can-rape-Demelza\u003c/em> wager to Malfoy. Things quickly get out of hand:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107380\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/throw-money-face-fight-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I didn't think anything could top the fight when Malfoy almost gouged Ross' eyes out or the fight when Ross almost roasted Malfoy's entire head in a roaring fireplace, but using someone's face as a coin slot comes pretty close!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elizabeth says, \"I cannot imagine...!\" Girl, quit lying. You know exactly the kind of person you're married to. Heck, you help him enact evil pretty much every episode! And you know exactly why he's pissed, so let's skip the act.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107388\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/11/shh-youre-getting-on-my-nerves-britney.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next morning, Ross wakes to find a letter from Demelza. It goes a little something like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Oh, hey.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>I'm going home. Feeding each other strawberries like mama birds was fun, but all the sexual harassment, victim-blaming and groin mutilation has gotten to be too much for me. This is where I would write 'I want a divorce' if that was a thing women could ask for in the 18th-century, but instead, I'll say 'See ya when I see ya.'\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Sir Scam-A-Lot. \u003c/strong>You tried it. Enjoy eternal damnation!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: The Dude With The Terrible Wig. \u003c/strong>I feel like he has nothing in his life, so the least I can do is throw a worthless award his way.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Valentine. \u003c/strong>No one introverts harder. And no one is more likely to snap one day and kill his entire family.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: Horace. \u003c/strong>For not getting too mad over my Curious Georgina wandering eye. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: \u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Morwenna and Drake. \u003c/span>\u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">PTSD is all that stands in the way of their love (and my \u003c/span>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Drakenna / Morwennake merch line). That can be cleared up in the season finale and not take years of intense therapy, right? I'm gonna go with yes. After all they've endured, they deserve to spit strawberries into each other's mouths!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105807/poldark-season-4-episode-6-recap-mo-money-mo-problems\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 6 Recap: Mo Money Mo Problems\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105805/poldark-season-4-episode-5-recap-no-tears-left-to-cry\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 5 Recap: No Tears Left To Cry\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105803/poldark-season-4-episode-4-recap-cry-me-a-river\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 4 Recap: Cry Me A River\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105795/poldark-season-4-episode-3-recap-homeward-bound\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 3 Recap: Homeward Bound\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105791/poldark-season-4-episode-2-recap-ready-to-run\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 2 Recap: Ready to Run\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105789/poldark-season-4-premiere-recap-you-keep-me-hangin-on\">'Poldark' Season 4 Premiere Recap: You Keep Me Hangin' On\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/96601/poldark-season-3-finale-recap-look-what-you-made-me-do\">'Poldark' Season 3 Finale Recap: Look What You Made Me Do\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/13/poldark-season-3-episode-7-recap-i-wanna-sex-you-up/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: I Wanna Sex You Up\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/05/poldark-season-3-episode-6-recap-you-give-love-a-bad-name/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: You Give Love A Bad Name\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/29/poldark-season-3-episode-5-recap-the-one-that-got-away/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: The One That Got Away\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: Break Free\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 6 Recap: Mo Money Mo Problems",
"title": "'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 6 Recap: Mo Money Mo Problems",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105805/poldark-season-4-episode-5-recap-no-tears-left-to-cry\">the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, a candlestick, a spooked horse, a few trees and karma joined forces to murder Gross Goblin (*blasts Etta James' \"At Last\"*).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a single episode, the experience of watching this show went from this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106903\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/depressed-poldark-sara-death-die.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>To this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107066\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/watching-poldark-happy-vicar-dead.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Will an inanimate object do us a solid and kill off another evil character this week? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Woah, that was fast! Another evildoer has croaked! Way to go, Lumiere!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107035\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/lumiere-butt.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Alas, the deceased is just some random banker dude who embezzled other people's money. This brings us to this week's edition of Malfoy Has A New Evil Plan To Get Even With Ross For Being Hotter Than He Is.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The bank in question is where all of Ross' life savings are, so if Malfoy can bully the town into withdrawing all of their funds, the bank will go under, taking all the Poldark coins with it and jeopardizing the mine and all of its employees. Malfoy borrows a bon mot from Marie Antoinette and puts his own spin on it:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107145\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/marie-george-1020x574.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/marie-george-1020x574.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/marie-george-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/marie-george-800x450.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/marie-george-768x432.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/marie-george.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/marie-george-1180x664.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/marie-george-960x540.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/marie-george-240x135.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/marie-george-375x211.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/marie-george-520x293.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I'm a pacifist, but my fist naturally clenches every time I see Malfoy's face. It's just begging for a punch.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107040\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/hermione-punch-malfoy-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"540\" height=\"210\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of Malfoy's face, Elizabeth walks in while he's plotting and says, \"You have a particular expression when you're conspiring against Ross.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's true.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It looks like a cross between this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107041\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/angry-white-lady-curtains-freak-out-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"445\" height=\"250\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107042\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/orig.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"635\" height=\"476\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, someone tells Demelza about Not So Dearly Departed Embezzler's death. Her reaction is so brutal that it could kill the man all over again:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107044\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/oh-and-demelza-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107045\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/ha-ha-laughing-captain-luc-star-trek-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"293\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But Demelza soon learns what this particular rando's death might mean for the family's financial future.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107050\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/sailor-moon-piggy-bank-money-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"540\" height=\"375\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107049\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/help-me-im-poor.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"209\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ominous music plays while Drake floats face down in the ocean. He might be dead.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But let's focus on the important thing first:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He's shirtless.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107073\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-drake-face-down-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, now that that requisite half-naked gif is out of the way, let's get back to the whole is-Drake-dead thing. Turns out he's alive and just being really dramatic. These days, we process a difficult breakup by posting something passive-aggressive on social media and/or crying while singing an Adele ballad at karaoke. I guess, back then, the only way to deal with heartbreak was pretending you've drowned to death.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So Drake lives to see another day (which will likely involve someone trying to arrest him, murder him, dump him or all of the above). My career advice: Turn lemons into lemonade by producing a sensitive rap album all about his hardships and emo feelings, just like \u003ca href=\"https://static.vibe.com/files/2013/09/vibe-vixen-drake-nothing-was-the-same-album-cover-compressed.jpg\">his 21st-century namesake\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107094\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"820\" height=\"820\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover.jpg 820w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover-160x160.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover-800x800.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover-768x768.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover-240x240.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover-375x375.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover-520x520.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover-50x50.jpg 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover-150x150.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 820px) 100vw, 820px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As an apology for making us think Drake was dead for 3 seconds, the \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> writers whip up a serving of their signature special: a scene involving a wet half-naked man.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107096 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-shirtless-body-swimming-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107095 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-shirtless-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sam ignores the sinfulness of Drake's naked nipples and begs Drake to leave the barn ashes behind and move in with him. Drake refuses and shares this little heart-stabbing nugget: \"Morwenna is dead to me.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107098\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/shut-your-dirty-little-mouth-colbert-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"332\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Drake plans to enlist in the military or get into some other calamitous situation that'll keep Drakenna / Morwennake apart for another few episodes. Can y'all just hand over the happy ending we rightfully deserve? I'm tired!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107099 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/give-it-to-me-now-colbrrt.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"220\" height=\"250\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Also, has Drake forgotten what happens when you go to war in the 18th century? You end up with:\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>A scar on your face (not everyone can pull it off like Ross)\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>A case of PTSD (Doc no longer has the ability to appreciate when Blondie sneaks up on him and screams \"BOO!\" in his ear)\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>A blow to your eyesight that will make it especially hard to write horny poetry by candlelight for your friend's wife (I miss you, Prison Bestie, and can't wait to see you on \u003ca href=\"https://deadline.com/2018/10/game-of-thrones-prequel-josh-whitehouse-mr-burberry-poldark-valley-girl-1202493011/\">the Game of Thrones prequel\u003c/a>!).\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>Point is: STAY HOME, DRAKE.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of the actors' real lives, how come none of you told me Mrs. Pigpen a.k.a. Prudie looks this cute IRL?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107103\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-1020x1020.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"640\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-1020x1020.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-160x160.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-800x800.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-768x768.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-960x960.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-240x240.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-375x375.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-520x520.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-50x50.jpg 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-150x150.jpg 150w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair.jpg 1080w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>(And yes, that's Aidan Turner biting her face. Some people have all the luck.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anyway, back to the show...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Elizabeth suddenly gets winded and has to sit down for no apparent reason. Is she going to die?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My official response:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107044\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/oh-and-demelza-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>*abruptly stops my evil celebratory laughter* Hold on a second. Elizabeth has a flashback of Ross advising her to get pregnant and lie about the dates so Malfoy will think premies are her thing and that Valentine is truly their kid. So I guess she's not dying and just hiding a pregnancy then.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107101\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/disappointed-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"234\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of disappointing developments, Morwenna has been experiencing palpitations and nausea. Please don't tell me she's carrying another mini Gross Goblin. I can't take much more of this!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107102\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/no-i-cant-not-doing-that-toddlers-tiaras-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"273\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In London, Ross attends yet another rave featuring the same old staples: pyrotechnics, cool IKEA lanterns and Geoffrey Charles' puking in a corner. Thankfully, we are spared a close-up of the chunks this time, but we do get to see him drool out the excess saliva that lets you know all those Goldfish crackers you ate earlier are about to swim back up very soon.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107147\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/goldfish-crackers-mouth.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"256\" height=\"254\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A few days later, Ross convinces Geoffrey Charles to come back to Cornwall and sober up. Geoffrey Charles asks Ross, \"Why could you not have been my stepfather?\" Ross is too polite to say: \u003cem>Umm, because your mom got with my first cousin while I was trying to survive a war. Then got with my worst enemy. Oh, and she killed one of my kids with her germs. That's why! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Demelza is busy trying to single-handedly save the bank. A mob has gathered outside of its doors, wanting to withdraw all their money. Demelza convinces them to cool their jets by essentially filming a Suze Orman infomercial about how important it is to invest. The villagers and I are buying what she's selling.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107104\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-1020x1020.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"640\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-1020x1020.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-160x160.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-800x800.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-768x768.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-1180x1180.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-960x960.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-240x240.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-375x375.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-520x520.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-50x50.jpg 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-150x150.jpg 150w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Drake dramatically walks up a hill and runs into... Rosina.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Can we not? I thought the animated gifs I made last week made my position on force-feeding us this character abundantly clear!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106870\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-rosina-no.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"631\" height=\"353\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106896\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/push-rosina-poldark-out-of-car.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"320\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Rosina tells Drake that, if she can handle everyone gossiping about how she was dumped on her wedding day, he can handle sticking around Cornwall and not moving away forever.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, fine. Rosina is right. She still bugs me though. #TeamDrakenna/Morwennake4ever!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Good news! Demelza's Suze Orman impression saved the bank!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107107 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/suze-orman-approved.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"257\" height=\"196\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/suze-orman-approved.jpeg 257w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/suze-orman-approved-160x122.jpeg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/suze-orman-approved-240x183.jpeg 240w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 257px) 100vw, 257px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bad news! Malfoy finds out and figures out another way to shut down the bank!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107106\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/suze-orman-denied.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/suze-orman-denied.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/suze-orman-denied-160x120.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/suze-orman-denied-240x180.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/suze-orman-denied-375x281.jpg 375w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy rushes home to tell Elizabeth all about how he just robbed Ross of his life savings. Cut to Ross dropping Geoffrey Charles' drunk ass off at Malfoy's house and Elizabeth asking him to stay a while. Oooh, this is going to be good. Here's hoping whatever happens involves Ross putting Malfoy's head into a lit fireplace again!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107109\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/pigeon-popcorn.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"266\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Stop everything!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The one!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The only!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Horace has returned!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107110\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-pug-run-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, and Blondie is back too!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Doc and Blondie share a sweet moment, but I can't stop laughing at Horace's lil photobombing butt.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107111\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-butt-kiss-1020x550.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"345\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-butt-kiss-1020x550.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-butt-kiss-160x86.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-butt-kiss-800x432.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-butt-kiss-768x414.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-butt-kiss-1200x648.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-butt-kiss-1920x1036.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-butt-kiss-1180x637.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-butt-kiss-960x518.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-butt-kiss-240x130.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-butt-kiss-375x202.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-butt-kiss-520x281.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Liz's house, Elizabeth tells Ross she suspects Malfoy is scheming again.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Against me? Never!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Elizabeth:\u003c/strong> \"It's his way. I've grown used to it. I'm content.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Um, okay, glad \u003cem>you're\u003c/em> content with Malfoy continuously trying to ruin lives.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107112\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/middle-finger-censored.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"268\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107113\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/you-suck-abby-miller.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Valentine runs in and Ross finally meets his secret love child for the first time. Ross shakes his little hand and says, \"Happy to make your acquaintance, sir.\" Maybe it's leftover Baby Sara feels, but I'm oddly touched!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38389\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/lauren-conrad-aww-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"357\" height=\"200\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As he's being led out of the room by his nanny, Valentine stops, turns and waves goodbye to Ross, who salutes. I feel a tear coming. You get back in that tear duct! This show has wrung out too many emotions out of me! I'm dehydrated!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But here it comes anyway.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107117\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/lauren-conrad-tear.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"862\" height=\"478\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Just as Ross' carriage pulls away, Malfoy rides up to the house. Elizabeth looks like she just passed several kidney stones.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107118\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/giphy-3.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"237\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But, being the master of deception that she is, Elizabeth quickly recovers and leads Malfoy to believe that the carriage has just dropped off Geoffrey Charles. Guess I didn't need that popcorn after all.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107119\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/pigeon-popcorn-reverse.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"266\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at chez Poldark, Demelza is freaking out about her Suze Orman plan not working. Ross shows up to say he doesn't really care about all this bank business that much. Ok, great! Does this mean we get a new storyline I actually care about?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Apparently not. Ross spends an entire day, going door to door, trying to convince rich dudes to save the bank. They all laugh in his face before diving into their pools full of gold coins.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107120\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/ducktales-pool-gold-coins.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"380\" height=\"249\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross returns home with his tail between his legs and asks Demelza for advice.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"What's your opinion?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"Mine??\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"We're partners, are we not?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107121\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/ross-as-beyonce-feminist.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"278\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Way to show everyone that men can be feminists too, Ross!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next evening, Demelza decides to throw a \u003cem>Let's-get-tanked-instead-of-thinking-about-how-I-can't-pay-y'all!\u003c/em> kegger for the mine employees.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Everyone is in great spirits. Except for me. Because this keeps happening.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107141\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/rosina-drake.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97368\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/make_it_stop_boy_meets_world.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"215\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thankfully, Sam distracts Drake with some good advice: \u003cem>Hey, you're already looking at eternal damnation for kissing Morwenna last year. Might as well go to her house one last time and try to be with her\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Right on!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107142\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/britney-thumbs-up-creepy-smile.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"275\" height=\"206\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The following day, everyone attends the grand opening of a new hospital. How thrilling.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107122\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/kim-yawn.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"250\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the reception, Ross has a bit too much to drink and calls Malfoy out for being a sniveling little you-know-what. Malfoy calls him a storm in a teacup. And the award for cutest insult in a dick-measuring contest goes to....!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107124\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/chip-beauty-and-the-beast-bubbles.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"243\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Things escalate. Ross screams \"You lie!\" and yoinks Malfoy's frilly blouse.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107127\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/ross-pulls-george-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Put his head in the fireplace, Ross! Kill him!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107125\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/kill-him.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"468\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ugh. Before he gets the chance, Elizabeth passes out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107128\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/elizabeth-faints-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I could see this becoming a new dance craze. Do the bobblehead!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that day, Drake follows Sam's advice and shows up at Morwenna's house. He lays it all on the line: \"I love ye still. And so I ask one final time, Will ye not take me? 'Tis no sin to love me. Can you not see that there be hope?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107140\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/hope-poster-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"327\" height=\"498\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Morwenna takes my Hope poster and promptly rips it to shreds. \"I did think so once, but now... Please go and never return. I'm with child.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107129 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/will-smith-scream-no.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-98856\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/01/wendy-cant.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"148\" height=\"240\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This is complete and utter BS! Now I have to cancel my merchandise line. How am I going to get rich now??\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107139 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-tea-set-poldark-copy.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"620\" height=\"526\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-tea-set-poldark-copy.jpg 620w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-tea-set-poldark-copy-160x136.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-tea-set-poldark-copy-240x204.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-tea-set-poldark-copy-375x318.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-tea-set-poldark-copy-520x441.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 620px) 100vw, 620px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107138\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/swimsuit.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"585\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/swimsuit.jpg 742w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/swimsuit-160x146.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/swimsuit-240x219.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/swimsuit-375x343.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/swimsuit-520x475.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107137\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/sheets-1-copy.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"375\" height=\"452\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/sheets-1-copy.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/sheets-1-copy-160x193.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/sheets-1-copy-240x289.jpg 240w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 375px) 100vw, 375px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107136\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-1020x1020.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"640\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-1020x1020.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-160x160.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-800x800.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-768x768.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-1180x1180.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-960x960.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-240x240.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-375x375.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-520x520.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-50x50.jpg 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-150x150.jpg 150w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Horace's house, Blondie tells Doc that Cornwall is boring as hell and invites him to come to London with her this time. Everyone should get the chance to watch Geoffrey Charles puke on a fancy rug!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The boring bank storyline comes to an end with Ross and his Bankrupt Banker Bestie becoming partners in a more prestigious bank. Nice try, Malfoy. So close, yet so far away.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107148\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/jump-in-pool.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"212\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One of the perks of Ross' new role as a banker is that he gets free fancy carriage rides to wherever he'd like. Because this episode's theme is no longer ignoring your spouse, Ross invites Demelza to London for the first time. They're going to party like it's 1799! Get ready, Puke Cleaner-Upper!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a less happy household, Malfoy wants the doctor who routinely tortures his patients with leeches to treat Elizabeth. Because blood-sucking worms don't go with her outfit, Liz comes clean about being pregnant. Oh, so she's not dying then? Hmm. Maybe next time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107131\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/%E3%83%84_%C2%AF-.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"243\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next morning, Demelza wakes up naked in London. And it isn't long before she and Ross are role-playing on the ground.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"No, you can't have me!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Oh, yes I can! You're my prisoner! My present to be unwrapped at leisure.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Their 50 Shades of Grey(-Powdered Wigs) playtime is interrupted by a knock at the door.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross yells that they'll be down in an hour.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107133\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/spray-golden-girls-hot.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"275\" height=\"212\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"...or two.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107132\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/treat-yoself.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"200\" height=\"150\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Daaaamn.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Elizabeth. \u003c/strong>If she hadn't married off Morwenna to a toe-gobbling rapist, Drakenna would be thriving and I would be busy counting my merch line money. I hope her baby is ugly.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: The London Hotel Maid. \u003c/strong>For having to clean up the floorboards after Ross and Demelza are done.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE: \u003c/strong>\u003c/span>\u003cstrong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Geoffrey Charles' Liver. \u003c/span>\u003c/strong>Hang in there, buddy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: \u003c/strong>\u003c/span>\u003cstrong>Horace's Little Photo-Bombing Butt. \u003c/strong>The best in the biz!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: \u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>Valentine. \u003c/strong>He's going to need something shiny to play with while he's in therapy for the rest of his life.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105805/poldark-season-4-episode-5-recap-no-tears-left-to-cry\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 5 Recap: No Tears Left To Cry\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105803/poldark-season-4-episode-4-recap-cry-me-a-river\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 4 Recap: Cry Me A River\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105795/poldark-season-4-episode-3-recap-homeward-bound\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 3 Recap: Homeward Bound\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105791/poldark-season-4-episode-2-recap-ready-to-run\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 2 Recap: Ready to Run\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105789/poldark-season-4-premiere-recap-you-keep-me-hangin-on\">'Poldark' Season 4 Premiere Recap: You Keep Me Hangin' On\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/96601/poldark-season-3-finale-recap-look-what-you-made-me-do\">'Poldark' Season 3 Finale Recap: Look What You Made Me Do\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/13/poldark-season-3-episode-7-recap-i-wanna-sex-you-up/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: I Wanna Sex You Up\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/05/poldark-season-3-episode-6-recap-you-give-love-a-bad-name/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: You Give Love A Bad Name\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/29/poldark-season-3-episode-5-recap-the-one-that-got-away/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: The One That Got Away\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: Break Free\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin’ Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105805/poldark-season-4-episode-5-recap-no-tears-left-to-cry\">the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, a candlestick, a spooked horse, a few trees and karma joined forces to murder Gross Goblin (*blasts Etta James' \"At Last\"*).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a single episode, the experience of watching this show went from this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106903\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/depressed-poldark-sara-death-die.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>To this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107066\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/watching-poldark-happy-vicar-dead.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Will an inanimate object do us a solid and kill off another evil character this week? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Woah, that was fast! Another evildoer has croaked! Way to go, Lumiere!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107035\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/lumiere-butt.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Alas, the deceased is just some random banker dude who embezzled other people's money. This brings us to this week's edition of Malfoy Has A New Evil Plan To Get Even With Ross For Being Hotter Than He Is.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The bank in question is where all of Ross' life savings are, so if Malfoy can bully the town into withdrawing all of their funds, the bank will go under, taking all the Poldark coins with it and jeopardizing the mine and all of its employees. Malfoy borrows a bon mot from Marie Antoinette and puts his own spin on it:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107145\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/marie-george-1020x574.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/marie-george-1020x574.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/marie-george-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/marie-george-800x450.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/marie-george-768x432.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/marie-george.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/marie-george-1180x664.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/marie-george-960x540.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/marie-george-240x135.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/marie-george-375x211.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/marie-george-520x293.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I'm a pacifist, but my fist naturally clenches every time I see Malfoy's face. It's just begging for a punch.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107040\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/hermione-punch-malfoy-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"540\" height=\"210\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of Malfoy's face, Elizabeth walks in while he's plotting and says, \"You have a particular expression when you're conspiring against Ross.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's true.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It looks like a cross between this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107041\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/angry-white-lady-curtains-freak-out-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"445\" height=\"250\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107042\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/orig.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"635\" height=\"476\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, someone tells Demelza about Not So Dearly Departed Embezzler's death. Her reaction is so brutal that it could kill the man all over again:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107044\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/oh-and-demelza-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107045\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/ha-ha-laughing-captain-luc-star-trek-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"293\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But Demelza soon learns what this particular rando's death might mean for the family's financial future.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107050\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/sailor-moon-piggy-bank-money-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"540\" height=\"375\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107049\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/help-me-im-poor.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"209\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ominous music plays while Drake floats face down in the ocean. He might be dead.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But let's focus on the important thing first:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He's shirtless.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107073\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-drake-face-down-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, now that that requisite half-naked gif is out of the way, let's get back to the whole is-Drake-dead thing. Turns out he's alive and just being really dramatic. These days, we process a difficult breakup by posting something passive-aggressive on social media and/or crying while singing an Adele ballad at karaoke. I guess, back then, the only way to deal with heartbreak was pretending you've drowned to death.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So Drake lives to see another day (which will likely involve someone trying to arrest him, murder him, dump him or all of the above). My career advice: Turn lemons into lemonade by producing a sensitive rap album all about his hardships and emo feelings, just like \u003ca href=\"https://static.vibe.com/files/2013/09/vibe-vixen-drake-nothing-was-the-same-album-cover-compressed.jpg\">his 21st-century namesake\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107094\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"820\" height=\"820\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover.jpg 820w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover-160x160.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover-800x800.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover-768x768.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover-240x240.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover-375x375.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover-520x520.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover-50x50.jpg 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-poldark-album-cover-150x150.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 820px) 100vw, 820px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As an apology for making us think Drake was dead for 3 seconds, the \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> writers whip up a serving of their signature special: a scene involving a wet half-naked man.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107096 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-shirtless-body-swimming-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107095 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-shirtless-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sam ignores the sinfulness of Drake's naked nipples and begs Drake to leave the barn ashes behind and move in with him. Drake refuses and shares this little heart-stabbing nugget: \"Morwenna is dead to me.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107098\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/shut-your-dirty-little-mouth-colbert-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"332\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Drake plans to enlist in the military or get into some other calamitous situation that'll keep Drakenna / Morwennake apart for another few episodes. Can y'all just hand over the happy ending we rightfully deserve? I'm tired!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107099 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/give-it-to-me-now-colbrrt.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"220\" height=\"250\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Also, has Drake forgotten what happens when you go to war in the 18th century? You end up with:\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>A scar on your face (not everyone can pull it off like Ross)\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>A case of PTSD (Doc no longer has the ability to appreciate when Blondie sneaks up on him and screams \"BOO!\" in his ear)\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>A blow to your eyesight that will make it especially hard to write horny poetry by candlelight for your friend's wife (I miss you, Prison Bestie, and can't wait to see you on \u003ca href=\"https://deadline.com/2018/10/game-of-thrones-prequel-josh-whitehouse-mr-burberry-poldark-valley-girl-1202493011/\">the Game of Thrones prequel\u003c/a>!).\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>Point is: STAY HOME, DRAKE.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of the actors' real lives, how come none of you told me Mrs. Pigpen a.k.a. Prudie looks this cute IRL?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107103\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-1020x1020.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"640\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-1020x1020.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-160x160.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-800x800.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-768x768.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-960x960.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-240x240.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-375x375.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-520x520.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-50x50.jpg 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair-150x150.jpg 150w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/prudie-poldark-pink-hair.jpg 1080w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>(And yes, that's Aidan Turner biting her face. Some people have all the luck.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anyway, back to the show...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Elizabeth suddenly gets winded and has to sit down for no apparent reason. Is she going to die?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My official response:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107044\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/oh-and-demelza-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>*abruptly stops my evil celebratory laughter* Hold on a second. Elizabeth has a flashback of Ross advising her to get pregnant and lie about the dates so Malfoy will think premies are her thing and that Valentine is truly their kid. So I guess she's not dying and just hiding a pregnancy then.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107101\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/disappointed-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"234\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of disappointing developments, Morwenna has been experiencing palpitations and nausea. Please don't tell me she's carrying another mini Gross Goblin. I can't take much more of this!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107102\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/no-i-cant-not-doing-that-toddlers-tiaras-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"273\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In London, Ross attends yet another rave featuring the same old staples: pyrotechnics, cool IKEA lanterns and Geoffrey Charles' puking in a corner. Thankfully, we are spared a close-up of the chunks this time, but we do get to see him drool out the excess saliva that lets you know all those Goldfish crackers you ate earlier are about to swim back up very soon.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107147\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/goldfish-crackers-mouth.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"256\" height=\"254\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A few days later, Ross convinces Geoffrey Charles to come back to Cornwall and sober up. Geoffrey Charles asks Ross, \"Why could you not have been my stepfather?\" Ross is too polite to say: \u003cem>Umm, because your mom got with my first cousin while I was trying to survive a war. Then got with my worst enemy. Oh, and she killed one of my kids with her germs. That's why! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Demelza is busy trying to single-handedly save the bank. A mob has gathered outside of its doors, wanting to withdraw all their money. Demelza convinces them to cool their jets by essentially filming a Suze Orman infomercial about how important it is to invest. The villagers and I are buying what she's selling.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107104\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-1020x1020.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"640\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-1020x1020.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-160x160.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-800x800.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-768x768.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-1180x1180.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-960x960.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-240x240.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-375x375.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-520x520.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-50x50.jpg 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark-150x150.jpg 150w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/demelza-suze-orman-poldark.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Drake dramatically walks up a hill and runs into... Rosina.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Can we not? I thought the animated gifs I made last week made my position on force-feeding us this character abundantly clear!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106870\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-rosina-no.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"631\" height=\"353\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106896\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/push-rosina-poldark-out-of-car.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"320\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Rosina tells Drake that, if she can handle everyone gossiping about how she was dumped on her wedding day, he can handle sticking around Cornwall and not moving away forever.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, fine. Rosina is right. She still bugs me though. #TeamDrakenna/Morwennake4ever!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Good news! Demelza's Suze Orman impression saved the bank!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107107 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/suze-orman-approved.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"257\" height=\"196\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/suze-orman-approved.jpeg 257w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/suze-orman-approved-160x122.jpeg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/suze-orman-approved-240x183.jpeg 240w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 257px) 100vw, 257px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bad news! Malfoy finds out and figures out another way to shut down the bank!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107106\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/suze-orman-denied.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/suze-orman-denied.jpg 400w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/suze-orman-denied-160x120.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/suze-orman-denied-240x180.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/suze-orman-denied-375x281.jpg 375w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy rushes home to tell Elizabeth all about how he just robbed Ross of his life savings. Cut to Ross dropping Geoffrey Charles' drunk ass off at Malfoy's house and Elizabeth asking him to stay a while. Oooh, this is going to be good. Here's hoping whatever happens involves Ross putting Malfoy's head into a lit fireplace again!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107109\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/pigeon-popcorn.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"266\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Stop everything!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The one!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The only!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Horace has returned!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107110\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-pug-run-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, and Blondie is back too!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Doc and Blondie share a sweet moment, but I can't stop laughing at Horace's lil photobombing butt.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107111\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-butt-kiss-1020x550.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"345\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-butt-kiss-1020x550.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-butt-kiss-160x86.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-butt-kiss-800x432.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-butt-kiss-768x414.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-butt-kiss-1200x648.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-butt-kiss-1920x1036.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-butt-kiss-1180x637.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-butt-kiss-960x518.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-butt-kiss-240x130.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-butt-kiss-375x202.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/poldark-horace-butt-kiss-520x281.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Liz's house, Elizabeth tells Ross she suspects Malfoy is scheming again.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Against me? Never!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Elizabeth:\u003c/strong> \"It's his way. I've grown used to it. I'm content.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Um, okay, glad \u003cem>you're\u003c/em> content with Malfoy continuously trying to ruin lives.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107112\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/middle-finger-censored.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"268\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107113\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/you-suck-abby-miller.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Valentine runs in and Ross finally meets his secret love child for the first time. Ross shakes his little hand and says, \"Happy to make your acquaintance, sir.\" Maybe it's leftover Baby Sara feels, but I'm oddly touched!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38389\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/lauren-conrad-aww-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"357\" height=\"200\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As he's being led out of the room by his nanny, Valentine stops, turns and waves goodbye to Ross, who salutes. I feel a tear coming. You get back in that tear duct! This show has wrung out too many emotions out of me! I'm dehydrated!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But here it comes anyway.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107117\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/lauren-conrad-tear.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"862\" height=\"478\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Just as Ross' carriage pulls away, Malfoy rides up to the house. Elizabeth looks like she just passed several kidney stones.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107118\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/giphy-3.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"237\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But, being the master of deception that she is, Elizabeth quickly recovers and leads Malfoy to believe that the carriage has just dropped off Geoffrey Charles. Guess I didn't need that popcorn after all.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107119\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/pigeon-popcorn-reverse.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"266\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at chez Poldark, Demelza is freaking out about her Suze Orman plan not working. Ross shows up to say he doesn't really care about all this bank business that much. Ok, great! Does this mean we get a new storyline I actually care about?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Apparently not. Ross spends an entire day, going door to door, trying to convince rich dudes to save the bank. They all laugh in his face before diving into their pools full of gold coins.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107120\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/ducktales-pool-gold-coins.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"380\" height=\"249\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross returns home with his tail between his legs and asks Demelza for advice.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"What's your opinion?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"Mine??\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"We're partners, are we not?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107121\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/ross-as-beyonce-feminist.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"278\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Way to show everyone that men can be feminists too, Ross!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next evening, Demelza decides to throw a \u003cem>Let's-get-tanked-instead-of-thinking-about-how-I-can't-pay-y'all!\u003c/em> kegger for the mine employees.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Everyone is in great spirits. Except for me. Because this keeps happening.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107141\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/rosina-drake.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97368\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/make_it_stop_boy_meets_world.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"215\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Thankfully, Sam distracts Drake with some good advice: \u003cem>Hey, you're already looking at eternal damnation for kissing Morwenna last year. Might as well go to her house one last time and try to be with her\u003c/em>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Right on!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107142\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/britney-thumbs-up-creepy-smile.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"275\" height=\"206\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The following day, everyone attends the grand opening of a new hospital. How thrilling.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107122\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/kim-yawn.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"250\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the reception, Ross has a bit too much to drink and calls Malfoy out for being a sniveling little you-know-what. Malfoy calls him a storm in a teacup. And the award for cutest insult in a dick-measuring contest goes to....!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107124\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/chip-beauty-and-the-beast-bubbles.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"243\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Things escalate. Ross screams \"You lie!\" and yoinks Malfoy's frilly blouse.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107127\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/ross-pulls-george-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Put his head in the fireplace, Ross! Kill him!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107125\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/kill-him.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"468\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ugh. Before he gets the chance, Elizabeth passes out.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107128\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/elizabeth-faints-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I could see this becoming a new dance craze. Do the bobblehead!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that day, Drake follows Sam's advice and shows up at Morwenna's house. He lays it all on the line: \"I love ye still. And so I ask one final time, Will ye not take me? 'Tis no sin to love me. Can you not see that there be hope?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107140\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/hope-poster-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"327\" height=\"498\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Morwenna takes my Hope poster and promptly rips it to shreds. \"I did think so once, but now... Please go and never return. I'm with child.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107129 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/will-smith-scream-no.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-98856\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/01/wendy-cant.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"148\" height=\"240\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This is complete and utter BS! Now I have to cancel my merchandise line. How am I going to get rich now??\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107139 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-tea-set-poldark-copy.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"620\" height=\"526\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-tea-set-poldark-copy.jpg 620w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-tea-set-poldark-copy-160x136.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-tea-set-poldark-copy-240x204.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-tea-set-poldark-copy-375x318.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/drake-tea-set-poldark-copy-520x441.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 620px) 100vw, 620px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107138\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/swimsuit.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"585\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/swimsuit.jpg 742w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/swimsuit-160x146.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/swimsuit-240x219.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/swimsuit-375x343.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/swimsuit-520x475.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107137\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/sheets-1-copy.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"375\" height=\"452\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/sheets-1-copy.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/sheets-1-copy-160x193.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/sheets-1-copy-240x289.jpg 240w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 375px) 100vw, 375px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107136\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-1020x1020.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"640\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-1020x1020.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-160x160.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-800x800.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-768x768.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-1180x1180.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-960x960.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-240x240.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-375x375.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-520x520.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-50x50.jpg 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy-150x150.jpg 150w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200-copy.jpg 1200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Horace's house, Blondie tells Doc that Cornwall is boring as hell and invites him to come to London with her this time. Everyone should get the chance to watch Geoffrey Charles puke on a fancy rug!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The boring bank storyline comes to an end with Ross and his Bankrupt Banker Bestie becoming partners in a more prestigious bank. Nice try, Malfoy. So close, yet so far away.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-107148\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/jump-in-pool.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"212\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>One of the perks of Ross' new role as a banker is that he gets free fancy carriage rides to wherever he'd like. Because this episode's theme is no longer ignoring your spouse, Ross invites Demelza to London for the first time. They're going to party like it's 1799! Get ready, Puke Cleaner-Upper!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In a less happy household, Malfoy wants the doctor who routinely tortures his patients with leeches to treat Elizabeth. Because blood-sucking worms don't go with her outfit, Liz comes clean about being pregnant. Oh, so she's not dying then? Hmm. Maybe next time.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107131\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/%E3%83%84_%C2%AF-.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"243\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next morning, Demelza wakes up naked in London. And it isn't long before she and Ross are role-playing on the ground.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"No, you can't have me!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Oh, yes I can! You're my prisoner! My present to be unwrapped at leisure.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Their 50 Shades of Grey(-Powdered Wigs) playtime is interrupted by a knock at the door.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross yells that they'll be down in an hour.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-107133\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/spray-golden-girls-hot.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"275\" height=\"212\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"...or two.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-107132\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/treat-yoself.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"200\" height=\"150\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Daaaamn.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Elizabeth. \u003c/strong>If she hadn't married off Morwenna to a toe-gobbling rapist, Drakenna would be thriving and I would be busy counting my merch line money. I hope her baby is ugly.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: The London Hotel Maid. \u003c/strong>For having to clean up the floorboards after Ross and Demelza are done.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE: \u003c/strong>\u003c/span>\u003cstrong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">Geoffrey Charles' Liver. \u003c/span>\u003c/strong>Hang in there, buddy.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: \u003c/strong>\u003c/span>\u003cstrong>Horace's Little Photo-Bombing Butt. \u003c/strong>The best in the biz!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: \u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>Valentine. \u003c/strong>He's going to need something shiny to play with while he's in therapy for the rest of his life.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105805/poldark-season-4-episode-5-recap-no-tears-left-to-cry\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 5 Recap: No Tears Left To Cry\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105803/poldark-season-4-episode-4-recap-cry-me-a-river\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 4 Recap: Cry Me A River\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105795/poldark-season-4-episode-3-recap-homeward-bound\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 3 Recap: Homeward Bound\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105791/poldark-season-4-episode-2-recap-ready-to-run\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 2 Recap: Ready to Run\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105789/poldark-season-4-premiere-recap-you-keep-me-hangin-on\">'Poldark' Season 4 Premiere Recap: You Keep Me Hangin' On\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/96601/poldark-season-3-finale-recap-look-what-you-made-me-do\">'Poldark' Season 3 Finale Recap: Look What You Made Me Do\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/13/poldark-season-3-episode-7-recap-i-wanna-sex-you-up/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: I Wanna Sex You Up\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/05/poldark-season-3-episode-6-recap-you-give-love-a-bad-name/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: You Give Love A Bad Name\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/29/poldark-season-3-episode-5-recap-the-one-that-got-away/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: The One That Got Away\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: Break Free\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 5 Recap: No Tears Left To Cry",
