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Research Says Yes, But It Varies by Situation","publishDate":1720605600,"format":"standard","headTitle":"Are Some Children Really More Sensitive? Research Says Yes, But It Varies by Situation | KQED","labelTerm":{"site":"mindshift"},"content":"\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Sensitive children often get a bad rap. They can be labeled as “difficult,” “dramatic” or “spoiled,” and often parents are blamed for coddling or over-accommodating them. Yet, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9666332/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> increasingly suggests that children show real differences in sensitivity and respond to parenting differently as a result. In other words, some children really \u003cem>are\u003c/em> more sensitive than other children and it isn’t just an excuse that parents use for “misbehavior.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">One way that researchers have conceptualized sensitive children is the \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.nature.com/articles/s41398-017-0090-6.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Orchid-Dandelion metaphor\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. According to this metaphor, some children are orchids, meaning they thrive only under ideal conditions and are very sensitive to changes in their environment. Orchid children are contrasted with dandelion children, meaning children that can flourish in any environment and who are not very sensitive to environmental changes. According to this study, about 31% of people are orchids and 29% are dandelions. Researchers also found that about 40% of people are tulips, meaning they show a level of sensitivity somewhere in between dandelions and orchids (that is, they don’t necessarily need ideal conditions like orchids but can’t flourish in any condition like dandelions). \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.cambridge.org/core/services/aop-cambridge-core/content/view/4ADAF88C7F63FF2C2CDE99880943C3B7/S0954579421000821a.pdf/div-class-title-beyond-orchids-and-dandelions-susceptibility-to-environmental-influences-is-not-bimodal-div.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Some researchers\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> argue that the Orchid-Dandelion metaphor is an oversimplification and that sensitivity occurs on a spectrum. Researchers also argue that most children are not simply sensitive across the board but show a unique profile of sensitivities. For example, your child may be very sensitive to changes in their sleep but not very sensitive to changes in their routine, or they may be the pickiest eater but can jump into any new situation without hesitating. Although the Orchid-Dandelion metaphor may be an oversimplification, it does help us to understand that sensitivity is all about how children respond to their environment. Being sensitive doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with the child themselves. Rather, it means that we might have to alter the environment in order to optimally meet their needs.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Sensitivity in children is also discussed in the framework of being a “highly sensitive person” (HSP). This term was coined by psychologist Elaine Aron in 1997 in her book, \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. Being a highly sensitive person is not an official diagnosis or mental condition, but \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/9248053/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> finds that it is a personality difference characterized by being more hesitant in new situations and showing more sensitivity in sensory input (such as being more reactive to pain, noise or lack of sleep). \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4086365/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> also finds real neurobiological differences in how highly sensitive individuals respond to their environment.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">A recent study provides some new insights into sensitivity in children and what we can do as parents. This \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/desc.13531\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">new study\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> looked at how a child’s sensitivity impacts their development later in life and found some interesting results. This study looked at how sensitive children were to the following influences at age 3: \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>1. Parent praise\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>2. Parent stress\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>3. Child mood\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>4. Child sleep\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Any parent of a toddler (especially any parent of a sensitive toddler) will get a kick out of this — the researchers measured sensitivity of children during toothbrushing. Parents submitted videos of their children during toothbrushing for two weeks and kept diaries of their children’s moods and sleep. An interesting aside is that this research group found in a \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8930564/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">previous study\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> that children brushed their teeth for longer when their parents used more praise and less direct instruction and on days when they were in a better mood. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When the children were 5 to 7 years old, researchers asked parents to report on the child’s problems, including both behavioral and mental health problems. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The researchers found the following: \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>1. Some children are more sensitive to praise from their parents and this type of sensitivity is linked with fewer problems later in life:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Children who were more sensitive to their parents’ praise at age 3 showed fewer behavior problems and fewer symptoms of depression and anxiety at age 5 to 7. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>2. Some children are more sensitive to changes in their own mood and this type of sensitivity is linked with more problems later in life\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">: Children whose behavior was more impacted by their own mood at age 3 showed more symptoms of depression and anxiety at age 5 to 7. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>3. Praise from parents regardless of child sensitivity is linked with fewer behavior problems:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> When parents praised their children more frequently and more consistently at age 3, their children show fewer behavior problems at age 5 to 7. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>4. Sensitivity to mood and parent stress are related\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">: Children who were more sensitive to changes in their own mood were also more sensitive to changes in their parent’s stress. However, sensitivity to parent stress was not related to problems later in life. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>Overall translation\u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">If you have a more sensitive child, you can rest assured that it isn’t all in your head and it isn’t your fault. We need more research on this topic, but the research we have suggests some ways that parents can think about sensitive children and support these children to the best of their ability. So how might this research influence your parenting? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>1. Remember that sensitivity isn’t necessarily a bad thing. \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The children who were more sensitive to praise in the study described above showed fewer problems later in life. We need more research on this topic but it is possible that sensitive children may have the advantage of being more sensitive to some positive influences as well. Make sure you notice some of the positive impacts of your child’s sensitive nature rather than only focusing on the negative impacts. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>2. Accept that some children are just more sensitive, but sensitivity may be more complicated than you think\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. This study, along with previous research, suggests that children may be differently sensitive to different influences. In other words, you shouldn’t assume that your child (or any child) is generally “sensitive” but rather it might be more helpful to think about the specific situations that trigger sensitivity. For example, your child may be more sensitive to influences at home than at school. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>3. Teach new skills to children who are sensitive to changes in their own mood. \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The study described above found that the children who were less sensitive to changes in their own mood showed less behavior problems later in childhood. We can support these more sensitive children by teaching them coping skills so behavior doesn’t have to always be dictated by their mood. This does not mean that you are teaching your child not to experience the emotion — only that emotions don’t always have to change their behavior. This is often the goal of therapy for both adults and children. Coping skills could include deep breathing, taking a break and self-talk, such as telling themselves, “Even though I am nervous, I can still do it!”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>4. Know your child and provide extra support to them in the areas that they are more sensitive.\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Think about your own child. When do they show orchid, dandelion and tulip behavior? Sensitivity in children is all about how children respond to their environment. So think about how you can change the environment to help them. For example, if you have a child that is very sensitive to changes in plans, you can prepare them for the possibility of any changes or help them to learn coping strategies to handle these changes. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>5. Regardless of sensitivity, praise your child frequently and consistently\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. Previous \u003ca href=\"https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/parenting-translator/202203/should-parents-really-stop-praising-their-children\">research\u003c/a> finds many benefits of praise. The study described above adds to this by suggesting that, if your child seems to respond well to praise, it is even more important to praise them frequently and consistently. This study did not look at the type of praise but \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Andrei-Cimpian/publication/6360300_Subtle_Linguistic_Cues_Affect_Children%27s_Motivation/links/5e9ccd4d299bf13079aa3266/Subtle-Linguistic-Cues-Affect-Childrens-Motivation.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">previous research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> shows that parents should praise based on effort and hard work rather than characteristics of the child, such as, “You did a great job listening to me” vs. “You are a good listener.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>Cara Goodwin, PhD, is a licensed psychologist, a mother of four and the founder of \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Parenting Translator\u003c/a>, a nonprofit newsletter that turns scientific research into information that is accurate, relevant and useful for parents.\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"Research increasingly suggests that children show real differences in sensitivity and respond to parenting differently as a result.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1720621959,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":25,"wordCount":1425},"headData":{"title":"Are Some Children Really More Sensitive? 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Research Says Yes, But It Varies by Situation","datePublished":"2024-07-10T03:00:00-07:00","dateModified":"2024-07-10T07:32:39-07:00","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}},"sticky":false,"nprByline":"Cara Goodwin, \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.org\" target=\"_blank\">The Parenting Translator\u003c/a>","nprStoryId":"kqed-64150","excludeFromSiteSearch":"Include","showOnAuthorArchivePages":"No","articleAge":"0","path":"/mindshift/64150/are-some-children-really-more-sensitive-research-says-yes-but-it-varies-by-situation","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Sensitive children often get a bad rap. They can be labeled as “difficult,” “dramatic” or “spoiled,” and often parents are blamed for coddling or over-accommodating them. Yet, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9666332/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> increasingly suggests that children show real differences in sensitivity and respond to parenting differently as a result. In other words, some children really \u003cem>are\u003c/em> more sensitive than other children and it isn’t just an excuse that parents use for “misbehavior.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">One way that researchers have conceptualized sensitive children is the \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.nature.com/articles/s41398-017-0090-6.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Orchid-Dandelion metaphor\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. According to this metaphor, some children are orchids, meaning they thrive only under ideal conditions and are very sensitive to changes in their environment. Orchid children are contrasted with dandelion children, meaning children that can flourish in any environment and who are not very sensitive to environmental changes. According to this study, about 31% of people are orchids and 29% are dandelions. Researchers also found that about 40% of people are tulips, meaning they show a level of sensitivity somewhere in between dandelions and orchids (that is, they don’t necessarily need ideal conditions like orchids but can’t flourish in any condition like dandelions). \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.cambridge.org/core/services/aop-cambridge-core/content/view/4ADAF88C7F63FF2C2CDE99880943C3B7/S0954579421000821a.pdf/div-class-title-beyond-orchids-and-dandelions-susceptibility-to-environmental-influences-is-not-bimodal-div.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Some researchers\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> argue that the Orchid-Dandelion metaphor is an oversimplification and that sensitivity occurs on a spectrum. Researchers also argue that most children are not simply sensitive across the board but show a unique profile of sensitivities. For example, your child may be very sensitive to changes in their sleep but not very sensitive to changes in their routine, or they may be the pickiest eater but can jump into any new situation without hesitating. Although the Orchid-Dandelion metaphor may be an oversimplification, it does help us to understand that sensitivity is all about how children respond to their environment. Being sensitive doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with the child themselves. Rather, it means that we might have to alter the environment in order to optimally meet their needs.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Sensitivity in children is also discussed in the framework of being a “highly sensitive person” (HSP). This term was coined by psychologist Elaine Aron in 1997 in her book, \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. Being a highly sensitive person is not an official diagnosis or mental condition, but \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/9248053/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> finds that it is a personality difference characterized by being more hesitant in new situations and showing more sensitivity in sensory input (such as being more reactive to pain, noise or lack of sleep). \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4086365/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> also finds real neurobiological differences in how highly sensitive individuals respond to their environment.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">A recent study provides some new insights into sensitivity in children and what we can do as parents. This \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/desc.13531\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">new study\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> looked at how a child’s sensitivity impacts their development later in life and found some interesting results. This study looked at how sensitive children were to the following influences at age 3: \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>1. Parent praise\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>2. Parent stress\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>3. Child mood\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>4. Child sleep\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Any parent of a toddler (especially any parent of a sensitive toddler) will get a kick out of this — the researchers measured sensitivity of children during toothbrushing. Parents submitted videos of their children during toothbrushing for two weeks and kept diaries of their children’s moods and sleep. An interesting aside is that this research group found in a \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8930564/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">previous study\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> that children brushed their teeth for longer when their parents used more praise and less direct instruction and on days when they were in a better mood. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When the children were 5 to 7 years old, researchers asked parents to report on the child’s problems, including both behavioral and mental health problems. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The researchers found the following: \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>1. Some children are more sensitive to praise from their parents and this type of sensitivity is linked with fewer problems later in life:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Children who were more sensitive to their parents’ praise at age 3 showed fewer behavior problems and fewer symptoms of depression and anxiety at age 5 to 7. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>2. Some children are more sensitive to changes in their own mood and this type of sensitivity is linked with more problems later in life\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">: Children whose behavior was more impacted by their own mood at age 3 showed more symptoms of depression and anxiety at age 5 to 7. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>3. Praise from parents regardless of child sensitivity is linked with fewer behavior problems:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> When parents praised their children more frequently and more consistently at age 3, their children show fewer behavior problems at age 5 to 7. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>4. Sensitivity to mood and parent stress are related\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">: Children who were more sensitive to changes in their own mood were also more sensitive to changes in their parent’s stress. However, sensitivity to parent stress was not related to problems later in life. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>Overall translation\u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">If you have a more sensitive child, you can rest assured that it isn’t all in your head and it isn’t your fault. We need more research on this topic, but the research we have suggests some ways that parents can think about sensitive children and support these children to the best of their ability. So how might this research influence your parenting? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>1. Remember that sensitivity isn’t necessarily a bad thing. \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The children who were more sensitive to praise in the study described above showed fewer problems later in life. We need more research on this topic but it is possible that sensitive children may have the advantage of being more sensitive to some positive influences as well. Make sure you notice some of the positive impacts of your child’s sensitive nature rather than only focusing on the negative impacts. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>2. Accept that some children are just more sensitive, but sensitivity may be more complicated than you think\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. This study, along with previous research, suggests that children may be differently sensitive to different influences. In other words, you shouldn’t assume that your child (or any child) is generally “sensitive” but rather it might be more helpful to think about the specific situations that trigger sensitivity. For example, your child may be more sensitive to influences at home than at school. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>3. Teach new skills to children who are sensitive to changes in their own mood. \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The study described above found that the children who were less sensitive to changes in their own mood showed less behavior problems later in childhood. We can support these more sensitive children by teaching them coping skills so behavior doesn’t have to always be dictated by their mood. This does not mean that you are teaching your child not to experience the emotion — only that emotions don’t always have to change their behavior. This is often the goal of therapy for both adults and children. Coping skills could include deep breathing, taking a break and self-talk, such as telling themselves, “Even though I am nervous, I can still do it!”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>4. Know your child and provide extra support to them in the areas that they are more sensitive.\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Think about your own child. When do they show orchid, dandelion and tulip behavior? Sensitivity in children is all about how children respond to their environment. So think about how you can change the environment to help them. For example, if you have a child that is very sensitive to changes in plans, you can prepare them for the possibility of any changes or help them to learn coping strategies to handle these changes. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>5. Regardless of sensitivity, praise your child frequently and consistently\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. Previous \u003ca href=\"https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/parenting-translator/202203/should-parents-really-stop-praising-their-children\">research\u003c/a> finds many benefits of praise. The study described above adds to this by suggesting that, if your child seems to respond well to praise, it is even more important to praise them frequently and consistently. This study did not look at the type of praise but \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Andrei-Cimpian/publication/6360300_Subtle_Linguistic_Cues_Affect_Children%27s_Motivation/links/5e9ccd4d299bf13079aa3266/Subtle-Linguistic-Cues-Affect-Childrens-Motivation.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">previous research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> shows that parents should praise based on effort and hard work rather than characteristics of the child, such as, “You did a great job listening to me” vs. “You are a good listener.”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>Cara Goodwin, PhD, is a licensed psychologist, a mother of four and the founder of \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Parenting Translator\u003c/a>, a nonprofit newsletter that turns scientific research into information that is accurate, relevant and useful for parents.\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/mindshift/64150/are-some-children-really-more-sensitive-research-says-yes-but-it-varies-by-situation","authors":["byline_mindshift_64150"],"categories":["mindshift_21504","mindshift_21280"],"tags":["mindshift_20568","mindshift_21706","mindshift_290","mindshift_21703","mindshift_943"],"featImg":"mindshift_64156","label":"mindshift"},"mindshift_63173":{"type":"posts","id":"mindshift_63173","meta":{"index":"posts_1716263798","site":"mindshift","id":"63173","score":null,"sort":[1707955213000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"3-research-backed-tips-for-teaching-forgiveness-to-children","title":"3 Research-Backed Tips for Teaching Forgiveness to Children","publishDate":1707955213,"format":"standard","headTitle":"3 Research-Backed Tips for Teaching Forgiveness to Children | KQED","labelTerm":{"site":"mindshift"},"content":"\u003cp>\u003cem>This post was \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/p/teaching-forgiveness-to-children\">originally published\u003c/a> by Parenting Translator. Sign up for \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">the newsletter\u003c/a> and follow Parenting Translator \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/parentingtranslator/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">on Instagram\u003c/a>.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You may have never thought specifically about teaching your child forgiveness but we have all experienced a situation in which forgiveness comes into play. Maybe you’ve apologized to your child only to have them stare back at you blankly. Or maybe your child had a misunderstanding with their friend on the playground and even after it had been resolved refused to play with that friend. Or maybe their brother accidentally pushed them and they still lashed out and pushed back.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Forgiving and moving on is just as important in repairing a relationship as \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/62290/teaching-kids-the-right-way-to-say-im-sorry\">apologizing and making up for a mistake\u003c/a>. As adults, we know the importance of forgiveness in our relationships, but what about for our children? How do they learn to forgive others and move on? And is there anything we can do to teach them to be more forgiving?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.researchgate.net/publication/324156892_The_Emergence_of_Forgiveness_in_Young_Children\">Research\u003c/a> finds that children as young as four show forgiveness, particularly when the offending party is is remorseful or apologetic. When children are more forgiving, it not only helps their social relationships, but is also associated with \u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S014019711200053X\">increased self-esteem, lower levels of social anxiety\u003c/a> and \u003ca href=\"https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Johan-Karremans/publication/288039910_Interpersonal_Forgiveness_and_Psychological_Well-being_in_Late_Childhood/links/568a80d208ae1e63f1fbcee0/Interpersonal-Forgiveness-and-Psychological-Well-being-in-Late-Childhood.pdf\">improved psychological well-being\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2021-92064-001\">A recent study\u003c/a> may help us to understand the factors that make children more likely to forgive. This study included 185 children from ages 5 to 14 years. The researchers interviewed children to find out how likely they were to forgive another child who left them out of an activity. The researchers also examined whether it mattered for forgiveness when the other child was on the same team versus on another team, whether the other child gave a sincere apology, and tested the children’s “theory of mind” skills (translation: children’s ability to take the perspectives of others and understand that other people have different thoughts, beliefs and emotions).\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>Three main findings\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>The researchers found that children were more likely to forgive others when:\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>The other child gave a sincere apology\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>They thought of the other child as on the same team or part of their group\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>When they had more advanced theory of mind skills\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003ch3>Translation\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>This study suggests that forgiveness is complicated, even for young children. Of course this is a preliminary study and further research is needed to better understand the development of forgiveness in children, but it does provide some interesting insights. So how can this research help you to teach your children about forgiveness?\u003c/p>\n\u003col>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Work with your child on their perspective-taking abilities.\u003c/strong> Ask them why another person might have acted in a certain way and what they might be feeling. Help them to see the other child’s point of view in a conflict. Explain to them your thoughts and perspectives in different situations. Point out the thoughts, feelings and perspectives of characters in books, movies and television shows, whenever you have the chance.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Explain how other children are similar to your children even when they seem different on the surface.\u003c/strong> Research finds that children are more likely to forgive others when they think of themselves on the same “team” as that child ,so seeing the child as more similar to themselves may help to generate these feelings.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Help your children learn to apologize in a sincere way and recognize a sincere apology \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/p/should-you-make-your-kids-apologize\">when they receive one\u003c/a>.\u003c/strong> This research suggests that sincere apologies are important in forgiveness. Apologizing sincerely means being clear in expressing that they understood what they did wrong and a plan to do better in the future. Parents should also try to model sincere apologies when apologizing to their children and practice it with them regularly.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ol>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>Cara Goodwin, PhD, is a licensed psychologist, a mother of four and the founder of \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Parenting Translator\u003c/a>, a nonprofit newsletter that turns scientific research into information that is accurate, relevant and useful for parents.\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"Child psychologist Cara Goodwin shares research-backed ways to help your child learn how to forgive others.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1720104699,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":10,"wordCount":667},"headData":{"title":"3 Research-Backed Tips for Teaching Forgiveness to Children | KQED","description":"Child psychologist Cara Goodwin shares research-backed ways to help your child learn how to forgive others.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","socialDescription":"Child psychologist Cara Goodwin shares research-backed ways to help your child learn how to forgive others.","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"Article","headline":"3 Research-Backed Tips for Teaching Forgiveness to Children","datePublished":"2024-02-14T16:00:13-08:00","dateModified":"2024-07-04T07:51:39-07:00","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}},"sticky":false,"nprByline":"Cara Goodwin, \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.org\" target=\"_blank\">The Parenting Translator\u003c/a>","excludeFromSiteSearch":"Include","showOnAuthorArchivePages":"No","articleAge":"0","path":"/mindshift/63173/3-research-backed-tips-for-teaching-forgiveness-to-children","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cem>This post was \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/p/teaching-forgiveness-to-children\">originally published\u003c/a> by Parenting Translator. Sign up for \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">the newsletter\u003c/a> and follow Parenting Translator \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/parentingtranslator/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">on Instagram\u003c/a>.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>You may have never thought specifically about teaching your child forgiveness but we have all experienced a situation in which forgiveness comes into play. Maybe you’ve apologized to your child only to have them stare back at you blankly. Or maybe your child had a misunderstanding with their friend on the playground and even after it had been resolved refused to play with that friend. Or maybe their brother accidentally pushed them and they still lashed out and pushed back.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>Forgiving and moving on is just as important in repairing a relationship as \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/62290/teaching-kids-the-right-way-to-say-im-sorry\">apologizing and making up for a mistake\u003c/a>. As adults, we know the importance of forgiveness in our relationships, but what about for our children? How do they learn to forgive others and move on? And is there anything we can do to teach them to be more forgiving?\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.researchgate.net/publication/324156892_The_Emergence_of_Forgiveness_in_Young_Children\">Research\u003c/a> finds that children as young as four show forgiveness, particularly when the offending party is is remorseful or apologetic. When children are more forgiving, it not only helps their social relationships, but is also associated with \u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S014019711200053X\">increased self-esteem, lower levels of social anxiety\u003c/a> and \u003ca href=\"https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Johan-Karremans/publication/288039910_Interpersonal_Forgiveness_and_Psychological_Well-being_in_Late_Childhood/links/568a80d208ae1e63f1fbcee0/Interpersonal-Forgiveness-and-Psychological-Well-being-in-Late-Childhood.pdf\">improved psychological well-being\u003c/a>.\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2021-92064-001\">A recent study\u003c/a> may help us to understand the factors that make children more likely to forgive. This study included 185 children from ages 5 to 14 years. The researchers interviewed children to find out how likely they were to forgive another child who left them out of an activity. The researchers also examined whether it mattered for forgiveness when the other child was on the same team versus on another team, whether the other child gave a sincere apology, and tested the children’s “theory of mind” skills (translation: children’s ability to take the perspectives of others and understand that other people have different thoughts, beliefs and emotions).\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>Three main findings\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>The researchers found that children were more likely to forgive others when:\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli>The other child gave a sincere apology\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>They thought of the other child as on the same team or part of their group\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>When they had more advanced theory of mind skills\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003ch3>Translation\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>This study suggests that forgiveness is complicated, even for young children. Of course this is a preliminary study and further research is needed to better understand the development of forgiveness in children, but it does provide some interesting insights. So how can this research help you to teach your children about forgiveness?\u003c/p>\n\u003col>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Work with your child on their perspective-taking abilities.\u003c/strong> Ask them why another person might have acted in a certain way and what they might be feeling. Help them to see the other child’s point of view in a conflict. Explain to them your thoughts and perspectives in different situations. Point out the thoughts, feelings and perspectives of characters in books, movies and television shows, whenever you have the chance.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Explain how other children are similar to your children even when they seem different on the surface.\u003c/strong> Research finds that children are more likely to forgive others when they think of themselves on the same “team” as that child ,so seeing the child as more similar to themselves may help to generate these feelings.\u003c/li>\n\u003cli>\u003cstrong>Help your children learn to apologize in a sincere way and recognize a sincere apology \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/p/should-you-make-your-kids-apologize\">when they receive one\u003c/a>.\u003c/strong> This research suggests that sincere apologies are important in forgiveness. Apologizing sincerely means being clear in expressing that they understood what they did wrong and a plan to do better in the future. Parents should also try to model sincere apologies when apologizing to their children and practice it with them regularly.\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ol>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>Cara Goodwin, PhD, is a licensed psychologist, a mother of four and the founder of \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Parenting Translator\u003c/a>, a nonprofit newsletter that turns scientific research into information that is accurate, relevant and useful for parents.\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/mindshift/63173/3-research-backed-tips-for-teaching-forgiveness-to-children","authors":["byline_mindshift_63173"],"categories":["mindshift_21504","mindshift_21385"],"tags":["mindshift_21767","mindshift_21768","mindshift_21898","mindshift_20568","mindshift_21706"],"featImg":"mindshift_63174","label":"mindshift"},"mindshift_62678":{"type":"posts","id":"mindshift_62678","meta":{"index":"posts_1716263798","site":"mindshift","id":"62678","score":null,"sort":[1698847946000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"what-to-do-when-gentle-parenting-fails","title":"What To Do When 'Gentle parenting' Fails","publishDate":1698847946,"format":"standard","headTitle":"What To Do When ‘Gentle parenting’ Fails | KQED","labelTerm":{"site":"mindshift"},"content":"\u003cp>\u003cem>This post was \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/p/when-gentle-parenting-doesnt-work\">originally published\u003c/a> by Parenting Translator. Sign up for \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">the newsletter\u003c/a> and follow Parenting Translator \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/parentingtranslator/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">on Instagram\u003c/a>.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Recently there has been a movement on social media and the parenting community more broadly \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/61399/what-parenting-research-really-says-about-timeouts-and-how-to-use-them\">to practice “gentle parenting.”