"title": "'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 5 Recap: No Tears Left To Cry",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105803/poldark-season-4-episode-4-recap-cry-me-a-river\">the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, the show obliterated our emotions by killing off Baby Sara. That watching experience looked a little something like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106903\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/depressed-poldark-sara-death-die.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You'd think the writers would dial it down a few notches this week to let us catch our breath, dry our tears and experience a bit of joy again.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Nope! Not gonna happen! Take a seat, happiness.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106826\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/smiley-face-fall-down-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"169\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Children and their parents are dropping dead from hunger and fever, Ross' fellow politicians don't want to do anything about it, and Malfoy's stupid punchable face is back in the House of Commons.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106827\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/boy-am-i-depressed-i-need-a-cookie-golden-girls-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"381\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, thank goddess! Blondie is on the scene to distract us from all the bleakness with a shiny fashion moment! Would you look at that hat?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106831\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/werk-blondie.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"431\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/werk-blondie.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/werk-blondie-160x86.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/werk-blondie-768x414.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/werk-blondie-240x129.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/werk-blondie-375x202.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/werk-blondie-520x280.png 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Blondie wears it well, but let's give credit where credit is due.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106832\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/0f9a87d90bd8ca822498778ffe7ac8d2-strawberry-shortcake-cartoon-cartoon-picture.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"236\" height=\"288\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/0f9a87d90bd8ca822498778ffe7ac8d2-strawberry-shortcake-cartoon-cartoon-picture.jpg 236w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/0f9a87d90bd8ca822498778ffe7ac8d2-strawberry-shortcake-cartoon-cartoon-picture-160x195.jpg 160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 236px) 100vw, 236px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I hope you enjoyed that very brief comedic detour because it's time to travel back to Bleakville. Doc asks Morwenna why she threatened to murder her kid that one time. She explains that the empty threat is the only ammo she has against Gross Goblin's \"attentions.\" #FreeMorwennasToes!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Drake's bachelor pad (okay, fine, the barn he lives in), Demelza is still on her mission to turn Drake and Rosina into an item worthy of a portmanteau couple name. Drosina? Rake?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>See? They don't belong together! Team Drakenna / Morwennake 4 Life! As the president of their official fan club, I vow to make a line of merchandise if they ever find a way to murder Gross Goblin and be together. You would buy a tea set with their faces on it, right?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106868\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/drake-tea-set-poldark.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"620\" height=\"526\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/drake-tea-set-poldark.jpg 620w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/drake-tea-set-poldark-160x136.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/drake-tea-set-poldark-240x204.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/drake-tea-set-poldark-375x318.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/drake-tea-set-poldark-520x441.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 620px) 100vw, 620px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Drake confesses that he thinks Rosina's habit of constantly following him around and waving is cute and all, but it's not love. Demelza tries to reassure him that you don't need to love the person you're going to spend all of eternity with.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-44499\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/publizity-wait-whet-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Oh, don't worry about actually loving the person you marry! Ross didn't love me at first; he only married me to make his ex jealous! And look at us now! Not living in the same house and barely recovering after two love affairs and a secret love child! Don't you want a piece of that?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Drake is too nice to actually say:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106846\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/no-thank-you-please-liz-lemon-tina-fey-30-rock-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Jennifer Lawrence is still wiggling her toes in Gross Goblin's face for money. Is anyone else beyond tired of this?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-102176\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/britney-yawn-bored.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"306\" height=\"200\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Like a parent forcing a child to eat broccoli, it's time for the \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> writers to force me to swallow even more of this Rosina storyline.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106870\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-rosina-no.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"631\" height=\"353\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106833\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/eat-it.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"540\" height=\"294\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Drake approaches Rosina and says, \"Ye must know that I have a liking for thee.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>PLEASE SAY \"BUT...\"! Here's how to say it in American Sign Language. I don't care how you get the message across; just shut this down!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-small wp-image-106848\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/but-asl.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"720\" height=\"720\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Phew! He tells her about how he'll always love Morwenna. That's right, Rosina! Go wave at someone else!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106896\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/push-rosina-poldark-out-of-car.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"320\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, gosh, he's still talking.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106838\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/stop-talking-emily-blunt-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"540\" height=\"361\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I like ye, take pleasure in your company, I can offer you a \u003cdel>barn\u003c/del> home, a hearth, a quiet, yet comfortable living.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106847\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/dont-say-it-dont-think-it-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"359\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He then tells her she can take some time to think his proposal over.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106871\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/make-it-stop-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"224\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Rosina replies, \"No, Drake.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-96487\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/meryl-j-lo-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, brother, I celebrated too soon. She's not done!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I need no time. You're a brave and honest man, and I believe our life together will be good.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106840\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/why-slam-head-on-desk-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"547\" height=\"308\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106842\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/spock-star-trek-sad-watching-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106841\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/upset-star-trek-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"250\" height=\"166\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I can't believe I gifted her a congratulatory Meryl Streep gif! I'm taking it back! I'm reversing it!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106839\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/reverse-meryl-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over in London, Blondie pretends she isn't as depressed as I am over Baby Sara by throwing a rager. Everyone is there, even Malfoy and Elizabeth. Why didn't the fiery hail I wished on them last week ever come?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106660\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-1020x520.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"326\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-1020x520.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-160x82.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-800x408.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-768x392.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-1200x612.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-1920x979.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-1180x602.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-960x489.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-240x122.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-375x191.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-520x265.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sending Liz down to hell also turned out to be ineffective!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106667\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/going-to-hell-gif-1.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"460\" height=\"304\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Wait a minute. Could it be possible that the weird memes I make have no real power or influence over what happens on this show?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106849\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/winona-math-emmys-weird-faces-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"374\" height=\"230\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anyway, enough about Malfoy and Elizabeth and more about Blondie's new piece of headwear!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106843\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/blondie-cool-hat-poldark.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"786\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/blondie-cool-hat-poldark.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/blondie-cool-hat-poldark-160x314.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/blondie-cool-hat-poldark-768x1509.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/blondie-cool-hat-poldark-611x1200.png 611w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/blondie-cool-hat-poldark-240x472.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/blondie-cool-hat-poldark-375x737.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/blondie-cool-hat-poldark-520x1022.png 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Again, it's important to give credit where credit is due.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106844\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/strawberry-shortcake-hat-1020x1360.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"667\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/strawberry-shortcake-hat-1020x1360.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/strawberry-shortcake-hat-160x213.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/strawberry-shortcake-hat-800x1067.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/strawberry-shortcake-hat-768x1024.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/strawberry-shortcake-hat-900x1200.jpg 900w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/strawberry-shortcake-hat-960x1280.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/strawberry-shortcake-hat-240x320.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/strawberry-shortcake-hat-375x500.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/strawberry-shortcake-hat-520x693.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/strawberry-shortcake-hat.jpg 1125w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in Cornwall, Demelza and Doc are starting to resent their spouses for abandoning them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Doc:\u003c/strong> \"Do you picture them ever, Ross and Blondie together in a world of which we have no part?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"Do you not sometimes wonder...\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Doc:\u003c/strong> \"...if they met each other before they met us...\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"...they'd be better matched?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Doc:\u003c/strong> \"Would we?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ooooo, this is an episode of \u003cem>Wife Swap\u003c/em> I would watch! When the cats are away, the mice will play (with each other's naked bodies on a sand dune)!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ugh, before I have a chance to fully picture it, Sam bursts in with news: Rosina said yes!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I know, Sam! Must you remind me?! Can I not have a single moment of joy in imagining Doc and Demelza swapping spit and horny poetry?!?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Blondie's party, Elizabeth ignores Ross for no reason, which backfires spectacularly when Sir Scam-A-Lot points out to Malfoy that Liz wasn't so cold to Ross the other night outside her house. Oops, was that supposed to be a secret?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106850\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/oops-teehee.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"449\" height=\"318\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy boils up inside and updates one of his mental lists:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>Reasons Why I've Dedicated My Life to Destroying Ross Poldark: \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003col>\n\u003cli>\u003cem>He put a frog in my pants that one time.\u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cem>If Herbal Essences existed and wanted to cast someone with gorgeous hair for a shampoo commercial, they would pick Ross over me.\u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cem>Everyone gets binoculars out when Ross swims or scythes half-naked. Everyone runs in fear when I simply undo my top button.\u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cem>Lil Ross is probably bigger than Lil Malfoy.\u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cem>He spoke to Elizabeth without my permission.\u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ol>\n\u003cp>Across the room, an entirely unbothered Ross gives Blondie a hard time for being a party animal and having a bunch of new, fake friends. Let the woman live, Ross! Carpe diem! Furantur vestimenta ex fragum parvulus laganum! (Yep, I cobbled together a very rough Latin translation of \"Steal clothes from Strawberry Shortcake.\")\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106851\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/tyra-typing.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"358\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, at yet another Blondie rager, Geoffrey Charles is about to get his drunk butt kicked by some rich dudes. Ever the savior, Ross steps in... and promptly gets sucker-punched in the nose! Not his face! There goes his future modeling career!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106852\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/marcia-nose.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"254\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As if Geoffrey Charles hasn't made enough of a mess of this party, he goes and does this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106853\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/geoffrey-charles-poldark-puke-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"266\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A person whose job is to clean up rich people puke appears. Never one to miss the opportunity to talk to a poor person, Ross engages Puke Cleaner-Upper in conversation and finds out this gig was the only way he could make ends meet. PCU's eagerness to scrub vomit out of a fancy carpet renews Ross' drive to pass a bill or something.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in Cornwall, Gross Goblin puts on a repulsive striptease for a terrified Morwenna. He announces: \"Let us say a little prayer and then you will submit to me.\" I hope that Puke Cleaner-Upper is still around 'cause I think I'm gonna...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106894\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/puke.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"227\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>How about we say a little prayer that Gross Goblin chokes on a foot and dies?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106873\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/titus-kimmy-schmidt-praying-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"457\" height=\"474\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The candles in Morwenna's bedroom go out, which I assume means she's getting raped again. This show is... a lot.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Jennifer Lawrence smiles to herself while she polishes and admires a new candlestick she bought with her toe jam money. Hope it was worth eternal damnation.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106874\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/welcome-to-hell-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"375\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Jennifer Lawrence's husband returns home earlier than expected, peeks through a window and gets an eyeful of all the kinky foot stuff his trifling wife and Gross Goblin have been up to.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106854\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/oh-my-eyes.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"220\" height=\"226\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106855\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/bleach-eyes-simpsons-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Pass the eye bleach 'cause I need it to sear the image of all these baby and kid-sized caskets in the next scene. Geez, we get it, \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> writers! The 19th-century was bleak! Message received! Like Ariana Grande, I've got no tears left to cry!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, good! Something nice to look at! Another fancy hat!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106858\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/Screen-Shot-2018-10-27-at-7.57.26-PM.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"597\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/Screen-Shot-2018-10-27-at-7.57.26-PM.png 678w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/Screen-Shot-2018-10-27-at-7.57.26-PM-160x191.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/Screen-Shot-2018-10-27-at-7.57.26-PM-240x287.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/Screen-Shot-2018-10-27-at-7.57.26-PM-375x448.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/Screen-Shot-2018-10-27-at-7.57.26-PM-520x621.png 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Snatched right from Strawberry Shortcake's closet!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106876\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-strawberry-enys-caroline.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"643\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-strawberry-enys-caroline.jpg 873w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-strawberry-enys-caroline-160x206.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-strawberry-enys-caroline-800x1028.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-strawberry-enys-caroline-768x987.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-strawberry-enys-caroline-240x308.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-strawberry-enys-caroline-375x482.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-strawberry-enys-caroline-520x668.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross gives Blondie a TED Talk about confronting the pain of losing a kid. \"We are taught to be strong, to portray no weakness, but the night [Julia died] I learned to be strong\u003cem> is\u003c/em> weakness. Pain should not be avoided. Tears must fall.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Didn't I just say that Blondie, Ariana Grande and I don't have any tears left to cry? Stop traumatizing us!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, great! More trauma in the form of Gross Goblin rolling off of a Morwenna. And to make matters worse, Morwenna's one true love is about to get married to Rosina!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106859\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/her.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"220\" height=\"220\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza helps Drake set up his bed for the wedding sex that'll take place there the following day. She again tries to brainwash him into believing that marrying someone you don't like that much is a good idea: \"In time, like Ross and me, love will grow.\" Mmhm, riiiight.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106860\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/keep-telling-yourself-that-romy-michele-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"257\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now that Gross Goblin is raping Morwenna again, he decides to cut off his quid-pro-toe-suck arrangement with Jennifer Lawrence. On his way home from her house, a masked man confronts him in the woods. It's Mr. Jennifer Lawrence! And he has a weapon! Lumiere, the fancy candlestick!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106861\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/lumiere-gif-beauty-beast.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"274\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mr. Jennifer Lawrence uses Lumiere to beat Gross Goblin off his horse! Gross Goblin's foot gets caught in one of the stirrups and the horse, whom we'll call Phillipe to stick with the \u003cem>Beauty and the Beast\u003c/em> theme, runs off and drags Gross Goblin through the woods and bangs his skull against a bunch of trees!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106878\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/kristen-bell-crying.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"233\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106879\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/waiting-for-this-moment.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"215\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What a beautiful sight. A foot-gobbling monster gets taken down by his own foot. Poetic justice is alive and well!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106877\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/so-used-to-giving-get-to-receive-cry-gif-big-brothere.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"200\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Gross Goblin is discovered DEAD!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106882\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/celebrating.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"376\" height=\"252\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tell Blondie and her friends to make some room at their party 'cause we're celebrating tonight!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106883\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/pour-drinks-drunk-party.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"540\" height=\"294\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106880\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/troll-dance-party.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"372\" height=\"254\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>OMG, this means that Morwenna is single again, just in time to speak or forever hold her peace at Drake's wedding!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cut to Drake putting flowers on what he thinks will be Rosina's pillow!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106881\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/NOT-ON-MY-WATCH-iyanla-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"357\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Drake, check Twitter! Your ex's dead husband is trending!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But who needs Twitter when Demelza is here to spread the news (bless her!).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Drake isn't as stoked as I'd thought he'd be, though.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Why tell me, sister? Why not keep me in the dark and let me wed that sweet, sweet girl?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106884\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/sorry-not-sorry-jennifer-lawrence.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"150\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I would feel bad for Rosina if I wasn't so busy mass-producing Drakenna / Morwennake merchandise. Why stop at tea sets?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106886\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swimsuit.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"742\" height=\"678\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swimsuit.png 742w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swimsuit-160x146.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swimsuit-240x219.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swimsuit-375x343.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swimsuit-520x475.png 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 742px) 100vw, 742px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106899\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/sheets.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"375\" height=\"452\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/sheets.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/sheets-160x193.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/sheets-240x289.jpg 240w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 375px) 100vw, 375px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106900\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1020x1020.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"640\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1020x1020.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-160x160.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-800x800.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-768x768.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1180x1180.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-960x960.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-240x240.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-375x375.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-520x520.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-50x50.jpg 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-150x150.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because he's a good, compassionate person, Drake finds Rosina skipping around with her bridesmaids and breaks up with her in person, instead of ditching her at the altar. I imagine he tells her he can't marry her like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106862\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/i-wish-i-could-but-i-dont-want-to-gif-phoebe-friends.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"377\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Everyone is horrified by the news.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Everyone except for me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38941\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-11.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"226\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Doc has a hallucination of Blondie holding Baby Sara.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106887\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/not-gonna-cry-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"249\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza disrupts his vision with the news that Drake has run away. She breaks down in Doc's embrace.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"I just wish somebody would take care of me.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Doc:\u003c/strong> \"Yes, Ross should be here.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"And Caroline.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But they're not, so maybe kiss? (Sorry, I live for the drama.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106888\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/shrug.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in London, Ross tries to convince Blondie to return to Cornwall with him. She's not wearing a hat this time, which I assume means that she received a cease and desist letter from Strawberry Shortcake.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Blondie explains to Ross that she couldn't weep for Baby Sara and that the experience of having her dead baby taken from her arms could only be numbed by getting hammered every night in London. She's gonna stay and do some more of that but wants Ross to know that his TED Talk helped and she has begun to weep again. Me too, girl.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19941\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/1361.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"250\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Gross Goblin's funeral (wow, I really enjoyed typing that!), Gross Goblin's Mama loudly announces that Morwenna is a bad mom and that she plans to adopt her child. Morwenna faints on the spot.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After she's resuscitated, Elizabeth and Malfoy walk over and pretend to be empathetic, but, after years of torture, Morwenna is not in the mood for fake @ssholes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Malfoy:\u003c/strong> \"You must feel the loss keenly.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Morwenna:\u003c/strong> \"I feel nothing but relief. I loathed him with every bone in my body. He sought to have me committed. He took away my son. He violated me...again...and again...and again.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elizabeth pretends to be shocked: \"I did not know! We could not have possibly known, cousin!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Malfoy:\u003c/strong> \"Our only thought was to provide you with an advantageous...\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Morwenna:\u003c/strong> \"ADVANTAGEOUS TO WHOM?!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yaaaas, queen, tell them!!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106889\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/speak-on-it-sis-preach.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"480\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Athlete's Foot Locker, Jennifer Lawrence and her husband agree to keep Lumiere a secret. Mr. Lawrence also agrees to pretend he doesn't now know how evil his wife really is.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza and company are all worried about where Drake is, but his whereabouts are obvious! He's where everyone goes when they're being drama queens: the crashing waves! Before you get too excited, he's fully clothed, so no gifs for you.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next morning, Drake wakes up outside of Morwenna's house. As luck would have it, she comes outside! He approaches her, but she can't even.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Morwenna:\u003c/strong> \"I cannot bear it! I'm sick! Tainted! It's done with! Ended! Please leave me now and never come back.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106897\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/push-drake-out-of-car-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"320\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As if this wasn't upsetting enough, Gross Goblin's Mama interrupts the reunion and orders her servants to horsewhip Drake and remove him from the premises! *adds Gross Goblin's Mama to my hit list*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, great. Malfoy is running around, spreading a rumor that Drake killed Gross Goblin.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106890\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/not-today-satan.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Will the kid ever catch a break?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Elizabeth catches wind of Malfoy's new evil plan, she doesn't go along with it for once: \"The man was a monster and we forced her to wed him. If you value my love, do not pursue Drake.\" Plus one point for her, which means she's now only at negative 92,371 points in my book.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy calls off the search, but has an evil Plan B. Recruit Rosina's upset dad and burn Drake's barn to the ground. If all of this insanity is going on in episode 5, I'm scared to think of what the writers are saving for the season finale!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, in front of the barn's ashes, Rosina tells Demelza she wishes Drake found out the truth right after they were married so he would be trapped in his vows to her forever. \"I know he would have never left me.\" Wow. Rosina sucks as much as I thought she did.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106891\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/youre-that-girl-i-knew-you-were-gif-alyssa.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"220\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She doesn't deserve Drake's love or a cool couple name!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At a cliff's edge, which is the second most popular place to be dramatic in Cornwall, Morwenna throws Drake's friendship (with very minor benefits) bracelet into the ocean. Are we really going to have to wait until the season finale to break out the Morwennake merch?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106892\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/were-waiting.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In London, Ross finally passes a bill to help poor people. That's great news! But the even better news is that his nose is healing quite nicely. Teen modeling career is back on!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106856\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/marcia-nose-better-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"262\" height=\"153\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Gross Goblin. \u003c/strong>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-19742\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/tumblr_n2dkpmzid11rfduvxo1_250.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"200\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: The Mine. \u003c/strong>For not being in this episode.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Puke Cleaner-Upper. \u003c/strong>Hopefully, the passage of the welfare bill means he won't have to spend his nights scooping up trust fund kids' half-digested corn.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: Drake and Morwenna. \u003c/strong>These two deserve a medal for all they've been through. They also deserve some of the profits from my soon-to-be very successful merchandise line. *gives self manicure with the official Morwennake nail clipper*\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: Lumiere\u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>Great work! Be our guest for however many episodes it takes to kill off all these evil jerks.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105803/poldark-season-4-episode-4-recap-cry-me-a-river\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 4 Recap: Cry Me A River\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105795/poldark-season-4-episode-3-recap-homeward-bound\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 3 Recap: Homeward Bound\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105791/poldark-season-4-episode-2-recap-ready-to-run\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 2 Recap: Ready to Run\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105789/poldark-season-4-premiere-recap-you-keep-me-hangin-on\">'Poldark' Season 4 Premiere Recap: You Keep Me Hangin' On\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/96601/poldark-season-3-finale-recap-look-what-you-made-me-do\">'Poldark' Season 3 Finale Recap: Look What You Made Me Do\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/13/poldark-season-3-episode-7-recap-i-wanna-sex-you-up/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: I Wanna Sex You Up\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/05/poldark-season-3-episode-6-recap-you-give-love-a-bad-name/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: You Give Love A Bad Name\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/29/poldark-season-3-episode-5-recap-the-one-that-got-away/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: The One That Got Away\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: Break Free\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin’ Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "So much insanity goes down in this episode, I'm scared to think of what the writers are saving for the season finale!",
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"description": "So much insanity goes down in this episode, I'm scared to think of what the writers are saving for the season finale!",
"title": "'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 5 Recap: No Tears Left To Cry | KQED",
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"headline": "'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 5 Recap: No Tears Left To Cry",
"datePublished": "2018-10-28T18:46:23-07:00",
"dateModified": "2018-10-28T18:48:33-07:00",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105803/poldark-season-4-episode-4-recap-cry-me-a-river\">the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, the show obliterated our emotions by killing off Baby Sara. That watching experience looked a little something like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106903\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/depressed-poldark-sara-death-die.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You'd think the writers would dial it down a few notches this week to let us catch our breath, dry our tears and experience a bit of joy again.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Nope! Not gonna happen! Take a seat, happiness.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106826\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/smiley-face-fall-down-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"169\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Children and their parents are dropping dead from hunger and fever, Ross' fellow politicians don't want to do anything about it, and Malfoy's stupid punchable face is back in the House of Commons.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106827\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/boy-am-i-depressed-i-need-a-cookie-golden-girls-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"381\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, thank goddess! Blondie is on the scene to distract us from all the bleakness with a shiny fashion moment! Would you look at that hat?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106831\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/werk-blondie.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"431\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/werk-blondie.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/werk-blondie-160x86.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/werk-blondie-768x414.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/werk-blondie-240x129.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/werk-blondie-375x202.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/werk-blondie-520x280.png 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Blondie wears it well, but let's give credit where credit is due.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106832\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/0f9a87d90bd8ca822498778ffe7ac8d2-strawberry-shortcake-cartoon-cartoon-picture.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"236\" height=\"288\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/0f9a87d90bd8ca822498778ffe7ac8d2-strawberry-shortcake-cartoon-cartoon-picture.jpg 236w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/0f9a87d90bd8ca822498778ffe7ac8d2-strawberry-shortcake-cartoon-cartoon-picture-160x195.jpg 160w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 236px) 100vw, 236px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I hope you enjoyed that very brief comedic detour because it's time to travel back to Bleakville. Doc asks Morwenna why she threatened to murder her kid that one time. She explains that the empty threat is the only ammo she has against Gross Goblin's \"attentions.\" #FreeMorwennasToes!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Drake's bachelor pad (okay, fine, the barn he lives in), Demelza is still on her mission to turn Drake and Rosina into an item worthy of a portmanteau couple name. Drosina? Rake?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>See? They don't belong together! Team Drakenna / Morwennake 4 Life! As the president of their official fan club, I vow to make a line of merchandise if they ever find a way to murder Gross Goblin and be together. You would buy a tea set with their faces on it, right?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106868\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/drake-tea-set-poldark.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"620\" height=\"526\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/drake-tea-set-poldark.jpg 620w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/drake-tea-set-poldark-160x136.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/drake-tea-set-poldark-240x204.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/drake-tea-set-poldark-375x318.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/drake-tea-set-poldark-520x441.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 620px) 100vw, 620px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Drake confesses that he thinks Rosina's habit of constantly following him around and waving is cute and all, but it's not love. Demelza tries to reassure him that you don't need to love the person you're going to spend all of eternity with.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-44499\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/10/publizity-wait-whet-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Oh, don't worry about actually loving the person you marry! Ross didn't love me at first; he only married me to make his ex jealous! And look at us now! Not living in the same house and barely recovering after two love affairs and a secret love child! Don't you want a piece of that?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Drake is too nice to actually say:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106846\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/no-thank-you-please-liz-lemon-tina-fey-30-rock-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Jennifer Lawrence is still wiggling her toes in Gross Goblin's face for money. Is anyone else beyond tired of this?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-102176\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/britney-yawn-bored.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"306\" height=\"200\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Like a parent forcing a child to eat broccoli, it's time for the \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> writers to force me to swallow even more of this Rosina storyline.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106870\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-rosina-no.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"631\" height=\"353\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106833\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/eat-it.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"540\" height=\"294\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Drake approaches Rosina and says, \"Ye must know that I have a liking for thee.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>PLEASE SAY \"BUT...\"! Here's how to say it in American Sign Language. I don't care how you get the message across; just shut this down!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-small wp-image-106848\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/but-asl.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"720\" height=\"720\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Phew! He tells her about how he'll always love Morwenna. That's right, Rosina! Go wave at someone else!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106896\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/push-rosina-poldark-out-of-car.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"320\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, gosh, he's still talking.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106838\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/stop-talking-emily-blunt-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"540\" height=\"361\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I like ye, take pleasure in your company, I can offer you a \u003cdel>barn\u003c/del> home, a hearth, a quiet, yet comfortable living.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106847\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/dont-say-it-dont-think-it-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"359\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>He then tells her she can take some time to think his proposal over.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106871\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/make-it-stop-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"224\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Rosina replies, \"No, Drake.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-96487\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/meryl-j-lo-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, brother, I celebrated too soon. She's not done!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I need no time. You're a brave and honest man, and I believe our life together will be good.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106840\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/why-slam-head-on-desk-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"547\" height=\"308\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106842\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/spock-star-trek-sad-watching-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106841\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/upset-star-trek-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"250\" height=\"166\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I can't believe I gifted her a congratulatory Meryl Streep gif! I'm taking it back! I'm reversing it!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106839\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/reverse-meryl-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over in London, Blondie pretends she isn't as depressed as I am over Baby Sara by throwing a rager. Everyone is there, even Malfoy and Elizabeth. Why didn't the fiery hail I wished on them last week ever come?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106660\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-1020x520.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"326\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-1020x520.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-160x82.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-800x408.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-768x392.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-1200x612.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-1920x979.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-1180x602.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-960x489.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-240x122.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-375x191.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-520x265.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sending Liz down to hell also turned out to be ineffective!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106667\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/going-to-hell-gif-1.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"460\" height=\"304\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Wait a minute. Could it be possible that the weird memes I make have no real power or influence over what happens on this show?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106849\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/winona-math-emmys-weird-faces-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"374\" height=\"230\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Anyway, enough about Malfoy and Elizabeth and more about Blondie's new piece of headwear!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106843\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/blondie-cool-hat-poldark.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"786\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/blondie-cool-hat-poldark.png 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/blondie-cool-hat-poldark-160x314.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/blondie-cool-hat-poldark-768x1509.png 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/blondie-cool-hat-poldark-611x1200.png 611w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/blondie-cool-hat-poldark-240x472.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/blondie-cool-hat-poldark-375x737.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/blondie-cool-hat-poldark-520x1022.png 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Again, it's important to give credit where credit is due.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106844\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/strawberry-shortcake-hat-1020x1360.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"667\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/strawberry-shortcake-hat-1020x1360.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/strawberry-shortcake-hat-160x213.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/strawberry-shortcake-hat-800x1067.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/strawberry-shortcake-hat-768x1024.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/strawberry-shortcake-hat-900x1200.jpg 900w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/strawberry-shortcake-hat-960x1280.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/strawberry-shortcake-hat-240x320.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/strawberry-shortcake-hat-375x500.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/strawberry-shortcake-hat-520x693.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/strawberry-shortcake-hat.jpg 1125w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in Cornwall, Demelza and Doc are starting to resent their spouses for abandoning them.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Doc:\u003c/strong> \"Do you picture them ever, Ross and Blondie together in a world of which we have no part?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"Do you not sometimes wonder...\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Doc:\u003c/strong> \"...if they met each other before they met us...\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"...they'd be better matched?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Doc:\u003c/strong> \"Would we?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ooooo, this is an episode of \u003cem>Wife Swap\u003c/em> I would watch! When the cats are away, the mice will play (with each other's naked bodies on a sand dune)!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ugh, before I have a chance to fully picture it, Sam bursts in with news: Rosina said yes!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I know, Sam! Must you remind me?! Can I not have a single moment of joy in imagining Doc and Demelza swapping spit and horny poetry?!?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Blondie's party, Elizabeth ignores Ross for no reason, which backfires spectacularly when Sir Scam-A-Lot points out to Malfoy that Liz wasn't so cold to Ross the other night outside her house. Oops, was that supposed to be a secret?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106850\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/oops-teehee.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"449\" height=\"318\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy boils up inside and updates one of his mental lists:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>Reasons Why I've Dedicated My Life to Destroying Ross Poldark: \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003col>\n\u003cli>\u003cem>He put a frog in my pants that one time.\u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cem>If Herbal Essences existed and wanted to cast someone with gorgeous hair for a shampoo commercial, they would pick Ross over me.\u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cem>Everyone gets binoculars out when Ross swims or scythes half-naked. Everyone runs in fear when I simply undo my top button.\u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cem>Lil Ross is probably bigger than Lil Malfoy.\u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cem>He spoke to Elizabeth without my permission.\u003c/em>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ol>\n\u003cp>Across the room, an entirely unbothered Ross gives Blondie a hard time for being a party animal and having a bunch of new, fake friends. Let the woman live, Ross! Carpe diem! Furantur vestimenta ex fragum parvulus laganum! (Yep, I cobbled together a very rough Latin translation of \"Steal clothes from Strawberry Shortcake.\")\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106851\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/tyra-typing.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"358\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, at yet another Blondie rager, Geoffrey Charles is about to get his drunk butt kicked by some rich dudes. Ever the savior, Ross steps in... and promptly gets sucker-punched in the nose! Not his face! There goes his future modeling career!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106852\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/marcia-nose.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"254\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As if Geoffrey Charles hasn't made enough of a mess of this party, he goes and does this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106853\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/geoffrey-charles-poldark-puke-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"266\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A person whose job is to clean up rich people puke appears. Never one to miss the opportunity to talk to a poor person, Ross engages Puke Cleaner-Upper in conversation and finds out this gig was the only way he could make ends meet. PCU's eagerness to scrub vomit out of a fancy carpet renews Ross' drive to pass a bill or something.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in Cornwall, Gross Goblin puts on a repulsive striptease for a terrified Morwenna. He announces: \"Let us say a little prayer and then you will submit to me.\" I hope that Puke Cleaner-Upper is still around 'cause I think I'm gonna...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106894\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/puke.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"227\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>How about we say a little prayer that Gross Goblin chokes on a foot and dies?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106873\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/titus-kimmy-schmidt-praying-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"457\" height=\"474\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The candles in Morwenna's bedroom go out, which I assume means she's getting raped again. This show is... a lot.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Jennifer Lawrence smiles to herself while she polishes and admires a new candlestick she bought with her toe jam money. Hope it was worth eternal damnation.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106874\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/welcome-to-hell-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"375\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Jennifer Lawrence's husband returns home earlier than expected, peeks through a window and gets an eyeful of all the kinky foot stuff his trifling wife and Gross Goblin have been up to.