\u003c/a> The exact definition of gentle parenting is not completely clear because it is not a term that has been studied in the research or used by psychologists in clinical practice. The term \u003ca href=\"https://sarahockwell-smith.com/\">gentle parenting\u003c/a> is credited to British author, Sarah Ockwell-Smith, who wrote several books on the topic. Gentle parenting has since become a buzzword and been co-opted by countless parenting influencers on social media. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Reassuringly though, most conceptualizations of gentle parenting seem to be based on principles that nearly every child psychologist or expert in child development would endorse such as respecting the child, taking the child’s perspective into account, empathizing with and validating your child and building the parent-child bond through positive experiences. However, where gentle parenting seems to deviate from research-backed parenting programs is in what to do when you encounter behavior problems even after you start using these more positive strategies or when it is not possible to use these positive parenting strategies. Most evidence-based parenting programs work on these gentle or positive parenting skills first and then move to other techniques that help parents to handle the behavior problems that inevitably come up even \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">after\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> working on these positive, relationship-building strategies. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">There are clearly some parents that gentle parenting works well for, or it wouldn’t have gained such a strong following. If gentle parenting is working for you, that is wonderful and there is no reason to change what you are doing. However, many parents report that gentle parenting does not work for their individual child and family. Research backs up this experience and suggests that gentle parenting strategies alone may not be effective for every situation and every child. Specifically, \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">researchers have found that gentle parenting techniques are \u003ca href=\"https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15295192.2018.1465304\">not as effective for more serious challenging behavior\u003c/a>, such as aggression, or for children that are oppositional or harder to manage\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Of course, we as parents would all \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">love\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> if simply validating and empathizing with our child’s emotions was all we needed to do — but in the real world it doesn’t seem to be so simple. It is easy to stay calm and validate your child’s emotions when you are calm and everything is going well but nearly all parents reach a point of overwhelm during which they just can’t be the gentle parent they want to be. In these moments, parents may be tempted to resort to harsh and ineffective parenting strategies, like yelling or spanking, instead of using research-backed strategies that are not technically “gentle parenting” but are less harsh and might actually work. Sometimes gentle parenting strategies may even result in a pattern of increasingly frequent episodes of challenging behavior, which makes gentle parenting more difficult because you as the parent eventually get worn down, or the parent-child relationship suffers due to a lack of positive interactions. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Real life may also get in the way. You can empathize with your child that they hate wearing socks but at some point you have to get them to put on their socks and shoes or you will be late for school. You may also have other children and responsibilities that make gentle parenting difficult. It is hard to “help your child to stop hitting” when you are breastfeeding a newborn or making dinner for your family. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Although the overarching principles of gentle parenting may resonate with many parents (I know they do for me), these same parents may still feel at a loss for how to apply these principles in the more difficult situations of parenting. So what happens when gentle parenting doesn’t seem to be working? Or maybe gentle parenting does work most of the time but doesn’t work in some situations, such as when either you or your child is having an off day? The strategies listed below are \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">not\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> recommended by most gentle parenting advocates but \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">are\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> consistently supported by research and included in most evidence-based parenting programs. If gentle parenting is working for you, of course, you do not \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">need\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> to use these strategies but if you are one of the many parents who feel like you might need something more, the following strategies may be helpful for you. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>What to do when gentle parenting isn’t working\u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>1. Use consequences:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Consequences seem to be a bad word in the gentle parenting sphere. Gentle parenting advocates suggest that the problem with consequences is that we want our children to be internally motivated to behave rather than responding only to externally imposed consequences, such as having an internal motivation to be kind rather than being kind simply to avoid losing iPad time. Yet it is important to keep in mind that all behavior has consequences regardless of whether you impose them or not. Imagine this situation: Your child takes a toy from their brother and you go over and empathize with them that it is hard to see your brother play with a toy you want but it still isn’t okay to take the toy. Your child then has the positive consequence of gaining access to the toy \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">and \u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">getting your attention. Whether it was your intention or not, you just increased the likelihood of them snatching a toy in the future. All humans respond to these laws of behavior. Even as an adult, you may consider yourself intrinsically motivated to be a conscientious person but if there were no penalties for speeding, would you always drive under the speed limit? And if you got a ticket would you be more careful about speeding in the future?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">In particular, research consistently finds that \u003c/span>\u003cb>\u003ci>logical consequences\u003c/i>\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> are related to improved \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://research.bangor.ac.uk/portal/files/23231845/Leijten_et_al_2019_JAACAP_Key_Parenting_Program_Components.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">behavior\u003c/span>\u003c/a> \u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">and\u003c/span>\u003c/i> \u003ca href=\"http://mapageweb.umontreal.ca/mageaug/Articles/Joussemet_Mageau_Koestner_2013.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">mental health\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> in children. Logical consequences are consequences that are related to the behavior so they make sense to children. Logical consequences can include any of the following: making them stop play to get an ice pack or a bandaid for another child that they hurt, leaving the playground when they aren’t following the rules, cleaning up a mess that they made before they are allowed to move on to the next activity, not having time to watch their favorite show because they didn’t clean their room when you asked, and losing access to a toy when they don’t use it appropriately. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://selfdeterminationtheory.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/2020_RobichaudMageauSoenens_TheRoleofLogical.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> finds that logical consequences may even be linked with \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">increased\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> intrinsic motivation to follow the rules. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"http://selfdeterminationtheory.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/2018_MageauLesssardEtal.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> also suggests that logical consequences are more effective than simply reminding children of the rule or limit. Although \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.jstor.org/stable/1131778\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> indicates that it is important for parents to remind children of the rule or limit and explain why it exists, research also suggests that parents sometimes need to use consequences alongside this type of verbal reasoning in order to positively impact behavior. For example, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.proquest.com/openview/fd4fe3695828fd077fb647bf034d35c2/1?pq-origsite=gscholar&cbl=25922\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">one study\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> found that this type of verbal reasoning only works to improve behavior and reduce aggression with toddlers if parents followed through on consequences some of the time (at least 10% of the time).\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>2. Selective attention/planned ignoring:\u003c/b> \u003ca href=\"https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/03004430.2019.1663184\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> finds that attention is an incredibly powerful parenting tool. To use your attention to improve your child’s behavior and make your day-to-day parenting a little easier, try to make a concerted effort to pay more attention to positive behaviors than negative behaviors. This is called “selective attention.” So if your child is whining to get your attention, make an effort to notice and praise whenever they use a “normal voice”. However, if simply noticing and praising the positive behavior doesn’t seem to be working, it is okay to ignore more minor misbehavior, such as whining, fussing, mild arguing or asking the same questions over and over again. Sometimes children and parents get into a bad cycle where negative behaviors get more attention than positive behaviors so to get out of this cycle, parents may have to both pay more attention to positive behavior \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">and\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> ignore some negative behavior.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When parents are only using more gentle parenting strategies like emotion coaching for challenging behavior, which is a \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10578-012-0322-1\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">great research-backed strategy\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, parents may unintentionally end up paying more attention to children when they are showing challenging behaviors than positive behaviors which then increases the frequency of the challenging behaviors and decreases the frequency of the positive behaviors. This could create a situation in which challenging behaviors become so frequent that the parent eventually loses patience and resorts to harsh and ineffective parenting strategies.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Most research-backed parenting programs, such as \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.parentchildinteractiontherapy.com/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Parent-Child Interaction Therapy \u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">(PCIT), advise parents to use ignoring for minor challenging behavior. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5530857/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> finds that this type of brief ignoring of minor behavior is associated with \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.researchgate.net/publication/224025331_Mothers'_Perceptions_of_Young_Children_Parenting_and_Young_Children's_Behavior_Problems\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">improved behavior\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> and \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6173420/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">reduced non-compliance\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> (translation: children being more likely to listen to parents). An important note about ignoring: Ideally parents should only ignore minor challenging behavior that has the goal of gaining attention. It doesn’t make sense to ignore any behavior related to emotional dysregulation, since your child may genuinely need your help with calming down, or a more serious behavior like aggression, since you need to step in to keep your child and others safe. It is also important to remember that you are ignoring the behavior and not the child. When the child stops the behavior, make sure to pay attention and notice and praise any positive behavior. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>3. Try timeout\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">: It seems that one of the core tenets of gentle parenting is that timeout is harmful to children and some gentle parenting advocates go so far as to equate timeout with physical abuse. Yet, \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/61399/what-parenting-research-really-says-about-timeouts-and-how-to-use-them\">research does not find any evidence for harm associated with timeout\u003c/a> and even finds that it may be linked with positive outcomes. Research also indicates that timeout is very effective in improving behavior. In particular, timeout may be helpful at times when a parent is at risk for using more harsh discipline strategies. For example, when you feel “triggered” as a parent, timeout can give you all a chance to calm down in order to effectively deal with a difficult situation. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.rch.org.au/uploadedFiles/Main/Content/ccch/Risk_factors_for_childhood_mental_health_symptoms_Bayer.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> consistently finds that harsh discipline tactics, such as yelling or physical punishment, are associated with worse mental health in children. If timeout gives you and your child a chance to calm down before you resort to these strategies, it might be the right choice for you and your family. The gentle parenting movement often recommends “time-in” as an alternative to timeout. Yet, research has yet to determine whether “time-in” is an effective strategy. If “time-in” works for you and your child, it doesn’t matter that it is not supported by research and you should continue to use it. However, if it is not working for you or your child, feel free to use another approach like timeout without guilt. If it does not feel right to you as a parent to use timeout, follow your instincts and don’t use it. Research does not indicate that you \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">must \u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">use timeout in order to be an effective parent. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>4. Take care of yourself before your children\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">: The advice of gentle parenting advocates sometimes doesn’t seem to acknowledge that parents are people too. We have feelings, needs and desires that matter. For example, many gentle parenting advocates suggest that parents should never tell their children when they make you feel sad or angry because this may cause codependency. Of course we do not want to use our feelings to manipulate or guilt our children, but we have no evidence that honestly sharing our emotions with our children has any negative impacts and we do have \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">some evidence that hiding your emotions from your child is \u003ca href=\"https://psycnet.apa.org/manuscript/2020-26571-001.pdf\">associated with more stress in children and strain on the parent-child relationship\u003c/a>\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. It is also impossible to help your children to regulate their emotions when you are feeling dysregulated, as is often the case when your children are dysregulated — \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4604752/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">particularly if you are an empathetic person\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Some gentle parenting proponents fail to mention that it is more than okay if you need to take care of your own emotional needs before your children’s. This might mean telling your children that you can’t play with them because you are too stressed or busy. It could be walking away from a situation and calming yourself down before you calm them down. It could be ignoring their demands until you have met your own needs. As parents we often put our children first, but being a good parent may also involve occasionally \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/62235/teens-are-overwhelmed-by-pressure-to-achieve-how-can-parents-restore-balance\">putting yourself first\u003c/a>. If you feel guilty about this then remember that even if you could be a person devoid of all emotions and the perfectly calm co-regulator for your child, you are setting up an unrealistic expectation for all future relationships — future friendships and spouses will never be able to completely put aside their own feelings in every scenario. It might cause guilt in the moment but remember that you are modeling \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/62649/mental-health-tools-for-tweens-by-phyllis-fagell\">healthy emotional regulation\u003c/a> when you take care of yourself first. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>Overall translation\u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research supports the core tenets of gentle parenting, which include validating and empathizing with your child’s emotions, enhancing the parent-child relationship, giving your child positive attention, assuming the best of your child and modeling for children the behavior you want to see. However, for some children and parents and in some situations, these strategies don’t seem to be effective. When gentle parenting doesn’t seem to be working, it does \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">not\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> mean that you have failed at being a gentle parent— only that it might be time to try something else. It is important to remember that these strategies have not been found to be effective for all families. When gentle parenting doesn’t seem to be working, parents should feel free to try using evidence-based strategies such as consequences, timeout, ignoring, and taking care of yourself before your child. Above all, it is important for parents to remember that gentle parenting is a trend and not a religion — feel free to take the parts you like and leave the rest.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>Cara Goodwin, PhD, is a licensed psychologist, a mother of four and the founder of \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Parenting Translator\u003c/a>, a nonprofit newsletter that turns scientific research into information that is accurate, relevant and useful for parents.\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"'Gentle parenting' seems to be based on sound child psychology principles, but these techniques may not be as effective for more serious challenging behavior.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1720104755,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":20,"wordCount":2486},"headData":{"title":"What To Do When 'Gentle parenting' Fails | KQED","description":"'Gentle parenting' seems to be based on sound psychology principles, but these techniques may not be as effective for more serious challenging behavior.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","socialDescription":"'Gentle parenting' seems to be based on sound psychology principles, but these techniques may not be as effective for more serious challenging behavior.","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"Article","headline":"What To Do When 'Gentle parenting' Fails","datePublished":"2023-11-01T07:12:26-07:00","dateModified":"2024-07-04T07:52:35-07:00","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}},"sticky":false,"nprByline":"Cara Goodwin, \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.org\" target=\"_blank\">The Parenting Translator\u003c/a>","excludeFromSiteSearch":"Include","showOnAuthorArchivePages":"No","articleAge":"0","path":"/mindshift/62678/what-to-do-when-gentle-parenting-fails","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cem>This post was \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/p/when-gentle-parenting-doesnt-work\">originally published\u003c/a> by Parenting Translator. Sign up for \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">the newsletter\u003c/a> and follow Parenting Translator \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/parentingtranslator/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">on Instagram\u003c/a>.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Recently there has been a movement on social media and the parenting community more broadly \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/61399/what-parenting-research-really-says-about-timeouts-and-how-to-use-them\">to practice “gentle parenting.”\u003c/a> The exact definition of gentle parenting is not completely clear because it is not a term that has been studied in the research or used by psychologists in clinical practice. The term \u003ca href=\"https://sarahockwell-smith.com/\">gentle parenting\u003c/a> is credited to British author, Sarah Ockwell-Smith, who wrote several books on the topic. Gentle parenting has since become a buzzword and been co-opted by countless parenting influencers on social media. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Reassuringly though, most conceptualizations of gentle parenting seem to be based on principles that nearly every child psychologist or expert in child development would endorse such as respecting the child, taking the child’s perspective into account, empathizing with and validating your child and building the parent-child bond through positive experiences. However, where gentle parenting seems to deviate from research-backed parenting programs is in what to do when you encounter behavior problems even after you start using these more positive strategies or when it is not possible to use these positive parenting strategies. Most evidence-based parenting programs work on these gentle or positive parenting skills first and then move to other techniques that help parents to handle the behavior problems that inevitably come up even \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">after\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> working on these positive, relationship-building strategies. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">There are clearly some parents that gentle parenting works well for, or it wouldn’t have gained such a strong following. If gentle parenting is working for you, that is wonderful and there is no reason to change what you are doing. However, many parents report that gentle parenting does not work for their individual child and family. Research backs up this experience and suggests that gentle parenting strategies alone may not be effective for every situation and every child. Specifically, \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">researchers have found that gentle parenting techniques are \u003ca href=\"https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15295192.2018.1465304\">not as effective for more serious challenging behavior\u003c/a>, such as aggression, or for children that are oppositional or harder to manage\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Of course, we as parents would all \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">love\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> if simply validating and empathizing with our child’s emotions was all we needed to do — but in the real world it doesn’t seem to be so simple. It is easy to stay calm and validate your child’s emotions when you are calm and everything is going well but nearly all parents reach a point of overwhelm during which they just can’t be the gentle parent they want to be. In these moments, parents may be tempted to resort to harsh and ineffective parenting strategies, like yelling or spanking, instead of using research-backed strategies that are not technically “gentle parenting” but are less harsh and might actually work. Sometimes gentle parenting strategies may even result in a pattern of increasingly frequent episodes of challenging behavior, which makes gentle parenting more difficult because you as the parent eventually get worn down, or the parent-child relationship suffers due to a lack of positive interactions. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Real life may also get in the way. You can empathize with your child that they hate wearing socks but at some point you have to get them to put on their socks and shoes or you will be late for school. You may also have other children and responsibilities that make gentle parenting difficult. It is hard to “help your child to stop hitting” when you are breastfeeding a newborn or making dinner for your family. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Although the overarching principles of gentle parenting may resonate with many parents (I know they do for me), these same parents may still feel at a loss for how to apply these principles in the more difficult situations of parenting. So what happens when gentle parenting doesn’t seem to be working? Or maybe gentle parenting does work most of the time but doesn’t work in some situations, such as when either you or your child is having an off day? The strategies listed below are \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">not\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> recommended by most gentle parenting advocates but \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">are\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> consistently supported by research and included in most evidence-based parenting programs. If gentle parenting is working for you, of course, you do not \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">need\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> to use these strategies but if you are one of the many parents who feel like you might need something more, the following strategies may be helpful for you. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>What to do when gentle parenting isn’t working\u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>1. Use consequences:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Consequences seem to be a bad word in the gentle parenting sphere. Gentle parenting advocates suggest that the problem with consequences is that we want our children to be internally motivated to behave rather than responding only to externally imposed consequences, such as having an internal motivation to be kind rather than being kind simply to avoid losing iPad time. Yet it is important to keep in mind that all behavior has consequences regardless of whether you impose them or not. Imagine this situation: Your child takes a toy from their brother and you go over and empathize with them that it is hard to see your brother play with a toy you want but it still isn’t okay to take the toy. Your child then has the positive consequence of gaining access to the toy \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">and \u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">getting your attention. Whether it was your intention or not, you just increased the likelihood of them snatching a toy in the future. All humans respond to these laws of behavior. Even as an adult, you may consider yourself intrinsically motivated to be a conscientious person but if there were no penalties for speeding, would you always drive under the speed limit? And if you got a ticket would you be more careful about speeding in the future?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">In particular, research consistently finds that \u003c/span>\u003cb>\u003ci>logical consequences\u003c/i>\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> are related to improved \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://research.bangor.ac.uk/portal/files/23231845/Leijten_et_al_2019_JAACAP_Key_Parenting_Program_Components.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">behavior\u003c/span>\u003c/a> \u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">and\u003c/span>\u003c/i> \u003ca href=\"http://mapageweb.umontreal.ca/mageaug/Articles/Joussemet_Mageau_Koestner_2013.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">mental health\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> in children. Logical consequences are consequences that are related to the behavior so they make sense to children. Logical consequences can include any of the following: making them stop play to get an ice pack or a bandaid for another child that they hurt, leaving the playground when they aren’t following the rules, cleaning up a mess that they made before they are allowed to move on to the next activity, not having time to watch their favorite show because they didn’t clean their room when you asked, and losing access to a toy when they don’t use it appropriately. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://selfdeterminationtheory.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/2020_RobichaudMageauSoenens_TheRoleofLogical.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> finds that logical consequences may even be linked with \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">increased\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> intrinsic motivation to follow the rules. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"http://selfdeterminationtheory.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/2018_MageauLesssardEtal.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> also suggests that logical consequences are more effective than simply reminding children of the rule or limit. Although \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.jstor.org/stable/1131778\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> indicates that it is important for parents to remind children of the rule or limit and explain why it exists, research also suggests that parents sometimes need to use consequences alongside this type of verbal reasoning in order to positively impact behavior. For example, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.proquest.com/openview/fd4fe3695828fd077fb647bf034d35c2/1?pq-origsite=gscholar&cbl=25922\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">one study\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> found that this type of verbal reasoning only works to improve behavior and reduce aggression with toddlers if parents followed through on consequences some of the time (at least 10% of the time).\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>2. Selective attention/planned ignoring:\u003c/b> \u003ca href=\"https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/03004430.2019.1663184\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> finds that attention is an incredibly powerful parenting tool. To use your attention to improve your child’s behavior and make your day-to-day parenting a little easier, try to make a concerted effort to pay more attention to positive behaviors than negative behaviors. This is called “selective attention.” So if your child is whining to get your attention, make an effort to notice and praise whenever they use a “normal voice”. However, if simply noticing and praising the positive behavior doesn’t seem to be working, it is okay to ignore more minor misbehavior, such as whining, fussing, mild arguing or asking the same questions over and over again. Sometimes children and parents get into a bad cycle where negative behaviors get more attention than positive behaviors so to get out of this cycle, parents may have to both pay more attention to positive behavior \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">and\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> ignore some negative behavior.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When parents are only using more gentle parenting strategies like emotion coaching for challenging behavior, which is a \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10578-012-0322-1\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">great research-backed strategy\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, parents may unintentionally end up paying more attention to children when they are showing challenging behaviors than positive behaviors which then increases the frequency of the challenging behaviors and decreases the frequency of the positive behaviors. This could create a situation in which challenging behaviors become so frequent that the parent eventually loses patience and resorts to harsh and ineffective parenting strategies.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Most research-backed parenting programs, such as \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.parentchildinteractiontherapy.com/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Parent-Child Interaction Therapy \u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">(PCIT), advise parents to use ignoring for minor challenging behavior. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5530857/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> finds that this type of brief ignoring of minor behavior is associated with \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.researchgate.net/publication/224025331_Mothers'_Perceptions_of_Young_Children_Parenting_and_Young_Children's_Behavior_Problems\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">improved behavior\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> and \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6173420/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">reduced non-compliance\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> (translation: children being more likely to listen to parents). An important note about ignoring: Ideally parents should only ignore minor challenging behavior that has the goal of gaining attention. It doesn’t make sense to ignore any behavior related to emotional dysregulation, since your child may genuinely need your help with calming down, or a more serious behavior like aggression, since you need to step in to keep your child and others safe. It is also important to remember that you are ignoring the behavior and not the child. When the child stops the behavior, make sure to pay attention and notice and praise any positive behavior. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>3. Try timeout\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">: It seems that one of the core tenets of gentle parenting is that timeout is harmful to children and some gentle parenting advocates go so far as to equate timeout with physical abuse. Yet, \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/61399/what-parenting-research-really-says-about-timeouts-and-how-to-use-them\">research does not find any evidence for harm associated with timeout\u003c/a> and even finds that it may be linked with positive outcomes. Research also indicates that timeout is very effective in improving behavior. In particular, timeout may be helpful at times when a parent is at risk for using more harsh discipline strategies. For example, when you feel “triggered” as a parent, timeout can give you all a chance to calm down in order to effectively deal with a difficult situation. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.rch.org.au/uploadedFiles/Main/Content/ccch/Risk_factors_for_childhood_mental_health_symptoms_Bayer.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> consistently finds that harsh discipline tactics, such as yelling or physical punishment, are associated with worse mental health in children. If timeout gives you and your child a chance to calm down before you resort to these strategies, it might be the right choice for you and your family. The gentle parenting movement often recommends “time-in” as an alternative to timeout. Yet, research has yet to determine whether “time-in” is an effective strategy. If “time-in” works for you and your child, it doesn’t matter that it is not supported by research and you should continue to use it. However, if it is not working for you or your child, feel free to use another approach like timeout without guilt. If it does not feel right to you as a parent to use timeout, follow your instincts and don’t use it. Research does not indicate that you \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">must \u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">use timeout in order to be an effective parent. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>4. Take care of yourself before your children\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">: The advice of gentle parenting advocates sometimes doesn’t seem to acknowledge that parents are people too. We have feelings, needs and desires that matter. For example, many gentle parenting advocates suggest that parents should never tell their children when they make you feel sad or angry because this may cause codependency. Of course we do not want to use our feelings to manipulate or guilt our children, but we have no evidence that honestly sharing our emotions with our children has any negative impacts and we do have \u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">some evidence that hiding your emotions from your child is \u003ca href=\"https://psycnet.apa.org/manuscript/2020-26571-001.pdf\">associated with more stress in children and strain on the parent-child relationship\u003c/a>\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. It is also impossible to help your children to regulate their emotions when you are feeling dysregulated, as is often the case when your children are dysregulated — \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4604752/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">particularly if you are an empathetic person\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Some gentle parenting proponents fail to mention that it is more than okay if you need to take care of your own emotional needs before your children’s. This might mean telling your children that you can’t play with them because you are too stressed or busy. It could be walking away from a situation and calming yourself down before you calm them down. It could be ignoring their demands until you have met your own needs. As parents we often put our children first, but being a good parent may also involve occasionally \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/62235/teens-are-overwhelmed-by-pressure-to-achieve-how-can-parents-restore-balance\">putting yourself first\u003c/a>. If you feel guilty about this then remember that even if you could be a person devoid of all emotions and the perfectly calm co-regulator for your child, you are setting up an unrealistic expectation for all future relationships — future friendships and spouses will never be able to completely put aside their own feelings in every scenario. It might cause guilt in the moment but remember that you are modeling \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/62649/mental-health-tools-for-tweens-by-phyllis-fagell\">healthy emotional regulation\u003c/a> when you take care of yourself first. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>Overall translation\u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research supports the core tenets of gentle parenting, which include validating and empathizing with your child’s emotions, enhancing the parent-child relationship, giving your child positive attention, assuming the best of your child and modeling for children the behavior you want to see. However, for some children and parents and in some situations, these strategies don’t seem to be effective. When gentle parenting doesn’t seem to be working, it does \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">not\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> mean that you have failed at being a gentle parent— only that it might be time to try something else. It is important to remember that these strategies have not been found to be effective for all families. When gentle parenting doesn’t seem to be working, parents should feel free to try using evidence-based strategies such as consequences, timeout, ignoring, and taking care of yourself before your child. Above all, it is important for parents to remember that gentle parenting is a trend and not a religion — feel free to take the parts you like and leave the rest.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>Cara Goodwin, PhD, is a licensed psychologist, a mother of four and the founder of \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Parenting Translator\u003c/a>, a nonprofit newsletter that turns scientific research into information that is accurate, relevant and useful for parents.\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/mindshift/62678/what-to-do-when-gentle-parenting-fails","authors":["byline_mindshift_62678"],"categories":["mindshift_21504","mindshift_21385"],"tags":["mindshift_21588","mindshift_21833","mindshift_20568","mindshift_21706","mindshift_20796","mindshift_381"],"featImg":"mindshift_62681","label":"mindshift"},"mindshift_62628":{"type":"posts","id":"mindshift_62628","meta":{"index":"posts_1716263798","site":"mindshift","id":"62628","score":null,"sort":[1697632218000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"how-parents-can-recognize-and-help-a-child-with-anxiety","title":"How Parents Can Recognize and Help a Child With Anxiety","publishDate":1697632218,"format":"standard","headTitle":"How Parents Can Recognize and Help a Child With Anxiety | KQED","labelTerm":{"site":"mindshift"},"content":"\u003cp>\u003cem>This post was \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/p/how-to-help-your-anxious-child\">originally published\u003c/a> by Parenting Translator. Sign up for \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">the newsletter\u003c/a> and follow Parenting Translator \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/parentingtranslator/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">on Instagram\u003c/a>.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Anxiety disorders are the most common mental health concern in children. The rates of children with anxiety have been growing dramatically. In 2021, a meta-analysis (translation: a study that combines data from all previous studies) found that \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapediatrics/fullarticle/2782796\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">20.5% of children worldwide have symptoms of anxiety\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">This post will help parents address many of your common questions on anxiety, including:\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">How do you know if your child has anxiety?\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">What are the common anxiety disorders in children?\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Is your child’s anxiety your “fault” as a parent?\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">What can you do to help your child?\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When and how should you seek professional help for your child?\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>How do you know if your child has anxiety?\u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">It is very normal for children to have fears that seem irrational or out of proportion to the danger actually posed, such as being afraid of the dark or worried about their parents leaving. However, most children seem to outgrow these fears with age and/or the fears do not interfere with the child’s ability to make friends, go to school, sleep or engage in other activities that are important to the child and the family. Parents should be concerned if the fear or anxiety does not seem typical for their age or if it starts to interfere with important activities for your child, such as sleep, school or important family activities.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Children with anxiety may show some of the following symptoms:\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Complaining of stomach or head problems\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Difficulty falling or staying asleep\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Difficulty concentrating\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Seeming overly tired or on edge\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Excessive worrying\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Avoiding certain things or activities\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Irritability or being more prone to anger\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">It is also important to note that anxiety can look different in children than in adults. For children, it is common that anxiety involves physical complaints (stomachache, headache or being tired or unable to sleep) or looks more like irritability and anger than nervousness. Young children also may not be able to describe their anxious thoughts or even accept that their thoughts are irrational or unreasonable. Older children may know their thoughts are unreasonable but not be able to control them or still feel anxious.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Anxiety in children can include any of the following diagnoses:\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003col>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Generalized anxiety disorder\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">: Children with generalized anxiety disorder show a general pattern of anxiety that is not specific to a particular object or event. They worry constantly about a variety of topics and show physical signs of anxiety, such as stomaches or a racing heart). Their anxiety is so distressing that it interferes with school and other activities.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Separation anxiety disorder:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Most children don’t like being separated from their primary caregivers but children with separation anxiety disorder show an extreme response to separation that is more intense or lasts longer than other children their age. They may refuse separation or worry that something may happen to the caregiver while they are away.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Social anxiety disorder:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Children with social anxiety disorder are very afraid of social situations. Older children may be very worried about being judged or viewed negatively by others. This could result in school avoidance or avoiding other types of social situations.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Panic disorder:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Panic disorder is diagnosed when children have regular, unpredictable panic attacks and have a persistent worry about having another one. A panic attack may involve a sudden feeling of heart pounding, trouble breathing, dizziness or feeling shaky and sweaty.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Specific phobias:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> A specific phobia is strong fear about a particular situation or object. These fears are so intense that they cause extreme distress and/or stop the child from going places or doing things they want to do. Common examples include going to the doctor or dentist, dogs, thunderstorms and vomit.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Selective mutism\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">: Selective mutism occurs when children have trouble talking or refuse to talk in situations that are new or uncomfortable for them. They do not have trouble communicating with familiar people in familiar situations but they only have trouble talking in anxiety-provoking situations.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ol>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>Is your child’s anxiety your “fault” as a parent?\u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">A\u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://weiszlab.fas.harvard.edu/files/jweisz/files/mcleod_wood_weisz_2007_clinc_psych_rev_anxiety.pdf\"> \u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">meta-analysis\u003c/span>\u003c/a> \u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">(translation: a study which combines data from all previous studies on the topic) found that only 4% of the variance in child anxiety is related to parenting. This means that most cases of childhood anxiety are \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">not \u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">caused or made worse by parenting. For most children, there is nothing you did or did not do to cause your child’s anxiety.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">However, just because parenting is unlikely to have caused anxiety, it does not mean that there is nothing you can do to help your child learn how to cope with anxiety or reduce their experience of anxiety.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>What can I do to help my child?\u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research finds that parents may play a clear role in helping their child to cope with anxiety. In fact, a \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30851397/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">recent study\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> found that training parents in effective ways to manage their child’s anxiety was just as effective in reducing anxiety symptoms as direct child therapy.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">So what can you do to help your anxious child, according to research?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003col>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Explain what anxiety is and take away the shame:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Explain to your child that there is nothing wrong with them and that anxiety itself is not “bad”— anxiety is there to protect them. You can describe their brain as being more likely to have “false alarms” meaning their brain is telling them there is danger when really they are safe. Explain that this happens to everyone and maybe even give an example of when it happened to you as a child or an adult.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>When your child is anxious, avoid any “accommodating behaviors”:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Be careful not to provide too much reassurance or help the child to avoid what makes them anxious. These are called “accommodating behaviors” by psychologists. Many well-intentioned parents of anxious children get in the pattern of shielding their child or avoiding anything that might trigger anxiety. Yet, we know from\u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3932435/\"> \u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> that avoiding anxiety-provoking events only makes anxiety worse and keeps the child reliant on their parents coping with the situation for them so they don’t learn skills for coping with their anxiety independently. It also reinforces that the situation is something they should be afraid of (since even their parents seem worried) and communicates to children that they are not capable of handling it on their own. Examples can include always speaking for a shy child, answering repetitive questions when a child is worried about something or avoiding events that might make your child anxious.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Validate and empathize with anxiety:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> At the same time, parents also do not want to ignore or invalidate their child’s anxiety. They should acknowledge that the child’s anxiety is “real” and is difficult for them, even if it seems irrational to the parent. For example: “I can tell that was really scary for you.”\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Encourage children to face their fears:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> After acknowledging and empathizing with their child’s anxiety, parents should then encourage them to gradually and gently face their fears. Parents should work with their children to take “baby steps” to facing their fears. For example: “This really makes you feel nervous but I know you can handle it.”\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Praise any “brave” behavior:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> When children successfully face their fears or even when they take a “baby step” toward facing their fears, parents should give children a lot of praise and positive attention. When doing this, parents should acknowledge that the child was anxious and that it was very difficult but they did it anyway, rather than invalidating their experience with something like “See, that wasn’t so bad!”\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Help your child learn to tolerate uncertainty:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Many children and adults with anxiety will try to avoid anxiety by reducing uncertainty in their environment. Help your child to face uncertainty and learn to tolerate uncertainty by gradually exposing them to more uncertainty in their environment. This could include not answering repetitive questions, packing them a slightly different snack every day, trying out new activities even if they are nervous, driving a different way to school or changing the order of a routine.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Encourage your child’s independence and ability to make choices on their own\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">: Allow your child the freedom to make mistakes, take risks and even make the “wrong” decision.\u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://weiszlab.fas.harvard.edu/files/jweisz/files/mcleod_wood_weisz_2007_clinc_psych_rev_anxiety.pdf\"> \u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> finds that parents who are overly controlling are more likely to have a child with anxiety. Although this parenting practice could reflect the parents’ anxiety themselves, it also makes sense that this behavior may hurt children’s confidence.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ol>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>When and how do I seek professional help?\u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Although parents can certainly help their children to cope with anxiety, it is also important to seek professional help when needed for childhood anxiety.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">How do you know if you need to seek help? Parents should seek help for any of the following reasons:\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Their child’s anxiety seems to be interfering with important functions such as sleep, eating, school or activities that they used to enjoy\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The strategies they are trying to manage their child’s anxiety don’t seem to be helping or are making the anxiety worse\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The child has been exposed to a traumatic situation which is causing anxiety\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The child’s anxiety seems to be getting worse over time\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">If you do think your child needs professional help, ask your pediatrician or school counselor for a referral to a psychologist, doctor or other mental health professional. They may conduct an evaluation, which will likely involve some questionnaires and talking to you and your child about their symptoms. After the evaluation, you will be told whether your child meets criteria for an anxiety disorder and what your treatment options might be.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Therapy and medication are very effective for treating childhood anxiety. In particular,\u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMoa0804633\"> \u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">a type of therapy called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) helps most children with anxiety show improvement in symptoms\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">.\u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10567-019-00303-2\"> \u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> also finds that therapy with “in-session exposure” (translation: exposing children to what makes them anxious during the therapy session) may help to improve anxiety symptoms. Parents can ask providers whether they have been trained in CBT and use exposure in their sessions in order to determine if their approach is backed by research.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>Cara Goodwin, PhD, is a licensed psychologist, a mother of four and the founder of \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Parenting Translator\u003c/a>, a nonprofit newsletter that turns scientific research into information that is accurate, relevant and useful for parents.\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"How do you know if your child has anxiety? How do you know whether to seek help? Child psychologist answers parent questions about anxiety disorders.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1720105003,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":18,"wordCount":1798},"headData":{"title":"How Parents Can Recognize and Help a Child With Anxiety | KQED","description":"How do you know if your child has anxiety? How do you know whether to seek help? Child psychologist answers parent questions about anxiety disorders.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","socialDescription":"How do you know if your child has anxiety? How do you know whether to seek help? Child psychologist answers parent questions about anxiety disorders.","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"Article","headline":"How Parents Can Recognize and Help a Child With Anxiety","datePublished":"2023-10-18T05:30:18-07:00","dateModified":"2024-07-04T07:56:43-07:00","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}},"sticky":false,"nprByline":"Cara Goodwin, \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.org\" target=\"_blank\">The Parenting Translator\u003c/a>","excludeFromSiteSearch":"Include","showOnAuthorArchivePages":"No","articleAge":"0","path":"/mindshift/62628/how-parents-can-recognize-and-help-a-child-with-anxiety","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cem>This post was \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/p/how-to-help-your-anxious-child\">originally published\u003c/a> by Parenting Translator. Sign up for \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">the newsletter\u003c/a> and follow Parenting Translator \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/parentingtranslator/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">on Instagram\u003c/a>.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Anxiety disorders are the most common mental health concern in children. The rates of children with anxiety have been growing dramatically. In 2021, a meta-analysis (translation: a study that combines data from all previous studies) found that \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapediatrics/fullarticle/2782796\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">20.5% of children worldwide have symptoms of anxiety\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">This post will help parents address many of your common questions on anxiety, including:\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">How do you know if your child has anxiety?\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">What are the common anxiety disorders in children?\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Is your child’s anxiety your “fault” as a parent?\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">What can you do to help your child?\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When and how should you seek professional help for your child?\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>How do you know if your child has anxiety?\u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">It is very normal for children to have fears that seem irrational or out of proportion to the danger actually posed, such as being afraid of the dark or worried about their parents leaving. However, most children seem to outgrow these fears with age and/or the fears do not interfere with the child’s ability to make friends, go to school, sleep or engage in other activities that are important to the child and the family. Parents should be concerned if the fear or anxiety does not seem typical for their age or if it starts to interfere with important activities for your child, such as sleep, school or important family activities.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Children with anxiety may show some of the following symptoms:\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Complaining of stomach or head problems\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Difficulty falling or staying asleep\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Difficulty concentrating\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Seeming overly tired or on edge\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Excessive worrying\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Avoiding certain things or activities\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Irritability or being more prone to anger\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">It is also important to note that anxiety can look different in children than in adults. For children, it is common that anxiety involves physical complaints (stomachache, headache or being tired or unable to sleep) or looks more like irritability and anger than nervousness. Young children also may not be able to describe their anxious thoughts or even accept that their thoughts are irrational or unreasonable. Older children may know their thoughts are unreasonable but not be able to control them or still feel anxious.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Anxiety in children can include any of the following diagnoses:\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003col>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Generalized anxiety disorder\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">: Children with generalized anxiety disorder show a general pattern of anxiety that is not specific to a particular object or event. They worry constantly about a variety of topics and show physical signs of anxiety, such as stomaches or a racing heart). Their anxiety is so distressing that it interferes with school and other activities.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Separation anxiety disorder:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Most children don’t like being separated from their primary caregivers but children with separation anxiety disorder show an extreme response to separation that is more intense or lasts longer than other children their age. They may refuse separation or worry that something may happen to the caregiver while they are away.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Social anxiety disorder:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Children with social anxiety disorder are very afraid of social situations. Older children may be very worried about being judged or viewed negatively by others. This could result in school avoidance or avoiding other types of social situations.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Panic disorder:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Panic disorder is diagnosed when children have regular, unpredictable panic attacks and have a persistent worry about having another one. A panic attack may involve a sudden feeling of heart pounding, trouble breathing, dizziness or feeling shaky and sweaty.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Specific phobias:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> A specific phobia is strong fear about a particular situation or object. These fears are so intense that they cause extreme distress and/or stop the child from going places or doing things they want to do. Common examples include going to the doctor or dentist, dogs, thunderstorms and vomit.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Selective mutism\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">: Selective mutism occurs when children have trouble talking or refuse to talk in situations that are new or uncomfortable for them. They do not have trouble communicating with familiar people in familiar situations but they only have trouble talking in anxiety-provoking situations.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ol>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>Is your child’s anxiety your “fault” as a parent?\u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">A\u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://weiszlab.fas.harvard.edu/files/jweisz/files/mcleod_wood_weisz_2007_clinc_psych_rev_anxiety.pdf\"> \u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">meta-analysis\u003c/span>\u003c/a> \u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">(translation: a study which combines data from all previous studies on the topic) found that only 4% of the variance in child anxiety is related to parenting. This means that most cases of childhood anxiety are \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">not \u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">caused or made worse by parenting. For most children, there is nothing you did or did not do to cause your child’s anxiety.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">However, just because parenting is unlikely to have caused anxiety, it does not mean that there is nothing you can do to help your child learn how to cope with anxiety or reduce their experience of anxiety.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>What can I do to help my child?\u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research finds that parents may play a clear role in helping their child to cope with anxiety. In fact, a \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30851397/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">recent study\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> found that training parents in effective ways to manage their child’s anxiety was just as effective in reducing anxiety symptoms as direct child therapy.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">So what can you do to help your anxious child, according to research?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003col>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Explain what anxiety is and take away the shame:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Explain to your child that there is nothing wrong with them and that anxiety itself is not “bad”— anxiety is there to protect them. You can describe their brain as being more likely to have “false alarms” meaning their brain is telling them there is danger when really they are safe. Explain that this happens to everyone and maybe even give an example of when it happened to you as a child or an adult.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>When your child is anxious, avoid any “accommodating behaviors”:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Be careful not to provide too much reassurance or help the child to avoid what makes them anxious. These are called “accommodating behaviors” by psychologists. Many well-intentioned parents of anxious children get in the pattern of shielding their child or avoiding anything that might trigger anxiety. Yet, we know from\u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3932435/\"> \u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> that avoiding anxiety-provoking events only makes anxiety worse and keeps the child reliant on their parents coping with the situation for them so they don’t learn skills for coping with their anxiety independently. It also reinforces that the situation is something they should be afraid of (since even their parents seem worried) and communicates to children that they are not capable of handling it on their own. Examples can include always speaking for a shy child, answering repetitive questions when a child is worried about something or avoiding events that might make your child anxious.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Validate and empathize with anxiety:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> At the same time, parents also do not want to ignore or invalidate their child’s anxiety. They should acknowledge that the child’s anxiety is “real” and is difficult for them, even if it seems irrational to the parent. For example: “I can tell that was really scary for you.”\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Encourage children to face their fears:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> After acknowledging and empathizing with their child’s anxiety, parents should then encourage them to gradually and gently face their fears. Parents should work with their children to take “baby steps” to facing their fears. For example: “This really makes you feel nervous but I know you can handle it.”\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Praise any “brave” behavior:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> When children successfully face their fears or even when they take a “baby step” toward facing their fears, parents should give children a lot of praise and positive attention. When doing this, parents should acknowledge that the child was anxious and that it was very difficult but they did it anyway, rather than invalidating their experience with something like “See, that wasn’t so bad!”\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Help your child learn to tolerate uncertainty:\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Many children and adults with anxiety will try to avoid anxiety by reducing uncertainty in their environment. Help your child to face uncertainty and learn to tolerate uncertainty by gradually exposing them to more uncertainty in their environment. This could include not answering repetitive questions, packing them a slightly different snack every day, trying out new activities even if they are nervous, driving a different way to school or changing the order of a routine.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Encourage your child’s independence and ability to make choices on their own\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">: Allow your child the freedom to make mistakes, take risks and even make the “wrong” decision.\u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://weiszlab.fas.harvard.edu/files/jweisz/files/mcleod_wood_weisz_2007_clinc_psych_rev_anxiety.pdf\"> \u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> finds that parents who are overly controlling are more likely to have a child with anxiety. Although this parenting practice could reflect the parents’ anxiety themselves, it also makes sense that this behavior may hurt children’s confidence.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ol>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>When and how do I seek professional help?\u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Although parents can certainly help their children to cope with anxiety, it is also important to seek professional help when needed for childhood anxiety.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">How do you know if you need to seek help? Parents should seek help for any of the following reasons:\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Their child’s anxiety seems to be interfering with important functions such as sleep, eating, school or activities that they used to enjoy\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The strategies they are trying to manage their child’s anxiety don’t seem to be helping or are making the anxiety worse\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The child has been exposed to a traumatic situation which is causing anxiety\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The child’s anxiety seems to be getting worse over time\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">If you do think your child needs professional help, ask your pediatrician or school counselor for a referral to a psychologist, doctor or other mental health professional. They may conduct an evaluation, which will likely involve some questionnaires and talking to you and your child about their symptoms. After the evaluation, you will be told whether your child meets criteria for an anxiety disorder and what your treatment options might be.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Therapy and medication are very effective for treating childhood anxiety. In particular,\u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMoa0804633\"> \u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">a type of therapy called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) helps most children with anxiety show improvement in symptoms\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">.\u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10567-019-00303-2\"> \u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> also finds that therapy with “in-session exposure” (translation: exposing children to what makes them anxious during the therapy session) may help to improve anxiety symptoms. Parents can ask providers whether they have been trained in CBT and use exposure in their sessions in order to determine if their approach is backed by research.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>Cara Goodwin, PhD, is a licensed psychologist, a mother of four and the founder of \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Parenting Translator\u003c/a>, a nonprofit newsletter that turns scientific research into information that is accurate, relevant and useful for parents.\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/mindshift/62628/how-parents-can-recognize-and-help-a-child-with-anxiety","authors":["byline_mindshift_62628"],"categories":["mindshift_21280","mindshift_21385"],"tags":["mindshift_20589","mindshift_21827","mindshift_20865","mindshift_20568","mindshift_21706","mindshift_21749","mindshift_381"],"featImg":"mindshift_62629","label":"mindshift"},"mindshift_62400":{"type":"posts","id":"mindshift_62400","meta":{"index":"posts_1716263798","site":"mindshift","id":"62400","score":null,"sort":[1695117638000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"how-important-is-homework-and-how-much-should-parents-help","title":"How Important Is Homework, And How Much Should Parents Help?","publishDate":1695117638,"format":"standard","headTitle":"How Important Is Homework, And How Much Should Parents Help? | KQED","labelTerm":{"site":"mindshift"},"content":"\u003cp>\u003cem>A version of this post was \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/p/how-important-is-homework\">originally published\u003c/a> by Parenting Translator. Sign up for \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">the newsletter\u003c/a> and follow Parenting Translator \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/parentingtranslator/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">on Instagram\u003c/a>.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">In recent years, homework has become a very \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/54536/is-homework-valuable-depends-on-the-grade-teachers-share-their-approaches\">hot topic\u003c/a>. Many parents and educators have raised concerns about homework and questioned how effective it is in enhancing students’ learning. There are also concerns that students may be getting too much homework, which ultimately interferes with quality family time and \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/60253/play-is-crucial-for-middle-schoolers-too\">opportunities for physical activity and play\u003c/a>. Research suggests that these concerns may be valid. For example, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"http://businessstatistics.us/cte-capstone-homework-and.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">one study\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> reported that elementary school students, on average, are assigned three times\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> the recommended amount of homework.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">So what does the research say? What are the potential risks and benefits of homework, and how much is too much?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>Academic benefits\u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">First, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"http://classtap.pbworks.com/f/Does+Homework+Improve+Achievement.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> finds that homework is associated with higher scores on academic standardized tests for middle and high school students, but \u003c/span>not \u003ca href=\"https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Harris-Cooper/publication/247522586_Using_Research_to_Answer_Practical_Questions_About_Homework/links/63e3957ec002331f7262531b/Using-Research-to-Answer-Practical-Questions-About-Homework.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">elementary school students\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. A\u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/00220973.2020.1861422\"> \u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">recent experimental study\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> in Romania found some benefit for a small amount of writing homework in elementary students but not math homework. Yet, interestingly, this positive impact only occurred when students were given a moderate amount of homework (about 20 minutes on average).\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>Non-academic benefits\u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The goal of homework is not simply to improve academic skills. Research finds that homework may have some non-academic benefits, such as \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0092656616302446\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">building responsibility\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/document?repid=rep1&type=pdf&doi=221554b32125b18c98bda95d408cdb90a3236005\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">time management skills, and task persistence\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.jstor.org/stable/27542451\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Homework\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> may also \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://web.archive.org/web/20170812233101id_/http://libres.uncg.edu/ir/uncg/f/D_Demo_Family_1998.