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106854\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/oh-my-eyes.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"220\" height=\"226\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106855\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/bleach-eyes-simpsons-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Pass the eye bleach 'cause I need it to sear the image of all these baby and kid-sized caskets in the next scene. Geez, we get it, \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> writers! The 19th-century was bleak! Message received! Like Ariana Grande, I've got no tears left to cry!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, good! Something nice to look at! Another fancy hat!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106858\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/Screen-Shot-2018-10-27-at-7.57.26-PM.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"597\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/Screen-Shot-2018-10-27-at-7.57.26-PM.png 678w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/Screen-Shot-2018-10-27-at-7.57.26-PM-160x191.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/Screen-Shot-2018-10-27-at-7.57.26-PM-240x287.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/Screen-Shot-2018-10-27-at-7.57.26-PM-375x448.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/Screen-Shot-2018-10-27-at-7.57.26-PM-520x621.png 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Snatched right from Strawberry Shortcake's closet!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106876\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-strawberry-enys-caroline.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"643\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-strawberry-enys-caroline.jpg 873w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-strawberry-enys-caroline-160x206.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-strawberry-enys-caroline-800x1028.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-strawberry-enys-caroline-768x987.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-strawberry-enys-caroline-240x308.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-strawberry-enys-caroline-375x482.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-strawberry-enys-caroline-520x668.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross gives Blondie a TED Talk about confronting the pain of losing a kid. \"We are taught to be strong, to portray no weakness, but the night [Julia died] I learned to be strong\u003cem> is\u003c/em> weakness. Pain should not be avoided. Tears must fall.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Didn't I just say that Blondie, Ariana Grande and I don't have any tears left to cry? Stop traumatizing us!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, great! More trauma in the form of Gross Goblin rolling off of a Morwenna. And to make matters worse, Morwenna's one true love is about to get married to Rosina!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106859\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/her.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"220\" height=\"220\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza helps Drake set up his bed for the wedding sex that'll take place there the following day. She again tries to brainwash him into believing that marrying someone you don't like that much is a good idea: \"In time, like Ross and me, love will grow.\" Mmhm, riiiight.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106860\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/keep-telling-yourself-that-romy-michele-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"257\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now that Gross Goblin is raping Morwenna again, he decides to cut off his quid-pro-toe-suck arrangement with Jennifer Lawrence. On his way home from her house, a masked man confronts him in the woods. It's Mr. Jennifer Lawrence! And he has a weapon! Lumiere, the fancy candlestick!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106861\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/lumiere-gif-beauty-beast.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"274\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mr. Jennifer Lawrence uses Lumiere to beat Gross Goblin off his horse! Gross Goblin's foot gets caught in one of the stirrups and the horse, whom we'll call Phillipe to stick with the \u003cem>Beauty and the Beast\u003c/em> theme, runs off and drags Gross Goblin through the woods and bangs his skull against a bunch of trees!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106878\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/kristen-bell-crying.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"233\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106879\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/waiting-for-this-moment.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"215\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What a beautiful sight. A foot-gobbling monster gets taken down by his own foot. Poetic justice is alive and well!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106877\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/so-used-to-giving-get-to-receive-cry-gif-big-brothere.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"200\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Gross Goblin is discovered DEAD!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106882\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/celebrating.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"376\" height=\"252\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Tell Blondie and her friends to make some room at their party 'cause we're celebrating tonight!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106883\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/pour-drinks-drunk-party.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"540\" height=\"294\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106880\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/troll-dance-party.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"372\" height=\"254\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>OMG, this means that Morwenna is single again, just in time to speak or forever hold her peace at Drake's wedding!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Cut to Drake putting flowers on what he thinks will be Rosina's pillow!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106881\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/NOT-ON-MY-WATCH-iyanla-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"357\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Drake, check Twitter! Your ex's dead husband is trending!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But who needs Twitter when Demelza is here to spread the news (bless her!).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Drake isn't as stoked as I'd thought he'd be, though.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"Why tell me, sister? Why not keep me in the dark and let me wed that sweet, sweet girl?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106884\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/sorry-not-sorry-jennifer-lawrence.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"150\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I would feel bad for Rosina if I wasn't so busy mass-producing Drakenna / Morwennake merchandise. Why stop at tea sets?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106886\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swimsuit.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"742\" height=\"678\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swimsuit.png 742w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swimsuit-160x146.png 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swimsuit-240x219.png 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swimsuit-375x343.png 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swimsuit-520x475.png 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 742px) 100vw, 742px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106899\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/sheets.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"375\" height=\"452\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/sheets.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/sheets-160x193.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/sheets-240x289.jpg 240w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 375px) 100vw, 375px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106900\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1020x1020.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"640\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1020x1020.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-160x160.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-800x800.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-768x768.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1200x1200.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-1180x1180.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-960x960.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-240x240.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-375x375.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-520x520.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-50x50.jpg 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/053_Pro-Performance-Nail-Clipper-Detail-Image-2-copy-150x150.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because he's a good, compassionate person, Drake finds Rosina skipping around with her bridesmaids and breaks up with her in person, instead of ditching her at the altar. I imagine he tells her he can't marry her like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106862\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/i-wish-i-could-but-i-dont-want-to-gif-phoebe-friends.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"377\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Everyone is horrified by the news.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Everyone except for me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38941\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/giphy-11.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"226\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Doc has a hallucination of Blondie holding Baby Sara.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106887\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/not-gonna-cry-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"249\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza disrupts his vision with the news that Drake has run away. She breaks down in Doc's embrace.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"I just wish somebody would take care of me.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Doc:\u003c/strong> \"Yes, Ross should be here.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"And Caroline.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But they're not, so maybe kiss? (Sorry, I live for the drama.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106888\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/shrug.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in London, Ross tries to convince Blondie to return to Cornwall with him. She's not wearing a hat this time, which I assume means that she received a cease and desist letter from Strawberry Shortcake.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Blondie explains to Ross that she couldn't weep for Baby Sara and that the experience of having her dead baby taken from her arms could only be numbed by getting hammered every night in London. She's gonna stay and do some more of that but wants Ross to know that his TED Talk helped and she has begun to weep again. Me too, girl.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-19941\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/1361.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"250\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Gross Goblin's funeral (wow, I really enjoyed typing that!), Gross Goblin's Mama loudly announces that Morwenna is a bad mom and that she plans to adopt her child. Morwenna faints on the spot.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After she's resuscitated, Elizabeth and Malfoy walk over and pretend to be empathetic, but, after years of torture, Morwenna is not in the mood for fake @ssholes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Malfoy:\u003c/strong> \"You must feel the loss keenly.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Morwenna:\u003c/strong> \"I feel nothing but relief. I loathed him with every bone in my body. He sought to have me committed. He took away my son. He violated me...again...and again...and again.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elizabeth pretends to be shocked: \"I did not know! We could not have possibly known, cousin!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Malfoy:\u003c/strong> \"Our only thought was to provide you with an advantageous...\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Morwenna:\u003c/strong> \"ADVANTAGEOUS TO WHOM?!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Yaaaas, queen, tell them!!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106889\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/speak-on-it-sis-preach.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"480\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Athlete's Foot Locker, Jennifer Lawrence and her husband agree to keep Lumiere a secret. Mr. Lawrence also agrees to pretend he doesn't now know how evil his wife really is.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza and company are all worried about where Drake is, but his whereabouts are obvious! He's where everyone goes when they're being drama queens: the crashing waves! Before you get too excited, he's fully clothed, so no gifs for you.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next morning, Drake wakes up outside of Morwenna's house. As luck would have it, she comes outside! He approaches her, but she can't even.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Morwenna:\u003c/strong> \"I cannot bear it! I'm sick! Tainted! It's done with! Ended! Please leave me now and never come back.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106897\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/push-drake-out-of-car-poldark.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"320\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As if this wasn't upsetting enough, Gross Goblin's Mama interrupts the reunion and orders her servants to horsewhip Drake and remove him from the premises! *adds Gross Goblin's Mama to my hit list*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, great. Malfoy is running around, spreading a rumor that Drake killed Gross Goblin.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106890\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/not-today-satan.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Will the kid ever catch a break?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Elizabeth catches wind of Malfoy's new evil plan, she doesn't go along with it for once: \"The man was a monster and we forced her to wed him. If you value my love, do not pursue Drake.\" Plus one point for her, which means she's now only at negative 92,371 points in my book.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy calls off the search, but has an evil Plan B. Recruit Rosina's upset dad and burn Drake's barn to the ground. If all of this insanity is going on in episode 5, I'm scared to think of what the writers are saving for the season finale!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, in front of the barn's ashes, Rosina tells Demelza she wishes Drake found out the truth right after they were married so he would be trapped in his vows to her forever. \"I know he would have never left me.\" Wow. Rosina sucks as much as I thought she did.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106891\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/youre-that-girl-i-knew-you-were-gif-alyssa.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"220\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She doesn't deserve Drake's love or a cool couple name!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At a cliff's edge, which is the second most popular place to be dramatic in Cornwall, Morwenna throws Drake's friendship (with very minor benefits) bracelet into the ocean. Are we really going to have to wait until the season finale to break out the Morwennake merch?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106892\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/were-waiting.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In London, Ross finally passes a bill to help poor people. That's great news! But the even better news is that his nose is healing quite nicely. Teen modeling career is back on!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106856\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/marcia-nose-better-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"262\" height=\"153\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Gross Goblin. \u003c/strong>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-19742\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/01/tumblr_n2dkpmzid11rfduvxo1_250.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"200\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: The Mine. \u003c/strong>For not being in this episode.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Puke Cleaner-Upper. \u003c/strong>Hopefully, the passage of the welfare bill means he won't have to spend his nights scooping up trust fund kids' half-digested corn.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: Drake and Morwenna. \u003c/strong>These two deserve a medal for all they've been through. They also deserve some of the profits from my soon-to-be very successful merchandise line. *gives self manicure with the official Morwennake nail clipper*\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: Lumiere\u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>Great work! Be our guest for however many episodes it takes to kill off all these evil jerks.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105803/poldark-season-4-episode-4-recap-cry-me-a-river\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 4 Recap: Cry Me A River\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105795/poldark-season-4-episode-3-recap-homeward-bound\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 3 Recap: Homeward Bound\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105791/poldark-season-4-episode-2-recap-ready-to-run\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 2 Recap: Ready to Run\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105789/poldark-season-4-premiere-recap-you-keep-me-hangin-on\">'Poldark' Season 4 Premiere Recap: You Keep Me Hangin' On\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/96601/poldark-season-3-finale-recap-look-what-you-made-me-do\">'Poldark' Season 3 Finale Recap: Look What You Made Me Do\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/13/poldark-season-3-episode-7-recap-i-wanna-sex-you-up/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: I Wanna Sex You Up\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/05/poldark-season-3-episode-6-recap-you-give-love-a-bad-name/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: You Give Love A Bad Name\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/29/poldark-season-3-episode-5-recap-the-one-that-got-away/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: The One That Got Away\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: Break Free\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 4 Recap: Cry Me A River",
"title": "'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 4 Recap: Cry Me A River",
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"content": "\u003cp>In\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105795/poldark-season-4-episode-3-recap-homeward-bound\"> the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Demelza tried to make \u003cdel>fetch\u003c/del> Rosina and Drake happen, Blondie gave birth and continued to workshop jokes for her one-woman show\u003cem> Kids Are The Absolute Worst\u003c/em>, and Ross made up for hanging out with his ex by sexing Demelza all over the kitchen table. Will Rosina and Morwenna vie for Drake's final rose in a very special 18th-century version of \u003cem>The Bachelor\u003c/em>? Will plugging our ears and saying \"LA LA LA\" really loudly stop whatever terrible thing is about to happen to Blondie's baby? Will the Poldarks need to decipher Swedish pictograph instructions to build a replacement kitchen table for the one they desecrated with all their boinking? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We... okay, I... asked for more smack-talking about children. And less than 10 seconds into this episode, Blondie is supplying in spades! Looking down on Baby Sara's cherubic face, she asks, \"Is this creature not provoking, boring me to tears with her endless smiles? I live for the day the little beast runs away. I tell her I shan't miss her at all.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This would be a real knee-slapper if Baby Sara wasn't slowly dying and all.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106623\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/princess-diaries-anne-hathaway-fan-face-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"275\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Understandably, Doc does not find the joke funny.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the inside, he's thinking:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106629\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/way-harsh-blondie.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"475\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But since whatever's wrong with Baby Sara is still a secret, all he can do is quietly choke back a sob and walk away.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106636\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/brb-gtg-sob.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Malfoy is busy doing what he does best: throwing a deranged Veruca Salt-sized tantrum. This time, it's about being voted out of Parliament. It's really hard to be an uber-rich white man, you guys!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Malfoy:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Waaaahhhhhhh. It's 'cause my grandfather was a blacksmith, isn't it?!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Elizabeth:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Um, no, I'm pretty sure people just despise everything else about you. Oh, and because I live to stir the pot and make everything worse, here's a fun fact: A little birdie told me that Demelza got your donor drunk and convinced him to rethink supporting evil jerks like you. Another reason to plot against my ex! Yay! I have no life and am dead inside!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza's name immediately makes Malfoy's eyelid twitch. He yells that she's an \"impudent kitchen troll.\" As someone who enjoyed a modest collection of Troll dolls in the '90s, I consider that a compliment.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106631\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/demelza-troll.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"334\" height=\"500\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/demelza-troll.jpg 334w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/demelza-troll-160x240.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/demelza-troll-240x359.jpg 240w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 334px) 100vw, 334px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Who needs mining when you're born with a precious jewel inside your belly button?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the edge of a cliff, Doc holds Baby Sara and looks like he just watched Bambi's mom get shot \u003cem>and\u003c/em> the end of \u003cem>A Star Is Born\u003c/em> back to back. Judging by Baby Sara's facial expression, she is harshly judging the writers for bringing her into this world, only to potentially kill her off as unceremoniously as a \u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em> character.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106633\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/WTF-i-just-got-here-poldark-baby-sarah-doctor-ennis.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Doc whispers, \"Stay a little while longer.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sorry. I'll be right back. Some dust got in my eye. *goes into the next room and cries into a pillow so my neighbors won't hear*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106634\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/im-emotional-right-now-britney.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"360\" height=\"212\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at chez Poldark, out of nowhere, Demelza asks Ross if he thinks they will ever truly mend their relationship. Good god, I am getting tired of these constant intense couples therapy sessions! He cheated. She cheated. Horny poetry was exchanged. It's over. Let's move on!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106638\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/enough-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"244\" height=\"160\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, wow, it's like Ross and Demelza heard me 'cause they decide to stop talking about feelings and just have some more sex. That's more like it!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106639\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/proud-of-you-thumbs-up-compute-kid-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"360\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Ross quickly learns that being a politician isn't exactly the Robin Hood steal-from-the-rich-give-to-the-poor dream he had in mind. His donor is already trying to control his vote on certain matters. Welcome to the swamp, Ross!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106640\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swamp-monkey-walk-cute-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"230\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, at the mine, Ross runs into Doc and asks why he always looks like this lately:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-98835\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/01/baby-cry-mask.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"352\" height=\"193\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Doc confesses that Baby Sara has a congenital heart defect (NO!) and will for sure die (STOP!).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106665\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/charlotte-sex-and-the-city-poldark-horace-baby-sarah-death.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"249\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Umm, awkward confession time: This might kind of be my fault. Remember when I was really against Blondie betraying her only child, Horace the Pug, by having a human child? Maybe all that advocating led to this? *Steve Urkel voice* \u003cem>Did I do thaaat?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106624\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/my-bad-clueless-cher-driving-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"414\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Morwenna's house, things just keep getting bleaker. Not only has Gross Goblin's mom practically moved in, but Elizabeth also pays a visit.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106645\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/get-out-buffy-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elizabeth tells Morwenna that she thinks the way Mama Goblin terrorizes the nanny is strange. You know what's strange, Liz? The fact that you married off this poor girl to a toe-snacking rapist and have the audacity to pop on over for tea like it ain't no thing. Hell, party of one. We'll seat you now.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106667\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/going-to-hell-gif-1.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"460\" height=\"304\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For what feels like the 8,432nd episode in a row, Jennifer Lawrence puts her feet in Gross Goblin's mouth for money. Yawn.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In addition to being terrible at...well, basic humanity, Gross Goblin is also terrible at not being caught sucking on someone else's wife's toes. While leaving Jennifer Lawrence's crack den, he is spotted not just by Elizabeth, but by Jennifer Lawrence's husband too!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106625\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/congarts-you-suck-obama.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"306\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Geoffrey Charles pays a visit to Drake and yammers on about Morwenna. Drake shrugs and says, \"Life must go on,\" followed by a shot of Rosina waving. Once again, dear \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> writers:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106483\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/stop-trying-to-make-rosina-happen-gif-mean-girls.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"198\" height=\"211\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Is roaming the space around Drake and waving all this girl does? Get a hobby!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Demelza forces Drake to walk Rosina home again, but this time, Sam doesn't go along to act as a human prophylactic. Rosina says people might get the wrong idea and think they're dating. Drake smiles and says he's okay with that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106647\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/i-hate-this-30-rock-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"284\" height=\"196\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106626\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/very-upset-about-this-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"254\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Gross Goblin hatches a new plan to get even with Morwenna for denying him access to her feet; he plans to have her institutionalized. Can evil take a single afternoon off? I am exhausted.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106648\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/leave-morwenna-britney-alone-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"240\" height=\"162\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Evil just got back to me about taking the afternoon off. It's a hard no. Baby Sara has developed a cough. So far, she's beating back the Grim Reaper.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106641\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/carrie-sex-and-the-city-flower-gif-movie-mr-big.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"249\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Keep up the good fight, little one!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Gross Goblin tries to get Doc to say that Morwenna is bonkers enough to lock away forever. Really not in the mood for this kind of nonsense today, Doc eviscerates Gross Goblin: \"I cannot help you, sir, nor do I wish to. It is my humble opinion that if a husband cannot win his wife by loving, kindness and sympathy, then he deserves to go without her. I bid you a good day!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In case you're not fluent in overly-polite British, here's a translation:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106650\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/middle-finger-surprise-cross-bow-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"360\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I usually skip all the mining plotlines because zzzzzzzzzzz, but something important is actually happening down there for once. Ross plans to save the mine from bankruptcy by digging into new territory he thinks holds valuable minerals or whatever. Instead, he and Sam strike... a bunch of water! The mine starts to flood and everyone is in danger of drowning to death! Good going, guys! The homicidal puddle that murdered Francis is back for more!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A challenger for Gross Goblin's Bad At Everything title emerges in the form of some dude named Bobby. While trying to escape from the mine, he slips from the ladder, belly flops into deep water and then sinks to the bottom just in time for a random cart of rocks to fall on his leg. Oy vey.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106651\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/get-your-shit-together-star-trek-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"280\" height=\"210\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross eventually frees him, and Doc manages to bring him back to life via mouth-to-mouth. That's great for Bobby and all, but will Doc be able to save Baby Sara?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106652\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/praying-crying-how-to-get-away-with-murder-gif-viola-davis.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"275\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of which, Blondie finally knows about Baby Sara's condition and the prognosis gets even worse: Baby Sara will be dead in a matter of hours.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106653\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/why-conan-crying-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Blondie is all out of jokes. \"I never wanted this wretched creature, but over the months, she has wormed her way into my affections, supplanting even poor Horace.\" (Considering the situation, I'll allow the demotion.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Asked whether Blondie wants Demelza to come over for support, she says, \"No, I am a hard woman and can fend for myself. I believe Demelza would cry, and that I fear would undo us all.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97507\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/bethenny-cry.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"260\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza or no Demelza, I am undone. Baby Sara passes away that night.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-102001\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/jujubee-eyelash-crying.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"220\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I held most of the tears back until I saw that little black casket. Then the floodgates really opened.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106654\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/beyonce-flood-gates-water-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"266\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>R.I.P. Horace's lil sis! I'm sorry I hated on the idea of you. Please say hi to Agatha and Prison Bestie and Jago and Julia for me. No need to say anything to Francis.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After the funeral, Ross interrupts Demelza's weeping with yet another helping of jealousy over Prison Bestie. Is he serious?! At a time like this?!? As if that wasn't ridiculous enough, he then yells in Demelza's face about how he doesn't like his new job. \u003cem>Boo hoo, being one of the most powerful men in the country isn't as fun as I thought it would be! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Everyone grieves in their own way, but this is one of the dumbest. Get over yourself, dude! Baby Sara is dead and your grumpiness over work and your insecurity over a one-off sand-dune-boogie is all you can think about?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Just in case we needed another reminder of evil never resting, Malfoy and Elizabeth share idiotic grins over how they managed to buy their way back into Parliament. This would be a good time for a Biblical plague to hit their house. Let's not do frogs again. Death of the firstborn just happened, so let's skip that too. Locusts, biting insects, livestock disease, darkness and a river turning into blood won't do either. So fiery hail it is!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106660\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-1020x520.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"326\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-1020x520.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-160x82.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-800x408.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-768x392.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-1200x612.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-1920x979.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-1180x602.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-960x489.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-240x122.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-375x191.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-520x265.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That's for...well, everything, but especially for not letting Agatha lie about her age and have a fun, boozy birthday party!!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A few days later, Blondie decides to leave Doc and move to London so she can learn to forget the loss of Baby Sara. Uh oh, there go the floodgates again!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106654\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/beyonce-flood-gates-water-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"266\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My face had just dried! Ugh!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At last, we get a reward for surviving all of this emotional devastation. Ding dong, it's HORACE O'CLOCK! And not a moment too soon! A much-needed rainbow after this sh*t-storm of an episode.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106659\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/horace-pug-poldark-carriage-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"268\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Find someone who looks at you the way Doc looks at Horace.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106658\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/smile-horace-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"268\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>(Yes, I do realize he's actually looking at Blondie. Let me have my fun during this emotional time!)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While leaving Cornwall maybe forever, Blondie tells Doc, \"Do your best not to miss Horace.\" Ok, Blondie, we'll try.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106655\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/sad-wilfred-doctor-who-crying-old-man-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"147\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>OMG, another Rosina scene?? NOT NOW.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Since the fiery hail hasn't actually arrived yet, I guess I'll settle for Ross randomly destroying Malfoy's No Trespassing property fence. Obliterate it, Ross!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106657\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/destroy-door-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"161\" height=\"120\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The animated gif above also serves as an allegory for what this episode has done to my emotions and overall mental health.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: The Grim Reaper. \u003c/strong>So many evil people to choose from and he snatches up a baby named after one of my favorite Fleetwood Mac songs?! The gall!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: Bobby. \u003c/strong>Congrats on not being dead or whatever.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Morwenna. \u003c/strong>Hang in there, girl.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: Baby Sara. \u003c/strong>*unintelligible parting message drowned out by all the crying*\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: Blondie\u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>The best character on this entire show deserves much better than this. Like a happy-go-lucky spin-off, which follows her, Horace and Oscar Wilde, as they joke and party their way all over London. Make it happen, Masterpiece!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105805/poldark-season-4-episode-5-recap-no-tears-left-to-cry\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 5 Recap: No Tears Left To Cry\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105795/poldark-season-4-episode-3-recap-homeward-bound\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 3 Recap: Homeward Bound\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105791/poldark-season-4-episode-2-recap-ready-to-run\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 2 Recap: Ready to Run\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105789/poldark-season-4-premiere-recap-you-keep-me-hangin-on\">'Poldark' Season 4 Premiere Recap: You Keep Me Hangin' On\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/96601/poldark-season-3-finale-recap-look-what-you-made-me-do\">'Poldark' Season 3 Finale Recap: Look What You Made Me Do\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/13/poldark-season-3-episode-7-recap-i-wanna-sex-you-up/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: I Wanna Sex You Up\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/05/poldark-season-3-episode-6-recap-you-give-love-a-bad-name/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: You Give Love A Bad Name\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/29/poldark-season-3-episode-5-recap-the-one-that-got-away/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: The One That Got Away\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: Break Free\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin’ Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"description": "In the previous episode of Poldark, Demelza tried to make fetch Rosina and Drake happen, Blondie gave birth and continued to workshop jokes for her one-woman show Kids Are The Absolute Worst, and Ross made up for hanging out with his ex by sexing Demelza all over the kitchen table. Will Rosina and Morwenna vie",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>In\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105795/poldark-season-4-episode-3-recap-homeward-bound\"> the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Demelza tried to make \u003cdel>fetch\u003c/del> Rosina and Drake happen, Blondie gave birth and continued to workshop jokes for her one-woman show\u003cem> Kids Are The Absolute Worst\u003c/em>, and Ross made up for hanging out with his ex by sexing Demelza all over the kitchen table. Will Rosina and Morwenna vie for Drake's final rose in a very special 18th-century version of \u003cem>The Bachelor\u003c/em>? Will plugging our ears and saying \"LA LA LA\" really loudly stop whatever terrible thing is about to happen to Blondie's baby? Will the Poldarks need to decipher Swedish pictograph instructions to build a replacement kitchen table for the one they desecrated with all their boinking? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We... okay, I... asked for more smack-talking about children. And less than 10 seconds into this episode, Blondie is supplying in spades! Looking down on Baby Sara's cherubic face, she asks, \"Is this creature not provoking, boring me to tears with her endless smiles? I live for the day the little beast runs away. I tell her I shan't miss her at all.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This would be a real knee-slapper if Baby Sara wasn't slowly dying and all.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106623\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/princess-diaries-anne-hathaway-fan-face-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"275\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Understandably, Doc does not find the joke funny.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the inside, he's thinking:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106629\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/way-harsh-blondie.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"475\" height=\"267\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But since whatever's wrong with Baby Sara is still a secret, all he can do is quietly choke back a sob and walk away.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106636\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/brb-gtg-sob.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Malfoy is busy doing what he does best: throwing a deranged Veruca Salt-sized tantrum. This time, it's about being voted out of Parliament. It's really hard to be an uber-rich white man, you guys!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Malfoy:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Waaaahhhhhhh. It's 'cause my grandfather was a blacksmith, isn't it?!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Elizabeth:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Um, no, I'm pretty sure people just despise everything else about you. Oh, and because I live to stir the pot and make everything worse, here's a fun fact: A little birdie told me that Demelza got your donor drunk and convinced him to rethink supporting evil jerks like you. Another reason to plot against my ex! Yay! I have no life and am dead inside!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza's name immediately makes Malfoy's eyelid twitch. He yells that she's an \"impudent kitchen troll.\" As someone who enjoyed a modest collection of Troll dolls in the '90s, I consider that a compliment.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106631\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/demelza-troll.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"334\" height=\"500\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/demelza-troll.jpg 334w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/demelza-troll-160x240.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/demelza-troll-240x359.jpg 240w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 334px) 100vw, 334px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Who needs mining when you're born with a precious jewel inside your belly button?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the edge of a cliff, Doc holds Baby Sara and looks like he just watched Bambi's mom get shot \u003cem>and\u003c/em> the end of \u003cem>A Star Is Born\u003c/em> back to back. Judging by Baby Sara's facial expression, she is harshly judging the writers for bringing her into this world, only to potentially kill her off as unceremoniously as a \u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em> character.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106633\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/WTF-i-just-got-here-poldark-baby-sarah-doctor-ennis.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Doc whispers, \"Stay a little while longer.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sorry. I'll be right back. Some dust got in my eye. *goes into the next room and cries into a pillow so my neighbors won't hear*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106634\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/im-emotional-right-now-britney.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"360\" height=\"212\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at chez Poldark, out of nowhere, Demelza asks Ross if he thinks they will ever truly mend their relationship. Good god, I am getting tired of these constant intense couples therapy sessions! He cheated. She cheated. Horny poetry was exchanged. It's over. Let's move on!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106638\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/enough-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"244\" height=\"160\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, wow, it's like Ross and Demelza heard me 'cause they decide to stop talking about feelings and just have some more sex. That's more like it!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106639\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/proud-of-you-thumbs-up-compute-kid-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"360\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Ross quickly learns that being a politician isn't exactly the Robin Hood steal-from-the-rich-give-to-the-poor dream he had in mind. His donor is already trying to control his vote on certain matters. Welcome to the swamp, Ross!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106640\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/swamp-monkey-walk-cute-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"230\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, at the mine, Ross runs into Doc and asks why he always looks like this lately:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-98835\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/01/baby-cry-mask.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"352\" height=\"193\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Doc confesses that Baby Sara has a congenital heart defect (NO!) and will for sure die (STOP!).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106665\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/charlotte-sex-and-the-city-poldark-horace-baby-sarah-death.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"249\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Umm, awkward confession time: This might kind of be my fault. Remember when I was really against Blondie betraying her only child, Horace the Pug, by having a human child? Maybe all that advocating led to this? *Steve Urkel voice* \u003cem>Did I do thaaat?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106624\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/my-bad-clueless-cher-driving-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"414\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Morwenna's house, things just keep getting bleaker. Not only has Gross Goblin's mom practically moved in, but Elizabeth also pays a visit.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106645\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/get-out-buffy-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elizabeth tells Morwenna that she thinks the way Mama Goblin terrorizes the nanny is strange. You know what's strange, Liz? The fact that you married off this poor girl to a toe-snacking rapist and have the audacity to pop on over for tea like it ain't no thing. Hell, party of one. We'll seat you now.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106667\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/going-to-hell-gif-1.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"460\" height=\"304\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For what feels like the 8,432nd episode in a row, Jennifer Lawrence puts her feet in Gross Goblin's mouth for money. Yawn.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In addition to being terrible at...well, basic humanity, Gross Goblin is also terrible at not being caught sucking on someone else's wife's toes. While leaving Jennifer Lawrence's crack den, he is spotted not just by Elizabeth, but by Jennifer Lawrence's husband too!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106625\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/congarts-you-suck-obama.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"306\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Geoffrey Charles pays a visit to Drake and yammers on about Morwenna. Drake shrugs and says, \"Life must go on,\" followed by a shot of Rosina waving. Once again, dear \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> writers:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106483\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/stop-trying-to-make-rosina-happen-gif-mean-girls.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"198\" height=\"211\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Is roaming the space around Drake and waving all this girl does? Get a hobby!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Demelza forces Drake to walk Rosina home again, but this time, Sam doesn't go along to act as a human prophylactic. Rosina says people might get the wrong idea and think they're dating. Drake smiles and says he's okay with that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106647\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/i-hate-this-30-rock-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"284\" height=\"196\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106626\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/very-upset-about-this-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"254\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Gross Goblin hatches a new plan to get even with Morwenna for denying him access to her feet; he plans to have her institutionalized. Can evil take a single afternoon off? I am exhausted.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106648\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/leave-morwenna-britney-alone-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"240\" height=\"162\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Evil just got back to me about taking the afternoon off. It's a hard no. Baby Sara has developed a cough. So far, she's beating back the Grim Reaper.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106641\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/carrie-sex-and-the-city-flower-gif-movie-mr-big.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"249\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Keep up the good fight, little one!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Gross Goblin tries to get Doc to say that Morwenna is bonkers enough to lock away forever. Really not in the mood for this kind of nonsense today, Doc eviscerates Gross Goblin: \"I cannot help you, sir, nor do I wish to. It is my humble opinion that if a husband cannot win his wife by loving, kindness and sympathy, then he deserves to go without her. I bid you a good day!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In case you're not fluent in overly-polite British, here's a translation:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106650\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/middle-finger-surprise-cross-bow-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"360\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I usually skip all the mining plotlines because zzzzzzzzzzz, but something important is actually happening down there for once. Ross plans to save the mine from bankruptcy by digging into new territory he thinks holds valuable minerals or whatever. Instead, he and Sam strike... a bunch of water! The mine starts to flood and everyone is in danger of drowning to death! Good going, guys! The homicidal puddle that murdered Francis is back for more!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A challenger for Gross Goblin's Bad At Everything title emerges in the form of some dude named Bobby. While trying to escape from the mine, he slips from the ladder, belly flops into deep water and then sinks to the bottom just in time for a random cart of rocks to fall on his leg. Oy vey.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106651\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/get-your-shit-together-star-trek-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"280\" height=\"210\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross eventually frees him, and Doc manages to bring him back to life via mouth-to-mouth. That's great for Bobby and all, but will Doc be able to save Baby Sara?!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106652\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/praying-crying-how-to-get-away-with-murder-gif-viola-davis.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"275\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of which, Blondie finally knows about Baby Sara's condition and the prognosis gets even worse: Baby Sara will be dead in a matter of hours.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106653\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/why-conan-crying-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Blondie is all out of jokes. \"I never wanted this wretched creature, but over the months, she has wormed her way into my affections, supplanting even poor Horace.\" (Considering the situation, I'll allow the demotion.)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Asked whether Blondie wants Demelza to come over for support, she says, \"No, I am a hard woman and can fend for myself. I believe Demelza would cry, and that I fear would undo us all.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97507\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/bethenny-cry.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"260\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza or no Demelza, I am undone. Baby Sara passes away that night.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-102001\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/jujubee-eyelash-crying.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"220\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I held most of the tears back until I saw that little black casket. Then the floodgates really opened.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106654\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/beyonce-flood-gates-water-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"266\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>R.I.P. Horace's lil sis! I'm sorry I hated on the idea of you. Please say hi to Agatha and Prison Bestie and Jago and Julia for me. No need to say anything to Francis.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After the funeral, Ross interrupts Demelza's weeping with yet another helping of jealousy over Prison Bestie. Is he serious?! At a time like this?!? As if that wasn't ridiculous enough, he then yells in Demelza's face about how he doesn't like his new job. \u003cem>Boo hoo, being one of the most powerful men in the country isn't as fun as I thought it would be! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Everyone grieves in their own way, but this is one of the dumbest. Get over yourself, dude! Baby Sara is dead and your grumpiness over work and your insecurity over a one-off sand-dune-boogie is all you can think about?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Just in case we needed another reminder of evil never resting, Malfoy and Elizabeth share idiotic grins over how they managed to buy their way back into Parliament. This would be a good time for a Biblical plague to hit their house. Let's not do frogs again. Death of the firstborn just happened, so let's skip that too. Locusts, biting insects, livestock disease, darkness and a river turning into blood won't do either. So fiery hail it is!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106660\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-1020x520.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"326\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-1020x520.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-160x82.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-800x408.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-768x392.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-1200x612.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-1920x979.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-1180x602.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-960x489.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-240x122.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-375x191.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/george-elizabeth-poldark-520x265.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That's for...well, everything, but especially for not letting Agatha lie about her age and have a fun, boozy birthday party!!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A few days later, Blondie decides to leave Doc and move to London so she can learn to forget the loss of Baby Sara. Uh oh, there go the floodgates again!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106654\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/beyonce-flood-gates-water-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"266\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>My face had just dried! Ugh!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At last, we get a reward for surviving all of this emotional devastation. Ding dong, it's HORACE O'CLOCK! And not a moment too soon! A much-needed rainbow after this sh*t-storm of an episode.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106659\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/horace-pug-poldark-carriage-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"268\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Find someone who looks at you the way Doc looks at Horace.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106658\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/smile-horace-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"268\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>(Yes, I do realize he's actually looking at Blondie. Let me have my fun during this emotional time!)\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While leaving Cornwall maybe forever, Blondie tells Doc, \"Do your best not to miss Horace.\" Ok, Blondie, we'll try.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106655\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/sad-wilfred-doctor-who-crying-old-man-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"147\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>OMG, another Rosina scene?? NOT NOW.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Since the fiery hail hasn't actually arrived yet, I guess I'll settle for Ross randomly destroying Malfoy's No Trespassing property fence. Obliterate it, Ross!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106657\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/destroy-door-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"161\" height=\"120\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The animated gif above also serves as an allegory for what this episode has done to my emotions and overall mental health.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: The Grim Reaper. \u003c/strong>So many evil people to choose from and he snatches up a baby named after one of my favorite Fleetwood Mac songs?! The gall!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: Bobby. \u003c/strong>Congrats on not being dead or whatever.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Morwenna. \u003c/strong>Hang in there, girl.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: Baby Sara. \u003c/strong>*unintelligible parting message drowned out by all the crying*\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: Blondie\u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>The best character on this entire show deserves much better than this. Like a happy-go-lucky spin-off, which follows her, Horace and Oscar Wilde, as they joke and party their way all over London. Make it happen, Masterpiece!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105805/poldark-season-4-episode-5-recap-no-tears-left-to-cry\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 5 Recap: No Tears Left To Cry\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105795/poldark-season-4-episode-3-recap-homeward-bound\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 3 Recap: Homeward Bound\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105791/poldark-season-4-episode-2-recap-ready-to-run\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 2 Recap: Ready to Run\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105789/poldark-season-4-premiere-recap-you-keep-me-hangin-on\">'Poldark' Season 4 Premiere Recap: You Keep Me Hangin' On\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/96601/poldark-season-3-finale-recap-look-what-you-made-me-do\">'Poldark' Season 3 Finale Recap: Look What You Made Me Do\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/13/poldark-season-3-episode-7-recap-i-wanna-sex-you-up/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: I Wanna Sex You Up\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/05/poldark-season-3-episode-6-recap-you-give-love-a-bad-name/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: You Give Love A Bad Name\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/29/poldark-season-3-episode-5-recap-the-one-that-got-away/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: The One That Got Away\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: Break Free\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 3 Recap: Homeward Bound",