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">increase parents’ involvement\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> in their children’s schooling. Yet, too much homework may also have some negative impacts on non-academic skills by reducing opportunities for \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/142/3/e20182058/38649/The-Power-of-Play-A-Pediatric-Role-in-Enhancing\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">free play\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, which is essential for the development of language, cognitive, self-regulation and social-emotional skills. Homework may also \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://bmcresnotes.biomedcentral.com/counter/pdf/10.1186/s13104-018-3292-y.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">interfere with physical activity\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> and too much homework is associated with \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://bmcpediatr.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12887-021-02892-w\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">an increased risk for being overweight\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. As with the research on academic benefits, this research also suggests that homework may be beneficial when it is minimal.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>What is the “right” amount of homework?\u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research suggests that \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"http://classtap.pbworks.com/f/Does+Homework+Improve+Achievement.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">homework\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> should not exceed 1.5 to 2.5 hours per night for high school students and no more than one hour per night for middle school students. Homework for elementary school students should be minimal and assigned with the aim of building self-regulation and independent work skills. Any more than this and homework may no longer have a positive impact. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.nea.org/professional-excellence/student-engagement/tools-tips/how-much-homework-too-much\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">National Education Association\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> recommends 10 minutes of homework per grade and there is also\u003c/span> \u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">some experimental evidence that backs this up.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>Overall translation\u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research finds that homework provides some academic benefit for middle and high school students but is less beneficial for elementary school students. Research suggests that homework should be none or minimal for elementary students, less than one hour per night for middle school students, and less than 1.5 to 2.5 hours for high school students. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>What can parents do?\u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://web.archive.org/web/20221115083537id_/https://phrepo.phbern.ch/1018/1/The_Need_to_Distinguish_Between_Quantity_and_Quality_in_Research_on_Parental_Involvement_The_Example_of_Parental_Help_With_Homework.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> finds that parental help with homework is beneficial but that it matters more \u003cem>how\u003c/em>\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> the parent is helping rather than \u003cem>how often\u003c/em>\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> the parent is helping.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">So how should parents help with homework, according to the research? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003col>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Focus on providing general monitoring, guidance and encouragement, but allow children to generate answers on their own and complete their homework as independently as possible\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. Specifically, \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/52393/how-parents-can-create-a-nightly-homework-ritual-for-reluctant-children\">be present\u003c/a> while they are completing homework to help them to understand the directions, be available to answer simple questions, or praise and acknowledge their effort and hard work. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0361476X99910366\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> shows that allowing children \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0361476X11000439\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">more autonomy\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> in completing homework may benefit their academic skills.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Only provide help when your child asks for it and step away whenever possible.\u003c/b> \u003ca href=\"https://deepblue.lib.umich.edu/bitstream/handle/2027.42/108320/bjep12039.pdf?sequence\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> finds that too much parental involvement or intrusive and controlling involvement with homework is associated with \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://web.archive.org/web/20221115083537id_/https://phrepo.phbern.ch/1018/1/The_Need_to_Distinguish_Between_Quantity_and_Quality_in_Research_on_Parental_Involvement_The_Example_of_Parental_Help_With_Homework.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">worse academic performance\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. \u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Help your children to create structure and develop some routines that help your child to independently complete their homework\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. Have a regular time and place for homework that is free from distractions and has all of the materials they need within arm’s reach. Help your child to create a checklist for homework tasks. Create rules for homework with your child. Help children to develop strategies for increasing their own self-motivation. For example, developing their own reward system or creating a homework schedule with breaks for fun activities. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://eric.ed.gov/?id=EJ1054517\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> finds that providing this type of structure and responsiveness is related to improved academic skills.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Set specific rules around homework.\u003c/b> \u003ca href=\"https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.3102/0034654308325185\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> finds an association between parents setting rules around homework and academic performance. \u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Help your child to view homework as an opportunity to learn and improve skills.\u003c/b> \u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1041608011000409\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Parents\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> who view homework as a learning opportunity (that is, a “mastery orientation”) rather than something that they must get “right” or complete successfully to obtain a higher grade (that is, a “performance orientation”) are more likely to have children with the same attitudes. \u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Encourage your child to persist in challenging assignments and emphasize difficult assignments as opportunities to grow\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/document?repid=rep1&type=pdf&doi=646524b6163a46720005099da775dbbced5745de\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> finds that this attitude is associated with student success. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Mareike-Kunter-2/publication/44951983_Homework_Works_if_Homework_Quality_Is_High_Using_Multilevel_Modeling_to_Predict_the_Development_of_Achievement_in_Mathematics/links/552e688f0cf2acd38cb94e51/Homework-Works-if-Homework-Quality-Is-High-Using-Multilevel-Modeling-to-Predict-the-Development-of-Achievement-in-Mathematics.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> also indicates that more challenging homework is associated with enhanced academic performance.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Stay calm and positive during homework.\u003c/b> \u003ca href=\"https://psycnet.apa.org/buy/2005-02477-012\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> shows that mothers showing positive emotions while helping with homework may improve children’s motivation in homework.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Praise your child’s hard work and effort during homework.\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> This type of \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.reed.edu/psychology/motivation/assets/downloads/Haimovitz_Corpus_2011.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">praise\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> is likely to increase motivation. In addition, research finds that putting more effort into homework may be associated with enhanced development of \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0092656616302446\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">conscientiousness \u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">in children.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Communicate with your child and the teacher about any problems your child has with homework and the teacher’s learning goals.\u003c/b> \u003ca href=\"https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Nancy-Hill-3/publication/24399801_Parental_Involvement_in_Middle_School_A_Meta-Analytic_Assessment_of_the_Strategies_That_Promote_Achievement/links/54637ef40cf2cb7e9da96676/Parental-Involvement-in-Middle-School-A-Meta-Analytic-Assessment-of-the-Strategies-That-Promote-Achievement.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> finds that open communication about homework is associated with increased academic performance.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ol>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>Cara Goodwin, PhD, is a licensed psychologist, a mother of three and the founder of \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Parenting Translator\u003c/a>, a nonprofit newsletter that turns scientific research into information that is accurate, relevant and useful for parents.\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"Research finds that homework provides some academic benefit for middle and high school students but is less beneficial for elementary school students.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1720105038,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":13,"wordCount":1001},"headData":{"title":"How Important Is Homework, And How Much Should Parents Help? | KQED","description":"Homework provides some academic benefit for middle and high school students but is less beneficial in elementary school.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"mindshift_62403","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","socialDescription":"Homework provides some academic benefit for middle and high school students but is less beneficial in elementary school.","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"Article","headline":"How Important Is Homework, And How Much Should Parents Help?","datePublished":"2023-09-19T03:00:38-07:00","dateModified":"2024-07-04T07:57:18-07:00","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}},"sticky":false,"nprByline":"Cara Goodwin, \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.org\" target=\"_blank\">The Parenting Translator\u003c/a>","excludeFromSiteSearch":"Include","showOnAuthorArchivePages":"No","articleAge":"0","path":"/mindshift/62400/how-important-is-homework-and-how-much-should-parents-help","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cem>A version of this post was \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/p/how-important-is-homework\">originally published\u003c/a> by Parenting Translator. Sign up for \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">the newsletter\u003c/a> and follow Parenting Translator \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/parentingtranslator/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">on Instagram\u003c/a>.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">In recent years, homework has become a very \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/54536/is-homework-valuable-depends-on-the-grade-teachers-share-their-approaches\">hot topic\u003c/a>. Many parents and educators have raised concerns about homework and questioned how effective it is in enhancing students’ learning. There are also concerns that students may be getting too much homework, which ultimately interferes with quality family time and \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/60253/play-is-crucial-for-middle-schoolers-too\">opportunities for physical activity and play\u003c/a>. Research suggests that these concerns may be valid. For example, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"http://businessstatistics.us/cte-capstone-homework-and.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">one study\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> reported that elementary school students, on average, are assigned three times\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> the recommended amount of homework.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">So what does the research say? What are the potential risks and benefits of homework, and how much is too much?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>Academic benefits\u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">First, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"http://classtap.pbworks.com/f/Does+Homework+Improve+Achievement.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> finds that homework is associated with higher scores on academic standardized tests for middle and high school students, but \u003c/span>not \u003ca href=\"https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Harris-Cooper/publication/247522586_Using_Research_to_Answer_Practical_Questions_About_Homework/links/63e3957ec002331f7262531b/Using-Research-to-Answer-Practical-Questions-About-Homework.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">elementary school students\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. A\u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/00220973.2020.1861422\"> \u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">recent experimental study\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> in Romania found some benefit for a small amount of writing homework in elementary students but not math homework. Yet, interestingly, this positive impact only occurred when students were given a moderate amount of homework (about 20 minutes on average).\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>Non-academic benefits\u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The goal of homework is not simply to improve academic skills. Research finds that homework may have some non-academic benefits, such as \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0092656616302446\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">building responsibility\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/document?repid=rep1&type=pdf&doi=221554b32125b18c98bda95d408cdb90a3236005\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">time management skills, and task persistence\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.jstor.org/stable/27542451\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Homework\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> may also \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://web.archive.org/web/20170812233101id_/http://libres.uncg.edu/ir/uncg/f/D_Demo_Family_1998.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">increase parents’ involvement\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> in their children’s schooling. Yet, too much homework may also have some negative impacts on non-academic skills by reducing opportunities for \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/142/3/e20182058/38649/The-Power-of-Play-A-Pediatric-Role-in-Enhancing\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">free play\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, which is essential for the development of language, cognitive, self-regulation and social-emotional skills. Homework may also \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://bmcresnotes.biomedcentral.com/counter/pdf/10.1186/s13104-018-3292-y.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">interfere with physical activity\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> and too much homework is associated with \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://bmcpediatr.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12887-021-02892-w\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">an increased risk for being overweight\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. As with the research on academic benefits, this research also suggests that homework may be beneficial when it is minimal.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>What is the “right” amount of homework?\u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research suggests that \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"http://classtap.pbworks.com/f/Does+Homework+Improve+Achievement.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">homework\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> should not exceed 1.5 to 2.5 hours per night for high school students and no more than one hour per night for middle school students. Homework for elementary school students should be minimal and assigned with the aim of building self-regulation and independent work skills. Any more than this and homework may no longer have a positive impact. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.nea.org/professional-excellence/student-engagement/tools-tips/how-much-homework-too-much\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">National Education Association\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> recommends 10 minutes of homework per grade and there is also\u003c/span> \u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">some experimental evidence that backs this up.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>Overall translation\u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research finds that homework provides some academic benefit for middle and high school students but is less beneficial for elementary school students. Research suggests that homework should be none or minimal for elementary students, less than one hour per night for middle school students, and less than 1.5 to 2.5 hours for high school students. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>What can parents do?\u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://web.archive.org/web/20221115083537id_/https://phrepo.phbern.ch/1018/1/The_Need_to_Distinguish_Between_Quantity_and_Quality_in_Research_on_Parental_Involvement_The_Example_of_Parental_Help_With_Homework.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> finds that parental help with homework is beneficial but that it matters more \u003cem>how\u003c/em>\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> the parent is helping rather than \u003cem>how often\u003c/em>\u003c/span>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> the parent is helping.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">So how should parents help with homework, according to the research? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003col>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Focus on providing general monitoring, guidance and encouragement, but allow children to generate answers on their own and complete their homework as independently as possible\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. Specifically, \u003ca href=\"https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/52393/how-parents-can-create-a-nightly-homework-ritual-for-reluctant-children\">be present\u003c/a> while they are completing homework to help them to understand the directions, be available to answer simple questions, or praise and acknowledge their effort and hard work. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0361476X99910366\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> shows that allowing children \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0361476X11000439\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">more autonomy\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> in completing homework may benefit their academic skills.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Only provide help when your child asks for it and step away whenever possible.\u003c/b> \u003ca href=\"https://deepblue.lib.umich.edu/bitstream/handle/2027.42/108320/bjep12039.pdf?sequence\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> finds that too much parental involvement or intrusive and controlling involvement with homework is associated with \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://web.archive.org/web/20221115083537id_/https://phrepo.phbern.ch/1018/1/The_Need_to_Distinguish_Between_Quantity_and_Quality_in_Research_on_Parental_Involvement_The_Example_of_Parental_Help_With_Homework.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">worse academic performance\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. \u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Help your children to create structure and develop some routines that help your child to independently complete their homework\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. Have a regular time and place for homework that is free from distractions and has all of the materials they need within arm’s reach. Help your child to create a checklist for homework tasks. Create rules for homework with your child. Help children to develop strategies for increasing their own self-motivation. For example, developing their own reward system or creating a homework schedule with breaks for fun activities. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://eric.ed.gov/?id=EJ1054517\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> finds that providing this type of structure and responsiveness is related to improved academic skills.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Set specific rules around homework.\u003c/b> \u003ca href=\"https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.3102/0034654308325185\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> finds an association between parents setting rules around homework and academic performance. \u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Help your child to view homework as an opportunity to learn and improve skills.\u003c/b> \u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1041608011000409\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Parents\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> who view homework as a learning opportunity (that is, a “mastery orientation”) rather than something that they must get “right” or complete successfully to obtain a higher grade (that is, a “performance orientation”) are more likely to have children with the same attitudes. \u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Encourage your child to persist in challenging assignments and emphasize difficult assignments as opportunities to grow\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/document?repid=rep1&type=pdf&doi=646524b6163a46720005099da775dbbced5745de\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> finds that this attitude is associated with student success. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Mareike-Kunter-2/publication/44951983_Homework_Works_if_Homework_Quality_Is_High_Using_Multilevel_Modeling_to_Predict_the_Development_of_Achievement_in_Mathematics/links/552e688f0cf2acd38cb94e51/Homework-Works-if-Homework-Quality-Is-High-Using-Multilevel-Modeling-to-Predict-the-Development-of-Achievement-in-Mathematics.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> also indicates that more challenging homework is associated with enhanced academic performance.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Stay calm and positive during homework.\u003c/b> \u003ca href=\"https://psycnet.apa.org/buy/2005-02477-012\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> shows that mothers showing positive emotions while helping with homework may improve children’s motivation in homework.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Praise your child’s hard work and effort during homework.\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> This type of \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.reed.edu/psychology/motivation/assets/downloads/Haimovitz_Corpus_2011.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">praise\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> is likely to increase motivation. In addition, research finds that putting more effort into homework may be associated with enhanced development of \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0092656616302446\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">conscientiousness \u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">in children.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Communicate with your child and the teacher about any problems your child has with homework and the teacher’s learning goals.\u003c/b> \u003ca href=\"https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Nancy-Hill-3/publication/24399801_Parental_Involvement_in_Middle_School_A_Meta-Analytic_Assessment_of_the_Strategies_That_Promote_Achievement/links/54637ef40cf2cb7e9da96676/Parental-Involvement-in-Middle-School-A-Meta-Analytic-Assessment-of-the-Strategies-That-Promote-Achievement.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> finds that open communication about homework is associated with increased academic performance.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ol>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>Cara Goodwin, PhD, is a licensed psychologist, a mother of three and the founder of \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Parenting Translator\u003c/a>, a nonprofit newsletter that turns scientific research into information that is accurate, relevant and useful for parents.\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/mindshift/62400/how-important-is-homework-and-how-much-should-parents-help","authors":["byline_mindshift_62400"],"categories":["mindshift_21504","mindshift_21385"],"tags":["mindshift_21110","mindshift_563","mindshift_21706"],"featImg":"mindshift_62403","label":"mindshift"},"mindshift_61995":{"type":"posts","id":"mindshift_61995","meta":{"index":"posts_1716263798","site":"mindshift","id":"61995","score":null,"sort":[1689170897000]},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"can-young-children-learn-from-educational-apps","title":"Can Young Children Learn From Educational Apps?","publishDate":1689170897,"format":"standard","headTitle":"Can Young Children Learn From Educational Apps? | KQED","labelTerm":{"site":"mindshift"},"content":"\u003cp>\u003cem>A version of this post was \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/p/can-young-children-actually-learn\">originally published\u003c/a> by Parenting Translator. Sign up for \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">the newsletter\u003c/a> and follow Parenting Translator \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/parentingtranslator/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">on Instagram\u003c/a>.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Parents often hear about the dangers of screen time for children, but rarely does there seem to be a distinction among \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">different types\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> of screen time. In particular, apps on smartphones or touchscreen devices for children seem to be growing in popularity, even among young children. In fact, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8200401/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> finds that 90% of children aged 2 to 3 years use a touchscreen device and that infants and toddlers on average spend 10 to 45 min per day on touchscreen devices.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Many apps claim to be “educational” and some apps are used as part of the curriculum in elementary school classrooms and even in early childhood education centers. Yet, apps for young children are largely unregulated and the number of choices alone may be extremely overwhelming for parents. Can young children actually learn from this technology? Are apps more educational than TV shows and movies? And if parents allow their children to engage with apps, which apps are best?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>Can children actually learn from apps?\u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research broadly finds that young children can learn from interactive apps, but it remains unclear the extent to which this learning is transferable to the real world. A \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2018.02580/full\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">recent meta-analysis\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> based on 36 studies involving 4,206 participants (translation: a meta-analysis combines data from previous studies on a topic which allows you to get a consistent picture across all studies) found that most studies involving children five years and younger show an overall positive impact of touchscreen apps on learning. However, the meta-analysis also found that the findings were mixed. To explain these different findings, the researchers identified several different features of the studies that may have impacted learning, including: \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Age\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">: Older children were more likely to learn from apps than younger children.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Content of the app\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">: Children were more likely to learn STEM-related concepts, such as math, from apps than non-STEM-related concepts, such as reading. \u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Comparison group\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">: Children seemed to learn more from apps when learning from apps was compared to a non-learning task rather than a learning task in another modality, such as on a computer or in person. In other words, while this research provides strong evidence that children can learn from apps, it doesn’t provide as strong of evidence that they learn better from apps than from other modalities, although overall the researchers did find that apps provide an advantage to learning over traditional classroom teaching, mouse-based computers, paper, physical objects, and passively watching something on a touchscreen device. \u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">A 2020 \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article-split/145/1/e20191579/36974/Apps-As-Learning-Tools-A-Systematic-Review\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">systematic review\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> (translation: a review that uses a specific method for finding and summarizing all previous research on a topic) in the journal \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Pediatrics\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> also found that children under 6 years old can learn from interactive apps. Again, the researchers found that apps seem to be particularly effective in teaching math skills. They also found some evidence that apps may improve phonics skills, teach science facts and improve executive functioning, although in these areas the findings were more mixed or limited studies were available). The researchers even found that in some cases learning from interactive apps exceeded learning from traditional modes of instruction in the classroom. The review failed to find evidence that apps improved social communication skills, although more research is needed on this topic. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2016.01108/full?\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> also suggests that interactive apps may be linked with improved motor skills. Specifically, toddlers who are exposed to touchscreens at younger ages have more advanced fine motor skills. However, this effect was only found for children who were actively interacting with the touchscreen, not simply watching videos. No relationship, either positive or negative, was found between touchscreen use and gross motor or language development.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>Do children transfer learning from apps to the real world?\u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Although we have consistent evidence that young children can learn from apps, it remains unclear the extent to which they can transfer this knowledge to the real world. It is well documented that young children (particularly children under 3) do not learn as well from video as they do from real life interactions and do not transfer learning from video to real life, which is referred to as the \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0022096522001837#b0005\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“video deficit\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">.” However, there is some evidence that children \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">can\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> transfer learning \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/desc.12430\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">when screen time is more interactive such as in FaceTime or video chat.\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> This raises the possibility that younger children may be more likely to transfer learning from apps to the real world (assuming the app has an interactive feature). \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2821208/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> finds that 15-month-olds can learn how to do a simple task in an interactive app but they have difficulty transferring that learning to the real world. They also have difficulty applying what they learned in the real world to an app. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://elp.georgetown.edu/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/JECPMoser-et-al-2015.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Further research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> found that even 2.5 to 3 year olds do not transfer learning from an app to the real world (or from the real world to an app). \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2017.01586/full\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Another study\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> found that 4- to 6-year-olds, but not 3-year-olds, transferred learning on problem-solving tasks from an app to real life and learned just as well from an app as from a physical demonstration. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">However, research finds that younger children may be able to transfer learning from an app when an adult engages in the app with them and provides help and support as needed. For example, when the task with 15-month-olds was repeated with an adult helping, the \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2016.01264/full\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">researchers\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> found that the toddlers showed improved transfer of learning and were \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">19 times \u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">more likely to transfer learning if a parent used “high interactional quality” (meaning the parent was structuring the task for the child, using a lot of different language, and providing warmth and encouragement). \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://srcd.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/am-pdf/10.1111/cdev.12683\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> also finds that more subtle involvement from adults helps 2.5- to 3-year-olds to transfer learning. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://drive.google.com/file/d/1eZ27n7hSHshiHO-3IIDnGZ7duCU3bd_r/view\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> finds that even 5- and 6-year-olds show enhanced learning when an adult engages in an app with them. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>Do children learn better from apps or from videos?\u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">So the research suggests that children have trouble transferring learning from apps to the real world, just like they do with videos, but does the interactive nature of apps help to enhance the quality of learning, suggesting that parents may want to choose apps over passive TV watching?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2018.02580/full\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> is mixed with some studies finding enhanced learning from apps and some studies finding enhanced learning from videos. Although \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Heather-Kirkorian-2/publication/299986332_Touch_or_Watch_to_Learn_Toddlers'_Object_Retrieval_Using_Contingent_and_Noncontingent_Video/links/570b12c008aea66081376187/Touch-or-Watch-to-Learn-Toddlers-Object-Retrieval-Using-Contingent-and-Noncontingent-Video.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">some research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> finds that the interactive nature of apps versus passive shows enhanced learning, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2016.01377/full\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">other research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> finds that the interactive features of apps may interfere with learning because it may overtax children’s attention and executive functioning skills, making it difficult for them to learn and interact with the app at the same time. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Heather-Kirkorian-2/publication/299986332_Touch_or_Watch_to_Learn_Toddlers'_Object_Retrieval_Using_Contingent_and_Noncontingent_Video/links/570b12c008aea66081376187/Touch-or-Watch-to-Learn-Toddlers-Object-Retrieval-Using-Contingent-and-Noncontingent-Video.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> also suggests that the interactive nature of the app should be related to what the app is trying to teach rather than irrelevant to the teaching (for example, the toddler must touch where they believe an object is hidden rather than touch anywhere on the screen). There is also \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2017.00578/full?&utm_source=Email_to_authors_&utm_medium=Email&utm_content=T1_11.5e1_author&utm_campaign=Email_publication&field=&journalName=Frontiers_in_Psychology&id=220771\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">some evidence\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> that girls may learn more from certain ways of interacting with apps while boys learn more from watching. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>How can parents identify the most educational apps? \u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">So, research finds that it is possible for children to learn from apps and that engaging in apps with them may enhance the transfer of learning to the real world, but does this mean they can learn from just any app? How can you determine which apps are truly educational?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">A \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://kathyhirshpasek.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/9/2021/03/How-educational-are-educational-apps-for-young-children-App-store-content-analysis-using-the-Four-Pillars-of-Learning-framework.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">recent study\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> evaluated 124 popular “educational” apps and found that 58% of popular apps were “low quality” in terms of how they promote learning.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The researchers evaluated apps based on the \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"http://hubscher.org/roland/courses/hf765/readings/hirsh-pasek.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“Four Pillars” of early learning\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, which include:\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003col>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Active learning\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> – whether the app requires critical thinking or intellectual effort versus a simple cause-and-effect\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Engagement in the learning process\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> – whether the interactive features enhance or distract from learning, including whether the app has unnecessary visual and sound effects and distracting ads\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Meaningful learning\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> – how relevant what the child is learning in the app is to the child’s life and existing knowledge\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Social interaction\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> – the extent to which the app encourages children to interact with characters in the app or with their caregivers while engaging with the app\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ol>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The researchers found that the following apps received the highest scores in terms of promoting learning: \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">My Food – Nutrition for Kids\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Daniel Tiger’s Stop & Go Potty\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Toca Life (Neighborhood, School and Hospital)\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">LEGO DUPLO Town\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Zoombinis\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The following apps also received relatively high scores: \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Bible App for Kids: Read the Nativity Story\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Farming Simulator 18\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Toca Lab: Elements\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Toca Hair Salon 3\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Toca Life: World\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Toca Kitchen 2\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">My Very Hungry Caterpillar AR\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Melody Jams\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Sago Mini Holiday Trucks and Diggers\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Sago Mini Friends\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Stellarium Mobile Sky Map\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Star Walk – Night Sky Guide: Planets and Stars Map\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Brio World – Railway\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Noggin Preschool\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">SkyView Lite\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">A recent \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article-split/145/1/e20191579/36974/Apps-As-Learning-Tools-A-Systematic-Review\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">systematic review\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> of educational apps for young children also found that children can learn from the following apps: \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Measure That Animal\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Math Shelf\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Know Number Free\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Endless Alphabet\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Letter School\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">First Word Sampler\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Word Wall HD\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Pocket Phonics\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Skills Builder Spelling\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Phonic Monster 1\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">ABC Touch and Learn\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Bee Sees\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Kindergarten Lite\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Starfall\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Super Why\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/17482798.2020.1844776\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> has also found no difference in the educational quality of free versus paid apps, so don’t feel like you need to spend a fortune to get high-quality apps for your child. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>Overall translation\u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research suggests that children can learn from apps yet it is less clear whether they can actually transfer this learning to the real world. However, not all apps are truly educational, and parents, caregivers and teachers should carefully evaluate apps based on the research-backed principles described above before allowing young children to engage with them. It is also important to note that this research does not address whether there are any negative impacts of learning from apps over learning in “real life” such as potential disruptions to sleep, myopia (nearsightedness which may be developed due to excessive screen time), a lack of physical activity, or the potential “addictive” nature of some of these apps. Excessive use of even the most “educational” apps will likely have negative impacts. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">This research also provides the following tips for parents related to apps: \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003col>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>If possible, wait until your child is at least 3 years old before trying educational apps. \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research finds that although children younger than 3 can learn within an app, they may be less likely to apply this knowledge to the real world. \u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Engage in apps with your child.\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Provide some help and assistance without doing the task for them. Help the child to understand the instructions and pay attention to relevant features.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When engaging with apps together, \u003c/span>\u003cb>use a lot of language to help to explain the task to the child. \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Offer frequent praise and encouragement.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Choose apps that require the child to think critically\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> rather than simple cause-and-effect, such as an app in which they have to choose the correct answer rather than an app in which they simply press a button and an animation plays.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Avoid apps with irrelevant or excessive features or advertisements \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">that are not related to the learning process.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Look for apps that teach children skills that they can easily transfer to real life \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">and that are related to their existing knowledge, such as an app that teaches about letters of the alphabet.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Choose apps that encourage your child to interact with the characters in the app\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> and/or with you or other caregivers while engaging with the app.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ol>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>Cara Goodwin, PhD, is a licensed psychologist, a mother of three and the founder of \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Parenting Translator\u003c/a>, a nonprofit newsletter that turns scientific research into information that is accurate, relevant and useful for parents.\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\n","blocks":[],"excerpt":"Research suggests that children can learn from apps, but it is less clear whether they can actually transfer this learning to the real world.","status":"publish","parent":0,"modified":1720105069,"stats":{"hasAudio":false,"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"hasPolis":false,"paragraphCount":23,"wordCount":2046},"headData":{"title":"Can Young Children Learn From Educational Apps? | KQED","description":"Research suggests that children can learn from apps, but it is less clear whether they can actually transfer this learning to the real world.","ogTitle":"","ogDescription":"","ogImgId":"","twTitle":"","twDescription":"","twImgId":"","socialDescription":"Research suggests that children can learn from apps, but it is less clear whether they can actually transfer this learning to the real world.","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"Article","headline":"Can Young Children Learn From Educational Apps?","datePublished":"2023-07-12T07:08:17-07:00","dateModified":"2024-07-04T07:57:49-07:00","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}},"sticky":false,"nprByline":"Cara Goodwin, \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.org\" target=\"_blank\">The Parenting Translator\u003c/a>","excludeFromSiteSearch":"Include","showOnAuthorArchivePages":"No","articleAge":"0","path":"/mindshift/61995/can-young-children-learn-from-educational-apps","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cem>A version of this post was \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/p/can-young-children-actually-learn\">originally published\u003c/a> by Parenting Translator. Sign up for \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">the newsletter\u003c/a> and follow Parenting Translator \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/parentingtranslator/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">on Instagram\u003c/a>.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Parents often hear about the dangers of screen time for children, but rarely does there seem to be a distinction among \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">different types\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> of screen time. In particular, apps on smartphones or touchscreen devices for children seem to be growing in popularity, even among young children. In fact, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8200401/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> finds that 90% of children aged 2 to 3 years use a touchscreen device and that infants and toddlers on average spend 10 to 45 min per day on touchscreen devices.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Many apps claim to be “educational” and some apps are used as part of the curriculum in elementary school classrooms and even in early childhood education centers. Yet, apps for young children are largely unregulated and the number of choices alone may be extremely overwhelming for parents. Can young children actually learn from this technology? Are apps more educational than TV shows and movies? And if parents allow their children to engage with apps, which apps are best?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>Can children actually learn from apps?\u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research broadly finds that young children can learn from interactive apps, but it remains unclear the extent to which this learning is transferable to the real world. A \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2018.02580/full\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">recent meta-analysis\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> based on 36 studies involving 4,206 participants (translation: a meta-analysis combines data from previous studies on a topic which allows you to get a consistent picture across all studies) found that most studies involving children five years and younger show an overall positive impact of touchscreen apps on learning. However, the meta-analysis also found that the findings were mixed. To explain these different findings, the researchers identified several different features of the studies that may have impacted learning, including: \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Age\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">: Older children were more likely to learn from apps than younger children.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Content of the app\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">: Children were more likely to learn STEM-related concepts, such as math, from apps than non-STEM-related concepts, such as reading. \u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Comparison group\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">: Children seemed to learn more from apps when learning from apps was compared to a non-learning task rather than a learning task in another modality, such as on a computer or in person. In other words, while this research provides strong evidence that children can learn from apps, it doesn’t provide as strong of evidence that they learn better from apps than from other modalities, although overall the researchers did find that apps provide an advantage to learning over traditional classroom teaching, mouse-based computers, paper, physical objects, and passively watching something on a touchscreen device. \u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">A 2020 \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article-split/145/1/e20191579/36974/Apps-As-Learning-Tools-A-Systematic-Review\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">systematic review\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> (translation: a review that uses a specific method for finding and summarizing all previous research on a topic) in the journal \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Pediatrics\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> also found that children under 6 years old can learn from interactive apps. Again, the researchers found that apps seem to be particularly effective in teaching math skills. They also found some evidence that apps may improve phonics skills, teach science facts and improve executive functioning, although in these areas the findings were more mixed or limited studies were available). The researchers even found that in some cases learning from interactive apps exceeded learning from traditional modes of instruction in the classroom. The review failed to find evidence that apps improved social communication skills, although more research is needed on this topic. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2016.01108/full?\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> also suggests that interactive apps may be linked with improved motor skills. Specifically, toddlers who are exposed to touchscreens at younger ages have more advanced fine motor skills. However, this effect was only found for children who were actively interacting with the touchscreen, not simply watching videos. No relationship, either positive or negative, was found between touchscreen use and gross motor or language development.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>Do children transfer learning from apps to the real world?\u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Although we have consistent evidence that young children can learn from apps, it remains unclear the extent to which they can transfer this knowledge to the real world. It is well documented that young children (particularly children under 3) do not learn as well from video as they do from real life interactions and do not transfer learning from video to real life, which is referred to as the \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0022096522001837#b0005\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“video deficit\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">.” However, there is some evidence that children \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">can\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> transfer learning \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/desc.12430\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">when screen time is more interactive such as in FaceTime or video chat.\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> This raises the possibility that younger children may be more likely to transfer learning from apps to the real world (assuming the app has an interactive feature). \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2821208/\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> finds that 15-month-olds can learn how to do a simple task in an interactive app but they have difficulty transferring that learning to the real world. They also have difficulty applying what they learned in the real world to an app. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://elp.georgetown.edu/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/JECPMoser-et-al-2015.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Further research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> found that even 2.5 to 3 year olds do not transfer learning from an app to the real world (or from the real world to an app). \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2017.01586/full\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Another study\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> found that 4- to 6-year-olds, but not 3-year-olds, transferred learning on problem-solving tasks from an app to real life and learned just as well from an app as from a physical demonstration. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">However, research finds that younger children may be able to transfer learning from an app when an adult engages in the app with them and provides help and support as needed. For example, when the task with 15-month-olds was repeated with an adult helping, the \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2016.01264/full\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">researchers\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> found that the toddlers showed improved transfer of learning and were \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">19 times \u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">more likely to transfer learning if a parent used “high interactional quality” (meaning the parent was structuring the task for the child, using a lot of different language, and providing warmth and encouragement). \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://srcd.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/am-pdf/10.1111/cdev.12683\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> also finds that more subtle involvement from adults helps 2.5- to 3-year-olds to transfer learning. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://drive.google.com/file/d/1eZ27n7hSHshiHO-3IIDnGZ7duCU3bd_r/view\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> finds that even 5- and 6-year-olds show enhanced learning when an adult engages in an app with them. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>Do children learn better from apps or from videos?\u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">So the research suggests that children have trouble transferring learning from apps to the real world, just like they do with videos, but does the interactive nature of apps help to enhance the quality of learning, suggesting that parents may want to choose apps over passive TV watching?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2018.02580/full\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> is mixed with some studies finding enhanced learning from apps and some studies finding enhanced learning from videos. Although \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Heather-Kirkorian-2/publication/299986332_Touch_or_Watch_to_Learn_Toddlers'_Object_Retrieval_Using_Contingent_and_Noncontingent_Video/links/570b12c008aea66081376187/Touch-or-Watch-to-Learn-Toddlers-Object-Retrieval-Using-Contingent-and-Noncontingent-Video.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">some research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> finds that the interactive nature of apps versus passive shows enhanced learning, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2016.01377/full\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">other research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> finds that the interactive features of apps may interfere with learning because it may overtax children’s attention and executive functioning skills, making it difficult for them to learn and interact with the app at the same time. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Heather-Kirkorian-2/publication/299986332_Touch_or_Watch_to_Learn_Toddlers'_Object_Retrieval_Using_Contingent_and_Noncontingent_Video/links/570b12c008aea66081376187/Touch-or-Watch-to-Learn-Toddlers-Object-Retrieval-Using-Contingent-and-Noncontingent-Video.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> also suggests that the interactive nature of the app should be related to what the app is trying to teach rather than irrelevant to the teaching (for example, the toddler must touch where they believe an object is hidden rather than touch anywhere on the screen). There is also \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2017.00578/full?&utm_source=Email_to_authors_&utm_medium=Email&utm_content=T1_11.5e1_author&utm_campaign=Email_publication&field=&journalName=Frontiers_in_Psychology&id=220771\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">some evidence\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> that girls may learn more from certain ways of interacting with apps while boys learn more from watching. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>How can parents identify the most educational apps? \u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">So, research finds that it is possible for children to learn from apps and that engaging in apps with them may enhance the transfer of learning to the real world, but does this mean they can learn from just any app? How can you determine which apps are truly educational?\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">A \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://kathyhirshpasek.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/9/2021/03/How-educational-are-educational-apps-for-young-children-App-store-content-analysis-using-the-Four-Pillars-of-Learning-framework.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">recent study\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> evaluated 124 popular “educational” apps and found that 58% of popular apps were “low quality” in terms of how they promote learning.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The researchers evaluated apps based on the \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"http://hubscher.org/roland/courses/hf765/readings/hirsh-pasek.pdf\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“Four Pillars” of early learning\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, which include:\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003col>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Active learning\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> – whether the app requires critical thinking or intellectual effort versus a simple cause-and-effect\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Engagement in the learning process\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> – whether the interactive features enhance or distract from learning, including whether the app has unnecessary visual and sound effects and distracting ads\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Meaningful learning\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> – how relevant what the child is learning in the app is to the child’s life and existing knowledge\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Social interaction\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> – the extent to which the app encourages children to interact with characters in the app or with their caregivers while engaging with the app\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ol>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The researchers found that the following apps received the highest scores in terms of promoting learning: \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">My Food – Nutrition for Kids\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Daniel Tiger’s Stop & Go Potty\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Toca Life (Neighborhood, School and Hospital)\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">LEGO DUPLO Town\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Zoombinis\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The following apps also received relatively high scores: \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Bible App for Kids: Read the Nativity Story\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Farming Simulator 18\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Toca Lab: Elements\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Toca Hair Salon 3\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Toca Life: World\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Toca Kitchen 2\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">My Very Hungry Caterpillar AR\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Melody Jams\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Sago Mini Holiday Trucks and Diggers\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Sago Mini Friends\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Stellarium Mobile Sky Map\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Star Walk – Night Sky Guide: Planets and Stars Map\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Brio World – Railway\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Noggin Preschool\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">SkyView Lite\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">A recent \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article-split/145/1/e20191579/36974/Apps-As-Learning-Tools-A-Systematic-Review\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">systematic review\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> of educational apps for young children also found that children can learn from the following apps: \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cul>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Measure That Animal\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Math Shelf\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Know Number Free\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Endless Alphabet\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Letter School\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">First Word Sampler\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Word Wall HD\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Pocket Phonics\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Skills Builder Spelling\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Phonic Monster 1\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">ABC Touch and Learn\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Bee Sees\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Kindergarten Lite\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Starfall\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Super Why\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ul>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/17482798.2020.1844776\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> has also found no difference in the educational quality of free versus paid apps, so don’t feel like you need to spend a fortune to get high-quality apps for your child. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>Overall translation\u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research suggests that children can learn from apps yet it is less clear whether they can actually transfer this learning to the real world. However, not all apps are truly educational, and parents, caregivers and teachers should carefully evaluate apps based on the research-backed principles described above before allowing young children to engage with them. It is also important to note that this research does not address whether there are any negative impacts of learning from apps over learning in “real life” such as potential disruptions to sleep, myopia (nearsightedness which may be developed due to excessive screen time), a lack of physical activity, or the potential “addictive” nature of some of these apps. Excessive use of even the most “educational” apps will likely have negative impacts. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">This research also provides the following tips for parents related to apps: \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003col>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>If possible, wait until your child is at least 3 years old before trying educational apps. \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research finds that although children younger than 3 can learn within an app, they may be less likely to apply this knowledge to the real world. \u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Engage in apps with your child.\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Provide some help and assistance without doing the task for them. Help the child to understand the instructions and pay attention to relevant features.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">When engaging with apps together, \u003c/span>\u003cb>use a lot of language to help to explain the task to the child. \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Offer frequent praise and encouragement.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Choose apps that require the child to think critically\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> rather than simple cause-and-effect, such as an app in which they have to choose the correct answer rather than an app in which they simply press a button and an animation plays.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Avoid apps with irrelevant or excessive features or advertisements \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">that are not related to the learning process.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Look for apps that teach children skills that they can easily transfer to real life \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">and that are related to their existing knowledge, such as an app that teaches about letters of the alphabet.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Choose apps that encourage your child to interact with the characters in the app\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> and/or with you or other caregivers while engaging with the app.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ol>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>Cara Goodwin, PhD, is a licensed psychologist, a mother of three and the founder of \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Parenting Translator\u003c/a>, a nonprofit newsletter that turns scientific research into information that is accurate, relevant and useful for parents.\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/mindshift/61995/can-young-children-learn-from-educational-apps","authors":["byline_mindshift_61995"],"categories":["mindshift_21504","mindshift_20788","mindshift_21385"],"tags":["mindshift_134","mindshift_20720","mindshift_20568","mindshift_21706","mindshift_290","mindshift_20816"],"featImg":"mindshift_61998","label":"mindshift"},"mindshift_61681":{"type":"posts","id":"mindshift_61681","meta":{"index":"posts_1716263798","site":"mindshift","id":"61681","score":null,"sort":[1684934999000]},"parent":0,"labelTerm":{"site":"mindshift"},"blocks":[],"publishDate":1684934999,"format":"standard","title":"Does delaying kindergarten benefit children academically and socially?","headTitle":"Does delaying kindergarten benefit children academically and socially? | KQED","content":"\u003cp>\u003cem>A version of this post was \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/p/redshirting-should-your-child-delay\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">originally published\u003c/a> by Parenting Translator. Sign up for \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">the newsletter\u003c/a> and follow Parenting Translator \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/parentingtranslator/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">on Instagram\u003c/a>.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“Redshirting” or choosing to delay kindergarten for a year is a popular topic for parents of young children at this time of year. Increased awareness of redshirting may have roots in Malcolm Gladwell’s bestselling book \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Outliers, \u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">published in 2008. In the book, Gladwell points to data on the birthdays of Canadian Hockey League players to argue that being relatively older than peers provides an advantage, and he extends this argument to children’s success in school. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">At the same time that ideas from \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Outliers \u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">have circulated, kindergarten has become \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.chalkbeat.org/2019/1/24/21106584/kindergarten-classes-are-getting-more-academic-new-research-says-the-kids-are-all-right\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">increasingly academic\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> and rigorous. For parents of children born near the kindergarten cutoff date, the pressure to redshirt feels intense. My oldest child has a late August birthday, which is right around the cutoff date for her school. However, it seemed like all of the children with summer birthdays (and even April/May birthdays) were waiting an additional year to start kindergarten. Granted, she would have entered kindergarten in 2020, and the possibility of remote learning caused many parents to delay school entry that year. Yet in talking to school administrators and teachers and other parents about this decision, the message I heard over and over again was that the choice was obvious. It seemed that everyone I talked to had wholeheartedly accepted that delaying kindergarten was the best choice for all children. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>The research on redshirting\u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">So does research actually find that redshirting will provide an academic and/or social advantage for children? The answer may be more complicated than you think.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research on redshirting suggests that it is associated with a \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0885200616300795\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">small academic advantage\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> (that is, higher academic test scores), and test scores seem to increase \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0272775705000117?casa_token=jkdnhUgcJOgAAAAA:id9bg37cBYG50j6qE3c8HNAIEHXj9CBC7byLiWiJRuJtSizu-NdzHu7HV-ZkUwq-2qsdqnZy\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">at a greater rate in first and second grade.\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> However, this effect may \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.igi-global.com/chapter/early-school-outcomes-for-children-who-delay-kindergarten-entry/262416\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">begin to fade\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> as early as the end of first grade. This research is all correlational, meaning we do not know whether it is redshirting that causes these advantages or if it is simply associated with advantages. The parents that choose to redshirt their children are often different from the parents who do not — most notably \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.3102/0162373713482764\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">they are often the families that can afford to make this choice\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Some research studies eliminate the problem of parent choice by looking at the impact of age for children within the same grade, such as comparing students with summer birthdays to students in the same grade with fall birthdays. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.3200/JOER.99.4.212-217\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> finds that students who are relatively older than other children in their grade score higher on math and science tests and, although these differences decrease over the years, they are still present to some extent in eighth grade. Other research finds that children who are relatively older show \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.nber.org/system/files/working_papers/w21610/w21610.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">less hyperactivity and inattention\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> and \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"http://www2.ne.su.se/paper/wp13_07.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">greater educational attainment\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> (translation: getting farther in school). However, the impact on educational attainment is greatly reduced when schools do not engage in early tracking (translation: sending children to different schools based on academic abilities in elementary school). Research also shows that children who are older than their classmates are \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2009-04640-022\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">more likely to be in gifted education and less likely to be in special education\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. These positive impacts seem to extend to high school and beyond. Children who are older than their classmates are also \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.aeaweb.org/articles?id=10.1257/app.20140323\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">less likely to drop out of high school, less likely to commit a felony\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, and less likely to experience a \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.nber.org/system/files/working_papers/w13969/w13969.