"title": "'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 3 Recap: Homeward Bound",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>In\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105791/poldark-season-4-episode-2-recap-ready-to-run\"> the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Gross Goblin continued to gobble up lady toes, Ross finally decided to snatch Malfoy's Parliament seat, and Prison Bestie died from blue balls (...um, and a brain tumor). Will Gross Goblin cut his lip on a toenail? Will Ross start rocking one of those fabulous wigs British politicians like to wear? Will Prison Bestie's horny poetry be posthumously published in a Fabio-esque supermarket volume?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106505\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/fabio-poldark.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"828\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/fabio-poldark.jpg 498w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/fabio-poldark-160x266.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/fabio-poldark-240x399.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/fabio-poldark-375x623.jpg 375w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 498px) 100vw, 498px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Only one way to find out. On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Boom, we're in London! Mr. \u003cdel>Smith\u003c/del> Poldark Goes to \u003cdel>Washington\u003c/del> Westminster is in full effect! Ross has first-day-of-school jitters and is intimidated by all the different wig styles.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106474 size-medium\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wig-styles-poldark-800x421.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"421\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wig-styles-poldark-800x421.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wig-styles-poldark-160x84.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wig-styles-poldark-768x404.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wig-styles-poldark-1020x536.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wig-styles-poldark-1200x631.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wig-styles-poldark-1920x1010.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wig-styles-poldark-1180x621.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wig-styles-poldark-960x505.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wig-styles-poldark-240x126.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wig-styles-poldark-375x197.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wig-styles-poldark-520x273.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It doesn't take long for Ross to get over his shyness and get back to what he does best: shouting up a righteous storm. Meanwhile, back in Cornwall, Demelza reads a letter from Ross that essentially goes something like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Hey, stranger!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>I can't believe it's already been six months and that I didn't even bother coming home for Christmas. What can I say? There's just less incentive to be a good husband now that whats-his-butt is dead. London is soooo cool. I'd invite you to check it out, but I don't want to.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>See you when I see you!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Ross.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Needless to say, she is not amused.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106475\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/crumple-up-paper-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"241\" height=\"135\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The following day, a girl called Rosina (which also happens to be Ross' drag name) says hello to Drake in a lets-go-to-your-secret-cave-and-make-a-baby kind of way. Demelza gives Drake a look that says: \u003cem>Bro, you've been shot, clubbed in the back, almost hanged, and lost your first true love to a toe-gobbler. Maybe it's time for you to get some.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106485\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/demelza-poldark-raise-eyebrows-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in London, Ross is at a super cool rave featuring pyrotechnics, colored wigs, random elephant statues, and other hedonistic stuff there are probably commandments against. Marie Antoinette's ghost flies overhead and howls, \u003cem>Y'all get to boogie down like this, and I'm the one without a head?!?\u003c/em> Agatha's ghost also soars overhead and howls, \u003cem>Where's my port?!?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Quick question: Is this guy trying to pick up Ross?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106486\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/ross-poldark-cruising-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Since y'all can't answer me right now, I'm gonna go with a resounding YES.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The woman who checked out Ross' butt at the hanging in the season premiere started a trend!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106089\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/Poldark-butt.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"268\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross runs into Geoffrey Charles, who has gone through quite the accelerated puberty since we last saw him. Ross lies to him about how dignified his dad, Francis, was. Are we thinking of the same person? The Francis who skipped the war, stole his first cousin's girlfriend, was generally bad at everything and got murdered by a puddle? That Francis?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106476\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/sure-ross-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"279\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere, Malfoy tries to decide which evil thing he'll get up to this week. Drowning puppies and tripping toddlers will have to wait; a fellow Disney villain whom we'll call Sir Scam-a-Lot encourages Malfoy to worm his way back into the House of Commons by buying a town and by extension its representative. You know how the old saying goes: If you can't beat Ross in an election, join him in Westminster through evil anti-democratic means!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Verity, the Queen of Season 1, is back! But it's hard to pay attention to her while a very pregnant Blondie, surrounded by other people's loud children, says, \"I must be in hell.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106478\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/laugh-spit-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"220\" height=\"220\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I don't know about you, but I'd love to party with Blondie.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106477\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/we-hate-kids-nicole-richie-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"218\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Verity won't stop bringing up touchy subjects.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Verity:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Where did this weird ass flower come from?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>What Demelza says:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>It's a magnolia...\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>What Demelza doesn't say:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>...given to me by a half-blind hottie I sexed up on a sand dune.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Verity:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Elizabeth's house is super nice now, but you probably never see it cause she tried to wreck your home.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>What Demelza says:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Um, how's Lisbon?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>What Demelza doesn't say:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Someday, I am going to uppercut Elizabeth Mortal Kombat-style, then set her house on fire and light my cigarette on the flames.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106479\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/stella-got-her-grooce-back-fire-car-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"387\" height=\"217\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106480\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/elmo-burn-it-down-fire-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"440\" height=\"300\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After receiving news that the family mine might have to close down, Ross finally decides to pause his super busy rave-attending schedule to make the journey home. He's bored the entire way because the in-carriage entertainment options leave something to be desired.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Ross rides up to the house, Demelza gives him her cheek (not a great sign). Ross proceeds to make everything worse by nonchalantly asking, \u003cem>What have you been up to?\u003c/em> Demelza calmly provides a list through gritted teeth, \u003cem>Oh, I don't know, keeping the children alive, tending to the farm, making sure there's enough to eat, trying to keep the mine from going bankrupt, nothing major!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In one of those apartments that looks fine on Craiglist until you visit it in person and realize it's a crack den, Jennifer Lawrence is upset about her lack of finances. That's when she notices her big toe peeking out of her pantyhose, which makes her think of Gross Goblin.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106489\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/toe-jam.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This storyline = dead horse. Status: Beaten. Must we do this again?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I guess so 'cause she invites Gross Goblin over and asks for money in exchange for her toe jam services.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106490\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-foot-fetish-vicar-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We get it! He likes munching on feet! Next!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mere moments after giving birth, Blondie asks Doc, \"Is she as ugly as we feared?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106481\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/julia-roberts-cracking-up-laughing-oscars-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"309\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Please never change, Blondie.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at chez Poldark, Ross admits that he stayed away all these months because he figured Demelza was still swooning over Prison Bestie's ghost.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"I think you no longer know me, Ross.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Perhaps we no longer know each other.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At this rate, the next episode will look like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106482\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/sweet-home-alabama-reese-divorce-gi.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"260\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Ross heads to the beach to give viewers another look at his hairy chest. But before he can rip his shirt off, he notices another character has already beaten him to the gratuitous, wet, half-naked punch.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106487\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/what-ross-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">It's Doc!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106488 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/ross-doc-chest-shirtless-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The message between the lines of Ross' face: \u003cem>I'ma let you finish, but the shirtless wet hunk vibe is sort of my thing.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that afternoon, Ross heads to the mine and goes in for a hug from his old pauper pals. He gets brutally rebuffed. They think he's an out-of-touch outsider now. They're solidly #TeamDemelza. And who can blame 'em?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of Demelza, she's still trying to hook Rosina up with Drake by forcing him to walk her home. Thankfully, Sam offers to come along. Finally, his hatred of premarital kissing proves useful!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dear \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> writers:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106483 size-medium\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/stop-trying-to-make-rosina-happen-gif-mean-girls.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"198\" height=\"211\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Do you know what time it is?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>HORACE THE PUG O'CLOCK!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106492\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/horace-the-pug-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Blondie's house, Horace is watching over Sarah, either protecting her or plotting to smother her so he can be an only child again.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106491\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-baby-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Doc seems to think it's the latter.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Doc:\u003c/strong> \"I do believe Horace is feeling neglected.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Blondie:\u003c/strong> \"Nonsense. He knows I adore him above all things.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I agree with everything Blondie says so intensely, I'm starting to wonder if I'm her reincarnated form.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Before I can investigate that theory any further, Doc picks up Sarah and has a very worried look on his face.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Blondie:\u003c/strong> \"You seem very attached to that child. I hope she doesn't grow up to be a spoiled brat.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Well, according to the ominous music playing in the background, no need to worry about that 'cause Sarah might not get to grow up at all!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106493\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/kermit-anxious-worried-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In much less important news, Ross is feeling left out from a fishing trip all his old buddies are going on. Demelza tells him to grow up. Maybe in London, adults wait for embossed invitations to hang out with their friends, but in Cornwall, you just show up.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When he does, instead of finding a snoozy fishing trip, Ross discovers it's actually an all-out brawl! Drake runs and tells Ross why people are getting their teeth knocked out. His accent is so thick I don't know the reason for sure, but it seems like Bone Maraca Pirate (remember, he keeps the bones of his dearly departed hand in a pouch) slept with a widow whose husband is very much alive. Oops!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ultimately, the reason doesn't matter 'cause Ross never met a throwdown he didn't like. Ross might be a fancy politician now, but he still enjoys kicking butt.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Literally.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106495\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/kick-butt-ross-poldark-fight-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After the dust settles, Bone Maraca Pirate seems like he's dead (not another one!), but it turns out he just probably has some minor brain damage. Cool!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Just like earlier seasons of this show, Ross and his bros head to the pub to get tanked, and Ross eventually stumbles on over to Elizabeth's house because my blood pressure isn't high enough.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106496\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/what-is-wrong-with-you-practical-magic-gif-nicole-kidman.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"268\" height=\"274\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's too bad Demelza no longer has a living love affair partner to be inappropriate with!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106497\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/not-fair-scream-queens-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"499\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While Malfoy hosts a fancy party, Elizabeth just so happens to be outside admiring a flower when Ross walks up.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106498\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/fuming-mad-hades-hercules-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"240\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They chat about their secret love child and whether her husband still suspects that he's not the father. You know, a normal conversation we all have had with our exes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy's new friend, Sir Scam-a-Lot, pops up out of nowhere and says he thought Ross was a \"threadbare troubadour.\" Kick him in the butt, Ross!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For once, there was an Elizabeth scene in which she didn't get on my last nerve. She wasn't flirty or spiteful, and actually had an OK sense of humor. But I bet she does something gross in 5, 4, 3...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106499\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/countdown-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"300\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elizabeth goes back inside and immediately gets gross by being way too enthused about Malfoy's new evil plan to spread more injustice. Woomp, there it is!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106503\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/oprah-shrug-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"200\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere at the party, Doc stares into a fireplace, thinking of his maybe dying baby. Blondie asks him, \"What can you be thinking? How to make your escape and return to our odious offspring?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106506\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/cringe-hard-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"380\" height=\"285\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Eeeek! That was almost as bad as when he just got back with major PTSD from being a prisoner of war and she snuck up on him for no reason and screamed \"BOO!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that night, Ross finally makes it to his own house and—*record scratch*—actually tells Demelza the truth about going to see Elizabeth. Honesty?? I could get used to this!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As with the last two episodes, the end of the show means it's time for Ross and Demelza to have a heart-to-heart next to a fireplace. This time, Ross gives a little speech:\u003cem> All I've given you is grief and distrust and heartbreak, so here are some earrings cause I took an online quiz and it told me your love language was receiving gifts!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Good job, Ross!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Then, this happens:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"Are we strangers still?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Yes, but strangers who know every inch of each other's skin. So perhaps we should begin again from there.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106500\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/living-single-fans-self-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"356\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Then Ross grabs Demelza...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106502\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/horny-old-lady-computer-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"338\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">...and they have sex on the kitchen table because why the hell not!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106501\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/old-lady-looks-computer-glasses-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"338\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Rosina. \u003c/strong>I'm sure she's a nice girl and all, but I am still holding out hope for Morwenna. Move along, please!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: Athlete's Foot. \u003c/strong>I'm counting on this fungus to infect Jennifer Lawrence and Gross Goblin.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Ross and Demelza's Kids. \u003c/strong>Here's something shiny to distract them from the sounds of their parents making another sibling on the table in the next room.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: Horace. \u003c/strong>Good job not killing the baby! Like his mom said, I adore him above all things.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: Blondie\u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>She doesn't always time her jokes correctly, but I love this patron saint of not giving an F just as much as I love Horace, and we all know by now that's no small feat.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105805/poldark-season-4-episode-5-recap-no-tears-left-to-cry\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 5 Recap: No Tears Left To Cry\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105803/poldark-season-4-episode-4-recap-cry-me-a-river\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 4 Recap: Cry Me A River\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105791/poldark-season-4-episode-2-recap-ready-to-run\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 2 Recap: Ready to Run\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105789/poldark-season-4-premiere-recap-you-keep-me-hangin-on\">'Poldark' Season 4 Premiere Recap: You Keep Me Hangin' On\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/96601/poldark-season-3-finale-recap-look-what-you-made-me-do\">'Poldark' Season 3 Finale Recap: Look What You Made Me Do\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/13/poldark-season-3-episode-7-recap-i-wanna-sex-you-up/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: I Wanna Sex You Up\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/05/poldark-season-3-episode-6-recap-you-give-love-a-bad-name/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: You Give Love A Bad Name\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/29/poldark-season-3-episode-5-recap-the-one-that-got-away/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: The One That Got Away\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: Break Free\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin’ Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "This week, a pug contemplates smothering a baby to death. Other stuff happens too.",
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"title": "'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 3 Recap: Homeward Bound | KQED",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>In\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105791/poldark-season-4-episode-2-recap-ready-to-run\"> the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Gross Goblin continued to gobble up lady toes, Ross finally decided to snatch Malfoy's Parliament seat, and Prison Bestie died from blue balls (...um, and a brain tumor). Will Gross Goblin cut his lip on a toenail? Will Ross start rocking one of those fabulous wigs British politicians like to wear? Will Prison Bestie's horny poetry be posthumously published in a Fabio-esque supermarket volume?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106505\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/fabio-poldark.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"828\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/fabio-poldark.jpg 498w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/fabio-poldark-160x266.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/fabio-poldark-240x399.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/fabio-poldark-375x623.jpg 375w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 498px) 100vw, 498px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Only one way to find out. On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Boom, we're in London! Mr. \u003cdel>Smith\u003c/del> Poldark Goes to \u003cdel>Washington\u003c/del> Westminster is in full effect! Ross has first-day-of-school jitters and is intimidated by all the different wig styles.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106474 size-medium\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wig-styles-poldark-800x421.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"421\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wig-styles-poldark-800x421.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wig-styles-poldark-160x84.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wig-styles-poldark-768x404.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wig-styles-poldark-1020x536.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wig-styles-poldark-1200x631.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wig-styles-poldark-1920x1010.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wig-styles-poldark-1180x621.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wig-styles-poldark-960x505.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wig-styles-poldark-240x126.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wig-styles-poldark-375x197.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wig-styles-poldark-520x273.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It doesn't take long for Ross to get over his shyness and get back to what he does best: shouting up a righteous storm. Meanwhile, back in Cornwall, Demelza reads a letter from Ross that essentially goes something like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Hey, stranger!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>I can't believe it's already been six months and that I didn't even bother coming home for Christmas. What can I say? There's just less incentive to be a good husband now that whats-his-butt is dead. London is soooo cool. I'd invite you to check it out, but I don't want to.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>See you when I see you!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Ross.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Needless to say, she is not amused.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106475\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/crumple-up-paper-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"241\" height=\"135\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The following day, a girl called Rosina (which also happens to be Ross' drag name) says hello to Drake in a lets-go-to-your-secret-cave-and-make-a-baby kind of way. Demelza gives Drake a look that says: \u003cem>Bro, you've been shot, clubbed in the back, almost hanged, and lost your first true love to a toe-gobbler. Maybe it's time for you to get some.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106485\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/demelza-poldark-raise-eyebrows-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in London, Ross is at a super cool rave featuring pyrotechnics, colored wigs, random elephant statues, and other hedonistic stuff there are probably commandments against. Marie Antoinette's ghost flies overhead and howls, \u003cem>Y'all get to boogie down like this, and I'm the one without a head?!?\u003c/em> Agatha's ghost also soars overhead and howls, \u003cem>Where's my port?!?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Quick question: Is this guy trying to pick up Ross?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106486\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/ross-poldark-cruising-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Since y'all can't answer me right now, I'm gonna go with a resounding YES.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The woman who checked out Ross' butt at the hanging in the season premiere started a trend!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106089\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/Poldark-butt.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"268\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross runs into Geoffrey Charles, who has gone through quite the accelerated puberty since we last saw him. Ross lies to him about how dignified his dad, Francis, was. Are we thinking of the same person? The Francis who skipped the war, stole his first cousin's girlfriend, was generally bad at everything and got murdered by a puddle? That Francis?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106476\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/sure-ross-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"279\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere, Malfoy tries to decide which evil thing he'll get up to this week. Drowning puppies and tripping toddlers will have to wait; a fellow Disney villain whom we'll call Sir Scam-a-Lot encourages Malfoy to worm his way back into the House of Commons by buying a town and by extension its representative. You know how the old saying goes: If you can't beat Ross in an election, join him in Westminster through evil anti-democratic means!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Verity, the Queen of Season 1, is back! But it's hard to pay attention to her while a very pregnant Blondie, surrounded by other people's loud children, says, \"I must be in hell.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106478\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/laugh-spit-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"220\" height=\"220\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I don't know about you, but I'd love to party with Blondie.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106477\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/we-hate-kids-nicole-richie-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"218\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later, Verity won't stop bringing up touchy subjects.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Verity:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Where did this weird ass flower come from?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>What Demelza says:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>It's a magnolia...\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>What Demelza doesn't say:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>...given to me by a half-blind hottie I sexed up on a sand dune.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Verity:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Elizabeth's house is super nice now, but you probably never see it cause she tried to wreck your home.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>What Demelza says:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Um, how's Lisbon?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>What Demelza doesn't say:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Someday, I am going to uppercut Elizabeth Mortal Kombat-style, then set her house on fire and light my cigarette on the flames.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106479\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/stella-got-her-grooce-back-fire-car-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"387\" height=\"217\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106480\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/elmo-burn-it-down-fire-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"440\" height=\"300\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After receiving news that the family mine might have to close down, Ross finally decides to pause his super busy rave-attending schedule to make the journey home. He's bored the entire way because the in-carriage entertainment options leave something to be desired.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Ross rides up to the house, Demelza gives him her cheek (not a great sign). Ross proceeds to make everything worse by nonchalantly asking, \u003cem>What have you been up to?\u003c/em> Demelza calmly provides a list through gritted teeth, \u003cem>Oh, I don't know, keeping the children alive, tending to the farm, making sure there's enough to eat, trying to keep the mine from going bankrupt, nothing major!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In one of those apartments that looks fine on Craiglist until you visit it in person and realize it's a crack den, Jennifer Lawrence is upset about her lack of finances. That's when she notices her big toe peeking out of her pantyhose, which makes her think of Gross Goblin.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106489\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/toe-jam.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This storyline = dead horse. Status: Beaten. Must we do this again?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I guess so 'cause she invites Gross Goblin over and asks for money in exchange for her toe jam services.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106490\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-foot-fetish-vicar-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We get it! He likes munching on feet! Next!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Mere moments after giving birth, Blondie asks Doc, \"Is she as ugly as we feared?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106481\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/julia-roberts-cracking-up-laughing-oscars-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"309\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Please never change, Blondie.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at chez Poldark, Ross admits that he stayed away all these months because he figured Demelza was still swooning over Prison Bestie's ghost.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"I think you no longer know me, Ross.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Perhaps we no longer know each other.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At this rate, the next episode will look like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106482\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/sweet-home-alabama-reese-divorce-gi.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"260\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Ross heads to the beach to give viewers another look at his hairy chest. But before he can rip his shirt off, he notices another character has already beaten him to the gratuitous, wet, half-naked punch.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106487\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/what-ross-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">It's Doc!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106488 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/ross-doc-chest-shirtless-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The message between the lines of Ross' face: \u003cem>I'ma let you finish, but the shirtless wet hunk vibe is sort of my thing.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that afternoon, Ross heads to the mine and goes in for a hug from his old pauper pals. He gets brutally rebuffed. They think he's an out-of-touch outsider now. They're solidly #TeamDemelza. And who can blame 'em?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of Demelza, she's still trying to hook Rosina up with Drake by forcing him to walk her home. Thankfully, Sam offers to come along. Finally, his hatred of premarital kissing proves useful!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dear \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> writers:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106483 size-medium\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/stop-trying-to-make-rosina-happen-gif-mean-girls.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"198\" height=\"211\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Do you know what time it is?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>HORACE THE PUG O'CLOCK!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106492\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/horace-the-pug-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Blondie's house, Horace is watching over Sarah, either protecting her or plotting to smother her so he can be an only child again.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106491\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-baby-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Doc seems to think it's the latter.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Doc:\u003c/strong> \"I do believe Horace is feeling neglected.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Blondie:\u003c/strong> \"Nonsense. He knows I adore him above all things.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I agree with everything Blondie says so intensely, I'm starting to wonder if I'm her reincarnated form.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Before I can investigate that theory any further, Doc picks up Sarah and has a very worried look on his face.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Blondie:\u003c/strong> \"You seem very attached to that child. I hope she doesn't grow up to be a spoiled brat.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Well, according to the ominous music playing in the background, no need to worry about that 'cause Sarah might not get to grow up at all!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106493\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/kermit-anxious-worried-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In much less important news, Ross is feeling left out from a fishing trip all his old buddies are going on. Demelza tells him to grow up. Maybe in London, adults wait for embossed invitations to hang out with their friends, but in Cornwall, you just show up.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When he does, instead of finding a snoozy fishing trip, Ross discovers it's actually an all-out brawl! Drake runs and tells Ross why people are getting their teeth knocked out. His accent is so thick I don't know the reason for sure, but it seems like Bone Maraca Pirate (remember, he keeps the bones of his dearly departed hand in a pouch) slept with a widow whose husband is very much alive. Oops!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ultimately, the reason doesn't matter 'cause Ross never met a throwdown he didn't like. Ross might be a fancy politician now, but he still enjoys kicking butt.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Literally.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106495\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/kick-butt-ross-poldark-fight-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After the dust settles, Bone Maraca Pirate seems like he's dead (not another one!), but it turns out he just probably has some minor brain damage. Cool!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Just like earlier seasons of this show, Ross and his bros head to the pub to get tanked, and Ross eventually stumbles on over to Elizabeth's house because my blood pressure isn't high enough.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106496\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/what-is-wrong-with-you-practical-magic-gif-nicole-kidman.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"268\" height=\"274\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's too bad Demelza no longer has a living love affair partner to be inappropriate with!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106497\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/not-fair-scream-queens-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"499\" height=\"281\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While Malfoy hosts a fancy party, Elizabeth just so happens to be outside admiring a flower when Ross walks up.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106498\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/fuming-mad-hades-hercules-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"240\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They chat about their secret love child and whether her husband still suspects that he's not the father. You know, a normal conversation we all have had with our exes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy's new friend, Sir Scam-a-Lot, pops up out of nowhere and says he thought Ross was a \"threadbare troubadour.\" Kick him in the butt, Ross!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For once, there was an Elizabeth scene in which she didn't get on my last nerve. She wasn't flirty or spiteful, and actually had an OK sense of humor. But I bet she does something gross in 5, 4, 3...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106499\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/countdown-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"300\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elizabeth goes back inside and immediately gets gross by being way too enthused about Malfoy's new evil plan to spread more injustice. Woomp, there it is!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106503\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/oprah-shrug-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"200\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere at the party, Doc stares into a fireplace, thinking of his maybe dying baby. Blondie asks him, \"What can you be thinking? How to make your escape and return to our odious offspring?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106506\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/cringe-hard-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"380\" height=\"285\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Eeeek! That was almost as bad as when he just got back with major PTSD from being a prisoner of war and she snuck up on him for no reason and screamed \"BOO!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that night, Ross finally makes it to his own house and—*record scratch*—actually tells Demelza the truth about going to see Elizabeth. Honesty?? I could get used to this!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>As with the last two episodes, the end of the show means it's time for Ross and Demelza to have a heart-to-heart next to a fireplace. This time, Ross gives a little speech:\u003cem> All I've given you is grief and distrust and heartbreak, so here are some earrings cause I took an online quiz and it told me your love language was receiving gifts!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Good job, Ross!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Then, this happens:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"Are we strangers still?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Yes, but strangers who know every inch of each other's skin. So perhaps we should begin again from there.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106500\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/living-single-fans-self-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"356\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">Then Ross grabs Demelza...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106502\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/horny-old-lady-computer-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"338\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">...and they have sex on the kitchen table because why the hell not!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106501\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/old-lady-looks-computer-glasses-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"338\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Rosina. \u003c/strong>I'm sure she's a nice girl and all, but I am still holding out hope for Morwenna. Move along, please!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: Athlete's Foot. \u003c/strong>I'm counting on this fungus to infect Jennifer Lawrence and Gross Goblin.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Ross and Demelza's Kids. \u003c/strong>Here's something shiny to distract them from the sounds of their parents making another sibling on the table in the next room.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: Horace. \u003c/strong>Good job not killing the baby! Like his mom said, I adore him above all things.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: Blondie\u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>She doesn't always time her jokes correctly, but I love this patron saint of not giving an F just as much as I love Horace, and we all know by now that's no small feat.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105805/poldark-season-4-episode-5-recap-no-tears-left-to-cry\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 5 Recap: No Tears Left To Cry\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105803/poldark-season-4-episode-4-recap-cry-me-a-river\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 4 Recap: Cry Me A River\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105791/poldark-season-4-episode-2-recap-ready-to-run\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 2 Recap: Ready to Run\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105789/poldark-season-4-premiere-recap-you-keep-me-hangin-on\">'Poldark' Season 4 Premiere Recap: You Keep Me Hangin' On\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/96601/poldark-season-3-finale-recap-look-what-you-made-me-do\">'Poldark' Season 3 Finale Recap: Look What You Made Me Do\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/13/poldark-season-3-episode-7-recap-i-wanna-sex-you-up/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: I Wanna Sex You Up\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/05/poldark-season-3-episode-6-recap-you-give-love-a-bad-name/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: You Give Love A Bad Name\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/29/poldark-season-3-episode-5-recap-the-one-that-got-away/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: The One That Got Away\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: Break Free\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 2 Recap: Ready to Run",
"title": "'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 2 Recap: Ready to Run",
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"content": "\u003cp>In\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105789/poldark-season-4-premiere-recap-you-keep-me-hangin-on\"> the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, a half-naked Ross emerged from the waves to work on repairing his marriage, a lot of horny love poems made their way to Demelza, and a new character named Jago was unjustly hanged because he was craving some bread. Will Ross and \u003cdel>Rachel\u003c/del> Demelza have an argument over whether they were on a break? Will Prison Bestie realize his true calling: writing those sexy, sappy, supermarket romance novels with Fabio on the cover? Will Jago's ghost team up with Agatha's spirit to haunt Malfoy for eternity? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This episode begins just like the last: with a shot of crashing waves. Only this time, there's 100% less of Ross' hairy chest.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106326\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/angry-birds-disappointed-sad-happy-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"263\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106327\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/where-is-it-the-west-wing-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"335\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Things are even bleaker over at Prison Bestie's house. His I'm-going-blind headaches are getting worse. Doc offers a couple of prescriptions: Go easy on the opium and try writing horny poetry during the day, instead of by the dimmest of candlelight. Prison Bestie doesn't like any of this advice because drugs can be fun and nighttime is the best time to think of saucy rhymes. He sends for the doctor who routinely tortures people for a second opinion.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Blondie has an announcement.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She's pregnant!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And very unhappy about it!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I don't want the brat,\" she says. \"Really. I cannot bear babies. Wrinkled, greedy, red-faced little tyrants.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In summary:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97104\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/throw-simba-lion-king-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"204\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the most random of B-plots, Demelza's Bible-thumping brother, Sam, agrees to wrestle Malfoy's evil sidekick, Slytherin Crony. The prize: converting the girl who desperately needed some dry shampoo last season to Christianity. I told you it was random.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106329\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/i-dont-know-why-youre-doing-this-michelle-rodriguez-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"339\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere, in an effort to take her mind off of the \"wrinkled, greedy, red-faced little tyrant\" growing inside her, Blondie dreams up an elaborate scheme to help Prison Bestie win the election against Malfoy. It would be a win-win; everyone would get to see Malfoy ugly cry when he loses and Prison Bestie would move to London and stop reminding Demelza that her kink is sleeping with partially blind hotties on sand dunes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of Mr. Sand Dune Seducer, he's getting that second opinion he wanted, and it's not pretty.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dr. Choke's idea of a health care plan:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>12:00 pm: Blistering.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>12:30 pm: Purging.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>01:00 pm: Vomiting.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>02:00 pm: Poulticing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>02:30 pm: Bleeding.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106332\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/jim-carrey-dumb-and-dumber-puke-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"452\" height=\"282\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If none of this works (spoiler: it absolutely won't), there's always Plan B: Shaving Prison Bestie's pretty little head and then drilling a hole into it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106331\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/jim-carrey-liar-liar-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"250\" height=\"222\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Blondie is hard at work, implementing her election meddling plan.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Step 1: Invite the donor behind Malfoy's bid and the donor behind Prison Bestie's bid over for tea.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Step 2: Distract them from their opposing political views by serving lots and lots of booze.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Step 3: Once they're properly tanked, bring up how much Malfoy sucks and allow mutual hatred to bring them together.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106333\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/i-hate-malfoy-too.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"207\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the local pub, Ross and Malfoy are also getting tanked (separately). Remember that time in Season 2 when they got into a huge fight at this same pub and Malfoy tried to gouge Ross' eyes out? Or that time Ross almost put Malfoy's entire head into a burning fireplace? Ding, ding! Let's hear it for Round 3!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106335\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/cat-fight-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"624\" height=\"457\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ugh, false alarm! You can put your popcorn away. Nothing happens, other than some light smack talk. Malfoy heckles Ross about how Jago deserved to die and maybe Ross could have prevented the hanging if he ever ran for office instead of just whining from the sidelines. Wait, what's this strange feeling? Am I halfway agreeing with Malfoy on something?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106336\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/cat-surprised-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"330\" height=\"312\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Instead of murdering Malfoy and then drinking wine out of his skull (can you tell I watched all of \u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em> this year?), Ross settles for a less gory approach to getting even: placing bets on the wrestling match and donating the proceeds to a local hospital!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106354\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wow-this-is-boring-the-comeback-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"325\" height=\"225\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross is really invested in beating Malfoy, so he trains Sam to become the WWE Champion. Because the \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> writers won't give us any queer characters, some of us are left to purposefully take this scene out of context.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106338\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-ross-wrestling-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, it's time to rumble for real. Wrestlemania 1790 is on!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106340\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wrestlemania-poldark-sam-1020x932.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"585\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wrestlemania-poldark-sam-1020x932.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wrestlemania-poldark-sam-160x146.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wrestlemania-poldark-sam-800x731.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wrestlemania-poldark-sam-768x702.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wrestlemania-poldark-sam-960x878.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wrestlemania-poldark-sam-240x219.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wrestlemania-poldark-sam-375x343.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wrestlemania-poldark-sam-520x475.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wrestlemania-poldark-sam.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sam wins the first match (he also wins Best Dressed, thanks to those breathtaking fluorescent neon tassels). But the good guys don't get to celebrate for long. Slytherin Crony tries to gouge Sam's eyes out! Several times! Then he gouges Sam's heart out by looking at Dry Shampoo Girl and saying, \"You're welcome to her soul. I've already had her body.\" Sam can't even handle the idea of innocent kissing, let alone something of this caliber, so it's a TKO.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Someone else who's down and out is Prison Bestie. Turns out having leeches all over your body doesn't cure brain fever or a broken heart. Doc says he needs to want to get better. Prison Bestie responds by humming \"How Do I Live Without You\" by LeAnn Rimes, while thinking of Demelza. Okay, that's a great song, and Demelza is a great girl, but these dramatics are a little over the top, don't you think?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96627\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/snap-out-of-it-cher-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"245\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a beach, Drake runs into his ex, Morwenna, and because it's the 18th-century, they proceed to have very awkward small talk about a hanging:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Morwenna:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Hey, I saw you at your execution. Sorry I didn't say hi.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Drake:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Oh, that's okay. I was kind of busy waiting to be put to death and all. Anyway, is your husband still terrorizing your feet?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Before she can answer, Gross Goblin screams \"WIFE!\" and then rants about how the locals are barbarians. This would be a great time for a giant anvil to randomly fall out of the sky and onto his head.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Ross and Demelza drop in to check on Prison Bestie, who immediately asks if he can be alone with Demelza. He gets his wish (because #OpenRelationship) and immediately hands her another horny love poem (you gotta hand it to the guy; even on death's door, he finds the time). Meanwhile, in the hallway, his uncle convinces Ross to run in the election.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>*puts tin-foil hat on*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Conspiracy Theory Time!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What if Prison Bestie is pretending to be ill so that he doesn't have to move to London to be a politician, knowing that Ross will take his place, thus leaving Demelza for months at a time and paving the way for more sand dune sex?!?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106344\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/tin-foil-hat-colbert.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"450\" height=\"252\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>*removes tin-foil hat*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that night, Demelza finally gets some alone time to read Prison Bestie's latest poem. It's basically the lyrics to \"My Heart Will Go On.\" Demelza doesn't even get to the \"Near, far, wherever you are\" part before Ross bursts in. She immediately crumbles the paper up and sits on it (because that's not suspicious at all) and then runs out of the room. Um, Demelza, this is not how you sneak around. Did you learn nothing from watching Ross sneak around for years??\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross reads the poem...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>...and is actually pretty chill about it!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106345\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/you-know-what-that-is-growth-insecure-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You know who has failed to grow or develop as a human being over the past three seasons? Elizabeth! After discovering that Ross is running in the election, she offers to help blackmail and threaten rich white people to vote in Malfoy's favor.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Be right back; I have to have a little chat with Elizabeth:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>YOU were the one who got engaged to Ross' cousin when Ross took too long to survive the war.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>YOU were the one who killed Julia, Ross and Demelza's kid, with your germs.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>YOU were the one who thanked Demelza for nursing you and your child back to health by sleeping with her man and then pressuring him to dump her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Some people in this narrative should be angry, and none of them are YOU.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So get over yourself!! Goodbye!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97232\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/you-get-nothing-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"540\" height=\"260\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106347\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/giphy-2.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"540\" height=\"284\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106346 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/giphy-3.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"540\" height=\"260\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106348 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/veruca-salt-calming-down-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"240\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sorry y'all had to hear all of that. I just don't get her gripe with Ross.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>ANYWAY...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Election Day has come! 17 rich white dudes get to decide whether Ross or Malfoy will reign supreme because that seems like a fair process. A bunch of them vote for Malfoy, until the dude Blondie plied with booze switches his vote to Ross. The remaining voters look at each other and think, \u003cem>Oh, we don't have to be evil anymore and all it took to realize that is one person doing the right thing? Sounds legit!\u003c/em> By a vote of nine to eight, Ross squeaks out a victory!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy and Elizabeth are SHOCKED!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106349\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/u-mad-oprah-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"390\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy rants about how prejudice and privilege are the reason he lost.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106350\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/thats-funny-tell-another-one-rupaul-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Unfortunately, Ross' victory lap gets interrupted by the news that Prison Bestie DIED! WTF! I thought he was just pretending! Or needed Lasik surgery! Noooo! Things are going to be so boring now!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106355\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/the-room-throw-tv-out-window-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So if Demelza's love affair partner dies, it's only fair that Ross' also dies, right?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106356\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/off-with-her-head-alice-wonderland-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"294\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Like me, Ross confesses that he thought Prison Bestie was exaggerating to get Demelza's attention. Doc says not to feel too bad because now Prison Bestie will be immortal and Ross will always look pale in comparison. Good luck with that!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back to the random B-plot we all forgot was still going on: Dry Shampoo Girl lets Sam know that, despite what was said in the wrestling ring, she is still a virgin. Praise baby Jesus! But she doesn't want to be saved. Taking back that baby Jesus praise! She announces that she's about to move away forever, and then kisses him. Why did she go and do that?! You know how many Haily Marys he's gonna have to say now to repent for that? He hates kissing! Demelza and her brothers sure are cursed in the love department.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of sex, like I said last week, PBS seems to edit out any sexy scenes, but for some reason, they left in this shot of Gross Goblin gobbling up a sex worker's foot!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106341\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/foot-fetish-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106352\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/miss-jay-disgusted-reaction-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"300\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In other Ewwwww news, Elizabeth is still very much alive and wants to make another baby.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Again:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97104\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/throw-simba-lion-king-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"204\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because I'm not rolling my eyes enough already, Morwenna's no-good sister Jennifer Lawrence crawls back from under her rock to tell Gross Goblin she was never pregnant last season and just said so to blackmail him. That's fine. He deserves it, but why do evil scammer things and not help your sister at all? Whatever, loser. You're dead to me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-35963\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200.gif 200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-32x32.gif 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-50x50.gif 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-64x64.gif 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-96x96.gif 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-128x128.gif 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-150x150.gif 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 200px) 100vw, 200px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's time for Ross and Demelza's weekly sit by the fire, where they hash out really intense emotional issues that could destroy their marriage at any moment. Ross wants to know the whole truth of her love affair with Prison Bestie. Demelza confesses that he did touch her heart (...and a few other things), and that she did love him, but in a different iambic pentameter way. She explains that she's not only sobbing for Prison Bestie, but also for Julia (thanks, Elizabeth!) and also for the broken unjust world in general. Ross can't bring back her dead lover or her dead daughter, but maybe he can bring back democracy! Coming soon to a television screen near you: Mr. \u003cdel>Smith\u003c/del> Poldark Goes to \u003cdel>Washington\u003c/del> Westminster.