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">teenage pregnancy\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. Children that are older than their classmates are also \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2009-04640-022\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">more likely to attend a four-year college than younger students\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Yet, it is important to note that this line of research only involves associations. Further research is needed in order to conclude that redshirting actually causes any of these positive outcomes. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>When might parents want to avoid redshirting? \u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Are there any situations in which parents might want to avoid redshirting? Research suggests that when your child has an identified disability, a suspected disability or even if you are just concerned that they may need some extra help in school, delaying school entry may be associated with \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0885200616300795\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">worse academic performance\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, because it would delay access to free essential services through the public school system, such as speech therapy and learning support. This short delay may have a big\u003c/span> \u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">impact as \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://srcd.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1467-8624.1994.tb00777.x\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> finds that services before age 5 are more effective in improving a child’s long-term outcome than services after age 5. Research also finds a \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0361476X15000442\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">negative impact of redshirting for children with more severe ADHD\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> and no impact for \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/EJ865608.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">children with learning disabilities\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>Is redshirting more important for boys than girls? \u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">In any discussion of redshirting, it is commonly assumed that boys in particular benefit from redshirting. Is there any research to back this up? \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.brookings.edu/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/0319_school_disadvantage_isaacs.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> does find that girls are more likely to be behaviorally ready for kindergarten than boys. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://direct.mit.edu/edfp/article/11/3/225/10250/First-in-the-Class-Age-and-the-Education\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> also suggests that boys may not do as well as girls with having higher-achieving classmates. Not surprisingly, boys are \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.3102/0162373713482764\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">more likely to be redshirted\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> than girls.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>Does this research also apply to repeating a grade or holding children back?\u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Interestingly, outcomes for children who repeat a grade or are “held back” are very different from those who are redshirted. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://nces.ed.gov/programs/digest/d17/tables/dt17_225.90.asp?referer=raceindicators\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">One million students are held back\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> each year in the United States. This practice particularly impacts ethnic minorities, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://nces.ed.gov/programs/raceindicators/indicator_rda.asp\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">with retention rates of 2.7% for Black students and 1.9% for Hispanic students\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, compared to 1.7% for white students. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">A \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.researchgate.net/publication/279888141_Meta-analysis_of_Grade_Retention_Research_Implications_for_Practice_in_the_21st_Century\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">large body of research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> has indicated that \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2006-23116-002\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">holding a child back in school\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> is associated with \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.researchgate.net/publication/233229828_Grade_Retention_of_Students_During_Grades_K-8_Predicts_Reading_Achievement_and_Progress_During_Secondary_Schooling\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">poorer academic outcomes\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> and little social-emotional benefit. While some studies have found \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2010-02314-011\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">short-term social and academic benefits\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> of grade retention, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S004727271730097X\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">many of these effects fade after a few years\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.nber.org/papers/w13514\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Grade retention is also associated\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> with \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2002-13996-008\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">an increased likelihood of dropping out of high school\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> and \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.3102/0162373709354334?journalCode=epaa\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">a decreased likelihood of finishing college\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. Retained students are also \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2007-13838-002\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">more likely to be aggressive in adolescence\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.3102/0162373709354334?journalCode=epaa\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Grade retention after third grade\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> seems to have a more detrimental effect, perhaps because it has a greater impact on self-esteem as children get older.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">As with the research on redshirting, these studies only found associations between grade retention and these negative impacts, not causation. Regardless, it is important to discuss this research with redshirting because some parents assume that they can push their child ahead to kindergarten and then repeat a later grade if they are struggling. Yet, research suggests that the cons of this approach may outweigh any potential pros. In addition, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.researchgate.net/publication/232540499_Age_Appropriateness_and_Motivation_Engagement_and_Performance_in_High_School_Effects_of_Age_Within_Cohort_Grade_Retention_and_Delayed_School_Entry\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">redshirting reduces the risk for grade retention\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, suggesting that this may be another benefit for redshirting. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Based on this research, most clinicians and educators advise parents to avoid holding children back in a grade unless there is no other option. If your child’s school is pushing for it, present them with the research and see if you can discuss other possible options. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>But is it fair?\u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">For most families, delaying kindergarten means paying for full-time child care or delaying a stay-at-home parent from re-entering the workforce for an additional year. This is simply not an option for most families. Redshirting as a practice may also increase the ever-widening gap between students from high-income and low-income families, as only high-income families may be able to afford this option when wanting to give their child an advantage. Yet there is also \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.nber.org/papers/w13663\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> showing that having older classmates may actually improve the performance of younger classmates, suggesting that the practice of redshirting is at least not harmful to students who do not make this choice. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>How do you know whether your child is ready for kindergarten? \u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The following may help you to decide whether your child is actually ready for kindergarten: \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003col>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Consider not only their academic skills but also their social-emotional and self-regulation skills.\u003c/b> \u003ca href=\"https://ajph.aphapublications.org/doi/full/10.2105/AJPH.2015.302630\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Social skills when entering kindergarten\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> have been found to be related to success as an adult, including the likelihood of graduating college and gaining employment. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/feduc.2019.00127/full\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">More advanced self-regulation skills allow children to “catch up”\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> even if they start behind their peers academically. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0885200614001045\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Self-regulation is also associated with improved academic performance \u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Consult with your child’s preschool teacher or director if possible.\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Your child’s teacher should have a good idea of how their skills compare to their peers and whether they have the classroom engagement skills necessary for kindergarten. \u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Speak with your child’s pediatrician.\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Your child’s pediatrician can give you their expert opinion as to whether your child is developmentally and physically ready for kindergarten. \u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Visit both possible classroom settings\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. Gain a better understanding of the expectations that will be placed on your child in kindergarten versus the expectations in preschool. Try to determine which setting best fits your child’s current ability level. \u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ol>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>Overall translation\u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Delaying kindergarten for a year may provide a small advantage to children. However, if you suspect your child has special needs or a disability, you may want to avoid redshirting and start school as soon as possible to get them the services they need. Once students enter K-12 schooling, parents may want to avoid holding their children back since the negative impacts may outweigh the positive. Parents may also want to consider that redshirting could increase the ever-widening gap between low-income and high-income children. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Most importantly, parents should consider their own individual child in this decision. Does your child seem to gravitate more to younger or older children? Does your child tend to compare themselves to their peers and get upset when they fall behind? Does your child seem to benefit from older role models around or do they seem to benefit from serving in a “leader” role for younger children? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Parents may also want to consider the school environment. Is the school more academic or play-based? Do they require children to sit for longer periods of time or are there movement breaks? Is redshirting typical for children around the cutoff date in this school system? Does the school compare children to others or use a tracking system for gifted education? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Sometimes this choice does not involve any of the academic advantages discussed above. In August, I will give birth to my third child with a summer birthday and currently I am planning to redshirt all three of these children (a choice I feel very privileged to have). What is really driving my decision is not the academic benefits but the opportunity to have another year with my children in my home. Whatever choice parents make they should feel confident in doing what feels right for their individual child and family.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>Cara Goodwin, PhD, is a licensed psychologist, a mother of three and the founder of \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/p/redshirting-should-your-child-delay\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Parenting Translator\u003c/a>, a nonprofit newsletter that turns scientific research into information that is accurate, relevant and useful for parents.\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\n","stats":{"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"hasAudio":false,"hasPolis":false,"wordCount":1857,"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"paragraphCount":24},"modified":1688826325,"excerpt":"The Parenting Translator breaks down the research behind delaying kindergarten and how to know if your child is ready for kindergarten.","headData":{"twImgId":"","twTitle":"","ogTitle":"","ogImgId":"","twDescription":"","description":"The Parenting Translator breaks down the research behind delaying kindergarten and how to know if your child is ready for kindergarten.","socialDescription":"The Parenting Translator breaks down the research behind delaying kindergarten and how to know if your child is ready for kindergarten.","title":"Does delaying kindergarten benefit children academically and socially? | KQED","ogDescription":"","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"Article","headline":"Does delaying kindergarten benefit children academically and socially?","datePublished":"2023-05-24T06:29:59-07:00","dateModified":"2023-07-08T07:25:25-07:00","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"does-delaying-kindergarten-benefit-children-academically-and-socially","status":"publish","nprByline":"Cara Goodwin, \u003ca href=\"https://www.parentingtranslator.com/\" target=\"blank\">The Parenting Translator\u003c/a>","excludeFromSiteSearch":"Include","showOnAuthorArchivePages":"No","articleAge":"0","path":"/mindshift/61681/does-delaying-kindergarten-benefit-children-academically-and-socially","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cem>A version of this post was \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/p/redshirting-should-your-child-delay\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">originally published\u003c/a> by Parenting Translator. Sign up for \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">the newsletter\u003c/a> and follow Parenting Translator \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/parentingtranslator/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">on Instagram\u003c/a>.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">“Redshirting” or choosing to delay kindergarten for a year is a popular topic for parents of young children at this time of year. Increased awareness of redshirting may have roots in Malcolm Gladwell’s bestselling book \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Outliers, \u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">published in 2008. In the book, Gladwell points to data on the birthdays of Canadian Hockey League players to argue that being relatively older than peers provides an advantage, and he extends this argument to children’s success in school. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">At the same time that ideas from \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Outliers \u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">have circulated, kindergarten has become \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.chalkbeat.org/2019/1/24/21106584/kindergarten-classes-are-getting-more-academic-new-research-says-the-kids-are-all-right\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">increasingly academic\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> and rigorous. For parents of children born near the kindergarten cutoff date, the pressure to redshirt feels intense. My oldest child has a late August birthday, which is right around the cutoff date for her school. However, it seemed like all of the children with summer birthdays (and even April/May birthdays) were waiting an additional year to start kindergarten. Granted, she would have entered kindergarten in 2020, and the possibility of remote learning caused many parents to delay school entry that year. Yet in talking to school administrators and teachers and other parents about this decision, the message I heard over and over again was that the choice was obvious. It seemed that everyone I talked to had wholeheartedly accepted that delaying kindergarten was the best choice for all children. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>The research on redshirting\u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">So does research actually find that redshirting will provide an academic and/or social advantage for children? The answer may be more complicated than you think.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research on redshirting suggests that it is associated with a \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0885200616300795\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">small academic advantage\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> (that is, higher academic test scores), and test scores seem to increase \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0272775705000117?casa_token=jkdnhUgcJOgAAAAA:id9bg37cBYG50j6qE3c8HNAIEHXj9CBC7byLiWiJRuJtSizu-NdzHu7HV-ZkUwq-2qsdqnZy\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">at a greater rate in first and second grade.\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> However, this effect may \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.igi-global.com/chapter/early-school-outcomes-for-children-who-delay-kindergarten-entry/262416\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">begin to fade\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> as early as the end of first grade. This research is all correlational, meaning we do not know whether it is redshirting that causes these advantages or if it is simply associated with advantages. The parents that choose to redshirt their children are often different from the parents who do not — most notably \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.3102/0162373713482764\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">they are often the families that can afford to make this choice\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Some research studies eliminate the problem of parent choice by looking at the impact of age for children within the same grade, such as comparing students with summer birthdays to students in the same grade with fall birthdays. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.3200/JOER.99.4.212-217\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> finds that students who are relatively older than other children in their grade score higher on math and science tests and, although these differences decrease over the years, they are still present to some extent in eighth grade. Other research finds that children who are relatively older show \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.nber.org/system/files/working_papers/w21610/w21610.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">less hyperactivity and inattention\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> and \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"http://www2.ne.su.se/paper/wp13_07.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">greater educational attainment\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> (translation: getting farther in school). However, the impact on educational attainment is greatly reduced when schools do not engage in early tracking (translation: sending children to different schools based on academic abilities in elementary school). Research also shows that children who are older than their classmates are \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2009-04640-022\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">more likely to be in gifted education and less likely to be in special education\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. These positive impacts seem to extend to high school and beyond. Children who are older than their classmates are also \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.aeaweb.org/articles?id=10.1257/app.20140323\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">less likely to drop out of high school, less likely to commit a felony\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, and less likely to experience a \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.nber.org/system/files/working_papers/w13969/w13969.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">teenage pregnancy\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. Children that are older than their classmates are also \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2009-04640-022\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">more likely to attend a four-year college than younger students\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Yet, it is important to note that this line of research only involves associations. Further research is needed in order to conclude that redshirting actually causes any of these positive outcomes. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>When might parents want to avoid redshirting? \u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Are there any situations in which parents might want to avoid redshirting? Research suggests that when your child has an identified disability, a suspected disability or even if you are just concerned that they may need some extra help in school, delaying school entry may be associated with \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0885200616300795\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">worse academic performance\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, because it would delay access to free essential services through the public school system, such as speech therapy and learning support. This short delay may have a big\u003c/span> \u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">impact as \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://srcd.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1467-8624.1994.tb00777.x\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> finds that services before age 5 are more effective in improving a child’s long-term outcome than services after age 5. Research also finds a \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0361476X15000442\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">negative impact of redshirting for children with more severe ADHD\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> and no impact for \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/EJ865608.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">children with learning disabilities\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>Is redshirting more important for boys than girls? \u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">In any discussion of redshirting, it is commonly assumed that boys in particular benefit from redshirting. Is there any research to back this up? \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.brookings.edu/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/0319_school_disadvantage_isaacs.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> does find that girls are more likely to be behaviorally ready for kindergarten than boys. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://direct.mit.edu/edfp/article/11/3/225/10250/First-in-the-Class-Age-and-the-Education\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> also suggests that boys may not do as well as girls with having higher-achieving classmates. Not surprisingly, boys are \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.3102/0162373713482764\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">more likely to be redshirted\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> than girls.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>Does this research also apply to repeating a grade or holding children back?\u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Interestingly, outcomes for children who repeat a grade or are “held back” are very different from those who are redshirted. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://nces.ed.gov/programs/digest/d17/tables/dt17_225.90.asp?referer=raceindicators\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">One million students are held back\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> each year in the United States. This practice particularly impacts ethnic minorities, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://nces.ed.gov/programs/raceindicators/indicator_rda.asp\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">with retention rates of 2.7% for Black students and 1.9% for Hispanic students\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, compared to 1.7% for white students. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">A \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.researchgate.net/publication/279888141_Meta-analysis_of_Grade_Retention_Research_Implications_for_Practice_in_the_21st_Century\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">large body of research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> has indicated that \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2006-23116-002\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">holding a child back in school\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> is associated with \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.researchgate.net/publication/233229828_Grade_Retention_of_Students_During_Grades_K-8_Predicts_Reading_Achievement_and_Progress_During_Secondary_Schooling\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">poorer academic outcomes\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> and little social-emotional benefit. While some studies have found \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2010-02314-011\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">short-term social and academic benefits\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> of grade retention, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S004727271730097X\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">many of these effects fade after a few years\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.nber.org/papers/w13514\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Grade retention is also associated\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> with \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2002-13996-008\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">an increased likelihood of dropping out of high school\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> and \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.3102/0162373709354334?journalCode=epaa\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">a decreased likelihood of finishing college\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. Retained students are also \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2007-13838-002\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">more likely to be aggressive in adolescence\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.3102/0162373709354334?journalCode=epaa\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Grade retention after third grade\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> seems to have a more detrimental effect, perhaps because it has a greater impact on self-esteem as children get older.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">As with the research on redshirting, these studies only found associations between grade retention and these negative impacts, not causation. Regardless, it is important to discuss this research with redshirting because some parents assume that they can push their child ahead to kindergarten and then repeat a later grade if they are struggling. Yet, research suggests that the cons of this approach may outweigh any potential pros. In addition, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.researchgate.net/publication/232540499_Age_Appropriateness_and_Motivation_Engagement_and_Performance_in_High_School_Effects_of_Age_Within_Cohort_Grade_Retention_and_Delayed_School_Entry\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">redshirting reduces the risk for grade retention\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, suggesting that this may be another benefit for redshirting. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Based on this research, most clinicians and educators advise parents to avoid holding children back in a grade unless there is no other option. If your child’s school is pushing for it, present them with the research and see if you can discuss other possible options. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>But is it fair?\u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">For most families, delaying kindergarten means paying for full-time child care or delaying a stay-at-home parent from re-entering the workforce for an additional year. This is simply not an option for most families. Redshirting as a practice may also increase the ever-widening gap between students from high-income and low-income families, as only high-income families may be able to afford this option when wanting to give their child an advantage. Yet there is also \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.nber.org/papers/w13663\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> showing that having older classmates may actually improve the performance of younger classmates, suggesting that the practice of redshirting is at least not harmful to students who do not make this choice. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>How do you know whether your child is ready for kindergarten? \u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The following may help you to decide whether your child is actually ready for kindergarten: \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003col>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Consider not only their academic skills but also their social-emotional and self-regulation skills.\u003c/b> \u003ca href=\"https://ajph.aphapublications.org/doi/full/10.2105/AJPH.2015.302630\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Social skills when entering kindergarten\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> have been found to be related to success as an adult, including the likelihood of graduating college and gaining employment. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/feduc.2019.00127/full\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">More advanced self-regulation skills allow children to “catch up”\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> even if they start behind their peers academically. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0885200614001045\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Self-regulation is also associated with improved academic performance \u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">.\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Consult with your child’s preschool teacher or director if possible.\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Your child’s teacher should have a good idea of how their skills compare to their peers and whether they have the classroom engagement skills necessary for kindergarten. \u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Speak with your child’s pediatrician.\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Your child’s pediatrician can give you their expert opinion as to whether your child is developmentally and physically ready for kindergarten. \u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Visit both possible classroom settings\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. Gain a better understanding of the expectations that will be placed on your child in kindergarten versus the expectations in preschool. Try to determine which setting best fits your child’s current ability level. \u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ol>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>Overall translation\u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Delaying kindergarten for a year may provide a small advantage to children. However, if you suspect your child has special needs or a disability, you may want to avoid redshirting and start school as soon as possible to get them the services they need. Once students enter K-12 schooling, parents may want to avoid holding their children back since the negative impacts may outweigh the positive. Parents may also want to consider that redshirting could increase the ever-widening gap between low-income and high-income children. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Most importantly, parents should consider their own individual child in this decision. Does your child seem to gravitate more to younger or older children? Does your child tend to compare themselves to their peers and get upset when they fall behind? Does your child seem to benefit from older role models around or do they seem to benefit from serving in a “leader” role for younger children? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Parents may also want to consider the school environment. Is the school more academic or play-based? Do they require children to sit for longer periods of time or are there movement breaks? Is redshirting typical for children around the cutoff date in this school system? Does the school compare children to others or use a tracking system for gifted education? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Sometimes this choice does not involve any of the academic advantages discussed above. In August, I will give birth to my third child with a summer birthday and currently I am planning to redshirt all three of these children (a choice I feel very privileged to have). What is really driving my decision is not the academic benefits but the opportunity to have another year with my children in my home. Whatever choice parents make they should feel confident in doing what feels right for their individual child and family.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>Cara Goodwin, PhD, is a licensed psychologist, a mother of three and the founder of \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/p/redshirting-should-your-child-delay\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Parenting Translator\u003c/a>, a nonprofit newsletter that turns scientific research into information that is accurate, relevant and useful for parents.\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/mindshift/61681/does-delaying-kindergarten-benefit-children-academically-and-socially","authors":["byline_mindshift_61681"],"categories":["mindshift_21504","mindshift_21385"],"tags":["mindshift_20720","mindshift_21634","mindshift_790","mindshift_20568","mindshift_21706","mindshift_290","mindshift_21115"],"featImg":"mindshift_61682","label":"mindshift"},"mindshift_61570":{"type":"posts","id":"mindshift_61570","meta":{"index":"posts_1716263798","site":"mindshift","id":"61570","score":null,"sort":[1683126050000]},"parent":0,"labelTerm":{"site":"mindshift"},"blocks":[],"publishDate":1683126050,"format":"standard","title":"How do children learn right from wrong?","headTitle":"How do children learn right from wrong? | KQED","content":"\u003cp>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">This post was originally published by \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/p/how-do-children-learn-right-from\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Parenting Translator\u003c/a>. \u003cem>Sign up for \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">the newsletter\u003c/a> and follow Parenting Translator \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/parentingtranslator/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">on Instagram\u003c/a>.\u003c/em>\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">As parents, our short-term goal is to get our children to listen to us and follow the rules and limits we set for our family. Yet, our long-term goal is to raise children who truly understand why we have created these rules and limits and develop an internal motivation to be kind and do the “right” thing. In other words, we want them to follow rules because they care about being a kind, moral person, not just because they are scared they might get in trouble. In research, this is referred to as \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">internalization.\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> So how do we make sure we are working towards this long-term goal? Could our short-term discipline strategies be interfering with this long-term goal? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">A \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10826-019-01594-3\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">recent study\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> addressed this question. The researchers found that when parents used specific discipline strategies they were more likely to have children who showed early signs of internalization of the rules than parents who used different strategies. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>What strategies helped children to internalize the rules? \u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003col>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Logical consequences instead of punishments. \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Logical consequences are consequences that are related to the child’s actions, such as taking away a toy that your child threw at their sibling, ending meal time because they are playing with their food, making your child clean up a mess that they made or leaving the playground when they aren’t following the rules. These types of consequences are more likely to result in \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1111/sode.12212?casa_token=QjNoqsaqHZwAAAAA:lUPPpwJVhA8BdFAiHPd0RJ1EQpKydgY_QAGep5wpdIU9O69koOVwwmNB_PIc1KZ7CvxLPaL6RN5969c\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">children actually taking responsibility for the problem they created and helping children to understand the importance of the broken rule.\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Practicing “autonomy-supportive” parenting instead of “controlling” parenting.\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> “Autonomy-supportive” parenting includes acknowledging your child’s feelings about a rule or limit, giving them some sort of choice or involvement in the decision-making around rules and limits, and providing the rationale behind the rule or limit. Controlling parenting often involves threats and punishment to make your child behave or trying to induce guilt or fear. Autonomy-supportive parenting helps children to internalize the rules, while controlling parenting makes children more likely to behave to please parents or avoid getting into trouble. \u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ol>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>How does internalization happen? \u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">This study, along with previous research, finds that, when children feel less anger and more empathy in response to their parents’ rule-setting, they are more likely to find the rule or limit acceptable. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0165025416681538?casa_token=IOJz4NE9oAUAAAAA:F-esS14WhXDtnMgVCSNFrzcGZ1xhFuXd2qPvD_dLgDNZLB-Mt-bZsqBp-ezYh_duXGm3Yj1d69LZ\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> suggests that the more children accept the rule or limit, the more likely they are to appreciate and internalize the values that underlie the rule or limit. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Fa0035057\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> also suggests that anger in response to a parent’s discipline strategy may interfere with internalization since it makes children think more about how unfair the discipline is rather than the values their parents are trying to teach. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2010-17955-027\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> finds that any parent discipline strategy that increases empathy is likely to enhance the internalization process. Logical consequences and autonomy-supportive parenting are effective because they help to reduce anger and increase empathy in the context of rule- or limit-setting. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>So how do parents apply this research?\u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003col>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Gently remind your child of a rule or limit before using any type of discipline.\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> For example, if your child is throwing sand at the playground, remind them “We will have to leave the playground if you keep throwing sand” before following through on this logical consequence. \u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Acknowledge their feelings if they are not happy about the limit you are setting\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. It is so important to remember that you can hold the limit while still acknowledging they might not like it. For example, “I know you don’t like being buckled into your car seat. It feels uncomfortable for you, but it is the only safe way for us to ride in the car.”\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Use logical consequences instead of punishments when possible.\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Logical consequences are consequences created by parents that are related to the behavior and make logical sense following from the behavior. For example, if your child hits their brother, you ask them to stop playing to go get him an ice pack. If they make a mess, they have to clean it up instead of watching a movie with the rest of the family. A punishment is a negative consequence that is usually unrelated to the behavior and intended to be aversive to the child so they do not repeat the challenging behavior. For example, taking away screen time when they hit their brother or yelling at a child for making a mess. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0193397317301247?casa_token=OvD9DeuMvf8AAAAA:m5aF4JOZ-Dk46x_jh-b_FliHoFMzNjNl2vBRWm4qOpRPQUh9hcJF_tcQBtn1GNjvDe2DSQ2G\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> finds that logical consequences are more acceptable to children, which makes them less likely to cause anger and more likely to increase empathy. \u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Give them a chance to make some type of choice or participate in decision making or problem solving in some way.\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> If your child is having difficulty with a limit or rule you set, give them a chance to make a choice. For example, you can say something like: “We need to leave the playground now, you can either walk or skip to the car.”\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Explain the rationale behind the limit, focusing on the impact on others when possible\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. Explaining the rationale (translation: giving them the reason for the rule rather than just saying “because I said so”) helps to reduce children’s anger about the rule, which then increases their likelihood of internalizing the rule. In addition, focusing on how the rule impacts others can help to build empathy, which is also key for internalization. For example, you can say something like: “We have to clean up our toys otherwise someone could trip over them and get hurt” or “When you grabbed that toy from your brother’s hands, it hurt his hands and interrupted his play”. \u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Avoid threats (“If you don’t clean up your toys, I am going to throw them away”) or anything that is meant to induce fear or guilt (“Why are you always so mean to your baby brother?”). \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">These approaches might be effective in the moment but can come off as controlling to children and increase anger, which ultimately reduces the chances of internalization. \u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ol>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Cara Goodwin, PhD, is a licensed psychologist, a mother of three and the founder of \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Parenting Translator\u003c/a>, a nonprofit newsletter that turns scientific research into information that is accurate, relevant and useful for parents.\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n","stats":{"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"hasAudio":false,"hasPolis":false,"wordCount":1110,"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"paragraphCount":7},"modified":1688826343,"excerpt":"Research shows that logical consequences and autonomy-supportive parenting are more likely to lead kids to internalize and uphold rules and morals.","headData":{"twImgId":"","twTitle":"","ogTitle":"","ogImgId":"","twDescription":"","description":"Logical consequences and autonomy-supportive parenting are more likely to lead kids to internalize and uphold rules and morals.","socialDescription":"Logical consequences and autonomy-supportive parenting are more likely to lead kids to internalize and uphold rules and morals.","title":"How do children learn right from wrong? | KQED","ogDescription":"","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"Article","headline":"How do children learn right from wrong?","datePublished":"2023-05-03T08:00:50-07:00","dateModified":"2023-07-08T07:25:43-07:00","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"how-do-children-learn-right-from-wrong","status":"publish","nprByline":"Cara Goodwin, \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.org\" target=\"_blank\">The Parenting Translator\u003c/a>","excludeFromSiteSearch":"Include","showOnAuthorArchivePages":"No","articleAge":"0","path":"/mindshift/61570/how-do-children-learn-right-from-wrong","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">This post was originally published by \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/p/how-do-children-learn-right-from\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Parenting Translator\u003c/a>. \u003cem>Sign up for \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">the newsletter\u003c/a> and follow Parenting Translator \u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/parentingtranslator/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">on Instagram\u003c/a>.\u003c/em>\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">As parents, our short-term goal is to get our children to listen to us and follow the rules and limits we set for our family. Yet, our long-term goal is to raise children who truly understand why we have created these rules and limits and develop an internal motivation to be kind and do the “right” thing. In other words, we want them to follow rules because they care about being a kind, moral person, not just because they are scared they might get in trouble. In research, this is referred to as \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">internalization.\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> So how do we make sure we are working towards this long-term goal? Could our short-term discipline strategies be interfering with this long-term goal? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">A \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10826-019-01594-3\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">recent study\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> addressed this question. The researchers found that when parents used specific discipline strategies they were more likely to have children who showed early signs of internalization of the rules than parents who used different strategies. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>What strategies helped children to internalize the rules? \u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003col>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Logical consequences instead of punishments. \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Logical consequences are consequences that are related to the child’s actions, such as taking away a toy that your child threw at their sibling, ending meal time because they are playing with their food, making your child clean up a mess that they made or leaving the playground when they aren’t following the rules. These types of consequences are more likely to result in \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1111/sode.12212?casa_token=QjNoqsaqHZwAAAAA:lUPPpwJVhA8BdFAiHPd0RJ1EQpKydgY_QAGep5wpdIU9O69koOVwwmNB_PIc1KZ7CvxLPaL6RN5969c\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">children actually taking responsibility for the problem they created and helping children to understand the importance of the broken rule.\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Practicing “autonomy-supportive” parenting instead of “controlling” parenting.\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> “Autonomy-supportive” parenting includes acknowledging your child’s feelings about a rule or limit, giving them some sort of choice or involvement in the decision-making around rules and limits, and providing the rationale behind the rule or limit. Controlling parenting often involves threats and punishment to make your child behave or trying to induce guilt or fear. Autonomy-supportive parenting helps children to internalize the rules, while controlling parenting makes children more likely to behave to please parents or avoid getting into trouble. \u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ol>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>How does internalization happen? \u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">This study, along with previous research, finds that, when children feel less anger and more empathy in response to their parents’ rule-setting, they are more likely to find the rule or limit acceptable. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0165025416681538?casa_token=IOJz4NE9oAUAAAAA:F-esS14WhXDtnMgVCSNFrzcGZ1xhFuXd2qPvD_dLgDNZLB-Mt-bZsqBp-ezYh_duXGm3Yj1d69LZ\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> suggests that the more children accept the rule or limit, the more likely they are to appreciate and internalize the values that underlie the rule or limit. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Fa0035057\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> also suggests that anger in response to a parent’s discipline strategy may interfere with internalization since it makes children think more about how unfair the discipline is rather than the values their parents are trying to teach. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2010-17955-027\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> finds that any parent discipline strategy that increases empathy is likely to enhance the internalization process. Logical consequences and autonomy-supportive parenting are effective because they help to reduce anger and increase empathy in the context of rule- or limit-setting. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>So how do parents apply this research?\u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003col>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Gently remind your child of a rule or limit before using any type of discipline.\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> For example, if your child is throwing sand at the playground, remind them “We will have to leave the playground if you keep throwing sand” before following through on this logical consequence. \u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Acknowledge their feelings if they are not happy about the limit you are setting\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. It is so important to remember that you can hold the limit while still acknowledging they might not like it. For example, “I know you don’t like being buckled into your car seat. It feels uncomfortable for you, but it is the only safe way for us to ride in the car.”\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Use logical consequences instead of punishments when possible.\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> Logical consequences are consequences created by parents that are related to the behavior and make logical sense following from the behavior. For example, if your child hits their brother, you ask them to stop playing to go get him an ice pack. If they make a mess, they have to clean it up instead of watching a movie with the rest of the family. A punishment is a negative consequence that is usually unrelated to the behavior and intended to be aversive to the child so they do not repeat the challenging behavior. For example, taking away screen time when they hit their brother or yelling at a child for making a mess. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0193397317301247?casa_token=OvD9DeuMvf8AAAAA:m5aF4JOZ-Dk46x_jh-b_FliHoFMzNjNl2vBRWm4qOpRPQUh9hcJF_tcQBtn1GNjvDe2DSQ2G\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> finds that logical consequences are more acceptable to children, which makes them less likely to cause anger and more likely to increase empathy. \u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Give them a chance to make some type of choice or participate in decision making or problem solving in some way.\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> If your child is having difficulty with a limit or rule you set, give them a chance to make a choice. For example, you can say something like: “We need to leave the playground now, you can either walk or skip to the car.”\u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Explain the rationale behind the limit, focusing on the impact on others when possible\u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. Explaining the rationale (translation: giving them the reason for the rule rather than just saying “because I said so”) helps to reduce children’s anger about the rule, which then increases their likelihood of internalizing the rule. In addition, focusing on how the rule impacts others can help to build empathy, which is also key for internalization. For example, you can say something like: “We have to clean up our toys otherwise someone could trip over them and get hurt” or “When you grabbed that toy from your brother’s hands, it hurt his hands and interrupted his play”. \u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003cb>Avoid threats (“If you don’t clean up your toys, I am going to throw them away”) or anything that is meant to induce fear or guilt (“Why are you always so mean to your baby brother?”). \u003c/b>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">These approaches might be effective in the moment but can come off as controlling to children and increase anger, which ultimately reduces the chances of internalization. \u003c/span>\u003c/li>\n\u003c/ol>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Cara Goodwin, PhD, is a licensed psychologist, a mother of three and the founder of \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Parenting Translator\u003c/a>, a nonprofit newsletter that turns scientific research into information that is accurate, relevant and useful for parents.\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/mindshift/61570/how-do-children-learn-right-from-wrong","authors":["byline_mindshift_61570"],"categories":["mindshift_21385"],"tags":["mindshift_20892","mindshift_21612","mindshift_20794","mindshift_21268","mindshift_21613","mindshift_21615","mindshift_20568","mindshift_21706","mindshift_290","mindshift_21703","mindshift_21614"],"featImg":"mindshift_61573","label":"mindshift"},"mindshift_61399":{"type":"posts","id":"mindshift_61399","meta":{"index":"posts_1716263798","site":"mindshift","id":"61399","score":null,"sort":[1681261218000]},"parent":0,"labelTerm":{"site":"mindshift"},"blocks":[],"publishDate":1681261218,"format":"standard","title":"What parenting research really says about timeouts and how to use them","headTitle":"What parenting research really says about timeouts and how to use them | KQED","content":"\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003ci>A version of this story was \u003c/i>\u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/p/the-time-out-controversy\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003ci>originally published\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003ci> by Parenting Translator. Sign up for \u003c/i>\u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003ci>the newsletter\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003ci> and follow Parenting Translator \u003c/i>\u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/parentingtranslator/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003ci>on Instagram\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003ci>. This post was edited for length.\u003c/i>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">As a new parent, the gentle parenting movement was very appealing to me. Although my training as a psychologist and researcher did not focus on gentle parenting (since this approach as a whole has not yet been researched), I read books and blogs about gentle parenting and wholeheartedly endorsed the underlying concepts of being empathetic and responsive to our children’s needs and prioritizing the parent-child relationship. Like many parents, I wanted above all else to raise kind and compassionate children, and I hoped that the gentle parenting approach would help me achieve that goal. However, I was surprised to learn that some of the specifics of gentle parenting ran counter to my training as a psychologist. One particularly controversial difference is that gentle parenting tends to oppose timeout — a practice that I had recommended to parents frequently as a psychologist since it is a part of nearly every research-backed parenting program. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">In my clinical work, I had seen firsthand that timeout could be a helpful tool for many families. However, as a parent, I was initially unsure about whether timeout would be right for our family. Before having my second child, I felt no need to use timeout. Redirection and emotion coaching were effective for our family. However, after having my second child, I often found myself in the very difficult situation of my 2-year-old being aggressive with her baby brother. Although I knew that this reaction was entirely developmentally normal, these situations were still very upsetting for me as a parent. Someone had just hurt my baby and it didn’t matter that it was my other baby who did it — I was angry. I needed a minute to calm down and tend to the baby before being able to handle the situation with my 2-year-old in a calm and effective way. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I decided to try timeout. After this very brief separation I felt ready to handle my toddler and be the patient parent that I wanted to be. Six years later, I still use timeout to handle sibling fighting in my house. I find that it allows everyone, including me, to calm down and figure out what happened. It prevents me from losing my cool and yelling and allows my children a chance to separate from each other in order to calm down themselves. I now have the confidence to believe it is the right choice for my family but occasionally I see social media or blog posts about timeout that makes me question this approach, even as an experienced parent. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>History of timeout\u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad fullwidth]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The concept of timeout was developed by a psychologist named Arthur Staats in the 1960s. It was created as an alternative to spanking and other forms of physical punishment, which were very popular at the time. The idea was that children would be briefly removed from a rewarding or stimulating environment when they showed a particular challenging behavior, like aggression. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Timeout is short for a timeout from positive reinforcement. It is based on the behavioral principle that when you take away positive reinforcement (translation: anything rewarding in the child’s environment such as toys, parents’ and siblings’ attention, or a fun activity), a behavior will occur less frequently. Therefore, this principle can only be applied when the parent provides a positive environment at other times (attention, positive interactions, enriching activities, etc.). This behavioral principle works for adults as well. For example, imagine your phone died when you were waiting at the DMV — it would be boring but tolerable and you would likely be more motivated to charge your phone before the next DMV appointment. Timeout is not meant to cause suffering but just to be very boring. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research in the 1970s and 1980s found that timeout was very effective at reducing problematic behavior. In the 1990s and 2000s, timeout was included in many parenting intervention programs (translation: programs designed to improve parenting which would thus improve parent-child relationship and the child’s behavior). As study after study consistently supported the use of timeout, it began to be recommended by nearly all pediatricians and mental health professionals. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">It is unclear exactly when the opposition to timeout began but it may have originated in 2014, when authors Dan Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson wrote an article for \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Time\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> magazine called “Timeouts Are Hurting Your Child.” In this article, Siegel, a psychiatrist, and Bryson, a licensed clinical social worker, argued that children experience timeouts as rejection. They asserted that misbehavior in children is often a “cry for help calming down” and a “bid for connection.” They also argued that timeouts make children angrier and more dysregulated, which makes it harder for them to reflect on their behavior. Instead, they suggest that parents use “time-in” which involves “sitting with the child and talking or comforting [them].”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Siegel and Bryson used a brain imaging study to back up these claims. They wrote, “In a brain scan, relational pain — that caused by isolation during punishment — can look the same as physical abuse.” However, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.wisebrain.org/papers/RejectionHurt.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">the study\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> they are referring to only included adults, and the adults in this study did not experience isolation during punishment but rather they were left out of a virtual ball-throwing game. The researchers found that social exclusion during this video game was associated with activation of the anterior cingulate cortex (a brain region that has been found in previous research to be linked to \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fnint.2014.00035/full\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">physical pain\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, but also many, many other functions such as \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1364661300014832?casa_token=odF2PuoUbp0AAAAA:tRZJ9Y44IajuTCoyvfUBSLCol_m_8QA6-jEd6xGARvYZMkVJiN2Y6fYCLjsUHV7WGH-jrFbp\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">problem-solving and processing of all emotions\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">). While these findings are interesting, it is hard to understand how this study might be applied to timeout and they definitely cannot be used to conclude that isolation during punishment causes physical pain for children. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Siegel and Bryson later clarified that they were only referring to timeouts which were conducted in harsh or punitive ways. They wrote in \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://drdansiegel.com/you-said-what-about-time-outs/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">a follow-up piece\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> that they actually support the use of timeout when it is used “infrequently, calmly, and with lots of support and connection and positive support.” They explained that “the ‘appropriate’ use of timeouts calls for brief, infrequent, previously explained breaks from an interaction used as part of a thought-out parenting strategy that is followed by positive feedback and connection with a parent.” They added that “This seems not only reasonable, but it is an overall approach supported by the research as helpful for many children.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Yet, despite their clarification, the movement against timeout continued and a \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4179870/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">research study \u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">in 2014 found that 30% of websites on timeout inaccurately claimed the practice was either potentially harmful or ineffective. The researchers also found inconsistent or minimal information on research-backed timeout parameters. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">At the same time, timeout continues to be recommended by most psychologists and pediatricians, as well as the American Academy of Pediatrics, and the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">So what does the research actually find on timeout? Is timeout an effective discipline strategy or could it be harmful to children? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Does timeout actually improve behavior?\u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Joe-Olmi/publication/236703899_Time-out_with_Parents_A_Descriptive_Analysis_of_30_Years_of_Research/links/5ecff89445851529451b422b/Time-out-with-Parents-A-Descriptive-Analysis-of-30-Years-of-Research.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Decades of high-quality research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> finds that timeout is effective at addressing challenging behavior in children ages 3 to 7. Timeout is included in nearly every research-backed parenting program, including Triple P, Parent Child Interaction Therapy, The Incredible Years, Helping the Noncompliant Child, and Parent Management Training.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Many experimental studies have found that timeout decreases \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/07317107.2018.1487701?casa_token=B7btvBkT8eEAAAAA:XoiI9rWoMOju-qoOttKD9InHWFJ9T4ccTKayEC4FdxMkgnMAUhwPOKQkf1uEceP82hTfC_8WAyQd\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">sibling fighting\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, reduces \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0145445506297725?casa_token=TOwHVzDrVSkAAAAA:poAtl67hU0MiM3s78kDN2syXU2yiHn2X2J4KCJ7SDLkvtaJp3sRbbFX0nx0BB8l47UearYnWaWX7\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">noncompliance and oppositionality (translation: not listening when your parents ask you to do something)\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, and decreases the frequency of \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0005789404800273\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">aggression and destruction of property among children with ADHD\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. More importantly, randomized controlled trials (the gold standard research design) find that timeout is very effective at increasing children’s compliance to demands (translation: listening to what you ask them to do) and reducing fighting and behavior problems like aggression and destruction of property. These randomized controlled trials need to be given significant weight, as they are the highest level of scientific evidence. They go beyond simply showing that two things are correlated and allow us to conclude that parenting programs that include timeout actually \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">cause\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> these positive behavior changes. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Taking a break from an emotionally charged situation is an important skill to learn to manage emotions as an adult. A \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://faculty.washington.edu/jdb/345/345%20Articles/bushman(2002).pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">seminal research study\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> in adults found that sitting quietly reduces anger to a greater extent than expressing it. This is similar to findings in adult relationship and marriage research that shows that when conflict reaches a certain level, more processing or engaging can be counterproductive; instead, evidence-based marriage interventions (such as \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://cdn.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/Empirical-Basis-for-Gottman-Method-Therapy-May2013.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The Gottman method\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">) recommend that each adult take a 20-minute break away from the situation (an adult timeout, if you will). \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://static1.squarespace.com/static/56c0eeaa7c65e465b5050feb/t/56c557ed627c54a999d9f35f/1455773677865/40_FinkelDewallSlotterOatenFoshee2009_JPSP.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> finds that this practice helps adults to stay calm and be less aggressive.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Does timeout cause harm in any way?\u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">However, many parents are not worried about only whether timeout improves behavior but also whether it causes emotional harm to their children and how it might impact the parent-child relationship. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://journals.lww.com/jrnldbp/fulltext/2020/01000/longitudinal_relationship_between_time_out_and.5.aspx?casa_token=J3QpIVPKJloAAAAA:bSl7kEp99of6sbW4nQ5ejvYPNCSGkF9LpZ2KCQX1QPMqqDJPzI4NnN-tSO3KuQVvM7sJLGc84pxIXL7BTPqL3ws\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">A 2020 study\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> addressed this very question by examining the impact of timeout on children’s long-term social and emotional development. The researchers found in this study that when parents used timeout, their children were \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">not\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> more likely to show signs of anxiety or depression, aggression, rule-breaking behavior or difficulties with self-control. Timeout was also not associated with any impact on creativity or differences in how the children interacted with the parents or the parent-child relationship. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://srcd.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1111/j.1467-8624.2009.01409.x?casa_token=NwguQ_W61BkAAAAA:CMLV4tzNFbHUkJK2jZhyH7ri9iOwTVYn-MktkTDJqUms_nEryXTgti8PeC3gSU3QWO7VSSxCTNRowdk\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Another study\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> including families from many different countries found that the frequency of timeout was associated with increases in mother-reported levels of child anxiety but not child-reported anxiety and was not linked to any differences in either mother-reported or child-reported aggression. This finding is hard to interpret but suggests that mothers may be worried about their child’s anxiety if they use timeout but the children are not reporting any changes in their anxiety themselves.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">It is important to note that in both of these studies, the researchers did not train parents in how to implement timeout or measure whether timeout was used “appropriately.” Therefore, this research suggests that timeout even as implemented by most parents (which is \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">not\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> the way recommended by research) is not associated with negative outcomes. It is also striking that very different results were found in both studies for harsh discipline tactics, such as spanking/physical punishment, yelling and expressing disappointment, which were linked to increased aggression in children. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Now, you might be thinking: “These studies are all correlational…how do we know that timeout doesn’t actually \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">cause any\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> emotional harms?” Fortunately, we also have research suggesting that parenting programs that include timeout do not cause harm and often cause positive changes in children’s mental health. Randomized controlled trials of parenting programs that include timeout found that these programs were effective in not only reducing behavioral problems but also improving children’s mental health. Specifically, children who complete these programs show \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapsychiatry/fullarticle/2494708\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">fewer symptoms of anxiety and depression\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> and are \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapsychiatry/fullarticle/2494708\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">less likely to show emotional problems\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. A \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamanetworkopen/fullarticle/2795824\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">recent nonrandomized controlled trial\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> also found that a parenting program that included timeout improved children’s mental health.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">In addition, research that looks at the \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK75130/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">different components of these programs found that teaching parents timeout in particular was associated with more positive child and parent outcomes\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. In other words, programs that included timeout were found to be more effective in improving parent-child interactions than programs that did not. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0005796712000186?casa_token=V49Q4fBGoroAAAAA:ke3e8U7goWm1vn_h4uWwK9tT218LfhpP_kl7n3PJkT_hXz4X9fG05X8hHVoPzw4zeTVgfMpF\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> also finds that parents show less harsh punishments after learning timeout through one of these programs. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">However, it is very important to mention that timeout has rarely been studied outside of the context of these positive parenting programs. Therefore, we do not know if timeout will have these positive outcomes when it is not being used with other positive parenting strategies. This is consistent with the very definition of an evidence-based timeout; all evidence-based programs specify that timeout should only be used when paired with positive parenting strategies.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>So should I use timeout?\u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">As with all parenting decisions, you can use the research as a guide but ultimately you as a parent are the only one who knows what is best for your child and your family. Timeout is an effective tool that parents may or may not choose to use. This decision should not be based on fear or misinformation, but rather guided by your intuition, values, and knowledge of your specific child and family. If it does not feel right to you as a parent to use timeout, then it is important to know that the research does not indicate that you \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">must \u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">use timeout in order to be an effective parent.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Even in light of the research finding no harms of timeout, it is important to remember the limitations of timeout. Timeout does not teach your child what to do instead of the challenging behavior and does not teach them about their emotions. Therefore, timeout should only be used in the context of other positive parenting skills, such as emotional coaching (talking to our children about their emotions and the emotions of others), teaching coping strategies and other appropriate skills, and focusing on a positive relationship between parent and child. We also need more research on timeout, including further research examining the long-term impacts of timeout.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">If you are using these positive parenting skills and you would like to also use timeout occasionally, you can add timeout to your parenting toolkit without any guilt. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.rch.org.au/uploadedFiles/Main/Content/ccch/Risk_factors_for_childhood_mental_health_symptoms_Bayer.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> consistently finds that harsh discipline tactics, such as yelling or physical punishment, are associated with increased mental health symptoms in children. If timeout gives you and your child a chance to calm down before you resort to these strategies, it might make sense. You can also use timeout and still use gentle parenting strategies that are backed by research such as emotional validation, empathy and positive attention. Despite how it is depicted on social media, parenting is not black-and-white and it is really up to you to determine what is right for your child and your family.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>Cara Goodwin, PhD, is a licensed psychologist, a mother of three and the founder of \u003c/i>\u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003ci>Parenting Translator\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003ci>, a nonprofit newsletter that turns scientific research into information that is accurate, relevant and useful for parents.\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>[ad floatright]\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>All Parenting Translator newsletters are reviewed by experts in the topic to make sure that they are as helpful and as accurate for parents as possible. This post was reviewed by Jenna Elgin and Shanna Alvarez, who are licensed psychologists and the founders of Helping Families Thrive (HFT). The mission at HFT is to bring parenting science to the everyday parent via easily-accessible, modern parenting resources (including \u003ca href=\"http://www.instagram.com/helpingfamiliesthrive\" rel=\"\">social media\u003c/a>, podcasts, \u003ca href=\"http://www.helpingfamiliesthrive.com/blog\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">blogging\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://helpingfamiliesthrive.com/courses/parenting-essentials/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">digital courses\u003c/a> and \u003ca href=\"https://helpingfamiliesthrive.com/workshops/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">workshops\u003c/a>). They also provide direct clinical work with families and conduct trainings for schools and professional organizations. Get their free emotion regulation guide \u003ca href=\"https://view.flodesk.com/pages/623398a4e4da3a4464c30979\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">here\u003c/a>.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n","stats":{"hasVideo":false,"hasChartOrMap":false,"hasAudio":false,"hasPolis":false,"wordCount":2593,"hasGoogleForm":false,"hasGallery":false,"hasHearkenModule":false,"iframeSrcs":[],"paragraphCount":32},"modified":1688826383,"excerpt":"Contrary to claims of gentle parenting influencers, timeout hasn't been found to harm kids. Used alongside other effective parenting techniques, it can reduce oppositional behaviors.","headData":{"twImgId":"","twTitle":"","ogTitle":"","ogImgId":"","twDescription":"","description":"Contrary to claims of gentle parenting influencers, timeout hasn't been found to harm kids. Used alongside other effective techniques, it can reduce oppositional behaviors.","socialDescription":"Contrary to claims of gentle parenting influencers, timeout hasn't been found to harm kids. Used alongside other effective techniques, it can reduce oppositional behaviors.","title":"What parenting research really says about timeouts and how to use them | KQED","ogDescription":"","schema":{"@context":"http://schema.org","@type":"Article","headline":"What parenting research really says about timeouts and how to use them","datePublished":"2023-04-11T18:00:18-07:00","dateModified":"2023-07-08T07:26:23-07:00","image":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/KQED-OG-Image@1x.png"}},"guestAuthors":[],"slug":"what-parenting-research-really-says-about-timeouts-and-how-to-use-them","status":"publish","nprByline":"Cara Goodwin, \u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.org\" target=\"_blank\">The Parenting Translator\u003c/a>","excludeFromSiteSearch":"Include","showOnAuthorArchivePages":"No","articleAge":"0","path":"/mindshift/61399/what-parenting-research-really-says-about-timeouts-and-how-to-use-them","audioTrackLength":null,"parsedContent":[{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">\u003ci>A version of this story was \u003c/i>\u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/p/the-time-out-controversy\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003ci>originally published\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003ci> by Parenting Translator. Sign up for \u003c/i>\u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003ci>the newsletter\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003ci> and follow Parenting Translator \u003c/i>\u003ca href=\"https://www.instagram.com/parentingtranslator/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003ci>on Instagram\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003ci>. This post was edited for length.\u003c/i>\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">As a new parent, the gentle parenting movement was very appealing to me. Although my training as a psychologist and researcher did not focus on gentle parenting (since this approach as a whole has not yet been researched), I read books and blogs about gentle parenting and wholeheartedly endorsed the underlying concepts of being empathetic and responsive to our children’s needs and prioritizing the parent-child relationship. Like many parents, I wanted above all else to raise kind and compassionate children, and I hoped that the gentle parenting approach would help me achieve that goal. However, I was surprised to learn that some of the specifics of gentle parenting ran counter to my training as a psychologist. One particularly controversial difference is that gentle parenting tends to oppose timeout — a practice that I had recommended to parents frequently as a psychologist since it is a part of nearly every research-backed parenting program. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">In my clinical work, I had seen firsthand that timeout could be a helpful tool for many families. However, as a parent, I was initially unsure about whether timeout would be right for our family. Before having my second child, I felt no need to use timeout. Redirection and emotion coaching were effective for our family. However, after having my second child, I often found myself in the very difficult situation of my 2-year-old being aggressive with her baby brother. Although I knew that this reaction was entirely developmentally normal, these situations were still very upsetting for me as a parent. Someone had just hurt my baby and it didn’t matter that it was my other baby who did it — I was angry. I needed a minute to calm down and tend to the baby before being able to handle the situation with my 2-year-old in a calm and effective way. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">I decided to try timeout. After this very brief separation I felt ready to handle my toddler and be the patient parent that I wanted to be. Six years later, I still use timeout to handle sibling fighting in my house. I find that it allows everyone, including me, to calm down and figure out what happened. It prevents me from losing my cool and yelling and allows my children a chance to separate from each other in order to calm down themselves. I now have the confidence to believe it is the right choice for my family but occasionally I see social media or blog posts about timeout that makes me question this approach, even as an experienced parent. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>History of timeout\u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"fullwidth"},"numeric":["fullwidth"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The concept of timeout was developed by a psychologist named Arthur Staats in the 1960s. It was created as an alternative to spanking and other forms of physical punishment, which were very popular at the time. The idea was that children would be briefly removed from a rewarding or stimulating environment when they showed a particular challenging behavior, like aggression. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Timeout is short for a timeout from positive reinforcement. It is based on the behavioral principle that when you take away positive reinforcement (translation: anything rewarding in the child’s environment such as toys, parents’ and siblings’ attention, or a fun activity), a behavior will occur less frequently. Therefore, this principle can only be applied when the parent provides a positive environment at other times (attention, positive interactions, enriching activities, etc.). This behavioral principle works for adults as well. For example, imagine your phone died when you were waiting at the DMV — it would be boring but tolerable and you would likely be more motivated to charge your phone before the next DMV appointment. Timeout is not meant to cause suffering but just to be very boring. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research in the 1970s and 1980s found that timeout was very effective at reducing problematic behavior. In the 1990s and 2000s, timeout was included in many parenting intervention programs (translation: programs designed to improve parenting which would thus improve parent-child relationship and the child’s behavior). As study after study consistently supported the use of timeout, it began to be recommended by nearly all pediatricians and mental health professionals. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">It is unclear exactly when the opposition to timeout began but it may have originated in 2014, when authors Dan Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson wrote an article for \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Time\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> magazine called “Timeouts Are Hurting Your Child.” In this article, Siegel, a psychiatrist, and Bryson, a licensed clinical social worker, argued that children experience timeouts as rejection. They asserted that misbehavior in children is often a “cry for help calming down” and a “bid for connection.” They also argued that timeouts make children angrier and more dysregulated, which makes it harder for them to reflect on their behavior. Instead, they suggest that parents use “time-in” which involves “sitting with the child and talking or comforting [them].”\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Siegel and Bryson used a brain imaging study to back up these claims. They wrote, “In a brain scan, relational pain — that caused by isolation during punishment — can look the same as physical abuse.” However, \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.wisebrain.org/papers/RejectionHurt.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">the study\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> they are referring to only included adults, and the adults in this study did not experience isolation during punishment but rather they were left out of a virtual ball-throwing game. The researchers found that social exclusion during this video game was associated with activation of the anterior cingulate cortex (a brain region that has been found in previous research to be linked to \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fnint.2014.00035/full\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">physical pain\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, but also many, many other functions such as \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1364661300014832?casa_token=odF2PuoUbp0AAAAA:tRZJ9Y44IajuTCoyvfUBSLCol_m_8QA6-jEd6xGARvYZMkVJiN2Y6fYCLjsUHV7WGH-jrFbp\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">problem-solving and processing of all emotions\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">). While these findings are interesting, it is hard to understand how this study might be applied to timeout and they definitely cannot be used to conclude that isolation during punishment causes physical pain for children. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Siegel and Bryson later clarified that they were only referring to timeouts which were conducted in harsh or punitive ways. They wrote in \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://drdansiegel.com/you-said-what-about-time-outs/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">a follow-up piece\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> that they actually support the use of timeout when it is used “infrequently, calmly, and with lots of support and connection and positive support.” They explained that “the ‘appropriate’ use of timeouts calls for brief, infrequent, previously explained breaks from an interaction used as part of a thought-out parenting strategy that is followed by positive feedback and connection with a parent.” They added that “This seems not only reasonable, but it is an overall approach supported by the research as helpful for many children.” \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Yet, despite their clarification, the movement against timeout continued and a \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4179870/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">research study \u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">in 2014 found that 30% of websites on timeout inaccurately claimed the practice was either potentially harmful or ineffective. The researchers also found inconsistent or minimal information on research-backed timeout parameters. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">At the same time, timeout continues to be recommended by most psychologists and pediatricians, as well as the American Academy of Pediatrics, and the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">So what does the research actually find on timeout? Is timeout an effective discipline strategy or could it be harmful to children? \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Does timeout actually improve behavior?\u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Joe-Olmi/publication/236703899_Time-out_with_Parents_A_Descriptive_Analysis_of_30_Years_of_Research/links/5ecff89445851529451b422b/Time-out-with-Parents-A-Descriptive-Analysis-of-30-Years-of-Research.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Decades of high-quality research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> finds that timeout is effective at addressing challenging behavior in children ages 3 to 7. Timeout is included in nearly every research-backed parenting program, including Triple P, Parent Child Interaction Therapy, The Incredible Years, Helping the Noncompliant Child, and Parent Management Training.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Many experimental studies have found that timeout decreases \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/07317107.2018.1487701?casa_token=B7btvBkT8eEAAAAA:XoiI9rWoMOju-qoOttKD9InHWFJ9T4ccTKayEC4FdxMkgnMAUhwPOKQkf1uEceP82hTfC_8WAyQd\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">sibling fighting\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, reduces \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0145445506297725?casa_token=TOwHVzDrVSkAAAAA:poAtl67hU0MiM3s78kDN2syXU2yiHn2X2J4KCJ7SDLkvtaJp3sRbbFX0nx0BB8l47UearYnWaWX7\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">noncompliance and oppositionality (translation: not listening when your parents ask you to do something)\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">, and decreases the frequency of \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0005789404800273\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">aggression and destruction of property among children with ADHD\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. More importantly, randomized controlled trials (the gold standard research design) find that timeout is very effective at increasing children’s compliance to demands (translation: listening to what you ask them to do) and reducing fighting and behavior problems like aggression and destruction of property. These randomized controlled trials need to be given significant weight, as they are the highest level of scientific evidence. They go beyond simply showing that two things are correlated and allow us to conclude that parenting programs that include timeout actually \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">cause\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> these positive behavior changes. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Taking a break from an emotionally charged situation is an important skill to learn to manage emotions as an adult. A \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://faculty.washington.edu/jdb/345/345%20Articles/bushman(2002).pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">seminal research study\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> in adults found that sitting quietly reduces anger to a greater extent than expressing it. This is similar to findings in adult relationship and marriage research that shows that when conflict reaches a certain level, more processing or engaging can be counterproductive; instead, evidence-based marriage interventions (such as \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://cdn.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/Empirical-Basis-for-Gottman-Method-Therapy-May2013.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">The Gottman method\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">) recommend that each adult take a 20-minute break away from the situation (an adult timeout, if you will). \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://static1.squarespace.com/static/56c0eeaa7c65e465b5050feb/t/56c557ed627c54a999d9f35f/1455773677865/40_FinkelDewallSlotterOatenFoshee2009_JPSP.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> finds that this practice helps adults to stay calm and be less aggressive.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cb>Does timeout cause harm in any way?\u003c/b>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">However, many parents are not worried about only whether timeout improves behavior but also whether it causes emotional harm to their children and how it might impact the parent-child relationship. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://journals.lww.com/jrnldbp/fulltext/2020/01000/longitudinal_relationship_between_time_out_and.5.aspx?casa_token=J3QpIVPKJloAAAAA:bSl7kEp99of6sbW4nQ5ejvYPNCSGkF9LpZ2KCQX1QPMqqDJPzI4NnN-tSO3KuQVvM7sJLGc84pxIXL7BTPqL3ws\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">A 2020 study\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> addressed this very question by examining the impact of timeout on children’s long-term social and emotional development. The researchers found in this study that when parents used timeout, their children were \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">not\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> more likely to show signs of anxiety or depression, aggression, rule-breaking behavior or difficulties with self-control. Timeout was also not associated with any impact on creativity or differences in how the children interacted with the parents or the parent-child relationship. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ca href=\"https://srcd.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1111/j.1467-8624.2009.01409.x?casa_token=NwguQ_W61BkAAAAA:CMLV4tzNFbHUkJK2jZhyH7ri9iOwTVYn-MktkTDJqUms_nEryXTgti8PeC3gSU3QWO7VSSxCTNRowdk\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Another study\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> including families from many different countries found that the frequency of timeout was associated with increases in mother-reported levels of child anxiety but not child-reported anxiety and was not linked to any differences in either mother-reported or child-reported aggression. This finding is hard to interpret but suggests that mothers may be worried about their child’s anxiety if they use timeout but the children are not reporting any changes in their anxiety themselves.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">It is important to note that in both of these studies, the researchers did not train parents in how to implement timeout or measure whether timeout was used “appropriately.” Therefore, this research suggests that timeout even as implemented by most parents (which is \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">not\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> the way recommended by research) is not associated with negative outcomes. It is also striking that very different results were found in both studies for harsh discipline tactics, such as spanking/physical punishment, yelling and expressing disappointment, which were linked to increased aggression in children. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Now, you might be thinking: “These studies are all correlational…how do we know that timeout doesn’t actually \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">cause any\u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> emotional harms?” Fortunately, we also have research suggesting that parenting programs that include timeout do not cause harm and often cause positive changes in children’s mental health. Randomized controlled trials of parenting programs that include timeout found that these programs were effective in not only reducing behavioral problems but also improving children’s mental health. Specifically, children who complete these programs show \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapsychiatry/fullarticle/2494708\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">fewer symptoms of anxiety and depression\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> and are \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapsychiatry/fullarticle/2494708\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">less likely to show emotional problems\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. A \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamanetworkopen/fullarticle/2795824\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">recent nonrandomized controlled trial\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> also found that a parenting program that included timeout improved children’s mental health.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">In addition, research that looks at the \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK75130/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">different components of these programs found that teaching parents timeout in particular was associated with more positive child and parent outcomes\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">. In other words, programs that included timeout were found to be more effective in improving parent-child interactions than programs that did not. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0005796712000186?casa_token=V49Q4fBGoroAAAAA:ke3e8U7goWm1vn_h4uWwK9tT218LfhpP_kl7n3PJkT_hXz4X9fG05X8hHVoPzw4zeTVgfMpF\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> also finds that parents show less harsh punishments after learning timeout through one of these programs. \u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">However, it is very important to mention that timeout has rarely been studied outside of the context of these positive parenting programs. Therefore, we do not know if timeout will have these positive outcomes when it is not being used with other positive parenting strategies. This is consistent with the very definition of an evidence-based timeout; all evidence-based programs specify that timeout should only be used when paired with positive parenting strategies.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003ch3>\u003cb>So should I use timeout?\u003c/b>\u003c/h3>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">As with all parenting decisions, you can use the research as a guide but ultimately you as a parent are the only one who knows what is best for your child and your family. Timeout is an effective tool that parents may or may not choose to use. This decision should not be based on fear or misinformation, but rather guided by your intuition, values, and knowledge of your specific child and family. If it does not feel right to you as a parent to use timeout, then it is important to know that the research does not indicate that you \u003c/span>\u003ci>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">must \u003c/span>\u003c/i>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">use timeout in order to be an effective parent.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Even in light of the research finding no harms of timeout, it is important to remember the limitations of timeout. Timeout does not teach your child what to do instead of the challenging behavior and does not teach them about their emotions. Therefore, timeout should only be used in the context of other positive parenting skills, such as emotional coaching (talking to our children about their emotions and the emotions of others), teaching coping strategies and other appropriate skills, and focusing on a positive relationship between parent and child. We also need more research on timeout, including further research examining the long-term impacts of timeout.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">If you are using these positive parenting skills and you would like to also use timeout occasionally, you can add timeout to your parenting toolkit without any guilt. \u003c/span>\u003ca href=\"https://www.rch.org.au/uploadedFiles/Main/Content/ccch/Risk_factors_for_childhood_mental_health_symptoms_Bayer.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\">Research\u003c/span>\u003c/a>\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400\"> consistently finds that harsh discipline tactics, such as yelling or physical punishment, are associated with increased mental health symptoms in children. If timeout gives you and your child a chance to calm down before you resort to these strategies, it might make sense. You can also use timeout and still use gentle parenting strategies that are backed by research such as emotional validation, empathy and positive attention. Despite how it is depicted on social media, parenting is not black-and-white and it is really up to you to determine what is right for your child and your family.\u003c/span>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003ci>Cara Goodwin, PhD, is a licensed psychologist, a mother of three and the founder of \u003c/i>\u003ca href=\"https://parentingtranslator.substack.com/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u003ci>Parenting Translator\u003c/i>\u003c/a>\u003ci>, a nonprofit newsletter that turns scientific research into information that is accurate, relevant and useful for parents.\u003c/i>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003c/p>\u003c/div>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}},{"type":"component","content":"","name":"ad","attributes":{"named":{"label":"floatright"},"numeric":["floatright"]}},{"type":"contentString","content":"\u003cdiv class=\"post-body\">\u003cp>\u003c/p>\n\u003cp>\u003cem>All Parenting Translator newsletters are reviewed by experts in the topic to make sure that they are as helpful and as accurate for parents as possible. This post was reviewed by Jenna Elgin and Shanna Alvarez, who are licensed psychologists and the founders of Helping Families Thrive (HFT). The mission at HFT is to bring parenting science to the everyday parent via easily-accessible, modern parenting resources (including \u003ca href=\"http://www.instagram.com/helpingfamiliesthrive\" rel=\"\">social media\u003c/a>, podcasts, \u003ca href=\"http://www.helpingfamiliesthrive.com/blog\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">blogging\u003c/a>, \u003ca href=\"https://helpingfamiliesthrive.com/courses/parenting-essentials/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">digital courses\u003c/a> and \u003ca href=\"https://helpingfamiliesthrive.com/workshops/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">workshops\u003c/a>). They also provide direct clinical work with families and conduct trainings for schools and professional organizations. Get their free emotion regulation guide \u003ca href=\"https://view.flodesk.com/pages/623398a4e4da3a4464c30979\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">here\u003c/a>.\u003c/em>\u003c/p>\n\n\u003c/div>\u003c/p>","attributes":{"named":{},"numeric":[]}}],"link":"/mindshift/61399/what-parenting-research-really-says-about-timeouts-and-how-to-use-them","authors":["byline_mindshift_61399"],"categories":["mindshift_21385"],"tags":["mindshift_21474","mindshift_21588","mindshift_231","mindshift_20568","mindshift_21706","mindshift_290","mindshift_21703","mindshift_21587"],"featImg":"mindshift_61403","label":"mindshift"}},"programsReducer":{"possible":{"id":"possible","title":"Possible","info":"Possible is hosted by entrepreneur Reid Hoffman and writer Aria Finger. Together in Possible, Hoffman and Finger lead enlightening discussions about building a brighter collective future. The show features interviews with visionary guests like Trevor Noah, Sam Altman and Janette Sadik-Khan. Possible paints an optimistic portrait of the world we can create through science, policy, business, art and our shared humanity. It asks: What if everything goes right for once? How can we get there? Each episode also includes a short fiction story generated by advanced AI GPT-4, serving as a thought-provoking springboard to speculate how humanity could leverage technology for good.","airtime":"SUN 2pm","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Possible-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"https://www.possible.fm/","meta":{"site":"news","source":"Possible"},"link":"/radio/program/possible","subscribe":{"apple":"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/possible/id1677184070","spotify":"https://open.spotify.com/show/730YpdUSNlMyPQwNnyjp4k"}},"1a":{"id":"1a","title":"1A","info":"1A is home to the national conversation. 1A brings on great guests and frames the best debate in ways that make you think, share and engage.","airtime":"MON-THU 11pm-12am","imageSrc":"https://ww2.kqed.org/radio/wp-content/uploads/sites/50/2018/04/1a.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"https://the1a.org/","meta":{"site":"news","source":"npr"},"link":"/radio/program/1a","subscribe":{"npr":"https://rpb3r.app.goo.gl/RBrW","apple":"https://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?s=143441&mt=2&id=1188724250&at=11l79Y&ct=nprdirectory","tuneIn":"https://tunein.com/radio/1A-p947376/","rss":"https://feeds.npr.org/510316/podcast.xml"}},"all-things-considered":{"id":"all-things-considered","title":"All Things Considered","info":"Every weekday, \u003cem>All Things Considered\u003c/em> hosts Robert Siegel, Audie Cornish, Ari Shapiro, and Kelly McEvers present the program's trademark mix of news, interviews, commentaries, reviews, and offbeat features. Michel Martin hosts on the weekends.","airtime":"MON-FRI 1pm-2pm, 4:30pm-6:30pm\u003cbr />SAT-SUN 5pm-6pm","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/All-Things-Considered-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"https://www.npr.org/programs/all-things-considered/","meta":{"site":"news","source":"npr"},"link":"/radio/program/all-things-considered"},"american-suburb-podcast":{"id":"american-suburb-podcast","title":"American Suburb: The Podcast","tagline":"The flip side of gentrification, told through one town","info":"Gentrification is changing cities across America, forcing people from neighborhoods they have long called home. Call them the displaced. Now those priced out of the Bay Area are looking for a better life in an unlikely place. American Suburb follows this migration to one California town along the Delta, 45 miles from San Francisco. But is this once sleepy suburb ready for them?","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/American-Suburb-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"/news/series/american-suburb-podcast","meta":{"site":"news","source":"kqed","order":"13"},"link":"/news/series/american-suburb-podcast/","subscribe":{"npr":"https://rpb3r.app.goo.gl/RBrW","apple":"https://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?mt=2&id=1287748328","tuneIn":"https://tunein.com/radio/American-Suburb-p1086805/","rss":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/series/american-suburb-podcast/feed/podcast","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5tZWdhcGhvbmUuZm0vS1FJTkMzMDExODgxNjA5"}},"baycurious":{"id":"baycurious","title":"Bay Curious","tagline":"Exploring the Bay Area, one question at a time","info":"KQED’s new podcast, Bay Curious, gets to the bottom of the mysteries — both profound and peculiar — that give the Bay Area its unique identity. And we’ll do it with your help! You ask the questions. You decide what Bay Curious investigates. And you join us on the journey to find the answers.","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Bay-Curious-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg","imageAlt":"\"KQED Bay Curious","officialWebsiteLink":"/news/series/baycurious","meta":{"site":"news","source":"kqed","order":"4"},"link":"/podcasts/baycurious","subscribe":{"apple":"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bay-curious/id1172473406","npr":"https://www.npr.org/podcasts/500557090/bay-curious","rss":"https://ww2.kqed.org/news/category/bay-curious-podcast/feed/podcast","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly93dzIua3FlZC5vcmcvbmV3cy9jYXRlZ29yeS9iYXktY3VyaW91cy1wb2RjYXN0L2ZlZWQvcG9kY2FzdA","stitcher":"https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kqed/bay-curious","spotify":"https://open.spotify.com/show/6O76IdmhixfijmhTZLIJ8k"}},"bbc-world-service":{"id":"bbc-world-service","title":"BBC World Service","info":"The day's top stories from BBC News compiled twice daily in the week, once at weekends.","airtime":"MON-FRI 9pm-10pm, TUE-FRI 1am-2am","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/BBC-World-Service-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/live:bbc_world_service","meta":{"site":"news","source":"BBC World Service"},"link":"/radio/program/bbc-world-service","subscribe":{"apple":"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/global-news-podcast/id135067274?mt=2","tuneIn":"https://tunein.com/radio/BBC-World-Service-p455581/","rss":"https://podcasts.files.bbci.co.uk/p02nq0gn.rss"}},"code-switch-life-kit":{"id":"code-switch-life-kit","title":"Code Switch / Life Kit","info":"\u003cem>Code Switch\u003c/em>, which listeners will hear in the first part of the hour, has fearless and much-needed conversations about race. Hosted by journalists of color, the show tackles the subject of race head-on, exploring how it impacts every part of society — from politics and pop culture to history, sports and more.\u003cbr />\u003cbr />\u003cem>Life Kit\u003c/em>, which will be in the second part of the hour, guides you through spaces and feelings no one prepares you for — from finances to mental health, from workplace microaggressions to imposter syndrome, from relationships to parenting. The show features experts with real world experience and shares their knowledge. Because everyone needs a little help being human.\u003cbr />\u003cbr />\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/podcasts/510312/codeswitch\">\u003cem>Code Switch\u003c/em> offical site and podcast\u003c/a>\u003cbr />\u003ca href=\"https://www.npr.org/lifekit\">\u003cem>Life Kit\u003c/em> offical site and podcast\u003c/a>\u003cbr />","airtime":"SUN 9pm-10pm","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Code-Switch-Life-Kit-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg","meta":{"site":"radio","source":"npr"},"link":"/radio/program/code-switch-life-kit","subscribe":{"apple":"https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/1112190608?mt=2&at=11l79Y&ct=nprdirectory","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnByLm9yZy9yc3MvcG9kY2FzdC5waHA_aWQ9NTEwMzEy","spotify":"https://open.spotify.com/show/3bExJ9JQpkwNhoHvaIIuyV","rss":"https://feeds.npr.org/510312/podcast.xml"}},"commonwealth-club":{"id":"commonwealth-club","title":"Commonwealth Club of California Podcast","info":"The Commonwealth Club of California is the nation's oldest and largest public affairs forum. As a non-partisan forum, The Club brings to the public airwaves diverse viewpoints on important topics. The Club's weekly radio broadcast - the oldest in the U.S., dating back to 1924 - is carried across the nation on public radio stations and is now podcasting. Our website archive features audio of our recent programs, as well as selected speeches from our long and distinguished history. This podcast feed is usually updated twice a week and is always un-edited.","airtime":"THU 10pm, FRI 1am","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Commonwealth-Club-Podcast-Tile-360x360-1.jpg","officialWebsiteLink":"https://www.commonwealthclub.org/podcasts","meta":{"site":"news","source":"Commonwealth Club of California"},"link":"/radio/program/commonwealth-club","subscribe":{"apple":"https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/commonwealth-club-of-california-podcast/id976334034?mt=2","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cDovL3d3dy5jb21tb253ZWFsdGhjbHViLm9yZy9hdWRpby9wb2RjYXN0L3dlZWtseS54bWw","tuneIn":"https://tunein.com/radio/Commonwealth-Club-of-California-p1060/"}},"considerthis":{"id":"considerthis","title":"Consider This","tagline":"Make sense of the day","info":"Make sense of the day. Every weekday afternoon, Consider This helps you consider the major stories of the day in less than 15 minutes, featuring the reporting and storytelling resources of NPR. Plus, KQED’s Bianca Taylor brings you the local KQED news you need to know.","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Consider-This-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg","imageAlt":"Consider This from NPR and KQED","officialWebsiteLink":"/podcasts/considerthis","meta":{"site":"news","source":"kqed","order":"7"},"link":"/podcasts/considerthis","subscribe":{"apple":"https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/id1503226625?mt=2&at=11l79Y&ct=nprdirectory","npr":"https://rpb3r.app.goo.gl/coronavirusdaily","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5ucHIub3JnLzUxMDM1NS9wb2RjYXN0LnhtbA","spotify":"https://open.spotify.com/show/3Z6JdCS2d0eFEpXHKI6WqH"}},"forum":{"id":"forum","title":"Forum","tagline":"The conversation starts here","info":"KQED’s live call-in program discussing local, state, national and international issues, as well as in-depth interviews.","airtime":"MON-FRI 9am-11am, 10pm-11pm","imageSrc":"https://cdn.kqed.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Forum-Podcast-Tile-703x703-1.jpg","imageAlt":"KQED Forum with Mina Kim and Alexis Madrigal","officialWebsiteLink":"/forum","meta":{"site":"news","source":"kqed","order":"8"},"link":"/forum","subscribe":{"apple":"https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/kqeds-forum/id73329719","google":"https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5tZWdhcGhvbmUuZm0vS1FJTkM5NTU3MzgxNjMz","npr":"https://www.npr.org/podcasts/432307980/forum","stitcher":"https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/kqedfm-kqeds-forum-podcast","rss":"https://feeds.megaphone.fm/KQINC9557381633"}},"freakonomics-radio":{"id":"freakonomics-radio","title":"Freakonomics Radio","info":"Freakonomics Radio is a one-hour award-winning podcast and public-radio project hosted by Stephen Dubner, with co-author Steve Levitt as a regular guest. 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