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Jennifer Lawrence. \u003c/strong>I thought she was plotting some huge revenge plot against Gross Goblin the entirety of last season and it was all so she could get a bit of pocket change? Still pissed about it.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: Sam. \u003c/strong>He almost got his eyes gouged out, failed to save Dry Shampoo Girl's soul and went to first base before marriage. A pretty rough week, all in all, so he deserves some kind of award.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Blondie.\u003c/strong> I can pretend that this award is for influencing the election in a positive way or being a much-needed support for Demelza, but let's be real, it's for that iconic anti-baby speech. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: \u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>Demelza. \u003c/strong>Sorry about... well, everything. #ItGetsBetter. *looks around 2018* Actually, it doesn't, so here's a silver medal.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: Prison Bestie\u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>You came (*knowing look*), you saw (kind of), you conquered (the Cornwall poetry scene). We will never forget your unmatched horniness. Say hi to Agatha and Jago for us, please!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105805/poldark-season-4-episode-5-recap-no-tears-left-to-cry\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 5 Recap: No Tears Left To Cry\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105803/poldark-season-4-episode-4-recap-cry-me-a-river\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 4 Recap: Cry Me A River\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105795/poldark-season-4-episode-3-recap-homeward-bound\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 3 Recap: Homeward Bound\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105789/poldark-season-4-premiere-recap-you-keep-me-hangin-on\">'Poldark' Season 4 Premiere Recap: You Keep Me Hangin' On\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/96601/poldark-season-3-finale-recap-look-what-you-made-me-do\">'Poldark' Season 3 Finale Recap: Look What You Made Me Do\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/13/poldark-season-3-episode-7-recap-i-wanna-sex-you-up/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: I Wanna Sex You Up\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/05/poldark-season-3-episode-6-recap-you-give-love-a-bad-name/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: You Give Love A Bad Name\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/29/poldark-season-3-episode-5-recap-the-one-that-got-away/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: The One That Got Away\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: Break Free\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin’ Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "Eye-gouging! Wrestling! Voting! Dying! This episode has it all!",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>In\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105789/poldark-season-4-premiere-recap-you-keep-me-hangin-on\"> the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, a half-naked Ross emerged from the waves to work on repairing his marriage, a lot of horny love poems made their way to Demelza, and a new character named Jago was unjustly hanged because he was craving some bread. Will Ross and \u003cdel>Rachel\u003c/del> Demelza have an argument over whether they were on a break? Will Prison Bestie realize his true calling: writing those sexy, sappy, supermarket romance novels with Fabio on the cover? Will Jago's ghost team up with Agatha's spirit to haunt Malfoy for eternity? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>This episode begins just like the last: with a shot of crashing waves. Only this time, there's 100% less of Ross' hairy chest.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106326\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/angry-birds-disappointed-sad-happy-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"263\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106327\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/where-is-it-the-west-wing-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"335\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Things are even bleaker over at Prison Bestie's house. His I'm-going-blind headaches are getting worse. Doc offers a couple of prescriptions: Go easy on the opium and try writing horny poetry during the day, instead of by the dimmest of candlelight. Prison Bestie doesn't like any of this advice because drugs can be fun and nighttime is the best time to think of saucy rhymes. He sends for the doctor who routinely tortures people for a second opinion.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Blondie has an announcement.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>She's pregnant!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And very unhappy about it!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\"I don't want the brat,\" she says. \"Really. I cannot bear babies. Wrinkled, greedy, red-faced little tyrants.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In summary:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97104\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/throw-simba-lion-king-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"204\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In the most random of B-plots, Demelza's Bible-thumping brother, Sam, agrees to wrestle Malfoy's evil sidekick, Slytherin Crony. The prize: converting the girl who desperately needed some dry shampoo last season to Christianity. I told you it was random.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106329\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/i-dont-know-why-youre-doing-this-michelle-rodriguez-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"339\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere, in an effort to take her mind off of the \"wrinkled, greedy, red-faced little tyrant\" growing inside her, Blondie dreams up an elaborate scheme to help Prison Bestie win the election against Malfoy. It would be a win-win; everyone would get to see Malfoy ugly cry when he loses and Prison Bestie would move to London and stop reminding Demelza that her kink is sleeping with partially blind hotties on sand dunes.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of Mr. Sand Dune Seducer, he's getting that second opinion he wanted, and it's not pretty.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dr. Choke's idea of a health care plan:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>12:00 pm: Blistering.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>12:30 pm: Purging.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>01:00 pm: Vomiting.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>02:00 pm: Poulticing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>02:30 pm: Bleeding.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106332\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/jim-carrey-dumb-and-dumber-puke-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"452\" height=\"282\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>If none of this works (spoiler: it absolutely won't), there's always Plan B: Shaving Prison Bestie's pretty little head and then drilling a hole into it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106331\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/jim-carrey-liar-liar-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"250\" height=\"222\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Blondie is hard at work, implementing her election meddling plan.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Step 1: Invite the donor behind Malfoy's bid and the donor behind Prison Bestie's bid over for tea.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Step 2: Distract them from their opposing political views by serving lots and lots of booze.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Step 3: Once they're properly tanked, bring up how much Malfoy sucks and allow mutual hatred to bring them together.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106333\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/i-hate-malfoy-too.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"207\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At the local pub, Ross and Malfoy are also getting tanked (separately). Remember that time in Season 2 when they got into a huge fight at this same pub and Malfoy tried to gouge Ross' eyes out? Or that time Ross almost put Malfoy's entire head into a burning fireplace? Ding, ding! Let's hear it for Round 3!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106335\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/cat-fight-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"624\" height=\"457\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ugh, false alarm! You can put your popcorn away. Nothing happens, other than some light smack talk. Malfoy heckles Ross about how Jago deserved to die and maybe Ross could have prevented the hanging if he ever ran for office instead of just whining from the sidelines. Wait, what's this strange feeling? Am I halfway agreeing with Malfoy on something?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106336\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/cat-surprised-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"330\" height=\"312\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Instead of murdering Malfoy and then drinking wine out of his skull (can you tell I watched all of \u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em> this year?), Ross settles for a less gory approach to getting even: placing bets on the wrestling match and donating the proceeds to a local hospital!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106354\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wow-this-is-boring-the-comeback-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"325\" height=\"225\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross is really invested in beating Malfoy, so he trains Sam to become the WWE Champion. Because the \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> writers won't give us any queer characters, some of us are left to purposefully take this scene out of context.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106338\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/poldark-ross-wrestling-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, it's time to rumble for real. Wrestlemania 1790 is on!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-106340\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wrestlemania-poldark-sam-1020x932.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"585\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wrestlemania-poldark-sam-1020x932.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wrestlemania-poldark-sam-160x146.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wrestlemania-poldark-sam-800x731.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wrestlemania-poldark-sam-768x702.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wrestlemania-poldark-sam-960x878.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wrestlemania-poldark-sam-240x219.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wrestlemania-poldark-sam-375x343.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wrestlemania-poldark-sam-520x475.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/wrestlemania-poldark-sam.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sam wins the first match (he also wins Best Dressed, thanks to those breathtaking fluorescent neon tassels). But the good guys don't get to celebrate for long. Slytherin Crony tries to gouge Sam's eyes out! Several times! Then he gouges Sam's heart out by looking at Dry Shampoo Girl and saying, \"You're welcome to her soul. I've already had her body.\" Sam can't even handle the idea of innocent kissing, let alone something of this caliber, so it's a TKO.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Someone else who's down and out is Prison Bestie. Turns out having leeches all over your body doesn't cure brain fever or a broken heart. Doc says he needs to want to get better. Prison Bestie responds by humming \"How Do I Live Without You\" by LeAnn Rimes, while thinking of Demelza. Okay, that's a great song, and Demelza is a great girl, but these dramatics are a little over the top, don't you think?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96627\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/snap-out-of-it-cher-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"245\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a beach, Drake runs into his ex, Morwenna, and because it's the 18th-century, they proceed to have very awkward small talk about a hanging:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Morwenna:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Hey, I saw you at your execution. Sorry I didn't say hi.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Drake:\u003c/strong> \u003cem>Oh, that's okay. I was kind of busy waiting to be put to death and all. Anyway, is your husband still terrorizing your feet?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Before she can answer, Gross Goblin screams \"WIFE!\" and then rants about how the locals are barbarians. This would be a great time for a giant anvil to randomly fall out of the sky and onto his head.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Ross and Demelza drop in to check on Prison Bestie, who immediately asks if he can be alone with Demelza. He gets his wish (because #OpenRelationship) and immediately hands her another horny love poem (you gotta hand it to the guy; even on death's door, he finds the time). Meanwhile, in the hallway, his uncle convinces Ross to run in the election.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>*puts tin-foil hat on*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Conspiracy Theory Time!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What if Prison Bestie is pretending to be ill so that he doesn't have to move to London to be a politician, knowing that Ross will take his place, thus leaving Demelza for months at a time and paving the way for more sand dune sex?!?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106344\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/tin-foil-hat-colbert.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"450\" height=\"252\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>*removes tin-foil hat*\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Later that night, Demelza finally gets some alone time to read Prison Bestie's latest poem. It's basically the lyrics to \"My Heart Will Go On.\" Demelza doesn't even get to the \"Near, far, wherever you are\" part before Ross bursts in. She immediately crumbles the paper up and sits on it (because that's not suspicious at all) and then runs out of the room. Um, Demelza, this is not how you sneak around. Did you learn nothing from watching Ross sneak around for years??\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross reads the poem...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>...and is actually pretty chill about it!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106345\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/you-know-what-that-is-growth-insecure-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You know who has failed to grow or develop as a human being over the past three seasons? Elizabeth! After discovering that Ross is running in the election, she offers to help blackmail and threaten rich white people to vote in Malfoy's favor.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Be right back; I have to have a little chat with Elizabeth:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>YOU were the one who got engaged to Ross' cousin when Ross took too long to survive the war.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>YOU were the one who killed Julia, Ross and Demelza's kid, with your germs.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>YOU were the one who thanked Demelza for nursing you and your child back to health by sleeping with her man and then pressuring him to dump her.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Some people in this narrative should be angry, and none of them are YOU.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So get over yourself!! Goodbye!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97232\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/you-get-nothing-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"540\" height=\"260\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106347\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/giphy-2.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"540\" height=\"284\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106346 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/giphy-3.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"540\" height=\"260\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106348 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/veruca-salt-calming-down-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"240\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sorry y'all had to hear all of that. I just don't get her gripe with Ross.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>ANYWAY...\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Election Day has come! 17 rich white dudes get to decide whether Ross or Malfoy will reign supreme because that seems like a fair process. A bunch of them vote for Malfoy, until the dude Blondie plied with booze switches his vote to Ross. The remaining voters look at each other and think, \u003cem>Oh, we don't have to be evil anymore and all it took to realize that is one person doing the right thing? Sounds legit!\u003c/em> By a vote of nine to eight, Ross squeaks out a victory!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy and Elizabeth are SHOCKED!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106349\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/u-mad-oprah-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"390\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Malfoy rants about how prejudice and privilege are the reason he lost.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106350\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/thats-funny-tell-another-one-rupaul-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Unfortunately, Ross' victory lap gets interrupted by the news that Prison Bestie DIED! WTF! I thought he was just pretending! Or needed Lasik surgery! Noooo! Things are going to be so boring now!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106355\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/the-room-throw-tv-out-window-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>So if Demelza's love affair partner dies, it's only fair that Ross' also dies, right?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106356\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/off-with-her-head-alice-wonderland-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"294\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Like me, Ross confesses that he thought Prison Bestie was exaggerating to get Demelza's attention. Doc says not to feel too bad because now Prison Bestie will be immortal and Ross will always look pale in comparison. Good luck with that!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back to the random B-plot we all forgot was still going on: Dry Shampoo Girl lets Sam know that, despite what was said in the wrestling ring, she is still a virgin. Praise baby Jesus! But she doesn't want to be saved. Taking back that baby Jesus praise! She announces that she's about to move away forever, and then kisses him. Why did she go and do that?! You know how many Haily Marys he's gonna have to say now to repent for that? He hates kissing! Demelza and her brothers sure are cursed in the love department.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Speaking of sex, like I said last week, PBS seems to edit out any sexy scenes, but for some reason, they left in this shot of Gross Goblin gobbling up a sex worker's foot!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106341\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/foot-fetish-poldark-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106352\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/10/miss-jay-disgusted-reaction-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"300\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In other Ewwwww news, Elizabeth is still very much alive and wants to make another baby.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Again:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97104\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/throw-simba-lion-king-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"350\" height=\"204\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because I'm not rolling my eyes enough already, Morwenna's no-good sister Jennifer Lawrence crawls back from under her rock to tell Gross Goblin she was never pregnant last season and just said so to blackmail him. That's fine. He deserves it, but why do evil scammer things and not help your sister at all? Whatever, loser. You're dead to me.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-35963\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200.gif 200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-32x32.gif 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-50x50.gif 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-64x64.gif 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-96x96.gif 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-128x128.gif 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/azc2u1jpg.gif-c200-150x150.gif 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 200px) 100vw, 200px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>It's time for Ross and Demelza's weekly sit by the fire, where they hash out really intense emotional issues that could destroy their marriage at any moment. Ross wants to know the whole truth of her love affair with Prison Bestie. Demelza confesses that he did touch her heart (...and a few other things), and that she did love him, but in a different iambic pentameter way. She explains that she's not only sobbing for Prison Bestie, but also for Julia (thanks, Elizabeth!) and also for the broken unjust world in general. Ross can't bring back her dead lover or her dead daughter, but maybe he can bring back democracy! Coming soon to a television screen near you: Mr. \u003cdel>Smith\u003c/del> Poldark Goes to \u003cdel>Washington\u003c/del> Westminster.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Jennifer Lawrence. \u003c/strong>I thought she was plotting some huge revenge plot against Gross Goblin the entirety of last season and it was all so she could get a bit of pocket change? Still pissed about it.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: Sam. \u003c/strong>He almost got his eyes gouged out, failed to save Dry Shampoo Girl's soul and went to first base before marriage. A pretty rough week, all in all, so he deserves some kind of award.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Blondie.\u003c/strong> I can pretend that this award is for influencing the election in a positive way or being a much-needed support for Demelza, but let's be real, it's for that iconic anti-baby speech. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: \u003c/strong>\u003cstrong>Demelza. \u003c/strong>Sorry about... well, everything. #ItGetsBetter. *looks around 2018* Actually, it doesn't, so here's a silver medal.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: Prison Bestie\u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>You came (*knowing look*), you saw (kind of), you conquered (the Cornwall poetry scene). We will never forget your unmatched horniness. Say hi to Agatha and Jago for us, please!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105805/poldark-season-4-episode-5-recap-no-tears-left-to-cry\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 5 Recap: No Tears Left To Cry\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105803/poldark-season-4-episode-4-recap-cry-me-a-river\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 4 Recap: Cry Me A River\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105795/poldark-season-4-episode-3-recap-homeward-bound\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 3 Recap: Homeward Bound\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105789/poldark-season-4-premiere-recap-you-keep-me-hangin-on\">'Poldark' Season 4 Premiere Recap: You Keep Me Hangin' On\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/96601/poldark-season-3-finale-recap-look-what-you-made-me-do\">'Poldark' Season 3 Finale Recap: Look What You Made Me Do\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/13/poldark-season-3-episode-7-recap-i-wanna-sex-you-up/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: I Wanna Sex You Up\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/05/poldark-season-3-episode-6-recap-you-give-love-a-bad-name/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: You Give Love A Bad Name\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/29/poldark-season-3-episode-5-recap-the-one-that-got-away/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: The One That Got Away\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: Break Free\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Poldark' Season 4 Premiere Recap: You Keep Me Hangin' On",
"title": "'Poldark' Season 4 Premiere Recap: You Keep Me Hangin' On",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>For those who have no idea what this show is about, I advise you to read \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/poldark/\">my previous recaps\u003c/a>. If you’re too busy or impatient for all of that, here’s the much-abbreviated gist:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We're in Cornwall, England during the 18th century. It's bleak. Meet our protagonist, Ross Poldark. After watching all his friends die in the American Revolutionary War and almost dying himself, he returns to find his father dead and his girlfriend, Elizabeth, married to his first cousin. I told y'all it was bleak.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross distracts himself from burning everything to the ground by helping poor people, randomly marrying one of them (his maid, Demelza), and \u003ca href=\"https://secure.i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/03273/poldark-scythe_3273801b.jpg\">scything shirtless\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Karma eventually swoops down and takes care of Ross' girlfriend-stealing cousin; he is murdered... *wait for it* ...by a random puddle! Seriously! Ross and Elizabeth quickly shrug off the death and proceed to bump uglies. Later, Elizabeth gets grumpy over how long it's taking Ross to abandon his wife and children for her, so she marries Ross' arch enemy, Malfoy, while pregnant with Ross' secret love child. What a mess.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sick of being treated like a disposable AOL free-trial CD, in the Season 3 finale, Demelza decided to give Ross a dose of his own medicine by getting it on with a barely post-pubescent cutie who's slowly going blind. It was hot and kind of sad.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, and this show also stars a very cute pug named Horace.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, got all that? Great. Let’s do this…\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> fans have waited 10 long months for a new episode. How have the writers decided to reward us for our patience?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A gratuitous shot of Ross swimming half-naked, that's how!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106073\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/Ross-Poldark-swimming-shirtless-1.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"268\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Immediately followed by an even more gratuitous shot of a soaked Ross sauntering out of the surf!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106071\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/Ross-Poldark-shirtless-walking-ocean.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"268\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And, just in case you haven't gotten your eyeful yet, there's one final gift-wrapped shot of Ross' hot bod.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106072\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/Ross-Poldark-shirtless-breathing.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"357\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Touché, \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> writers. You have our attention.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross hears Demelza's laugh behind him and turns to find her canoodling with Prison Bestie. After three seasons of misbehavior, it would serve Ross right to have their love affair rubbed in his face a little bit, but, alas, it's just a paranoid daydream. The real Demelza, flanked by their two kids, greets him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"I saw you swim away.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"No. I'm still here.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"And I.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They both smile.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I know I went on and on about how much I wanted them to break up last season, but I'm still holding back an ugly sob.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106068\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/burst-into-tears-new-girl-zooey-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"218\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Prison Bestie rereads some of the poems he's written for Demelza. My favorite one from last season:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>Roses are red\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>Violets are blue\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>Please f-ck me\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What can I say? The guy has a way with words.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Prison Bestie suddenly grabs his forehead in pain. I'm pretty sure that's not how going blind works, but okay.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Time to (begrudgingly) check in on whatever evil mess Elizabeth and Malfoy are up to.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Actually, let's not.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-102172\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/slam-door.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"230\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at chez Poldark, Mrs. \u003ca href=\"https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/peanuts/images/b/bd/Pigpen.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20160715070328\">Pigpen\u003c/a>, the maid, decides to become the 19th-century equivalent of a junk folder by keeping a newly-arrived love letter from Demelza.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now showing:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106079\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/youve-got-mail-featured-copy.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"450\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/youve-got-mail-featured-copy.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/youve-got-mail-featured-copy-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/youve-got-mail-featured-copy-768x432.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/youve-got-mail-featured-copy-240x135.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/youve-got-mail-featured-copy-375x211.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/youve-got-mail-featured-copy-520x293.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>New character alert! His name is Jago, which just so happens to be the portmanteau couple name I use for \u003ca href=\"http://images4.fanpop.com/image/photos/17800000/Jafar-Iago-jafar-17878433-1267-763.jpg\">Jafar and Iago\u003c/a> from \u003cem>Aladdin. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106081\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/jafar-iago-aladdin.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Jago gets everyone riled up about merchants exporting grain to Portugal instead of feeding the hungry people at home, and leads a protest.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>What do we want?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Bread and maybe even some breakfast cereal that comes with a free toy in the box! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>When do we want it? \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Um, preferably before we all die of starvation!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In summary:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106082\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/kris-jenner-give-me-the-fucking-bread-4.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"250\" height=\"250\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But the merchants don't feel like sharing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106083\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/abu-aladdin-bread-eating.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"297\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The starving mob is mighty hangry (we've all been there), so a big brawl erupts. A guard strikes a woman really hard. Before I can even wish for his death, the guard is wrestled to the ground, smacks his head and croaks.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106085\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/nicki-minaj-shrug-gif-who-cares-oh-well.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Demelza finds Prison Bestie's mail! It's another horny poem!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Girl, you know it feels real good\u003c/em>\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>We can do it 'til we both wake up\u003c/em>\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>I wanna sex you up\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, fine, those are actually lyrics from a \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kO6BtpIzIiM\">Color Me Badd song\u003c/a>, but it's close enough.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Public Service Announcement:\u003c/strong> Did you know that PBS edits out entire scenes from the American broadcast of this show?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-58899\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/01/How-Rude-Stephanie-Full-House.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"256\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For instance, the Brits got to see Gross Goblin spying on Morwenna's feet through a peephole while touching himself!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106087\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/michelle-tanner-feet-gross-scream.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"360\" height=\"360\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Actually, typing that out made me realize PBS is shielding us from having nightmares. Thanks for looking out, y'all! Carry on.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Some rich white dudes are very miffed about the grain throwdown. If there wasn't a gross power disparity between the classes, one of the starving poor people could tell them to get over it with this advice:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106088\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/why-dont-you-have-a-piece-of-bread-calm-down-rhobh.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"356\" height=\"200\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Instead, the rich white dudes draw up charges against all the paupers who were present at the smackdown, including Jago and Demelza's brothers, Drake and Sam. Ross offers to round them all up himself (lest we forget, one mere episode ago, he threatened to shoot all of his friends in the street, so they're used to his class traitor ways by now).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because this season premiere is on steroids and generally doing the most, Jago, Drake and Sam are quickly put on trial and sentenced to death.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-98528\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/01/boy-that-escalated-quickly.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"355\" height=\"186\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross races home and decides:\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>this is not the right time to tell Demelza her brothers are about to be hanged.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>this \u003cem>is\u003c/em> the right time to casually chat about whether polyamory is possible.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Do you think there's room in a woman's heart for two men?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"Or two women in a man's?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That's right, D! Don't let him turn things around on you just cause you mercy F'd a cutie with bad eyes!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Ross goes to the public hanging with no apparent plan. But before we get to the wildly unnecessary capital punishment, can we pause to appreciate this woman fully checking out Ross' butt?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106089\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/Poldark-butt.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"268\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bless her heart.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, back to all the injustice. Jago, Sam and Drake are marched to their nooses, and Ross decides his only option is to go full-on nuclear disgruntled Apple store customer:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jiyMx7rDKAM\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Unlike the woman in the clip above, Ross actually has a point, inspiring one of the judges to announce that he's had a change of heart: \u003cem>I'll be 66.6% reasonable! Drake and Sam can live! But let's still kill Jago 'cause what kind of name is Jago?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The executioner doesn't waste any time. Rest in power, Jago! We hardly knew ye.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106091\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/jafar-iago-neck-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"284\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Demelza is over at Prison Bestie's house, trying to give him the It's Not You, It's Me (And Also Your Bad Poetry) talk. Not taking the hint, Prison Bestie shares an extended remix of his horny poem. Demelza doesn't know what to make of the new lines because she just learned to read and write a few years ago, so he gives her the CliffsNotes version: Have sex with me again or I will kill myself. Romantic, and not at all alarming!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106093\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/chrissy-tiegan-awkward.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"446\" height=\"252\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>All right, fine, let's check in with Elizabeth. She's still drinking liquid Xanax (whatever helps you forget all the evil stuff you've done!), she's thinking about having another kid (maybe this one will actually be related to the guy she's married to this time!) and she's planning on moving away from Cornwall for good.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106094\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/need-help-packing-beat-it-queen-drag-race-bianca-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"274\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now that that's out of the way, let's cleanse our palates with a character we all love and adore. HORACE THE PUG!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106095 size-medium\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-3-800x582.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"582\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-3-800x582.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-3-160x116.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-3-768x559.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-3-1020x743.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-3-1200x874.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-3-1920x1398.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-3-1180x859.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-3-960x699.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-3-240x175.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-3-375x273.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-3-520x379.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106096 size-medium\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-2-800x570.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"570\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-2-800x570.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-2-160x114.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-2-768x547.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-2-1020x726.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-2-1200x854.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-2-1920x1367.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-2-1180x840.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-2-960x684.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-2-240x171.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-2-375x267.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-2-520x370.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106097 size-medium\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-800x862.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"862\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-800x862.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-160x172.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-768x828.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-1020x1099.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-1114x1200.jpg 1114w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-1180x1272.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-960x1034.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-240x259.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-375x404.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-520x560.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace.jpg 1392w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Has Horace been working out? He looks good!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Apparently, something other than Horace's natural beauty is happening in this scene. Blondie and Doc are talking about reproducing. Horace barks wildly.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I am fluent in Horace, so I'll translate: \u003cem>Kids?! I object! What am I, chopped liver?! (Mmmm, chopped liver.) But for real, I don't need some rugrats getting jam all over my gorgeous coat and tugging at my ears and stuff. Ring the alarm, I've been doing this too long, and I'll be damned if I see another child \u003c/em>\u003cem>on your arm.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Horace makes a convincing case.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106092\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/imwithhorance.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"572\" height=\"572\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/imwithhorance.jpg 572w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/imwithhorance-160x160.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/imwithhorance-240x240.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/imwithhorance-375x375.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/imwithhorance-520x520.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/imwithhorance-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/imwithhorance-50x50.jpg 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/imwithhorance-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/imwithhorance-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/imwithhorance-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/imwithhorance-150x150.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 572px) 100vw, 572px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Am I doing too much?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Maybe.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Will I stop?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106099\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/nope.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"700\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/nope.jpeg 600w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/nope-160x187.jpeg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/nope-240x280.jpeg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/nope-375x438.jpeg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/nope-520x607.jpeg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now that I got that out of my system, let's get back to the action. At chez Poldark, Ross and Demelza are in couples therapy, minus the therapist. After a calm and frank conversation about their respective lovers, Ross admits he has taken Demelza for granted (ya think?!) and says he now realizes she is indispensable, irreplaceable and the better part of him (again, ya think?!?).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-36622\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-2.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"260\" height=\"194\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But has this epiphany arrived too late to save their marriage?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza cuddles up to Ross by the fire and says she hopes not.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106101\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/crying-fan.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"248\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Malfoy and Elizabeth. \u003c/strong>SCRAM!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: Horace the Pug. \u003c/strong>I can't wait to vote for him in 2020.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Random Lady at the Hanging. \u003c/strong>Innocent men are about to die and she's got man buns on the brain? I respect that.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: Ross. \u003c/strong>Congrats are in order! He didn't treat his wife like crap for one whole episode! Keep it up! Or else.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: Demelza\u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>Who knew bedding (or in this case, sand dune-ing) a younger man was all she needed to do to access Ross' love? She shall heretofore be known as the patron saint of having one's cake and eating it too. #Goals!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105805/poldark-season-4-episode-5-recap-no-tears-left-to-cry\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 5 Recap: No Tears Left To Cry\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105803/poldark-season-4-episode-4-recap-cry-me-a-river\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 4 Recap: Cry Me A River\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105795/poldark-season-4-episode-3-recap-homeward-bound\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 3 Recap: Homeward Bound\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105791/poldark-season-4-episode-2-recap-ready-to-run\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 2 Recap: Ready to Run\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/96601/poldark-season-3-finale-recap-look-what-you-made-me-do\">'Poldark' Season 3 Finale Recap: Look What You Made Me Do\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/13/poldark-season-3-episode-7-recap-i-wanna-sex-you-up/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: I Wanna Sex You Up\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/05/poldark-season-3-episode-6-recap-you-give-love-a-bad-name/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: You Give Love A Bad Name\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/29/poldark-season-3-episode-5-recap-the-one-that-got-away/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: The One That Got Away\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: Break Free\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin’ Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"headline": "'Poldark' Season 4 Premiere Recap: You Keep Me Hangin' On",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>For those who have no idea what this show is about, I advise you to read \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/poldark/\">my previous recaps\u003c/a>. If you’re too busy or impatient for all of that, here’s the much-abbreviated gist:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>We're in Cornwall, England during the 18th century. It's bleak. Meet our protagonist, Ross Poldark. After watching all his friends die in the American Revolutionary War and almost dying himself, he returns to find his father dead and his girlfriend, Elizabeth, married to his first cousin. I told y'all it was bleak.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross distracts himself from burning everything to the ground by helping poor people, randomly marrying one of them (his maid, Demelza), and \u003ca href=\"https://secure.i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/03273/poldark-scythe_3273801b.jpg\">scything shirtless\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Karma eventually swoops down and takes care of Ross' girlfriend-stealing cousin; he is murdered... *wait for it* ...by a random puddle! Seriously! Ross and Elizabeth quickly shrug off the death and proceed to bump uglies. Later, Elizabeth gets grumpy over how long it's taking Ross to abandon his wife and children for her, so she marries Ross' arch enemy, Malfoy, while pregnant with Ross' secret love child. What a mess.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sick of being treated like a disposable AOL free-trial CD, in the Season 3 finale, Demelza decided to give Ross a dose of his own medicine by getting it on with a barely post-pubescent cutie who's slowly going blind. It was hot and kind of sad.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Oh, and this show also stars a very cute pug named Horace.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, got all that? Great. Let’s do this…\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> fans have waited 10 long months for a new episode. How have the writers decided to reward us for our patience?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>A gratuitous shot of Ross swimming half-naked, that's how!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106073\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/Ross-Poldark-swimming-shirtless-1.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"268\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Immediately followed by an even more gratuitous shot of a soaked Ross sauntering out of the surf!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106071\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/Ross-Poldark-shirtless-walking-ocean.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"268\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And, just in case you haven't gotten your eyeful yet, there's one final gift-wrapped shot of Ross' hot bod.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106072\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/Ross-Poldark-shirtless-breathing.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"357\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Touché, \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> writers. You have our attention.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross hears Demelza's laugh behind him and turns to find her canoodling with Prison Bestie. After three seasons of misbehavior, it would serve Ross right to have their love affair rubbed in his face a little bit, but, alas, it's just a paranoid daydream. The real Demelza, flanked by their two kids, greets him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"I saw you swim away.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"No. I'm still here.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"And I.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They both smile.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I know I went on and on about how much I wanted them to break up last season, but I'm still holding back an ugly sob.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106068\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/burst-into-tears-new-girl-zooey-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"218\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Prison Bestie rereads some of the poems he's written for Demelza. My favorite one from last season:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>Roses are red\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>Violets are blue\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>Please f-ck me\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>What can I say? The guy has a way with words.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Prison Bestie suddenly grabs his forehead in pain. I'm pretty sure that's not how going blind works, but okay.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Time to (begrudgingly) check in on whatever evil mess Elizabeth and Malfoy are up to.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Actually, let's not.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-102172\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/02/slam-door.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"230\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at chez Poldark, Mrs. \u003ca href=\"https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/peanuts/images/b/bd/Pigpen.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20160715070328\">Pigpen\u003c/a>, the maid, decides to become the 19th-century equivalent of a junk folder by keeping a newly-arrived love letter from Demelza.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now showing:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106079\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/youve-got-mail-featured-copy.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"450\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/youve-got-mail-featured-copy.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/youve-got-mail-featured-copy-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/youve-got-mail-featured-copy-768x432.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/youve-got-mail-featured-copy-240x135.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/youve-got-mail-featured-copy-375x211.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/youve-got-mail-featured-copy-520x293.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>New character alert! His name is Jago, which just so happens to be the portmanteau couple name I use for \u003ca href=\"http://images4.fanpop.com/image/photos/17800000/Jafar-Iago-jafar-17878433-1267-763.jpg\">Jafar and Iago\u003c/a> from \u003cem>Aladdin. \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106081\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/jafar-iago-aladdin.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"264\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Jago gets everyone riled up about merchants exporting grain to Portugal instead of feeding the hungry people at home, and leads a protest.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>What do we want?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Bread and maybe even some breakfast cereal that comes with a free toy in the box! \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>When do we want it? \u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Um, preferably before we all die of starvation!\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In summary:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106082\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/kris-jenner-give-me-the-fucking-bread-4.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"250\" height=\"250\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But the merchants don't feel like sharing.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106083\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/abu-aladdin-bread-eating.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"297\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The starving mob is mighty hangry (we've all been there), so a big brawl erupts. A guard strikes a woman really hard. Before I can even wish for his death, the guard is wrestled to the ground, smacks his head and croaks.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106085\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/nicki-minaj-shrug-gif-who-cares-oh-well.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Demelza finds Prison Bestie's mail! It's another horny poem!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Girl, you know it feels real good\u003c/em>\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>We can do it 'til we both wake up\u003c/em>\u003cbr>\n\u003cem>I wanna sex you up\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, fine, those are actually lyrics from a \u003ca href=\"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kO6BtpIzIiM\">Color Me Badd song\u003c/a>, but it's close enough.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Public Service Announcement:\u003c/strong> Did you know that PBS edits out entire scenes from the American broadcast of this show?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-58899\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/01/How-Rude-Stephanie-Full-House.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"320\" height=\"256\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For instance, the Brits got to see Gross Goblin spying on Morwenna's feet through a peephole while touching himself!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106087\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/michelle-tanner-feet-gross-scream.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"360\" height=\"360\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Actually, typing that out made me realize PBS is shielding us from having nightmares. Thanks for looking out, y'all! Carry on.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Some rich white dudes are very miffed about the grain throwdown. If there wasn't a gross power disparity between the classes, one of the starving poor people could tell them to get over it with this advice:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106088\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/why-dont-you-have-a-piece-of-bread-calm-down-rhobh.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"356\" height=\"200\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Instead, the rich white dudes draw up charges against all the paupers who were present at the smackdown, including Jago and Demelza's brothers, Drake and Sam. Ross offers to round them all up himself (lest we forget, one mere episode ago, he threatened to shoot all of his friends in the street, so they're used to his class traitor ways by now).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because this season premiere is on steroids and generally doing the most, Jago, Drake and Sam are quickly put on trial and sentenced to death.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-98528\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/01/boy-that-escalated-quickly.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"355\" height=\"186\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross races home and decides:\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>this is not the right time to tell Demelza her brothers are about to be hanged.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>this \u003cem>is\u003c/em> the right time to casually chat about whether polyamory is possible.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Do you think there's room in a woman's heart for two men?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"Or two women in a man's?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That's right, D! Don't let him turn things around on you just cause you mercy F'd a cutie with bad eyes!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Ross goes to the public hanging with no apparent plan. But before we get to the wildly unnecessary capital punishment, can we pause to appreciate this woman fully checking out Ross' butt?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106089\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/Poldark-butt.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"268\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bless her heart.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Okay, back to all the injustice. Jago, Sam and Drake are marched to their nooses, and Ross decides his only option is to go full-on nuclear disgruntled Apple store customer:\u003c/p>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutube'>\n \u003cspan class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__embedYoutubeInside'>\n \u003ciframe\n loading='lazy'\n class='utils-parseShortcode-shortcodes-__youtubeShortcode__youtubePlayer'\n type='text/html'\n src='//www.youtube.com/embed/jiyMx7rDKAM'\n title='//www.youtube.com/embed/jiyMx7rDKAM'\n allowfullscreen='true'\n style='border:0;'>\u003c/iframe>\n \u003c/span>\n \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003cp>Unlike the woman in the clip above, Ross actually has a point, inspiring one of the judges to announce that he's had a change of heart: \u003cem>I'll be 66.6% reasonable! Drake and Sam can live! But let's still kill Jago 'cause what kind of name is Jago?\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The executioner doesn't waste any time. Rest in power, Jago! We hardly knew ye.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106091\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/jafar-iago-neck-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"284\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Meanwhile, Demelza is over at Prison Bestie's house, trying to give him the It's Not You, It's Me (And Also Your Bad Poetry) talk. Not taking the hint, Prison Bestie shares an extended remix of his horny poem. Demelza doesn't know what to make of the new lines because she just learned to read and write a few years ago, so he gives her the CliffsNotes version: Have sex with me again or I will kill myself. Romantic, and not at all alarming!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106093\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/chrissy-tiegan-awkward.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"446\" height=\"252\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>All right, fine, let's check in with Elizabeth. She's still drinking liquid Xanax (whatever helps you forget all the evil stuff you've done!), she's thinking about having another kid (maybe this one will actually be related to the guy she's married to this time!) and she's planning on moving away from Cornwall for good.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-106094\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/need-help-packing-beat-it-queen-drag-race-bianca-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"274\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now that that's out of the way, let's cleanse our palates with a character we all love and adore. HORACE THE PUG!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106095 size-medium\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-3-800x582.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"582\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-3-800x582.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-3-160x116.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-3-768x559.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-3-1020x743.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-3-1200x874.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-3-1920x1398.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-3-1180x859.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-3-960x699.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-3-240x175.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-3-375x273.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-3-520x379.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106096 size-medium\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-2-800x570.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"570\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-2-800x570.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-2-160x114.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-2-768x547.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-2-1020x726.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-2-1200x854.jpg 1200w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-2-1920x1367.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-2-1180x840.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-2-960x684.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-2-240x171.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-2-375x267.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-2-520x370.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-106097 size-medium\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-800x862.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"800\" height=\"862\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-800x862.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-160x172.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-768x828.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-1020x1099.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-1114x1200.jpg 1114w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-1180x1272.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-960x1034.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-240x259.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-375x404.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace-520x560.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/horace.jpg 1392w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 800px) 100vw, 800px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Has Horace been working out? He looks good!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Apparently, something other than Horace's natural beauty is happening in this scene. Blondie and Doc are talking about reproducing. Horace barks wildly.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I am fluent in Horace, so I'll translate: \u003cem>Kids?! I object! What am I, chopped liver?! (Mmmm, chopped liver.) But for real, I don't need some rugrats getting jam all over my gorgeous coat and tugging at my ears and stuff. Ring the alarm, I've been doing this too long, and I'll be damned if I see another child \u003c/em>\u003cem>on your arm.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Horace makes a convincing case.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106092\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/imwithhorance.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"572\" height=\"572\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/imwithhorance.jpg 572w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/imwithhorance-160x160.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/imwithhorance-240x240.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/imwithhorance-375x375.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/imwithhorance-520x520.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/imwithhorance-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/imwithhorance-50x50.jpg 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/imwithhorance-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/imwithhorance-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/imwithhorance-128x128.jpg 128w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/imwithhorance-150x150.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 572px) 100vw, 572px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Am I doing too much?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Maybe.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Will I stop?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106099\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/nope.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"700\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/nope.jpeg 600w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/nope-160x187.jpeg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/nope-240x280.jpeg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/nope-375x438.jpeg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/nope-520x607.jpeg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Now that I got that out of my system, let's get back to the action. At chez Poldark, Ross and Demelza are in couples therapy, minus the therapist. After a calm and frank conversation about their respective lovers, Ross admits he has taken Demelza for granted (ya think?!) and says he now realizes she is indispensable, irreplaceable and the better part of him (again, ya think?!?).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-36622\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-2.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"260\" height=\"194\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But has this epiphany arrived too late to save their marriage?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza cuddles up to Ross by the fire and says she hopes not.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-106101\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2018/09/crying-fan.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"248\">\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>After every episode, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Malfoy and Elizabeth. \u003c/strong>SCRAM!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: Horace the Pug. \u003c/strong>I can't wait to vote for him in 2020.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Random Lady at the Hanging. \u003c/strong>Innocent men are about to die and she's got man buns on the brain? I respect that.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: Ross. \u003c/strong>Congrats are in order! He didn't treat his wife like crap for one whole episode! Keep it up! Or else.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: Demelza\u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>. \u003c/strong>Who knew bedding (or in this case, sand dune-ing) a younger man was all she needed to do to access Ross' love? She shall heretofore be known as the patron saint of having one's cake and eating it too. #Goals!\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Until next week! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or read all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105805/poldark-season-4-episode-5-recap-no-tears-left-to-cry\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 5 Recap: No Tears Left To Cry\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105803/poldark-season-4-episode-4-recap-cry-me-a-river\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 4 Recap: Cry Me A River\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105795/poldark-season-4-episode-3-recap-homeward-bound\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 3 Recap: Homeward Bound\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/105791/poldark-season-4-episode-2-recap-ready-to-run\">'Poldark' Season 4 Episode 2 Recap: Ready to Run\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/pop/96601/poldark-season-3-finale-recap-look-what-you-made-me-do\">'Poldark' Season 3 Finale Recap: Look What You Made Me Do\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/13/poldark-season-3-episode-7-recap-i-wanna-sex-you-up/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: I Wanna Sex You Up\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/05/poldark-season-3-episode-6-recap-you-give-love-a-bad-name/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: You Give Love A Bad Name\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/29/poldark-season-3-episode-5-recap-the-one-that-got-away/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: The One That Got Away\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: Break Free\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"disqusTitle": "'Poldark' Season 3 Finale Recap: Look What You Made Me Do",
"title": "'Poldark' Season 3 Finale Recap: Look What You Made Me Do",
"headTitle": "KQED Pop | KQED Arts",
"content": "\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/13/poldark-season-3-episode-7-recap-i-wanna-sex-you-up/\">the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Ross kissed Elizabeth all over her head, Demelza asked for an open relationship, and Jennifer Lawrence randomly hooked up with Gross Goblin. Will Ross get mono from all that smooching? Will Demelza finally blast some Marvin Gaye and get it on with Prison Bestie? Will Jennifer Lawrence explain why in the world she gave her sister's evil husband a lap dance? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the edge of a cliff, Bone Maraca Pirate and Mrs. Pigpen are getting tanked on rum because what else is there to do in 18th-century Cornwall? But something disrupts their day drinking; French ships coming in hot! All the other bored and/or drunk townies pick up their pitchforks and tiki torches (too soon?), vow to start using the term \"freedom fries\" (not too soon), and head to the beach to meet the invasion.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/pitchfork-mob-gif-south-park.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97460\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/pitchfork-mob-gif-south-park.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But no one comes ashore. The French were either spying or just wanted to take a sick Instagram shot of waves crashing on the English shore (no one said getting 100 likes was easy).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/like-instagram-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97459\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/like-instagram-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a different cliffside, Demelza reads a poem from Prison Bestie. It reads:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>Roses are red\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>Violets are blue\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>Please f-ck me.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza is wowed by his frank lyricism. Her adultery likelihood meter goes from 95% to 96%.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On his way back from passing laws in London that make sure poor people can't afford grain during a famine, Malfoy passes Drake's house and sees him minding his own damn business. Malfoy makes a mental note to destroy the little happiness he has left because sociopaths gonna sociopath.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Toe Jam Headquarters, Doc prescribes Morwenna a tincture that will help her deal with her FML existence (it knocks her out cold) and advises Gross Goblin to continue not raping her. Gross Goblin quickly agrees because Jennifer Lawrence has taken off her shoe and is rubbing her foot while staring longingly at him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dear Jennifer Lawrence, I have one thing to say to you:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/07/tyra-rooting-for-you.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-16986\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/07/tyra-rooting-for-you.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"303\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After Doc leaves, Morwenna snores and dreams of toads, while Gross Goblin and J. La have really loud sex in the next room.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/scarlet-ohara-gone-with-the-wind-gagging-upset-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97461\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/scarlet-ohara-gone-with-the-wind-gagging-upset-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In town, Ross has been chosen to lead a neighborhood-watch militia. I can't even pretend to care at this point.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/next-housewives-kenya-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97464\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/next-housewives-kenya-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"278\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Athlete's Foot Locker, Jennifer Lawrence announces that she's pregnant. So it's official. She never wanted revenge for her sister, only to get a piece of that toe-slurping action. Congratulations, J. La, you're officially the worst.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/i-hate-you-gif-22.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97466\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/i-hate-you-gif-22.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Drake discovers that someone has destroyed his blacksmith shop and driven off his customers. Geez, let the poor boy sadly hammer hot metal! Demelza realizes Malfoy is most likely behind this and runs to Ross for help. Ross says he has bigger things to worry about and explains that his awesome, gorgeous, cool ex would never allow such a thing to happen anyway. Demelza's facial reaction (and a little something I added) speaks for us all:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97467\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-1020x572.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"359\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-1020x572.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-800x449.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-768x431.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-1920x1077.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-1180x662.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-960x538.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-240x135.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-375x210.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-520x292.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For those keeping track, her extra-marital affair likelihood meter just went up from 96% to 97%.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Toe Fungus Incorporated, Jennifer Lawrence has an idea: she'll get married to a random librarian and they'll pretend Gross Goblin has nothing to do with the baby... for a price. So this was all about money? It would have been so much better if Jennifer Lawrence had been a revenge-obsessed mastermind, but she's just a horny blackmailer. FAIL. The writers trying to effectively utilize this character:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/Funny-Fail-Moments-034.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97468\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/Funny-Fail-Moments-034.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"321\" height=\"354\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the other side of town, Demelza continues to beg Ross to stand up for Drake and all the poor people being trampled by the Malfoys of the world. For once, Ross doesn't feel like it. \"You would have me pontificate and play the hero and make some grand, dramatic gesture. I am not that man, Demelza! I have never been that man!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Hold on a minute, brb. *rewatches the past three seasons of this show* Okay, I'm back. Um, Ross, you are very much the kind of man who loves pontificating and playing the hero. Just admit that you're feeling lazy today.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That night, Malfoy's Slytherin crony burns down Drake's barn. I distinctly hear a horse in distress, but am choosing to ignore the possibility that this dude just murdered Drake's horse for no good reason.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/wpid-wp-1435808733932.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97470\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/wpid-wp-1435808733932.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"420\" height=\"398\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I get enough violence against horses from \u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em>, thank you very much.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because he's a decent person who hasn't yet learned that you can't convince people to stop being pure evil by politely asking, Drake strolls over to Elizabeth's to humbly request that her husband's thugs maybe stop trying to kill him and his livelihood. While Elizabeth is in the middle of saying that Malfoy would never do such a thing, Malfoy storms in, threatens to have Drake physically thrown out, and flat-out admits to terrorizing Cornwall's Nicest Person of the Year. Somehow, Elizabeth is surprised by this.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/use-your-brain-dance-moms-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97471\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/use-your-brain-dance-moms-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Outside, Drake continues to mind his business in the nicest way possible, when three Slytherin cronies accuse him of trespassing. They proceed to punch, stomp, and almost kick him to death, before dumping his body into a muddy ditch.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/help-somebody-simba.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97473\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/help-somebody-simba.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back on Bunions and Corns Drive, Jennifer Lawrence is still blackmailing Gross Goblin by threatening to write the Bishop about the baby and the mole shaped like a pig's tail on Gross Goblin's butt.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/too-much-information-tmi-chandler-friends-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97474\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/too-much-information-tmi-chandler-friends-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"285\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Morwenna overhears everything and feels bummed that she's not only married to trash, but related to it too.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/i-hate-everyone-pissed-girl-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97475\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/i-hate-everyone-pissed-girl-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in the muddy ditch, Demelza and Sam find Drake and rush him home. Doc is like, \u003cem>Woah, you almost died... again! \u003c/em>Drake is too nice to say what he's thinking:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/no-shit-sherlock-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97476\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/no-shit-sherlock-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"233\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Drake is also too nice to tell anyone the identities of his almost-murderers. Ughhhh, sometimes when they go low, we don't have to go high, Michelle!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sam agrees with me. He takes a break from memorizing the Bible to run to the bar and incite a riot with the help of Bone Maraca Pirate.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/amen-raven-gif-drag-race.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97477\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/amen-raven-gif-drag-race.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"330\" height=\"248\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Malfoy Manor, Elizabeth finally gets pissed about something Malfoy has done and threatens to end their marriage (this probably just means staying married but not talking to each other that much because it's the 18th century). Being mean to Drake is akin to the high crime of kicking all the puppies. I'm glad Elizabeth can see that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/even-a-broken-clock-is-right-twice-a-day-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97478\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/even-a-broken-clock-is-right-twice-a-day-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Drake's bedside, Mrs. Pigpen grabs Demelza to tell her she has a visitor. When Demelza resists, Mrs. Pigpen sermonizes: \"How oft do the men take a fancy to a woman, and sometimes act on it?\" Preach that Gospel!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-2.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36622\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-2.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"260\" height=\"194\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza declares that, since Ross gave up all thoughts of Elizabeth, she should do the same with Prison Bestie. Mrs. Pigpen, #TeamPrisonBestie co-captain (I'm the other one), replies: \"Did he? You sure?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_n19y4rrbwl1rrx588o1_500.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38275\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_n19y4rrbwl1rrx588o1_500.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"464\" height=\"328\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Ingrown Toe Nail Lane, Gross Goblin barges into Morwenna's room and demands sex. But he quickly learns that the Old Morwenna can't come to the phone right now. Why? 'Cause she's dead! The new Morwenna has had it. She tells him to get the F out of her room and never come back. When he unbuckles his belt and starts his rape routine, she threatens to murder their child.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/meryl-j-lo-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96487\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/meryl-j-lo-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Someone else who's had it (for the zillionth time): Demelza. She finds Ross and tells him she knows about how he kissed Elizabeth all over her head. \"I'm weary of it. Secret kisses, secret smiles. How many more secrets must there be between us? Keep them, Ross. Keep them all. And I will keep mine.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/02/giphy-3.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-20666\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/02/giphy-3.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"230\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza walks home to find Prison Bestie waiting for her. She's like, \u003cem>Hey, I got your little poem. Let's do this.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/get-it-girl-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97482\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/get-it-girl-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They walk to the beach, where Prison Bestie reveals that, in six months, he will be completely blind. Demelza holds his hand (and the meter ticks up a notch from 97% to 98%).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere, Ross gets a letter informing him that there is a threat in town. He runs off with his little neighborhood watch.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/no-one-cares-hunter-E2-99-A5-35130856-391-331.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-48723\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/no-one-cares-hunter-E2-99-A5-35130856-391-331.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"391\" height=\"331\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back to the good stuff: Prison Bestie explains to Demelza that yes, he technically owes his life to Ross and it would be pretty messed up to sex up his wife, but having an affair would be so cool and poetic! Demelza isn't so sure... until he puts his hand on her collarbone. 99%!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97484\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-1020x572.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"359\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-1020x572.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-800x449.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-768x431.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-1920x1077.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-1180x662.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-960x539.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-240x135.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-375x210.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-520x292.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Then he says, \"Shall we grant ourselves to each other, so I may go into the darkness knowing that I once tasted heaven?\" *throws adultery meter out* Not even a real French invasion could stop this seduction at this point.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza takes his hand and leads him into the grass!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-7.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97485\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-7.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"284\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">They lie down!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-2-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97489\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-2-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">They kiss!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-3-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97488 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-3-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">He puts his hand on her knee!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97490\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">She guides it up her skirt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-4-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97487 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-4-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">They get to it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-6-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97486\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-6-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In more snooze-worthy news, Ross and his little militia are awaiting the supposed threat. It turns out to just be Sam and Bone Maraca Pirate's riot. They want to raid Malfoy's grain storage to feed the starving. Despite the fact that this kind of Robin Hood-ing is very much Ross' brand, he threatens to shoot all of his poor friends and vows to defend the interests of the ruling class.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-confused-2-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97494 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-confused-2-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sam is like, \u003cem>Bro, WTF! You love poor people! Let us eat.\u003c/em> Ross warns that they have until the count of 10 to leave.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-confused-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97491\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-confused-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bone Maraca defiantly says, \"Or what?\" Ross' militia load and point their rifles.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-pained-reaction-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97492\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-pained-reaction-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross barks that they leave him no choice. Bone Maraca Pirate starts counting for him because he's a bad ass.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-ears-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97493\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-ears-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"277\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Bone Maraca Pirate gets to 10, Ross has a flashback of the guillotine and pictures all his friends getting shot, so he announces that he still cares about poor people and will run for Parliament at some point to advocate for their right not to starve to death. That's cute and all, but these people are starving \u003cem>right now,\u003c/em> and you just randomly pulled a bunch of guns on them. We're supposed to just forgive and forget that?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-huh-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97497\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-huh-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"290\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Apparently so. Bone Maraca Pirate and the other rioters react like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-okay-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97498\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-okay-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"360\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sidenote:\u003c/strong> Et tu, Doc? You still have firing squad PTSD and now you've joined one? I thought you were better than this. Consider your Horace the Pug petting privileges REVOKED!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97502\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-1020x570.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"358\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-1020x570.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-160x89.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-800x447.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-768x429.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-1920x1073.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-1180x659.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-960x536.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-240x134.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-375x210.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-520x291.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Elizabeth wins an Oscar for Best Actress in a Loveless Marriage by putting on a big show of leaving Malfoy unless he swears on a Bible that he'll never bring up Valentine obviously being her ex's baby. Malfoy sobs and does as she asks. It's pretty awesome to see the twerp cry, but, in this situation, I'm #TeamNobody.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/i-hate-both-of-you-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97503\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/i-hate-both-of-you-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"243\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upon returning from almost killing a bunch of his friends, Ross can't find Demelza anywhere. Mrs. Pigpen feels really bad for drunkenly stirring the pot so hard earlier, and tells him Demelza went off with \"a visitor\" and might not come back.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/dorinda-ashamed-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97504\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/dorinda-ashamed-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"232\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While desperately looking for Demelza, Ross instead finds Malfoy, who doesn't waste a moment gloating about how loyal his wife and how promising his government career are. All together now:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/06/giphy.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-27656\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/06/giphy.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"450\" height=\"254\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over on Foot-in-Mouth Avenue, Morwenna hears a knock at the door and opens it to find a bouquet of flowers. She walks outside and says, \"Wherever you are, know that I love you.\" A beat-up Drake, hiding behind the front gate, breaks down. Morwenna does too. I'm not crying, you are!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cry-sob-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97505\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cry-sob-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That night, Ross lies in bed alone, thinking about what a crappy husband he's been and how embarrassing it's going to be when Demelza drags him on her new single:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97510\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-800x812.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"609\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-800x812.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-160x162.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-768x779.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-960x974.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-240x244.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-375x381.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-520x528.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-50x50.jpg 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark.jpg 1009w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross' thoughts are interrupted by a returning Demelza.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"I thought you might not return.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"I thought so too. And here I am.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They lie beside each other, both sad and regretful.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Demelza, may I ask...\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"No, Ross. Ask me nothing.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They look at each other through their shared pain. Ross holds her into the night and whatever comes next.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/bethenny-cry.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97507\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/bethenny-cry.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"260\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/bethenny-cry-bottle-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97506\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/bethenny-cry-bottle-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"278\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Since the season is over, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Gross Goblin, Malfoy, Slytherin Crony, Jennifer Lawrence. \u003c/strong>I hope their birthday parties get cancelled and they all die. 🙂\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: Sam. \u003c/strong>Congrats to him for finally taking a break from judging people for kissing to do something productive.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Bone Maraca Pirate. \u003c/strong>Now that Agatha's gone, B.M.P. has taken over the role of the delightful smack-talking alcoholic elder. I'm into it.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: Morwenna and Drake. \u003c/strong>Giving them a fake medal is the least I can do for the year they've had. Idea for next season: They stop taking crap from people and go on a \u003cem>Kill Bill\u003c/em>-style revenge rampage.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: \u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>Demelza. \u003c/strong>She finally had enough of being an afterthought / doormat and did something purely for herself for once. I'm sure some of the fandom will judge her harsher than they judged Ross when he cheated (#sexism #patriarchy), but I stand with Demelza.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That’s all, folks! It’s been a pleasure watching along with you this season. Until next year! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or relive all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And, before you go, vote in this poll to determine whether I recap \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> Season 2 or not:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[polldaddy poll=9877696]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/13/poldark-season-3-episode-7-recap-i-wanna-sex-you-up/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: I Wanna Sex You Up\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/05/poldark-season-3-episode-6-recap-you-give-love-a-bad-name/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: You Give Love A Bad Name\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/29/poldark-season-3-episode-5-recap-the-one-that-got-away/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: The One That Got Away\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: Break Free\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"http://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/19/poldark-season-1-premiere-recap-stayin-alive/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1 Premiere Recap: Stayin’ Alive\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\n",
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"excerpt": "I'm sorry, the old Demelza can't come to the phone right now. Why? 'Cause she's dead!",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>In \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/13/poldark-season-3-episode-7-recap-i-wanna-sex-you-up/\">the previous episode of \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, Ross kissed Elizabeth all over her head, Demelza asked for an open relationship, and Jennifer Lawrence randomly hooked up with Gross Goblin. Will Ross get mono from all that smooching? Will Demelza finally blast some Marvin Gaye and get it on with Prison Bestie? Will Jennifer Lawrence explain why in the world she gave her sister's evil husband a lap dance? Only one way to find out! On with the show!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the edge of a cliff, Bone Maraca Pirate and Mrs. Pigpen are getting tanked on rum because what else is there to do in 18th-century Cornwall? But something disrupts their day drinking; French ships coming in hot! All the other bored and/or drunk townies pick up their pitchforks and tiki torches (too soon?), vow to start using the term \"freedom fries\" (not too soon), and head to the beach to meet the invasion.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/pitchfork-mob-gif-south-park.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97460\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/pitchfork-mob-gif-south-park.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>But no one comes ashore. The French were either spying or just wanted to take a sick Instagram shot of waves crashing on the English shore (no one said getting 100 likes was easy).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/like-instagram-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97459\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/like-instagram-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"content": "\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On a different cliffside, Demelza reads a poem from Prison Bestie. It reads:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>Roses are red\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>Violets are blue\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">\u003cem>Please f-ck me.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza is wowed by his frank lyricism. Her adultery likelihood meter goes from 95% to 96%.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On his way back from passing laws in London that make sure poor people can't afford grain during a famine, Malfoy passes Drake's house and sees him minding his own damn business. Malfoy makes a mental note to destroy the little happiness he has left because sociopaths gonna sociopath.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Toe Jam Headquarters, Doc prescribes Morwenna a tincture that will help her deal with her FML existence (it knocks her out cold) and advises Gross Goblin to continue not raping her. Gross Goblin quickly agrees because Jennifer Lawrence has taken off her shoe and is rubbing her foot while staring longingly at him.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Dear Jennifer Lawrence, I have one thing to say to you:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/07/tyra-rooting-for-you.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-16986\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2015/07/tyra-rooting-for-you.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"303\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>After Doc leaves, Morwenna snores and dreams of toads, while Gross Goblin and J. La have really loud sex in the next room.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/scarlet-ohara-gone-with-the-wind-gagging-upset-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97461\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/scarlet-ohara-gone-with-the-wind-gagging-upset-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In town, Ross has been chosen to lead a neighborhood-watch militia. I can't even pretend to care at this point.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/next-housewives-kenya-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97464\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/next-housewives-kenya-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"498\" height=\"278\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Athlete's Foot Locker, Jennifer Lawrence announces that she's pregnant. So it's official. She never wanted revenge for her sister, only to get a piece of that toe-slurping action. Congratulations, J. La, you're officially the worst.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/i-hate-you-gif-22.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97466\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/i-hate-you-gif-22.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>The next day, Drake discovers that someone has destroyed his blacksmith shop and driven off his customers. Geez, let the poor boy sadly hammer hot metal! Demelza realizes Malfoy is most likely behind this and runs to Ross for help. Ross says he has bigger things to worry about and explains that his awesome, gorgeous, cool ex would never allow such a thing to happen anyway. Demelza's facial reaction (and a little something I added) speaks for us all:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97467\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-1020x572.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"359\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-1020x572.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-800x449.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-768x431.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-1920x1077.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-1180x662.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-960x538.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-240x135.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-375x210.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-middle-finger-520x292.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>For those keeping track, her extra-marital affair likelihood meter just went up from 96% to 97%.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Toe Fungus Incorporated, Jennifer Lawrence has an idea: she'll get married to a random librarian and they'll pretend Gross Goblin has nothing to do with the baby... for a price. So this was all about money? It would have been so much better if Jennifer Lawrence had been a revenge-obsessed mastermind, but she's just a horny blackmailer. FAIL. The writers trying to effectively utilize this character:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/Funny-Fail-Moments-034.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97468\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/Funny-Fail-Moments-034.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"321\" height=\"354\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>On the other side of town, Demelza continues to beg Ross to stand up for Drake and all the poor people being trampled by the Malfoys of the world. For once, Ross doesn't feel like it. \"You would have me pontificate and play the hero and make some grand, dramatic gesture. I am not that man, Demelza! I have never been that man!\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Hold on a minute, brb. *rewatches the past three seasons of this show* Okay, I'm back. Um, Ross, you are very much the kind of man who loves pontificating and playing the hero. Just admit that you're feeling lazy today.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That night, Malfoy's Slytherin crony burns down Drake's barn. I distinctly hear a horse in distress, but am choosing to ignore the possibility that this dude just murdered Drake's horse for no good reason.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/wpid-wp-1435808733932.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97470\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/wpid-wp-1435808733932.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"420\" height=\"398\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>I get enough violence against horses from \u003cem>Game of Thrones\u003c/em>, thank you very much.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Because he's a decent person who hasn't yet learned that you can't convince people to stop being pure evil by politely asking, Drake strolls over to Elizabeth's to humbly request that her husband's thugs maybe stop trying to kill him and his livelihood. While Elizabeth is in the middle of saying that Malfoy would never do such a thing, Malfoy storms in, threatens to have Drake physically thrown out, and flat-out admits to terrorizing Cornwall's Nicest Person of the Year. Somehow, Elizabeth is surprised by this.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/use-your-brain-dance-moms-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97471\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/use-your-brain-dance-moms-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Outside, Drake continues to mind his business in the nicest way possible, when three Slytherin cronies accuse him of trespassing. They proceed to punch, stomp, and almost kick him to death, before dumping his body into a muddy ditch.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/help-somebody-simba.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97473\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/help-somebody-simba.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"280\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back on Bunions and Corns Drive, Jennifer Lawrence is still blackmailing Gross Goblin by threatening to write the Bishop about the baby and the mole shaped like a pig's tail on Gross Goblin's butt.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/too-much-information-tmi-chandler-friends-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97474\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/too-much-information-tmi-chandler-friends-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"285\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Morwenna overhears everything and feels bummed that she's not only married to trash, but related to it too.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/i-hate-everyone-pissed-girl-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97475\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/i-hate-everyone-pissed-girl-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back in the muddy ditch, Demelza and Sam find Drake and rush him home. Doc is like, \u003cem>Woah, you almost died... again! \u003c/em>Drake is too nice to say what he's thinking:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/no-shit-sherlock-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97476\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/no-shit-sherlock-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"233\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Drake is also too nice to tell anyone the identities of his almost-murderers. Ughhhh, sometimes when they go low, we don't have to go high, Michelle!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sam agrees with me. He takes a break from memorizing the Bible to run to the bar and incite a riot with the help of Bone Maraca Pirate.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/amen-raven-gif-drag-race.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97477\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/amen-raven-gif-drag-race.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"330\" height=\"248\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over at Malfoy Manor, Elizabeth finally gets pissed about something Malfoy has done and threatens to end their marriage (this probably just means staying married but not talking to each other that much because it's the 18th century). Being mean to Drake is akin to the high crime of kicking all the puppies. I'm glad Elizabeth can see that.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/even-a-broken-clock-is-right-twice-a-day-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97478\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/even-a-broken-clock-is-right-twice-a-day-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"200\" height=\"200\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>At Drake's bedside, Mrs. Pigpen grabs Demelza to tell her she has a visitor. When Demelza resists, Mrs. Pigpen sermonizes: \"How oft do the men take a fancy to a woman, and sometimes act on it?\" Preach that Gospel!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-2.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-36622\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/raw-2.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"260\" height=\"194\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza declares that, since Ross gave up all thoughts of Elizabeth, she should do the same with Prison Bestie. Mrs. Pigpen, #TeamPrisonBestie co-captain (I'm the other one), replies: \"Did he? You sure?\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_n19y4rrbwl1rrx588o1_500.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-38275\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/09/tumblr_n19y4rrbwl1rrx588o1_500.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"464\" height=\"328\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back at Ingrown Toe Nail Lane, Gross Goblin barges into Morwenna's room and demands sex. But he quickly learns that the Old Morwenna can't come to the phone right now. Why? 'Cause she's dead! The new Morwenna has had it. She tells him to get the F out of her room and never come back. When he unbuckles his belt and starts his rape routine, she threatens to murder their child.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/meryl-j-lo-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-96487\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/10/meryl-j-lo-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"245\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Someone else who's had it (for the zillionth time): Demelza. She finds Ross and tells him she knows about how he kissed Elizabeth all over her head. \"I'm weary of it. Secret kisses, secret smiles. How many more secrets must there be between us? Keep them, Ross. Keep them all. And I will keep mine.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/02/giphy-3.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-20666\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/02/giphy-3.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"245\" height=\"230\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza walks home to find Prison Bestie waiting for her. She's like, \u003cem>Hey, I got your little poem. Let's do this.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/get-it-girl-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97482\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/get-it-girl-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They walk to the beach, where Prison Bestie reveals that, in six months, he will be completely blind. Demelza holds his hand (and the meter ticks up a notch from 97% to 98%).\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Elsewhere, Ross gets a letter informing him that there is a threat in town. He runs off with his little neighborhood watch.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/no-one-cares-hunter-E2-99-A5-35130856-391-331.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-48723\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/11/no-one-cares-hunter-E2-99-A5-35130856-391-331.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"391\" height=\"331\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp> \u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Back to the good stuff: Prison Bestie explains to Demelza that yes, he technically owes his life to Ross and it would be pretty messed up to sex up his wife, but having an affair would be so cool and poetic! Demelza isn't so sure... until he puts his hand on her collarbone. 99%!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97484\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-1020x572.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"359\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-1020x572.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-160x90.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-800x449.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-768x431.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-1920x1077.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-1180x662.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-960x539.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-240x135.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-375x210.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/demelza-poldark-heart-eyes-520x292.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Then he says, \"Shall we grant ourselves to each other, so I may go into the darkness knowing that I once tasted heaven?\" *throws adultery meter out* Not even a real French invasion could stop this seduction at this point.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Demelza takes his hand and leads him into the grass!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-7.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97485\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-7.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"284\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">They lie down!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-2-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97489\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-2-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">They kiss!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-3-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97488 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-3-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">He puts his hand on her knee!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97490\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">She guides it up her skirt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-4-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97487 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-4-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: center\">They get to it.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-6-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97486\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/kelly-rowland-6-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>In more snooze-worthy news, Ross and his little militia are awaiting the supposed threat. It turns out to just be Sam and Bone Maraca Pirate's riot. They want to raid Malfoy's grain storage to feed the starving. Despite the fact that this kind of Robin Hood-ing is very much Ross' brand, he threatens to shoot all of his poor friends and vows to defend the interests of the ruling class.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-confused-2-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97494 size-full\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-confused-2-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Sam is like, \u003cem>Bro, WTF! You love poor people! Let us eat.\u003c/em> Ross warns that they have until the count of 10 to leave.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-confused-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97491\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-confused-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Bone Maraca defiantly says, \"Or what?\" Ross' militia load and point their rifles.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-pained-reaction-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97492\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-pained-reaction-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross barks that they leave him no choice. Bone Maraca Pirate starts counting for him because he's a bad ass.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-ears-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97493\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-ears-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"277\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>When Bone Maraca Pirate gets to 10, Ross has a flashback of the guillotine and pictures all his friends getting shot, so he announces that he still cares about poor people and will run for Parliament at some point to advocate for their right not to starve to death. That's cute and all, but these people are starving \u003cem>right now,\u003c/em> and you just randomly pulled a bunch of guns on them. We're supposed to just forgive and forget that?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-huh-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97497\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-huh-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"290\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Apparently so. Bone Maraca Pirate and the other rioters react like this:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-okay-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97498\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/britney-okay-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"360\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Sidenote:\u003c/strong> Et tu, Doc? You still have firing squad PTSD and now you've joined one? I thought you were better than this. Consider your Horace the Pug petting privileges REVOKED!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97502\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-1020x570.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"358\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-1020x570.jpg 1020w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-160x89.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-800x447.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-768x429.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-1920x1073.jpg 1920w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-1180x659.jpg 1180w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-960x536.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-240x134.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-375x210.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cancelled-poldark-520x291.jpg 520w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Across town, Elizabeth wins an Oscar for Best Actress in a Loveless Marriage by putting on a big show of leaving Malfoy unless he swears on a Bible that he'll never bring up Valentine obviously being her ex's baby. Malfoy sobs and does as she asks. It's pretty awesome to see the twerp cry, but, in this situation, I'm #TeamNobody.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/i-hate-both-of-you-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97503\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/i-hate-both-of-you-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"243\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Upon returning from almost killing a bunch of his friends, Ross can't find Demelza anywhere. Mrs. Pigpen feels really bad for drunkenly stirring the pot so hard earlier, and tells him Demelza went off with \"a visitor\" and might not come back.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/dorinda-ashamed-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97504\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/dorinda-ashamed-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"232\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>While desperately looking for Demelza, Ross instead finds Malfoy, who doesn't waste a moment gloating about how loyal his wife and how promising his government career are. All together now:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/06/giphy.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-27656\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2016/06/giphy.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"450\" height=\"254\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Over on Foot-in-Mouth Avenue, Morwenna hears a knock at the door and opens it to find a bouquet of flowers. She walks outside and says, \"Wherever you are, know that I love you.\" A beat-up Drake, hiding behind the front gate, breaks down. Morwenna does too. I'm not crying, you are!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cry-sob-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97505\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/cry-sob-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That night, Ross lies in bed alone, thinking about what a crappy husband he's been and how embarrassing it's going to be when Demelza drags him on her new single:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark.jpg\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter wp-image-97510\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-800x812.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"609\" srcset=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-800x812.jpg 800w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-160x162.jpg 160w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-768x779.jpg 768w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-960x974.jpg 960w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-240x244.jpg 240w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-375x381.jpg 375w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-520x528.jpg 520w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-32x32.jpg 32w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-50x50.jpg 50w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-64x64.jpg 64w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark-96x96.jpg 96w, https://ww2.kqed.org/app/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/look-what-you-made-me-do-demelza-poldark.jpg 1009w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Ross' thoughts are interrupted by a returning Demelza.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"I thought you might not return.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"I thought so too. And here I am.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They lie beside each other, both sad and regretful.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Ross:\u003c/strong> \"Demelza, may I ask...\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>Demelza:\u003c/strong> \"No, Ross. Ask me nothing.\"\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>They look at each other through their shared pain. Ross holds her into the night and whatever comes next.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/bethenny-cry.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-97507\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/bethenny-cry.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"480\" height=\"260\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/bethenny-cry-bottle-gif.gif\">\u003cimg class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-97506\" src=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/11/bethenny-cry-bottle-gif.gif\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"278\">\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>End scene!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>Since the season is over, it’s only right to reward characters who’ve impressed and diss the ones that haven’t, so here goes:\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>PIECE OF COAL: Gross Goblin, Malfoy, Slytherin Crony, Jennifer Lawrence. \u003c/strong>I hope their birthday parties get cancelled and they all die. 🙂\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cstrong>HONORABLE MENTION: Sam. \u003c/strong>Congrats to him for finally taking a break from judging people for kissing to do something productive.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>BRONZE:\u003c/strong> \u003cstrong>Bone Maraca Pirate. \u003c/strong>Now that Agatha's gone, B.M.P. has taken over the role of the delightful smack-talking alcoholic elder. I'm into it.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>SILVER: Morwenna and Drake. \u003c/strong>Giving them a fake medal is the least I can do for the year they've had. Idea for next season: They stop taking crap from people and go on a \u003cem>Kill Bill\u003c/em>-style revenge rampage.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp class=\"m_-8500230470282184039p1\">\u003cstrong>GOLD: \u003c/strong>\u003cspan class=\"m_-8500230470282184039s1\">\u003cstrong>Demelza. \u003c/strong>She finally had enough of being an afterthought / doormat and did something purely for herself for once. I'm sure some of the fandom will judge her harsher than they judged Ross when he cheated (#sexism #patriarchy), but I stand with Demelza.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>That’s all, folks! It’s been a pleasure watching along with you this season. Until next year! If you miss my thoughts on \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> or pop culture in general, follow me on Twitter \u003ca href=\"https://twitter.com/xcusemybeauty\">@xcusemybeauty\u003c/a>, listen to my podcast \u003ca href=\"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-cooler/id1041117499?mt=2\">\u003cem>The Cooler\u003c/em>\u003c/a>, or relive all my \u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/tag/recaps/\">other \u003cem>Poldark\u003c/em> recaps\u003c/a> below!\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>And, before you go, vote in this poll to determine whether I recap \u003cem>Victoria\u003c/em> Season 2 or not:\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[polldaddy poll=9877696]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>\u003cstrong>More recaps:\u003c/strong>\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/13/poldark-season-3-episode-7-recap-i-wanna-sex-you-up/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 7 Recap: I Wanna Sex You Up\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/11/05/poldark-season-3-episode-6-recap-you-give-love-a-bad-name/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 6 Recap: You Give Love A Bad Name\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/29/poldark-season-3-episode-5-recap-the-one-that-got-away/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 5 Recap: The One That Got Away\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/24/poldark-season-3-episode-4-recap-break-free/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 4 Recap: Break Free\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/15/poldark-season-3-episode-3-recap-kiss-the-girl/\">'Poldark' Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: Kiss the Girl\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/08/poldark-season-3-episode-2-recap-voulez-vous-coucher-avec-moi/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Episode 2 Recap: Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi?\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2017/10/02/poldark-season-3-premiere-recap-same-old-mistakes/\">‘Poldark’ Season 3 Premiere Recap: Same Old Mistakes\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/27/poldark-season-2-finale-recap-burn-baby-burn/\">‘Poldark’ Season 2 Finale Recap: Burn Baby Burn\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/20/poldark-season-2-episode-8-recap-man-i-feel-like-a-woman/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 8 Recap: Man! I Feel Like A Woman!\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/13/poldark-season-2-episode-7-recap-im-in-love-with-a-monster/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 7 Recap: I'm In Love With A Monster\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/11/06/poldark-season-2-episode-6-recap-informer/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 6 Recap: Informer\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/30/poldark-season-2-episode-5-recap-before-he-cheats/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: Before He Cheats\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp style=\"text-align: left\">\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/24/poldark-season-2-episode-4-recap-sink-or-swim/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 4 Recap: Sink or Swim\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/17/poldark-season-2-episode-3-recap-miss-independent/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 3 Recap: Miss Independent\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/10/02/poldark-season-2-episode-2-recap-you-dont-bring-me-flowers/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 2 Recap: You Don't Bring Me Flowers\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/27/poldark-season-2-premiere-recap-court-and-spark/\">'Poldark' Season 2, Episode 1 Recap: Court and Spark\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/23/poldark-season-1-episode-4-recap-send-my-love-to-your-new-lover/\"> 'Poldark' Season 1, Episode 4 Recap: Send My Love to Your New Lover\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/21/poldark-season-1-episode-3-recap-oops-there-goes-my-shirt/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 3 Recap: Oops, There Goes My Shirt\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://ww2.kqed.org/pop/2016/09/20/poldark-season-1-episode-2-recap-guns-and-ships-bang-bang/\">‘Poldark’ Season 1, Episode 2 Recap: Bang Bang\u003c/a>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>",
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"info": "Presented by KQED, KCRW and KPCC, and created and hosted by award-winning journalist Farai Chideya, Our Body Politic is unapologetically centered on reporting on not just how women of color experience the major political events of today, but how they’re impacting those very issues.",
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"radiolab": {
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"info": "A two-time Peabody Award-winner, Radiolab is an investigation told through sounds and stories, and centered around one big idea. In the Radiolab world, information sounds like music and science and culture collide. Hosted by Jad Abumrad and Robert Krulwich, the show is designed for listeners who demand skepticism, but appreciate wonder. WNYC Studios is the producer of other leading podcasts including Freakonomics Radio, Death, Sex & Money, On the Media and many more.",
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"info": "Created by The Center for Investigative Reporting and PRX, Reveal is public radios first one-hour weekly radio show and podcast dedicated to investigative reporting. Credible, fact based and without a partisan agenda, Reveal combines the power and artistry of driveway moment storytelling with data-rich reporting on critically important issues. The result is stories that inform and inspire, arming our listeners with information to right injustices, hold the powerful accountable and improve lives.Reveal is hosted by Al Letson and showcases the award-winning work of CIR and newsrooms large and small across the nation. In a radio and podcast market crowded with choices, Reveal focuses on important and often surprising stories that illuminate the world for our listeners.",
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"candidateName": "Janevette Cole",
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"location": "Alameda",
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"timeUpdated": "7:02 PM",
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"timeUpdated": "7:02 PM",
"dateUpdated": "April 1, 2024",
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"candidates": [
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"timeUpdated": "7:02 PM",
"dateUpdated": "April 1, 2024",
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"candidates": [
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"timeUpdated": "7:02 PM",
"dateUpdated": "April 1, 2024",
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"candidates": [
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"candidateParty": "",
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"candidateIncumbent": false,
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"timeUpdated": "7:02 PM",
"dateUpdated": "April 1, 2024",
"totalVotes": 5898,
"candidates": [
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"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 4651
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"candidateIncumbent": false,
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"location": "Alameda",
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"timeUpdated": "7:02 PM",
"dateUpdated": "April 1, 2024",
"totalVotes": 33331,
"candidates": [
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"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 3913
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"location": "Alameda",
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"timeUpdated": "7:02 PM",
"dateUpdated": "April 1, 2024",
"totalVotes": 21929,
"candidates": [
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"voteCount": 14151
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"candidateParty": "",
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"location": "Alameda",
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"timeUpdated": "7:02 PM",
"dateUpdated": "April 1, 2024",
"totalVotes": 12338,
"candidates": [
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"raceName": "Board of Supervisors, District 2",
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"raceType": "yesNo",
"timeUpdated": "6:45 PM",
"dateUpdated": "March 28, 2024",
"totalVotes": 45776,
"candidates": [
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"candidateName": "Candace Andersen",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
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"type": "localRace",
"location": "Contra Costa",
"raceName": "Board of Supervisors, District 3",
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"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "6:45 PM",
"dateUpdated": "March 28, 2024",
"totalVotes": 25120,
"candidates": [
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"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
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"type": "localRace",
"location": "Contra Costa",
"raceName": "Board of Supervisors, District 5",
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"raceReadTheStory": "https://www.kqed.org/elections/results/contracosta/supervisor-5th-district",
"raceType": "top2",
"timeUpdated": "6:45 PM",
"dateUpdated": "March 28, 2024",
"totalVotes": 37045,
"candidates": [
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"candidateName": "Mike Barbanica",
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"candidateParty": "",
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{
"candidateName": "Jelani Killings",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 5683
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{
"candidateName": "Shanelle Scales-Preston",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 12993
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{
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{
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{
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{
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{
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{
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{
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"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
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{
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},
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"location": "Alameda",
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"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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{
"candidateName": "Ramnath “Ram” Shanbhogue",
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]
},
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"id": "AlamedaEmeryUnifiedSchoolDistrictGoverningBoard",
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"location": "Alameda",
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"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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{
"candidateName": "Brian Donahue",
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"candidateParty": "",
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{
"candidateName": "Walter Pizarro",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
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{
"candidateName": "John T. Van Geffen",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
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}
]
},
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"location": "Alameda",
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"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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{
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"candidateParty": "",
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{
"candidateName": "Rinu Nair",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
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]
},
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"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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{
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"candidateParty": "",
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{
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"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
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{
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"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
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{
"candidateName": "Simon “Peter” Gutierrez Bufete",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
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{
"candidateName": "Calyn Kelley",
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{
"candidateName": "Tom Wong",
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]
},
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"location": "Alameda",
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"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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{
"candidateName": "Surekha Shekar",
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]
},
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"raceType": "top2",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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},
{
"candidateName": "Amanda Pepper",
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{
"candidateName": "Jean Paulsen",
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"candidateParty": "",
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},
{
"candidateName": "Tara Boyce",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
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},
{
"candidateName": "Christiaan Vandenheuvel",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
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},
{
"candidateName": "Deena Kaplanis",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
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]
},
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"location": "Alameda",
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"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. ",
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"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Midji Kuo-Rovetta",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
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},
{
"candidateName": "Patricio R. Urbi",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
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},
{
"candidateName": "Jatinder (JP) K. Sahi",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
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]
},
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"id": "AlamedaNewHavenUnifiedSchoolDistrictGoverningBoardArea2",
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"location": "Alameda",
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"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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"candidates": [
{
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{
"candidateName": "Michelle Parnala",
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]
},
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"location": "Alameda",
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"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. ",
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"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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"candidates": [
{
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"candidateParty": "",
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},
{
"candidateName": "Michael Gonzales",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
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]
},
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"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top3",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 32709,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Aiden Hill",
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"candidateParty": "",
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},
{
"candidateName": "Vikas Minglani",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
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},
{
"candidateName": "Gabriel Anguiano Jr.",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 7424
},
{
"candidateName": "Austin Block",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 7607
},
{
"candidateName": "Phuong Nguyen",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 6237
}
]
},
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"id": "AlamedaPleasantonUnifiedSchoolDistrictGoverningBoardArea3",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Alameda",
"raceName": "Pleasanton Unified School District Governing Board, Area 3",
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"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 7090,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Donalyn Harris",
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"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 3135
},
{
"candidateName": "Kelly Mokashi",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 3955
}
]
},
"AlamedaPleasantonUnifiedSchoolDistrictGoverningBoardArea4": {
"id": "AlamedaPleasantonUnifiedSchoolDistrictGoverningBoardArea4",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Alameda",
"raceName": "Pleasanton Unified School District Governing Board, Area 4",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. ",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 6942,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Jen Flynn",
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"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 3306
},
{
"candidateName": "Charlie Jones",
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"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 3636
}
]
},
"AlamedaSanLorenzoUnifiedSchoolDistrictGoverningBoardArea5": {
"id": "AlamedaSanLorenzoUnifiedSchoolDistrictGoverningBoardArea5",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Alameda",
"raceName": "San Lorenzo Unified School District Governing Board, Area 5",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. ",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 3695,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Alicia Gonzalez",
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"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 2360
},
{
"candidateName": "Penny Peck",
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"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1335
}
]
},
"AlamedaSunolGlenUnifiedSchoolDistrictGoverningBoard": {
"id": "AlamedaSunolGlenUnifiedSchoolDistrictGoverningBoard",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Alameda",
"raceName": "Sunol Glen Unified School District Governing Board",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. ",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 633,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Ryan Jergensen",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 264
},
{
"candidateName": "Erin Choin",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 369
}
]
},
"AlamedaBoardofSupervisorsDistrict5": {
"id": "AlamedaBoardofSupervisorsDistrict5",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Alameda",
"raceName": "Board of Supervisors, District 5",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. ",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 141857,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "John J. Bauters",
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"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 70721
},
{
"candidateName": "Nikki Fortunato Bas",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 71136
}
]
},
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"id": "AlamedaAlamedaCityCouncil",
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"location": "Alameda",
"raceName": "Alameda City Council",
"raceDescription": "Top two candidates win seat. ",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top2",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 61690,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Trish Herrera Spencer",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 12071
},
{
"candidateName": "Thushan Amarasiriwardena",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 13041
},
{
"candidateName": "Michele Pryor",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 16381
},
{
"candidateName": "Greg Boller",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 14193
},
{
"candidateName": "Steve Slauson",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 6004
}
]
},
"AlamedaAlamedaAuditor": {
"id": "AlamedaAlamedaAuditor",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Alameda",
"raceName": "Alameda Auditor",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. ",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 27745,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Kevin R. Kearney",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 27745
}
]
},
"AlamedaAlamedaTreasurer": {
"id": "AlamedaAlamedaTreasurer",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Alameda",
"raceName": "Alameda Treasurer",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. ",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 27488,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Kevin Kennedy",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 27488
}
]
},
"AlamedaBerkeleyRentStabilizationBoardCommissioner": {
"id": "AlamedaBerkeleyRentStabilizationBoardCommissioner",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Alameda",
"raceName": "Berkeley Rent Stabilization Board Commissioner",
"raceDescription": "Top four candidates win seat. ",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top4",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 138141,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Alfred Twu",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 22919
},
{
"candidateName": "Carole Marasovic",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 19543
},
{
"candidateName": "Xavier Johnson",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 26950
},
{
"candidateName": "Avery Arbaugh",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 19802
},
{
"candidateName": "Andy Kelley",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 23354
},
{
"candidateName": "Dominique Walker",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
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}
]
},
"AlamedaBerkeleySchoolDirector": {
"id": "AlamedaBerkeleySchoolDirector",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Alameda",
"raceName": "Berkeley School Director",
"raceDescription": "Top two candidates win seat. ",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top2",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 84728,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Norma J.F. Harrison",
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"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 3116
},
{
"candidateName": "Jen Corn",
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"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 30818
},
{
"candidateName": "Laura Babitt",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
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},
{
"candidateName": "Ana Vasudeo",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 25717
},
{
"candidateName": "Adbur Sikder",
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"candidateParty": "",
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}
]
},
"AlamedaDublinMayor": {
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"location": "Alameda",
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"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. ",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 25487,
"candidates": [
{
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"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 8268
},
{
"candidateName": "Sherry Hu",
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"candidateParty": "",
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},
{
"candidateName": "Jean Josey",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 7130
},
{
"candidateName": "Shawn Costello",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 825
}
]
},
"AlamedaDublinCityCouncilArea1": {
"id": "AlamedaDublinCityCouncilArea1",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Alameda",
"raceName": "Dublin City Council, Area 1",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. ",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 6132,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Michael McCorriston",
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"candidateParty": "",
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}
]
},
"AlamedaDublinCityCouncilArea3": {
"id": "AlamedaDublinCityCouncilArea3",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Alameda",
"raceName": "Dublin City Council, Area 3",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. ",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 4744,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Razi Hasni",
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"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 2304
},
{
"candidateName": "John Morada",
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"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 2440
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]
},
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"id": "AlamedaEmeryvilleCityCouncil",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Alameda",
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"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top3",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 10915,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Calvin Dillahunty",
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"candidateParty": "",
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},
{
"candidateName": "Sam Gould",
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"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1314
},
{
"candidateName": "Mia Esperanza Brown",
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"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1822
},
{
"candidateName": "Sukhdeep Kaur",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 2261
},
{
"candidateName": "Courtney Welch",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 2554
},
{
"candidateName": "Matthew Solomon",
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"candidateParty": "",
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}
]
},
"AlamedaFremontMayor": {
"id": "AlamedaFremontMayor",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Alameda",
"raceName": "Fremont Mayor",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. ",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 77254,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Rohan Marfatia",
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"candidateParty": "",
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},
{
"candidateName": "Vinnie Bacon",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 25060
},
{
"candidateName": "Hiu Ng",
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"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 6897
},
{
"candidateName": "Raj Salwan",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 36373
}
]
},
"AlamedaFremontCityCouncilDistrict1": {
"id": "AlamedaFremontCityCouncilDistrict1",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Alameda",
"raceName": "Fremont City Council, District 1",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. ",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 11765,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Teresa Keng",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 7458
},
{
"candidateName": "Pravesh Kumar",
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"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1763
},
{
"candidateName": "Ranvir Sandhu",
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"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 2544
}
]
},
"AlamedaFremontCityCouncilDistrict5": {
"id": "AlamedaFremontCityCouncilDistrict5",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Alameda",
"raceName": "Fremont City Council, District 5",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. ",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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]
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"id": "AlamedaHaywardCityCouncil",
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"location": "Alameda",
"raceName": "Hayward City Council",
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"raceType": "top4",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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"candidateParty": "",
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{
"candidateName": "Daniel Goldstein",
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"candidateParty": "",
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{
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"candidateParty": "",
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{
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"candidateParty": "",
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{
"candidateName": "Ray Bonilla Jr.",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
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{
"candidateName": "Tom Ferreira",
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"candidateParty": "",
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{
"candidateName": "Francisco Zermeño",
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"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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"id": "AlamedaLivermoreCityCouncilDistrict3",
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"location": "Alameda",
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"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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{
"candidateName": "Steven Dunbar",
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{
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]
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"location": "Alameda",
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"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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{
"candidateName": "Thomas Soules",
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"id": "AlamedaNewarkMayor",
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"location": "Alameda",
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"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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{
"candidateName": "Jason Miguel",
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{
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]
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"id": "AlamedaNewarkCityCouncilFullTerm",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Alameda",
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"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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{
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{
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{
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{
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"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
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{
"candidateName": "Renu Malhotra",
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{
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]
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"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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"candidateParty": "",
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{
"candidateName": "James Green",
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{
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{
"candidateName": "N. Sunny Bostrom-Fleming",
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]
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"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
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{
"candidateName": "Max Roman",
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{
"candidateName": "Victoria Rosenbaum",
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{
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{
"candidateName": "Karla Brown",
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]
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"location": "Alameda",
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"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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{
"candidateName": "Valerie Arkin",
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]
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"id": "AlamedaPleasantonCityCouncilDistrict4",
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"location": "Alameda",
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"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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{
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{
"candidateName": "Matthew B. Gaidos",
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"location": "Alameda",
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"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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{
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{
"candidateName": "Marcus Bourlard",
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{
"candidateName": "Gary Singh",
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]
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"location": "Alameda",
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"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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{
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{
"candidateName": "Erin Robertson",
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{
"candidateName": "Lance Nishihira",
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]
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"location": "Alameda",
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"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Jesse Lee Gunn",
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{
"candidateName": "Shonda Goward",
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{
"candidateName": "A. Curtis Silva",
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]
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"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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{
"candidateName": "Raymond Ojeda",
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]
},
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"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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{
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{
"candidateName": "Joseph Grcar",
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"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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{
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{
"candidateName": "Dana Lang",
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]
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"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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{
"candidateName": "Joseph Grcar",
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{
"candidateName": "Daniel M. Akagi",
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{
"candidateName": "Kenneth Owen",
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{
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{
"candidateName": "Dave Sadoff",
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{
"candidateName": "Rich Halket",
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"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
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{
"candidateName": "Jim Oddie",
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{
"candidateName": "Alex Spehr",
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]
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"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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{
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{
"candidateName": "Richard De Vera",
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]
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"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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{
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]
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"id": "AlamedaEastBayRegionalParkDistrictDirectorWard4",
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"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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{
"candidateName": "Luana España",
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{
"candidateName": "Tim McMahon",
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"candidateName": "Susan Gonzales",
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]
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"id": "AlamedaEdenTownshipHealthcareDistrictDirectorArea4",
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"location": "Alameda",
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"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
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{
"candidateName": "Luis Reynoso",
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]
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"raceType": "top3",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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"candidates": [
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{
"candidateName": "Joseph Grcar",
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{
"candidateName": "Louis Manuel Andrade",
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{
"candidateName": "Luis Reynoso",
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{
"candidateName": "Peter Rosen",
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{
"candidateName": "Kenneth Owen",
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"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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"raceName": "Measure HH",
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"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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"raceName": "Measure II",
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"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 25675,
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"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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"raceName": "Measure NN",
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"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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"AlamedaMeasureOO": {
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"location": "Alameda",
"raceName": "Measure OO",
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"raceReadTheStory": "",
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"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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"location": "Alameda",
"raceName": "Measure PP",
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"raceReadTheStory": "",
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"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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"location": "Alameda",
"raceName": "Measure QQ",
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"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "yesNo",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 24778,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Yes",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 20223
},
{
"candidateName": "No",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 4555
}
]
},
"AlamedaAlbanyCityCouncil": {
"id": "AlamedaAlbanyCityCouncil",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Alameda",
"raceName": "Albany City Council",
"raceDescription": "Top three candidates win seat. This result only reflects voters’ first-choice candidate. If votes are redistributed in an instant runoff, they are not reflected in this result.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top3",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 7963,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Jennifer Hansen-Romero",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 2070
},
{
"candidateName": "Peggy (Margaret) McQuaid",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 2150
},
{
"candidateName": "Jeremiah Garrett-Pinguelo",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 392
},
{
"candidateName": "Aaron Tiedemann",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1488
},
{
"candidateName": "Preston Jordan",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1863
}
]
},
"AlamedaAlbanyCityCouncilFinalRound": {
"id": "AlamedaAlbanyCityCouncilFinalRound",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Alameda",
"raceName": "Albany City Council Final Round",
"raceDescription": "Top three candidates win seat. This result reflects redistributed votes. The results of the instant runoff will change as more first-choice votes are counted.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top3",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 7859.9238,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Jennifer Hansen-Romero",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 2001
},
{
"candidateName": "Peggy (Margaret) McQuaid",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 2001
},
{
"candidateName": "Jeremiah Garrett-Pinguelo (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
},
{
"candidateName": "Aaron Tiedemann",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1821.944
},
{
"candidateName": "Preston Jordan ",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 2035.9798
}
]
},
"AlamedaAlbanyBoardofEducation": {
"id": "AlamedaAlbanyBoardofEducation",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Alameda",
"raceName": "Albany Board of Education",
"raceDescription": "Top two candidates win seat. This result only reflects voters’ first-choice candidate. If votes are redistributed in an instant runoff, they are not reflected in this result.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top2",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 7091,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Jolene Gazmen",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1631
},
{
"candidateName": "Dayna Inkeles",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1970
},
{
"candidateName": "Brian L. Doss",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 717
},
{
"candidateName": "Veronica Davidson",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 2773
}
]
},
"AlamedaAlbanyBoardofEducationFinalRound": {
"id": "AlamedaAlbanyBoardofEducationFinalRound",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Alameda",
"raceName": "Albany Board of Education Final Round",
"raceDescription": "Top two candidates win seat. This result reflects redistributed votes. The results of the instant runoff will change as more first-choice votes are counted.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top2",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 6944.475,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Jolene Gazmen",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1995.305
},
{
"candidateName": "Dayna Inkeles",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 2568.17
},
{
"candidateName": "Brian L. Doss (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
},
{
"candidateName": "Veronica Davidson",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 2381
}
]
},
"AlamedaBerkeleyMayor": {
"id": "AlamedaBerkeleyMayor",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Alameda",
"raceName": "Berkeley Mayor",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. This result only reflects voters’ first-choice candidate. If votes are redistributed in an instant runoff, they are not reflected in this result.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 52448,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Adena Ishii",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 19960
},
{
"candidateName": "Sophie Hahn",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 19623
},
{
"candidateName": "Kate Harrison",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 11841
},
{
"candidateName": "Naomi D. Pete",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 498
},
{
"candidateName": "Logan Bowie",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 526
}
]
},
"AlamedaBerkeleyMayorFinalRound": {
"id": "AlamedaBerkeleyMayorFinalRound",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Alameda",
"raceName": "Berkeley Mayor Final Round",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. This result reflects redistributed votes. The results of the instant runoff will change as more first-choice votes are counted.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 49223,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Adena Ishii",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 25131
},
{
"candidateName": "Sophie Hahn",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 24092
},
{
"candidateName": "Kate Harrison (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
},
{
"candidateName": "Naomi D. Pete (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
},
{
"candidateName": "Logan Bowie (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
}
]
},
"AlamedaBerkeleyCityCouncilDistrict2": {
"id": "AlamedaBerkeleyCityCouncilDistrict2",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Alameda",
"raceName": "Berkeley City Council, District 2",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 6865,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Terry Taplin",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 4782
},
{
"candidateName": "Jenny Guarino",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 2083
}
]
},
"AlamedaBerkeleyCityCouncilDistrict3": {
"id": "AlamedaBerkeleyCityCouncilDistrict3",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Alameda",
"raceName": "Berkeley City Council, District 3",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. This result only reflects voters’ first-choice candidate. If votes are redistributed in an instant runoff, they are not reflected in this result.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 6342,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Deborah Matthews",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1526
},
{
"candidateName": "John “Chip” Moore",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1458
},
{
"candidateName": "Ben Bartlett",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 3358
}
]
},
"AlamedaBerkeleyCityCouncilDistrict3FinalRound": {
"id": "AlamedaBerkeleyCityCouncilDistrict3FinalRound",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Alameda",
"raceName": "Berkeley City Council, District 3 Final Round",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. This result reflects redistributed votes. The results of the instant runoff will change as more first-choice votes are counted.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 6095,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Deborah Matthews",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1833
},
{
"candidateName": "John “Chip” Moore (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
},
{
"candidateName": "Ben Bartlett",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 4262
}
]
},
"AlamedaBerkeleyCityCouncilDistrict5": {
"id": "AlamedaBerkeleyCityCouncilDistrict5",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Alameda",
"raceName": "Berkeley City Council, District 5",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. This result only reflects voters’ first-choice candidate. If votes are redistributed in an instant runoff, they are not reflected in this result.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 8579,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Nilang Gor",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1063
},
{
"candidateName": "Todd Andrew",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1719
},
{
"candidateName": "Shoshana O’Keefe",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 5797
}
]
},
"AlamedaBerkeleyCityCouncilDistrict5FinalRound": {
"id": "AlamedaBerkeleyCityCouncilDistrict5FinalRound",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Alameda",
"raceName": "Berkeley City Council, District 5 Final Round",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. This result reflects redistributed votes. The results of the instant runoff will change as more first-choice votes are counted.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 8256,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Nilang Gor (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
},
{
"candidateName": "Todd Andrew",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1993
},
{
"candidateName": "Shoshana O’Keefe",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 6263
}
]
},
"AlamedaBerkeleyCityCouncilDistrict6": {
"id": "AlamedaBerkeleyCityCouncilDistrict6",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Alameda",
"raceName": "Berkeley City Council, District 6",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 7326,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Brent Blackaby",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 4403
},
{
"candidateName": "Andy Katz",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 2923
}
]
},
"AlamedaOaklandCityCouncilAtLarge": {
"id": "AlamedaOaklandCityCouncilAtLarge",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Alameda",
"raceName": "Oakland City Council, At Large",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. This result only reflects voters’ first-choice candidate. If votes are redistributed in an instant runoff, they are not reflected in this result.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 143482,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Cristina “Tina” Tostado",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 5400
},
{
"candidateName": "Charlene Wang",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 30461
},
{
"candidateName": "Mindy Ruth Pechenuk",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 4830
},
{
"candidateName": "Rowena Brown",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 41842
},
{
"candidateName": "Nancy Sidebotham",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 2254
},
{
"candidateName": "LeRonne L. Armstrong",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 39223
},
{
"candidateName": "Fabian Robinson",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 2790
},
{
"candidateName": "Shawn Danino",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 9687
},
{
"candidateName": "Kanitha Matoury",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 5623
},
{
"candidateName": "Selika Thomas",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1372
}
]
},
"AlamedaOaklandCityCouncilAtLargeFinalRound": {
"id": "AlamedaOaklandCityCouncilAtLargeFinalRound",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Alameda",
"raceName": "Oakland City Council, At Large Final Round",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. This result reflects redistributed votes. The results of the instant runoff will change as more first-choice votes are counted.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 126987,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Cristina “Tina” Tostado (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
},
{
"candidateName": "Charlene Wang (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
},
{
"candidateName": "Mindy Ruth Pechenuk (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
},
{
"candidateName": "Rowena Brown",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 72260
},
{
"candidateName": "Nancy Sidebotham (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
},
{
"candidateName": "LeRonne L. Armstrong",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 54727
},
{
"candidateName": "Fabian Robinson (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
},
{
"candidateName": "Shawn Danino (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
},
{
"candidateName": "Kanitha Matoury (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
},
{
"candidateName": "Selika Thomas (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
}
]
},
"AlamedaOaklandCityCouncilDistrict1": {
"id": "AlamedaOaklandCityCouncilDistrict1",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Alameda",
"raceName": "Oakland City Council, District 1 ",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. This result only reflects voters’ first-choice candidate. If votes are redistributed in an instant runoff, they are not reflected in this result.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 29595,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Edward C. Frank",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 2579
},
{
"candidateName": "Zac Unger",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 22628
},
{
"candidateName": "Len Raphael",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 4388
}
]
},
"AlamedaOaklandCityCouncilDistrict1FinalRound": {
"id": "AlamedaOaklandCityCouncilDistrict1FinalRound",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Alameda",
"raceName": "Oakland City Council, District 1 Final Round",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. This result reflects redistributed votes. The results of the instant runoff will change as more first-choice votes are counted.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 29234,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Edward C. Frank (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
},
{
"candidateName": "Zac Unger",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 24336
},
{
"candidateName": "Len Raphael",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 4898
}
]
},
"AlamedaOaklandCityCouncilDistrict3": {
"id": "AlamedaOaklandCityCouncilDistrict3",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Alameda",
"raceName": "Oakland City Council, District 3 ",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. This result only reflects voters’ first-choice candidate. If votes are redistributed in an instant runoff, they are not reflected in this result.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 20538,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Baba Afolabi",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1598
},
{
"candidateName": "Carroll Fife",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 9860
},
{
"candidateName": "Michelle D. Hailey",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1456
},
{
"candidateName": "Warren Mitchell Logan",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 6216
},
{
"candidateName": "Shan M. Hirsch",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 607
},
{
"candidateName": "Meron Semedar",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 801
}
]
},
"AlamedaOaklandCityCouncilDistrict3FinalRound": {
"id": "AlamedaOaklandCityCouncilDistrict3FinalRound",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Alameda",
"raceName": "Oakland City Council, District 3 Final Round",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. This result reflects redistributed votes. The results of the instant runoff will change as more first-choice votes are counted.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 19485,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Baba Afolabi (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
},
{
"candidateName": "Carroll Fife",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 11423
},
{
"candidateName": "Michelle D. Hailey (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
},
{
"candidateName": "Warren Mitchell Logan",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 8062
},
{
"candidateName": "Shan M. Hirsch (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
},
{
"candidateName": "Meron Semedar (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
}
]
},
"AlamedaOaklandCityCouncilDistrict5": {
"id": "AlamedaOaklandCityCouncilDistrict5",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Alameda",
"raceName": "Oakland City Council, District 5",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. This result only reflects voters’ first-choice candidate. If votes are redistributed in an instant runoff, they are not reflected in this result.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 12285,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Noel Gallo",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 6476
},
{
"candidateName": "Dominic Prado",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1928
},
{
"candidateName": "Erin Armstrong",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 3881
}
]
},
"AlamedaOaklandCityCouncilDistrict5FinalRound": {
"id": "AlamedaOaklandCityCouncilDistrict5FinalRound",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Alameda",
"raceName": "Oakland City Council, District 5 Final Round",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. This result reflects redistributed votes. The results of the instant runoff will change as more first-choice votes are counted.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 12044,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Noel Gallo",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 7114
},
{
"candidateName": "Dominic Prado (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
},
{
"candidateName": "Erin Armstrong",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 4930
}
]
},
"AlamedaOaklandCityCouncilDistrict7": {
"id": "AlamedaOaklandCityCouncilDistrict7",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Alameda",
"raceName": "Oakland City Council, District 7",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. This result only reflects voters’ first-choice candidate. If votes are redistributed in an instant runoff, they are not reflected in this result.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:43 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 13074,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Merika Goolsby",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 2061
},
{
"candidateName": "Ken Houston",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 4423
},
{
"candidateName": "Iris Merriouns",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 4127
},
{
"candidateName": "Marcie Hodge",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 2463
}
]
},
"AlamedaOaklandCityCouncilDistrict7FinalRound": {
"id": "AlamedaOaklandCityCouncilDistrict7FinalRound",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Alameda",
"raceName": "Oakland City Council, District 7 Final Round",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. This result reflects redistributed votes. The results of the instant runoff will change as more first-choice votes are counted.",
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{
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{
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{
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{
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{
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"timeUpdated": "7:34 PM",
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{
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{
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{
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"timeUpdated": "7:18 PM",
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{
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"timeUpdated": "7:18 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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{
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"timeUpdated": "7:18 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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{
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"location": "Marin",
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"timeUpdated": "7:18 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
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{
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{
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"type": "localRace",
"location": "Marin",
"raceName": "Measure I",
"raceDescription": "Fairfax. Rent stabilization. Passes with majority vote.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "yesNo",
"timeUpdated": "7:18 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 4731,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Yes",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 2990
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{
"candidateName": "No",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
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]
},
"MarinMeasureJ": {
"id": "MarinMeasureJ",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Marin",
"raceName": "Measure J",
"raceDescription": "Fairfax. Infrastructure bond. Passes with 2/3 vote.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "yesNo",
"timeUpdated": "7:18 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 4778,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Yes",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 2965
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{
"candidateName": "No",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1813
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]
},
"MarinMeasureK": {
"id": "MarinMeasureK",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Marin",
"raceName": "Measure K",
"raceDescription": "Larkspur. Rent increase limit. Passes with majority vote. ",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "yesNo",
"timeUpdated": "7:18 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 7136,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Yes",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 2708
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{
"candidateName": "No",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 4428
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]
},
"MarinMeasureL": {
"id": "MarinMeasureL",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Marin",
"raceName": "Measure L",
"raceDescription": "Mill Valley. Sales tax. Passes with majority vote.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "yesNo",
"timeUpdated": "7:18 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 8556,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Yes",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 6616
},
{
"candidateName": "No",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1940
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]
},
"MarinMeasureM": {
"id": "MarinMeasureM",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Marin",
"raceName": "Measure M",
"raceDescription": "Novato. Sales tax. Passes with majority vote.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "yesNo",
"timeUpdated": "7:18 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 26127,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Yes",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 15133
},
{
"candidateName": "No",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 10994
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]
},
"MarinMeasureN": {
"id": "MarinMeasureN",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Marin",
"raceName": "Measure N",
"raceDescription": "San Anselmo. Rent increase limit. Passes with majority vote.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "yesNo",
"timeUpdated": "7:18 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 7462,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Yes",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 2754
},
{
"candidateName": "No",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 4708
}
]
},
"MarinMeasureO": {
"id": "MarinMeasureO",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Marin",
"raceName": "Measure O",
"raceDescription": "San Anselmo. Tenant benefits. Passes with majority vote.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "yesNo",
"timeUpdated": "7:18 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 7553,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Yes",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 2555
},
{
"candidateName": "No",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 4998
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]
},
"MarinMeasureP": {
"id": "MarinMeasureP",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Marin",
"raceName": "Measure P",
"raceDescription": "San Rafael. Parcel tax. Passes with majority vote.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "yesNo",
"timeUpdated": "7:18 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 23772,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Yes",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 12367
},
{
"candidateName": "No",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 11405
}
]
},
"MarinMeasureQ": {
"id": "MarinMeasureQ",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Marin",
"raceName": "Measure Q",
"raceDescription": "Stinson Beach Fire Protection District. Spending limit. Passes with majority vote.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "yesNo",
"timeUpdated": "7:18 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 332,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Yes",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 309
},
{
"candidateName": "No",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 23
}
]
},
"MarinMeasureR": {
"id": "MarinMeasureR",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Marin",
"raceName": "Measure R",
"raceDescription": "Stinson Beach Fire Protection District. Parcel tax. Passes with 2/3 vote.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "yesNo",
"timeUpdated": "7:18 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 20, 2024",
"totalVotes": 335,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Yes",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 274
},
{
"candidateName": "No",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 61
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]
},
"NapaNapaCountyBoardofEducationTrusteeArea5": {
"id": "NapaNapaCountyBoardofEducationTrusteeArea5",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Napa",
"raceName": "Napa County Board of Education, Trustee Area 5",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. ",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "6:58 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
"totalVotes": 7478,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Rory Moran",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 2151
},
{
"candidateName": "Gerald Parrott \r",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 5327
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]
},
"NapaSolanoCountyBoardofEducationTrusteeArea2": {
"id": "NapaSolanoCountyBoardofEducationTrusteeArea2",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Napa",
"raceName": "Solano County Board of Education, Trustee Area 2",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. Includes votes from Napa and Solano counties.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "6:58 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
"totalVotes": 28746,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Bonnie Hamilton",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 10022
},
{
"candidateName": "Carol J. Kalamaras",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 5398
},
{
"candidateName": "Amy Sharp",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 13326
}
]
},
"NapaNapaValleyCollegeTrusteeArea6": {
"id": "NapaNapaValleyCollegeTrusteeArea6",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Napa",
"raceName": "Napa Valley College, Trustee Area 6",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. ",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "6:58 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
"totalVotes": 7988,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Ines De Luna",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 4822
},
{
"candidateName": "Scott Owens",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 3166
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]
},
"NapaNapaValleyUnifiedSchoolDistrictTrusteeArea2": {
"id": "NapaNapaValleyUnifiedSchoolDistrictTrusteeArea2",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Napa",
"raceName": "Napa Valley Unified School District, Trustee Area 2",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. ",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "6:58 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
"totalVotes": 6511,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Lisa W. Chu",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 4579
},
{
"candidateName": "Kevin “KDub” West",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1932
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]
},
"NapaNapaValleyUnifiedSchoolDistrictTrusteeArea4": {
"id": "NapaNapaValleyUnifiedSchoolDistrictTrusteeArea4",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Napa",
"raceName": "Napa Valley Unified School District, Trustee Area 4",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. ",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "6:58 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
"totalVotes": 5932,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Devin Jones",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 2075
},
{
"candidateName": "Eve Ryser",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 3857
}
]
},
"NapaNapaValleyUnifiedSchoolDistrictTrusteeArea5": {
"id": "NapaNapaValleyUnifiedSchoolDistrictTrusteeArea5",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Napa",
"raceName": "Napa Valley Unified School District, Trustee Area 5",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. ",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "6:58 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
"totalVotes": 5248,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "John Henry Martin",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 3080
},
{
"candidateName": "David T. Gracia",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 2168
}
]
},
"NapaNapaValleyUnifiedSchoolDistrictTrusteeArea7": {
"id": "NapaNapaValleyUnifiedSchoolDistrictTrusteeArea7",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Napa",
"raceName": "Napa Valley Unified School District, Trustee Area 7",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. ",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "6:58 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
"totalVotes": 7092,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Marie Dennett",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 3188
},
{
"candidateName": "Julianna Hart",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 3904
}
]
},
"NapaFairfieldSuisunUnifiedSchoolDistrictTrusteeArea3": {
"id": "NapaFairfieldSuisunUnifiedSchoolDistrictTrusteeArea3",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Napa",
"raceName": "Fairfield-Suisun Unified School District, Trustee Area 3",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. Includes votes from Napa and Solano Counties.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "6:58 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
"totalVotes": 7979,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Brigette Hunley",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 4144
},
{
"candidateName": "Judi Honeychurch",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 3835
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]
},
"NapaAmericanCanyonMayor": {
"id": "NapaAmericanCanyonMayor",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Napa",
"raceName": "American Canyon Mayor",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. ",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "6:58 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
"totalVotes": 8937,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "David Oro",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 4313
},
{
"candidateName": "Pierre Washington",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 4624
}
]
},
"NapaAmericanCanyonCityCouncil": {
"id": "NapaAmericanCanyonCityCouncil",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Napa",
"raceName": "American Canyon City Council",
"raceDescription": "Top two candidates win seat.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top2",
"timeUpdated": "6:58 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
"totalVotes": 13596,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Melissa Lamattina",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 4276
},
{
"candidateName": "Elmer Andrei Manaid",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 2782
},
{
"candidateName": "Davet Mohammed",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 3021
},
{
"candidateName": "Brando R. Cruz",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 3517
}
]
},
"NapaCalistogaMayor": {
"id": "NapaCalistogaMayor",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Napa",
"raceName": "Calistoga Mayor",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. ",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "6:58 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
"totalVotes": 1506,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Donald Williams",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1506
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]
},
"NapaCalistogaCityCouncil": {
"id": "NapaCalistogaCityCouncil",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Napa",
"raceName": "Calistoga City Council",
"raceDescription": "Top two candidates win seat.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top2",
"timeUpdated": "6:58 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
"totalVotes": 2668,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Lisa Gift",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 840
},
{
"candidateName": "Marion Villalba",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 744
},
{
"candidateName": "Irais Lopez-Ortega",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1084
}
]
},
"NapaNapaMayor": {
"id": "NapaNapaMayor",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Napa",
"raceName": "Napa Mayor",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. ",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "6:58 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
"totalVotes": 33124,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Tuesday D. Allison",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 6570
},
{
"candidateName": "Scott Sedgley",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 26554
}
]
},
"NapaNapaCityCouncilDistrict2": {
"id": "NapaNapaCityCouncilDistrict2",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Napa",
"raceName": "Napa City Council, District 2",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. ",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "6:58 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
"totalVotes": 7247,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Beth Painter",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 7247
}
]
},
"NapaNapaCityCouncilDistrict4": {
"id": "NapaNapaCityCouncilDistrict4",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Napa",
"raceName": "Napa City Council, District 4",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. ",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "6:58 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
"totalVotes": 5186,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Bernardo “Bernie” Narvaez",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 5186
}
]
},
"NapaStHelenaMayor": {
"id": "NapaStHelenaMayor",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Napa",
"raceName": "St Helena Mayor",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. ",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "6:58 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
"totalVotes": 2657,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Paul J. Dohring",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1832
},
{
"candidateName": "Billy Summers",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 825
}
]
},
"NapaStHelenaCityCouncil": {
"id": "NapaStHelenaCityCouncil",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Napa",
"raceName": "St Helena City Council",
"raceDescription": "Top two candidates win seat.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top2",
"timeUpdated": "6:58 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
"totalVotes": 4166,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Michelle Deasy",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1579
},
{
"candidateName": "Hector R. Marroquin",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1073
},
{
"candidateName": "Aaron Barak",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1514
}
]
},
"NapaYountvilleTownCouncil": {
"id": "NapaYountvilleTownCouncil",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Napa",
"raceName": "Yountville Town Council",
"raceDescription": "Top two candidates win seat.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top2",
"timeUpdated": "6:58 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
"totalVotes": 2111,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Joe Tagliaboschi",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 481
},
{
"candidateName": "Robert Moore",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 233
},
{
"candidateName": "Pam Reeves",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 650
},
{
"candidateName": "Eric E. Knight",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 747
}
]
},
"NapaMeasureBSchool": {
"id": "NapaMeasureBSchool",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Napa",
"raceName": "Napa Valley Unified School District, Measure B",
"raceDescription": "Napa Valley Unified School District. School bond. Passes with 55% vote.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "yesNo",
"timeUpdated": "6:58 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
"totalVotes": 42099,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Yes",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 23186
},
{
"candidateName": "No",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 18913
}
]
},
"NapaMeasureU": {
"id": "NapaMeasureU",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Napa",
"raceName": "Measure U",
"raceDescription": "Napa Valley Transportation Authority. Transporation sales tax. Passes with 2/3 vote.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "yesNo",
"timeUpdated": "6:58 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
"totalVotes": 60526,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Yes",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 44036
},
{
"candidateName": "No",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 16490
}
]
},
"NapaMeasureG": {
"id": "NapaMeasureG",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Napa",
"raceName": "Measure G",
"raceDescription": "Napa. Sales tax. Passes with majority vote.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "yesNo",
"timeUpdated": "6:58 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
"totalVotes": 34568,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Yes",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 19858
},
{
"candidateName": "No",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 14710
}
]
},
"NapaMeasureA1": {
"id": "NapaMeasureA1",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Napa",
"raceName": "Measure A1",
"raceDescription": "St. Helena. Establishing charter city. Passes with majority vote.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "yesNo",
"timeUpdated": "6:58 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
"totalVotes": 2713,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Yes",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1190
},
{
"candidateName": "No",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1523
}
]
},
"NapaMeasureA2": {
"id": "NapaMeasureA2",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Napa",
"raceName": "Measure A2",
"raceDescription": "St. Helena. Real property transfer tax. Passes with majority vote. ",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "yesNo",
"timeUpdated": "6:58 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
"totalVotes": 2735,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Yes",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1122
},
{
"candidateName": "No",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1613
}
]
},
"NapaMeasureBStHelena": {
"id": "NapaMeasureBStHelena",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Napa",
"raceName": "St. Helena, Measure B",
"raceDescription": "St. Helena. Winery and planned agritourism overlay. Passes with majority vote. ",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "yesNo",
"timeUpdated": "6:58 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
"totalVotes": 2758,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Yes",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1364
},
{
"candidateName": "No",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1394
}
]
},
"SFBoardofEducation": {
"id": "SFBoardofEducation",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Francisco",
"raceName": "Board of Education",
"raceDescription": "Top four candidates win seat.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top4",
"timeUpdated": "7:05 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 21, 2024",
"totalVotes": 1012483,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Laurance Lem Lee",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 45716
},
{
"candidateName": "Lefteris Eleftheriou",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 22270
},
{
"candidateName": "Jaime Huling",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 168620
},
{
"candidateName": "Ann Hsu",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 81011
},
{
"candidateName": "John Jersin",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 122416
},
{
"candidateName": "Parag Gupta",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 139306
},
{
"candidateName": "Matt Alexander",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 122670
},
{
"candidateName": "Supryia Marie Ray",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 127806
},
{
"candidateName": "Virginia Cheung",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 100987
},
{
"candidateName": "Min Chang",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 48532
},
{
"candidateName": "Maddy Krantz",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 33149
}
]
},
"SFCommunityCollegeBoard": {
"id": "SFCommunityCollegeBoard",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Francisco",
"raceName": "Community College Board",
"raceDescription": "Top four candidates win seat.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top4",
"timeUpdated": "7:05 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 21, 2024",
"totalVotes": 823050,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Ruth Ferguson",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 114101
},
{
"candidateName": "Leanna C. Louie",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 50335
},
{
"candidateName": "Heather McCarty",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 162432
},
{
"candidateName": "Julio J. Ramos",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 38724
},
{
"candidateName": "Aliya Chisti",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 149593
},
{
"candidateName": "Ben Kaplan",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 49302
},
{
"candidateName": "Alan Wong",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 140911
},
{
"candidateName": "Luis Zamora",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 117652
}
]
},
"SFBARTBoardofDirectorsDistrict7": {
"id": "SFBARTBoardofDirectorsDistrict7",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Francisco",
"raceName": "San Francisco Bay Area Rapid Transit District Director, District 7",
"raceDescription": "Top two candidates win seat. Includes votes from San Francisco and Alameda County.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:05 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 21, 2024",
"totalVotes": 161112,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Victor E. Flores",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 92646
},
{
"candidateName": "Dana Lang",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 68466
}
]
},
"SFBARTBoardofDirectorsDistrict9": {
"id": "SFBARTBoardofDirectorsDistrict9",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Francisco",
"raceName": "San Francisco Bay Area Rapid Transit District Director, District 9",
"raceDescription": "Top two candidates win seat.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:05 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 21, 2024",
"totalVotes": 137833,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Edward Wright",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 86944
},
{
"candidateName": "Joe Sangirardi",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 50889
}
]
},
"SFMeasureA": {
"id": "SFMeasureA",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Francisco",
"raceName": "Measure A",
"raceDescription": "San Francisco Unified School District. School bond. Passes with 55% vote.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "yesNo",
"timeUpdated": "7:05 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 21, 2024",
"totalVotes": 377175,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Yes",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 282886
},
{
"candidateName": "No",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 94289
}
]
},
"SFMeasureB": {
"id": "SFMeasureB",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Francisco",
"raceName": "Measure B",
"raceDescription": "San Francisco. Community health and safety bond. Passes with 2/3 vote. ",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "yesNo",
"timeUpdated": "7:05 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 21, 2024",
"totalVotes": 376520,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Yes",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 274113
},
{
"candidateName": "No",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 102407
}
]
},
"SFMeasureC": {
"id": "SFMeasureC",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Francisco",
"raceName": "Measure C",
"raceDescription": "San Francisco. Inspector General position. Passes with majority vote.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "yesNo",
"timeUpdated": "7:05 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 21, 2024",
"totalVotes": 370248,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Yes",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 225630
},
{
"candidateName": "No",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 144618
}
]
},
"SFMeasureD": {
"id": "SFMeasureD",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Francisco",
"raceName": "Measure D",
"raceDescription": "San Francisco. Commissions and mayoral authority. Passes with majority vote.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "yesNo",
"timeUpdated": "7:05 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 21, 2024",
"totalVotes": 366215,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Yes",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 158664
},
{
"candidateName": "No",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 207551
}
]
},
"SFMeasureE": {
"id": "SFMeasureE",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Francisco",
"raceName": "Measure E",
"raceDescription": "San Francisco. Commissions task force. Passes with majority vote.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "yesNo",
"timeUpdated": "7:05 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 21, 2024",
"totalVotes": 363743,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Yes",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 192477
},
{
"candidateName": "No",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 171266
}
]
},
"SFMeasureF": {
"id": "SFMeasureF",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Francisco",
"raceName": "Measure F",
"raceDescription": "San Francisco. Police pensions. Passes with majority vote.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "yesNo",
"timeUpdated": "7:05 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 21, 2024",
"totalVotes": 361559,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Yes",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 163775
},
{
"candidateName": "No",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 197784
}
]
},
"SFMeasureG": {
"id": "SFMeasureG",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Francisco",
"raceName": "Measure G",
"raceDescription": "San Francisco. Affordable housing. Passes with majority vote.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "yesNo",
"timeUpdated": "7:05 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 21, 2024",
"totalVotes": 370708,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Yes",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 217728
},
{
"candidateName": "No",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 152980
}
]
},
"SFMeasureH": {
"id": "SFMeasureH",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Francisco",
"raceName": "Measure H",
"raceDescription": "San Francisco. Firefighter pensions. Passes with majority vote.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "yesNo",
"timeUpdated": "7:05 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 21, 2024",
"totalVotes": 365827,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Yes",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 192526
},
{
"candidateName": "No",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 173301
}
]
},
"SFMeasureI": {
"id": "SFMeasureI",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Francisco",
"raceName": "Measure I",
"raceDescription": "San Francisco. Nurse and 911 operator pensions. Passes with majority vote.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "yesNo",
"timeUpdated": "7:05 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 21, 2024",
"totalVotes": 363348,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Yes",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 261238
},
{
"candidateName": "No",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 102110
}
]
},
"SFMeasureJ": {
"id": "SFMeasureJ",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Francisco",
"raceName": "Measure J",
"raceDescription": "San Francisco. City spending. Passes with majority vote.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "yesNo",
"timeUpdated": "7:05 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 21, 2024",
"totalVotes": 362678,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Yes",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 297882
},
{
"candidateName": "No",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 64796
}
]
},
"SFMeasureK": {
"id": "SFMeasureK",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Francisco",
"raceName": "Measure K",
"raceDescription": "San Francisco. Permanently closing Upper Great Highway to private vehicles. Passes with majority vote.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "yesNo",
"timeUpdated": "7:05 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 21, 2024",
"totalVotes": 376370,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Yes",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 205988
},
{
"candidateName": "No",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 170382
}
]
},
"SFMeasureL": {
"id": "SFMeasureL",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Francisco",
"raceName": "Measure L",
"raceDescription": "San Francisco. Transportation network companies tax. Passes with majority vote.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "yesNo",
"timeUpdated": "7:05 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 21, 2024",
"totalVotes": 369460,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Yes",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 210314
},
{
"candidateName": "No",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 159146
}
]
},
"SFMeasureM": {
"id": "SFMeasureM",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Francisco",
"raceName": "Measure M",
"raceDescription": "San Francisco. Business tax. Passes with majority vote.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "yesNo",
"timeUpdated": "7:05 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 21, 2024",
"totalVotes": 342199,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Yes",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 237854
},
{
"candidateName": "No",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 104345
}
]
},
"SFMeasureN": {
"id": "SFMeasureN",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Francisco",
"raceName": "Measure N",
"raceDescription": "San Francisco. Student loan reimbursement. Passes with majority vote.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "yesNo",
"timeUpdated": "7:05 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 21, 2024",
"totalVotes": 363317,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Yes",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 187909
},
{
"candidateName": "No",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 175408
}
]
},
"SFMeasureO": {
"id": "SFMeasureO",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Francisco",
"raceName": "Measure O",
"raceDescription": "San Francisco. Reproductive rights. Passes with majority vote.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "yesNo",
"timeUpdated": "7:05 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 21, 2024",
"totalVotes": 373129,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Yes",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 312829
},
{
"candidateName": "No",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 60300
}
]
},
"SFMayorRound1": {
"id": "SFMayorRound1",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Francisco",
"raceName": "San Francisco Mayor Round 1",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. This result only reflects voters’ first-choice candidate. If votes are redistributed in an instant runoff, they are not reflected in this result.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:05 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 21, 2024",
"totalVotes": 390051,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "London Breed",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 95091
},
{
"candidateName": "Mark Farrell",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 72087
},
{
"candidateName": "Henry Flynn",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1318
},
{
"candidateName": "Keith Freedman",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 2077
},
{
"candidateName": "Dylan Hirsch-Shell",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 2895
},
{
"candidateName": "Daniel Lurie",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 102689
},
{
"candidateName": "Nelson Mei",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1791
},
{
"candidateName": "Aaron Peskin",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 89184
},
{
"candidateName": "Paul Robertson",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 812
},
{
"candidateName": "Ahsha Safai",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 11420
},
{
"candidateName": "Shahram Shariati",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1612
},
{
"candidateName": "Jon Soderstrom",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 412
},
{
"candidateName": "Ellen Zhou",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 8663
}
]
},
"SFMayorRound3": {
"id": "SFMayorRound3",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Francisco",
"raceName": "San Francisco Mayor Final Round",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. This is the latest ranked choice data provided by the Department of Elections office.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:05 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 21, 2024",
"totalVotes": 331376,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "London Breed",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 149073
},
{
"candidateName": "Mark Farrell (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
},
{
"candidateName": "Henry Flynn (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
},
{
"candidateName": "Keith Freedman (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
},
{
"candidateName": "Dylan Hirsch-Shell (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
},
{
"candidateName": "Daniel Lurie",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 182303
},
{
"candidateName": "Nelson Mei (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
},
{
"candidateName": "Aaron Peskin (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
},
{
"candidateName": "Paul Robertson (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
},
{
"candidateName": "Ahsha Safai (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
},
{
"candidateName": "Shahram Shariati (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
},
{
"candidateName": "Jon Soderstrom (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
},
{
"candidateName": "Ellen Zhou (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
}
]
},
"SFBoardofSupervisorsDistrict1": {
"id": "SFBoardofSupervisorsDistrict1",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Francisco",
"raceName": "Board of Supervisors, District 1 Round One",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. This result only reflects voters’ first-choice candidate. If votes are redistributed in an instant runoff, they are not reflected in this result.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:05 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 21, 2024",
"totalVotes": 35473,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Sherman D'Silva",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 899
},
{
"candidateName": "Marjan Philhour",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 14754
},
{
"candidateName": "Connie Chan",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 16666
},
{
"candidateName": "Jeremiah Boehner",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1344
},
{
"candidateName": "Jen Nossokoff",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1810
}
]
},
"SFBoardofSupervisorsDistrict1FinalRound": {
"id": "SFBoardofSupervisorsDistrict1FinalRound",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Francisco",
"raceName": "Board of Supervisors, District 1 Final Round",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. This is the latest ranked choice data provided by the Department of Elections office.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:05 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 21, 2024",
"totalVotes": 34294,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Sherman D'Silva (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
},
{
"candidateName": "Marjan Philhour",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 16498
},
{
"candidateName": "Connie Chan",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 17796
},
{
"candidateName": "Jeremiah Boehner (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
},
{
"candidateName": "Jen Nossokoff (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
}
]
},
"SFBoardofSupervisorsDistrict3": {
"id": "SFBoardofSupervisorsDistrict3",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Francisco",
"raceName": "Board of Supervisors, District 3 Round One",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. This result only reflects voters’ first-choice candidate. If votes are redistributed in an instant runoff, they are not reflected in this result.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:05 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 21, 2024",
"totalVotes": 28748,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Sharon Lai",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 8484
},
{
"candidateName": "Moe Jamil",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 3752
},
{
"candidateName": "Wendy Ha Chau",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1563
},
{
"candidateName": "Eduard Navarro",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 879
},
{
"candidateName": "Danny Sauter",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 11270
},
{
"candidateName": "Matthew Susk",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 2800
}
]
},
"SFBoardofSupervisorsDistrict3FinalRound": {
"id": "SFBoardofSupervisorsDistrict3FinalRound",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Francisco",
"raceName": "Board of Supervisors, District 3 Final Round",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. This is the latest ranked choice data provided by the Department of Elections office.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:05 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 21, 2024",
"totalVotes": 25558,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Sharon Lai",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 11504
},
{
"candidateName": "Moe Jamil (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
},
{
"candidateName": "Wendy Ha Chau (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
},
{
"candidateName": "Eduard Navarro (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
},
{
"candidateName": "Danny Sauter",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 14054
},
{
"candidateName": "Matthew Susk (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
}
]
},
"SFBoardofSupervisorsDistrict5": {
"id": "SFBoardofSupervisorsDistrict5",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Francisco",
"raceName": "Board of Supervisors, District 5",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. This result reflects redistributed votes. The results of the instant runoff will change as more first-choice votes are counted.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:05 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 21, 2024",
"totalVotes": 29688,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Autumn Hope Looijen",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 2604
},
{
"candidateName": "Bilal Mahmood",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 11838
},
{
"candidateName": "Scotty Jacobs",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 2795
},
{
"candidateName": "Allen Jones",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 444
},
{
"candidateName": "Dean Preston",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 12007
}
]
},
"SFBoardofSupervisorsDistrict5FinalRound": {
"id": "SFBoardofSupervisorsDistrict5FinalRound",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Francisco",
"raceName": "Board of Supervisors, District 5 Final Round",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. This is the latest ranked choice data provided by the Department of Elections office.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:05 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 21, 2024",
"totalVotes": 27809,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Autumn Hope Looijen (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
},
{
"candidateName": "Bilal Mahmood",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 14737
},
{
"candidateName": "Scotty Jacobs (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
},
{
"candidateName": "Allen Jones (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
},
{
"candidateName": "Dean Preston",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 13072
}
]
},
"SFBoardofSupervisorsDistrict7": {
"id": "SFBoardofSupervisorsDistrict7",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Francisco",
"raceName": "Board of Supervisors, District 7 Round One",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. This result only reflects voters’ first-choice candidate. If votes are redistributed in an instant runoff, they are not reflected in this result.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:05 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 21, 2024",
"totalVotes": 37308,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Myrna Melgar",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 17527
},
{
"candidateName": "Stephen Martin-Pinto",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 5133
},
{
"candidateName": "Edward S. Yee",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1243
},
{
"candidateName": "Matt Boschetto",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 13405
}
]
},
"SFBoardofSupervisorsDistrict7FinalRound": {
"id": "SFBoardofSupervisorsDistrict7FinalRound",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Francisco",
"raceName": "Board of Supervisors, District 7 Final Round",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. This is the latest ranked choice data provided by the Department of Elections office.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:05 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 21, 2024",
"totalVotes": 35402,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Myrna Melgar",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 18911
},
{
"candidateName": "Stephen Martin-Pinto (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
},
{
"candidateName": "Edward S. Yee (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
},
{
"candidateName": "Matt Boschetto",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 16491
}
]
},
"SFBoardofSupervisorsDistrict9": {
"id": "SFBoardofSupervisorsDistrict9",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Francisco",
"raceName": "Board of Supervisors, District 9 Round One",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. This result only reflects voters’ first-choice candidate. If votes are redistributed in an instant runoff, they are not reflected in this result.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:05 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 21, 2024",
"totalVotes": 32725,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Jackie Fielder",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 13843
},
{
"candidateName": "Stephen Jon Torres",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1139
},
{
"candidateName": "Roberto Hernandez",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 6605
},
{
"candidateName": "Jaime Gutierrez",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 931
},
{
"candidateName": "Trevor Chandler",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 9039
},
{
"candidateName": "Julian Bermudez",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 600
},
{
"candidateName": "H. Brown",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 568
}
]
},
"SFBoardofSupervisorsDistrict9FinalRound": {
"id": "SFBoardofSupervisorsDistrict9FinalRound",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Francisco",
"raceName": "Board of Supervisors, District 9 Final Round",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. This is the latest ranked choice data provided by the Department of Elections office.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:05 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 21, 2024",
"totalVotes": 29404,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Jackie Fielder",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 17545
},
{
"candidateName": "Stephen Jon Torres (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
},
{
"candidateName": "Roberto Hernandez (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
},
{
"candidateName": "Jaime Gutierrez (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
},
{
"candidateName": "Trevor Chandler",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 11859
},
{
"candidateName": "Julian Bermudez (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
},
{
"candidateName": "H. Brown (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
}
]
},
"SFBoardofSupervisorsDistrict11": {
"id": "SFBoardofSupervisorsDistrict11",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Francisco",
"raceName": "Board of Supervisors, District 11 First Round",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. This result only reflects voters’ first-choice candidate. If votes are redistributed in an instant runoff, they are not reflected in this result.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:05 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 21, 2024",
"totalVotes": 27915,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Oscar Flores",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 2893
},
{
"candidateName": "Michael Lai",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 8673
},
{
"candidateName": "Roger Marenco",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 603
},
{
"candidateName": "Jose Morales",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 629
},
{
"candidateName": "Ernest “EJ” Jones",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 5439
},
{
"candidateName": "Adlah Chisti",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1432
},
{
"candidateName": "Chyanne Chen",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 8246
}
]
},
"SFBoardofSupervisorsDistrict11FinalRound": {
"id": "SFBoardofSupervisorsDistrict11FinalRound",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Francisco",
"raceName": "Board of Supervisors, District 11 Final Round",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. This is the latest ranked choice data provided by the Department of Elections office.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:05 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 21, 2024",
"totalVotes": 23796,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Oscar Flores (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
},
{
"candidateName": "Michael Lai",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 11800
},
{
"candidateName": "Roger Marenco (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
},
{
"candidateName": "Jose Morales (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
},
{
"candidateName": "Ernest “EJ” Jones (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
},
{
"candidateName": "Adlah Chisti (eliminated)",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 0
},
{
"candidateName": "Chyanne Chen",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 11996
}
]
},
"SFCityAttorney": {
"id": "SFCityAttorney",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Francisco",
"raceName": "City Attorney ",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. ",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:05 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 21, 2024",
"totalVotes": 329070,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "David Chiu",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 272777
},
{
"candidateName": "Richard T. Woon",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 56293
}
]
},
"SFDistrictAttorney": {
"id": "SFDistrictAttorney",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Francisco",
"raceName": "District Attorney",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. ",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:05 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 21, 2024",
"totalVotes": 347270,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Brooke Jenkins ",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 228923
},
{
"candidateName": "Ryan Khojasteh",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 118347
}
]
},
"SFSheriff": {
"id": "SFSheriff",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Francisco",
"raceName": "Sheriff ",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. ",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:05 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 21, 2024",
"totalVotes": 314763,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Michael Juan",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 63743
},
{
"candidateName": "Paul Miyamoto",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 251020
}
]
},
"SFTreasurer": {
"id": "SFTreasurer",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Francisco",
"raceName": "Treasurer ",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat. ",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:05 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 21, 2024",
"totalVotes": 300318,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "José Cisneros",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 300318
}
]
},
"SMCountyBoardofEducationTrusteeArea4": {
"id": "SMCountyBoardofEducationTrusteeArea4",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Mateo",
"raceName": "County Board of Education, Trustee Area 4",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:54 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
"totalVotes": 36346,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Priya Hays",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 10548
},
{
"candidateName": "Chelsea Bonini",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 25798
}
]
},
"SMCountyBoardofEducationTrusteeArea5": {
"id": "SMCountyBoardofEducationTrusteeArea5",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Mateo",
"raceName": "County Board of Education, Trustee Area 5",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:54 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
"totalVotes": 41833,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Maurice Goodman",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 14576
},
{
"candidateName": "Mike O’Neill",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 27257
}
]
},
"SMCountyBoardofEducationTrusteeArea6": {
"id": "SMCountyBoardofEducationTrusteeArea6",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Mateo",
"raceName": "County Board of Education, Trustee Area 6",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:54 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
"totalVotes": 39824,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Patricia Love",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 28016
},
{
"candidateName": "Ester Adut",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 11808
}
]
},
"SMSanMateoCountyCommunityCollegeDistrictGoverningBoardTrusteeArea1": {
"id": "SMSanMateoCountyCommunityCollegeDistrictGoverningBoardTrusteeArea1",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Mateo",
"raceName": "San Mateo County Community College District, Governing Board, Trustee Area 1",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:54 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
"totalVotes": 63951,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Keith Holden",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 20221
},
{
"candidateName": "Lisa A. Petrides",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 43730
}
]
},
"SMCabrilloUnifiedSchoolDistrictGoverningBoardTrusteeAreaB": {
"id": "SMCabrilloUnifiedSchoolDistrictGoverningBoardTrusteeAreaB",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Mateo",
"raceName": "Cabrillo Unified School District, Governing Board, Trustee Area B",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:54 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
"totalVotes": 2528,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Breanna Lafontaine",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1609
},
{
"candidateName": "Glenn Wilson",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 919
}
]
},
"SMCabrilloUnifiedSchoolDistrictGoverningBoardTrusteeAreaD": {
"id": "SMCabrilloUnifiedSchoolDistrictGoverningBoardTrusteeAreaD",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Mateo",
"raceName": "Cabrillo Unified School District, Governing Board, Trustee Area D",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:54 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
"totalVotes": 2583,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Sophia Layne",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 844
},
{
"candidateName": "Peter Cerneka",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1739
}
]
},
"SMSouthSanFranciscoUnifiedSchoolDistrictGoverningBoardTrusteeAreaA": {
"id": "SMSouthSanFranciscoUnifiedSchoolDistrictGoverningBoardTrusteeAreaA",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Mateo",
"raceName": "South San Francisco Unified School District, Governing Board, Trustee Area A",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:54 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
"totalVotes": 5134,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Patricia “Pat” Murray",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 4010
},
{
"candidateName": "Samuel M. Chetcuti",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1124
}
]
},
"SMSequoiaUnionHighSchoolDistrictGoverningBoardTrusteeAreaB": {
"id": "SMSequoiaUnionHighSchoolDistrictGoverningBoardTrusteeAreaB",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Mateo",
"raceName": "Sequoia Union High School District, Governing Board, Trustee Area B",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:54 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
"totalVotes": 22189,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Mary Beth Thompson",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 14150
},
{
"candidateName": "Daniel Torunian",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1970
},
{
"candidateName": "Jacob Yuryev",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 6069
}
]
},
"SMSequoiaUnionHighSchoolDistrictGoverningBoardTrusteeAreaE": {
"id": "SMSequoiaUnionHighSchoolDistrictGoverningBoardTrusteeAreaE",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Mateo",
"raceName": "Sequoia Union High School District, Governing Board, Trustee Area E",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:54 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
"totalVotes": 10488,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Tonga Victoria Afuhaamango",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 3118
},
{
"candidateName": "Maria E. Cruz",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 5558
},
{
"candidateName": "Jon Bryant",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1812
}
]
},
"SMBrisbaneSchoolDistrictGoverningBoard": {
"id": "SMBrisbaneSchoolDistrictGoverningBoard",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Mateo",
"raceName": "Brisbane School District, Governing Board",
"raceDescription": "Top two candidates win seat. ",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top2",
"timeUpdated": "7:54 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
"totalVotes": 5531,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Karen Lentz",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1806
},
{
"candidateName": "Nancy E. Lacsamana",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1138
},
{
"candidateName": "Gaby Makstman",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 518
},
{
"candidateName": "Krystal Alcaraz",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 884
},
{
"candidateName": "Christine Oquendo",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1185
}
]
},
"SMJeffersonElementarySchoolDistrictGoverningBoard": {
"id": "SMJeffersonElementarySchoolDistrictGoverningBoard",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Mateo",
"raceName": "Jefferson Elementary School District, Governing Board",
"raceDescription": "Top two candidates win seat. ",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top2",
"timeUpdated": "7:54 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
"totalVotes": 34866,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Nadia Flamenco",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 13024
},
{
"candidateName": "Andrea Jordan",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 11192
},
{
"candidateName": "Cheryll Catuar",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 10650
}
]
},
"SMLasLomitasElementarySchoolDistrictGoverningBoardFullTerm": {
"id": "SMLasLomitasElementarySchoolDistrictGoverningBoardFullTerm",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Mateo",
"raceName": "Las Lomitas Elementary School District, Governing Board — Full Term",
"raceDescription": "Top two candidates win seat. ",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top2",
"timeUpdated": "7:54 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
"totalVotes": 8236,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Kimberly Legg",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 2601
},
{
"candidateName": "Jason Morimoto",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 3627
},
{
"candidateName": "Pooya Sarabandi",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 2008
}
]
},
"SMLasLomitasElementarySchoolDistrictGoverningBoardShortTerm": {
"id": "SMLasLomitasElementarySchoolDistrictGoverningBoardShortTerm",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Mateo",
"raceName": "Las Lomitas Elementary School District, Governing Board — Short Term",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:54 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
"totalVotes": 5332,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Paige Winikoff",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 3885
},
{
"candidateName": "Shauna Smith",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1447
}
]
},
"SMSanBrunoParkSchoolDistrictGoverningBoardTrusteeArea1": {
"id": "SMSanBrunoParkSchoolDistrictGoverningBoardTrusteeArea1",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Mateo",
"raceName": "San Bruno Park School District, Governing Board, Trustee Area 1",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:54 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
"totalVotes": 3184,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Kingsley Ma",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1862
},
{
"candidateName": "Jennifer M. Blanco",
"candidateIncumbent": true,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 1322
}
]
},
"SMWoodsideElementarySchoolDistrictGoverningBoard": {
"id": "SMWoodsideElementarySchoolDistrictGoverningBoard",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "San Mateo",
"raceName": "Woodside Elementary School District, Governing Board",
"raceDescription": "Top two candidates win seat. ",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top2",
"timeUpdated": "7:54 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
"totalVotes": 2550,
"candidates": [
{
"candidateName": "Sherry Lin",
"candidateIncumbent": false,
"candidateParty": "",
"voteCount": 929
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"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
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"timeUpdated": "7:54 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
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"timeUpdated": "7:54 PM",
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"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
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"timeUpdated": "7:48 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
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"timeUpdated": "7:48 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
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"timeUpdated": "7:48 PM",
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"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
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"timeUpdated": "7:48 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
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"timeUpdated": "7:48 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
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{
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"candidateIncumbent": false,
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]
},
"SCMeasureBB": {
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"raceType": "yesNo",
"timeUpdated": "7:48 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
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{
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},
"SCMeasureCC": {
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"location": "Santa Clara",
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"timeUpdated": "7:48 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
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"candidates": [
{
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},
{
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"candidateIncumbent": false,
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]
},
"SCMeasureEE": {
"id": "SCMeasureEE",
"type": "localRace",
"location": "Santa Clara",
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"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "yesNo",
"timeUpdated": "7:48 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
"totalVotes": 23179,
"candidates": [
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{
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"SCMeasureGG": {
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"location": "Santa Clara",
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"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "yesNo",
"timeUpdated": "7:48 PM",
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"raceType": "yesNo",
"timeUpdated": "7:48 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
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"candidates": [
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"timeUpdated": "7:12 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
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{
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{
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"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:12 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
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"candidates": [
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},
{
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"candidateIncumbent": true,
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},
{
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},
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{
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},
{
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},
{
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"candidateIncumbent": false,
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},
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"timeUpdated": "7:12 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
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{
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},
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"location": "Solano",
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"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
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{
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},
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"type": "localRace",
"location": "Solano",
"raceName": "Fairfield-Suisun Unified School District, Trustee Area 7 — Short Term",
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"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
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},
{
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},
{
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},
{
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"candidateIncumbent": true,
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},
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"raceName": "River Delta Unified School District, Trustee Area 4",
"raceDescription": "Top candidate wins seat.",
"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:12 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
"totalVotes": 1809,
"candidates": [
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"voteCount": 782
},
{
"candidateName": "Suzanne Wilson",
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"type": "localRace",
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"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:12 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
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"candidates": [
{
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{
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"type": "localRace",
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"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
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{
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{
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{
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{
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{
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{
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{
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"SolanoBeniciaCityClerk": {
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"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:12 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
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},
"SolanoBeniciaCityTreasurer": {
"id": "SolanoBeniciaCityTreasurer",
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"SolanoDixonMayor": {
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"raceReadTheStory": "",
"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:12 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
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{
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"timeUpdated": "7:12 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
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"timeUpdated": "7:12 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
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"timeUpdated": "7:12 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
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"location": "Sonoma",
"raceName": "Sonoma County Board of Education, Trustee Area 3 (Central County)",
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"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:45 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
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"candidates": [
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{
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"id": "SonomaMarinCountyBoardofEducationTrusteeArea7",
"type": "localRace",
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"raceName": "Marin County Board of Education, Trustee Area 7\r\n",
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"raceType": "top1",
"timeUpdated": "7:45 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
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"candidates": [
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{
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{
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{
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{
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{
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{
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{
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{
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{
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{
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{
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{
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{
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{
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{
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{
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{
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{
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"raceType": "yesNo",
"timeUpdated": "7:45 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
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{
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"SonomaMeasureAA": {
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"location": "Sonoma",
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"raceType": "yesNo",
"timeUpdated": "7:45 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
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"SonomaMeasureK": {
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"location": "Sonoma",
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"raceType": "yesNo",
"timeUpdated": "7:45 PM",
"dateUpdated": "Nov 22, 2024",
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{
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